nayru_kleinefee

Teach Me To Love You, Chapter 10

2009-03-11T14:00:25Z

Teach Me To Love You

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 10 – No piddling on Iruka’s carpet.

“Mission report Hatake Kakashi.”

“Ah, you’re back.” Tsunade looked up from her papers and smiled. “Iruka-sensei will be happy.”

“M-hm.” Kakashi nodded, smiling back under his mask. He hadn’t been able to think about anything else on his way back to the village than of how happy he would make Iruka just by coming back, by being there, by simply being Kakashi. It was… strange still to know all of that, but he became more familiar with it every day. And it felt warm and safe and… and… just… just like it probably should feel to be Kakashi who was with Iruka.

“You’ve got yourself a feisty one, you know that?” The Sannin grinned at him.

“What do you mean?” He frowned.

“Well…” She examined her nails calmly. “I so happened to see him talk with Anko yesterday. She asked him to let her take a better look on the mask of you he’s been wearing around his neck every day since you had to leave. Cute, that, by the way. He denied.”

“Oh.” Kakashi knew that Iruka had wanted to keep a mask of him for the time while he’d had to be away on the mission. In return, Kakashi had gotten a shirt from the Chuunin to help him sleep.

“And when I say that he denied…” Tsunade smirked. “I mean that he told her something along the lines of ‘Anko, my dear friend, you know I really, really like you and I care about you being perfectly fine and I would never wish you any kind of harm, but if you ever only dare to touch this my mask that my boyfriend gave me, I will make you regret it because that’s my mask and my boyfriend!’ ”

“Oh.” Kakashi’s eyes widened.

“And that was even before she started whining about only wanting to look at it and maybe touch it a tiny little bit.” The Sannin seemed to enjoy herself immensely. “I didn’t completely get what he said to her then, only something about industrial dye, an alligator and rice pudding, but judging from the way she went from white to green in her face, he was rather… persuasive.”

“Oh.” He knew Iruka could be very possessive sometimes when he thought that other people showed too much interest in him. He wasn’t sure what to make of it, but somehow it made him feel good. It was another of those I-am-Kakashi-and-I-am-with-Iruka things he didn’t understand completely but didn’t want to miss ever again either.

“Perhaps you should tell him that you love him more often”, Tsunade suggested. “Maybe he stops threatening my shinobi then.”

“That… I…” Kakashi fidgeted.

“Kakashi… Have you told him that you love him yet?”

“I… I don’t know… I mean, I don’t know if I love him…”, the Jounin murmured.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Tsunade groaned. “What’s there to doubt?!”

“I… I don’t know how it feels…” He sighed, a little embarrassed, a little confused, a little sad. “I want to love him, but I don’t know how it feels. And he asked me not to say it unless I’m sure.” He looked up at his Hokage. “How does it feel?”, he asked softly. Maybe she knew?

“I… that…” The Sannin seemed to be at a loss of words for a moment. “You can’t describe that”, she told him finally.

“But how shall I know then?”

“You… you…” Tsunade sighed. “Look, Kakashi. If you love somebody, you’re… you can’t think of anybody else except that special person.”

“But I think of many people”, he muttered sadly. “Of you right now and of my targets or clients when I’m on a mission and-”

“That’s not the same”, the Sannin growled, glaring. “Are you so dense or are you just trying to rile me up?”

“I’m not trying to rile you up”, Kakashi assured hastily.

“Dense it is then.” Tsunade glared even more heatedly. “Look, think about what I said. I know it’s mostly a rather sappy description, but there’s some truth behind it, believe me.”

Kakashi just stared at her, completely confused now.

“Out”, the Sannin growled. “Go to your Iruka and think about what I said.” She snorted. “Some genius, really.”

He hastily made an exit. He would just ask Iruka about it.

-----

“Iruka? Iruka, I’m back”, Kakashi called softly into the Chuunin’s apartment, closing the door behind himself. He’d received a key to the apartment when he’d been taking care of Iruka and then the Chuunin had offered him to keep it instead of always having to knock at the window. Or to pick the lock of the door. Iruka hadn’t really enjoyed that.

“Iruka?” He peeked into the bedroom and bathroom but had to find that the apartment was empty. He felt a little twitch of sadness and a big twitch of disappointment at that. He’d been so looking forward to seeing Iruka again. All the way back he’d been making plans of what to do with Iruka the moment he would be back, like kissing and cuddling and talking and hair-stroking and… and… and being Kakashi with Iruka.

With a sigh, he let his body fall onto the couch, but immediately jumped up again when he heard a key click in the lock. Carefully feeling out with his chakra, he identified the presence outside as Iruka and also confirmed that he was alone. Yay! He grinned happily and pulled down his mask while he approached the door on silent feet.

“Stupid bag…”, he heard Iruka mutter under his breath the moment the door opened and the Chuunin stepped inside, not noticing him. Instead he looked, more glared at a paper bag in his arms and kicked the door shut. “Don’t you dare to rip now, we almost made it…” He bent down and placed the thing on the floor. “There you go. Good bag. I’m proud of you. Mission completed and all that, ne?”

“Hey”, Kakashi called softly.

“Gah!” Iruka jumped and immediately fell into a defensive crouch but then froze when he caught sight of the Copy-nin.

“I’m ba-” Kakashi couldn’t speak further, let alone wanted to, because there suddenly was a quite enthusiastic Chuunin plastered against his chest. He grinned happily and embraced his boyfriend, intending to kiss him, but again Iruka was faster and pressed their lips together, and then-

Kakashi’s eyes widened and he gasped when suddenly a warm, moist tongue was pressed against his lips, then slid in between them and started to stroke his own. He blinked, trying to process what was happening. He had Iruka’s tongue in his mouth… And Iruka seemed to have put it there on purpose… And he didn’t seem to want to take it back… And that… that was… it felt… it felt…

Suddenly Iruka froze against him, then immediately let go and jumped back. “I… I…”, he stammered. “I’m sorry! I didn’t… I… I mean, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t want to surprise you. I’m just… I mean, I’m sorry if you didn’t like it and-”

Kakashi felt the Chuunin tense against him when he drew him close again and pressed their lips together hungrily. He didn’t know whether he was supposed to or how that was possible, but he’d liked to have Iruka’s tongue in his mouth. It had felt… had felt a little weird maybe and foreign at first, but at the same time tingly and… so good.

When Iruka didn’t do anything to repeat his actions, Kakashi carefully parted his lips and mirrored what the Chuunin had done before. He pressed the tip of his tongue onto his lips and when he found no resistance, let it slip into Iruka’s mouth, searching for that feeling he’d experienced before. For a short moment nothing happened, no reciprocation came, but then Iruka finally relaxed against him and moved his tongue to stroke against the Jounin’s, and that was it, that was what he’d searched for. So, so good.

“Is it supposed to feel so good?”, he whispered incredulously when he reluctantly parted with Iruka to breathe again. He would have to breathe through his nose the next time instead of holding his breath. Tricky that, but he wasn’t a Jounin for nothing.

“Wha’d’yousay?”, Iruka breathed, and Kakashi chuckled when he saw that the Chuunin’s eyes were slightly glazed and hazy.

“Feels good”, he whispered. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?” Very much sooner. Like… since the first night he’d spent in Iruka’s bed. That would have been at least almost soon enough.

“Don’t know.” Iruka smirked suddenly. “I wanted to but I thought you might run away once I pounce on you. Or stick me so full of kunai I’d look like a porcupine afterwards.” And before Kakashi could answer, he let actions follow and kissed him until the Jounin was clinging to him because his shaking knees threatened to give in.

“Mrngl?”, he asked intelligently when he thought that Iruka had asked something. Wow, standing was trickier than he’d always thought it was. And breathing… now that was hard. Not to talk of thinking…

“I asked if it is alright with you that we do this more often from now on”, Iruka repeated slowly, smirking.

Kakashi just grabbed him and claimed his lips again. Standing, breathing, thinking and also talking… who needed that anyway?

----- ----- -----

He knew he was worrying Iruka, he knew that he was hurting Iruka even by refusing to talk. But still he couldn’t get himself to open his mouth and talk about what had happened. About how he’d almost died on the mission, about how he’d only been barely able to save himself by using the chakra-sealing jutsu he’d learned from Iruka. About how much the thought that he could make Iruka sad by dying had frightened him more than anything else ever had.

“Kakashi…”, he heard the Chuunin whisper while tender hands stroked over his hair. “Everything’s fine… you’re safe now…”

Kakashi could only make a low whimper and tighten his hold around him.

A kiss on his temple. “I love you, Kakashi.”

And the Jounin felt better.

----- ----- -----

“You are aware that he’s going to kill you, aren’t you?”, Pakkun asked.

“He’s not”, Kakashi murmured.

“He is.” The pug eyed the bundle in his master’s arms. “He’ll not like that.”

“But he said we could have one…” Kakashi held his small present protectively.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean one of those.”

“Why not?” The Jounin pouted. “It’s nice. And it’s not boring. And no cat.”

“And I thank the Big Bone that it isn’t.” Pakkun snorted. “But still. That thing is… it’s…”

“It’s not a thing.” Kakashi cradled his cargo more securely in his arms. “And he’ll like it.”

“I highly doubt that, boss.”

“He will. Iruka likes every person who’s nice.” Even him.

“It’s not a person.”

“You know what I mean”, Kakashi growled.

“But I don’t.”

“Iruka!” The Jounin whirled around to the front door of the apartment. “You’re back early.”

“I hurried because I knew you were due back.” Iruka quickly walked over to him and opened his arms to embrace him.

“Careful!” Kakashi hastily shifted the bundle in his arms so it wouldn’t get smashed between their bodies.

“Hm?” Iruka frowned. “What’s that?”

“Oh. It’s…” Kakashi felt nervousness pool inside him. What if Iruka told him to get rid of it? What should he do then?

“It’s the boss’ new pet”, Pakkun threw in icily.

“Your new…” Iruka closed his eyes and sighed. “You bought a pet? Without at least telling me first?”

“I didn’t buy it”, Kakashi told him hastily. “Or… at least not really.” Uh-oh, his boyfriend didn’t look happy at all.

“What is it?”

“It’s… you know… it’s not a cat. It’s…” Kakashi sighed and carefully peeled the blanket from his precious cargo. Immediately, the tiny snout peeked out from under it, sniffling excitedly into Iruka’s direction.

“Oh my…” The Chuunin’s eyes widened. “Is that…”

“Yes.” Pakkun snorted. “Pink, hairy, grunting, snout like a wall socket. It’s a pig.”

“It’s a mini-pig”, Kakashi corrected. “It won’t get much bigger than Pakkun, I swear.” He looked at his boyfriend pleadingly. “Can we keep it? Please?”

“Kakashi…” Iruka still looked at the small piglet. “A pig… I don’t know…”

“But it can’t go back!”, Kakashi told him. “They didn’t treat it well at the farm!”

“Kakashi, you know that pigs are held to be food for us humans. You might not like it, but it’s just the case that they’re kept in a pigsty and-”

“But that’s not it!” The Jounin clutched the piglet to his chest, then peeled the blanket further away, revealing a big bruise on its left side. “Look! They hurt it! I saw it!”

“They…” Iruka carefully reached out to gently stroke over the piglet’s side, his eyes narrowing angrily at the sight. “They hurt it? On purpose?”

“Yes.” Kakashi slowly rocked the squirming pig. “On my way back here I came by a farm and I wanted to buy apples for you and then I saw it.” He looked at the small animal. “It was digging in a muddy puddle with its snout and then the farmer’s son came out and suddenly kicked it.”

“What?!” Iruka looked at him in shock. “He kicked it? Just like that?”

“Yes!” Kakashi nodded. “And I wanted to go and tell him that he couldn’t do that but the farmer told me that it would be alright since the piglet wasn’t good for anything. He said that it had been a present for his son but he hadn’t wanted it and now he wouldn’t care about it at all, just wait for it to die because he’d decided not to feed it.” He carefully stroked over the pig’s back. “Because it was too small to eat it and feeding it would be a waste of money, he said…”

“Oh, Kakashi…” Iruka embraced him. “That’s horrible.”

“I know…” The Jounin snuggled his face against him. “And that’s why I told the farmer that he could keep his apples but that I wanted the piglet instead. I didn’t want it to die…” It hadn’t been the same as if two humans had fought one another because, no matter how cruel that could become, he knew that. It had been a human against this little piglet who’d never done anything to harm anybody. It had been so small, so alone, so helpless against those bigger and stronger. He’d instantly thought about how sad Iruka would have been about it and had just felt forced to help.

“I understand.” Iruka tenderly kissed his temple.

“He’s a he”, Kakashi told him. “And his name’s Cookie. Because I only had a travel ration with oat cookies left to feed him and he liked them a lot. Or maybe he was just starved, but… he ate many cookies, really. Although I think he’ll like your apple pancakes even more.” He looked up at his boyfriend. “Can we keep him?”

Iruka sighed. “I don’t know how to take care of a pig…”

“We can ask Tsunade.” Kakashi tried to position Cookie so he looked as small, cute and harmless as possible. “Can we keep him?”

“And then end up with a bratty little diva like Ton-Ton?” Iruka shook his head. “I’ll rather consult books.”

“Does that mean we can keep him?”, Kakashi asked hopefully, lifting Cookie up so the Chuunin could see him even better. “He wants to stay here. He wants to have your apple pancakes. I’m even willing to share them. A little. Can we keep him?”

Iruka sighed once again, then carefully took the piglet out of the Jounin’s hands. “If you do the potty training.”

“Yes!” Kakashi jumped up out of sheer joy. “Yes!”

“I can’t believe it…”, Pakkun murmured. “A pig.”

“But you can’t take every animal you find with you here, okay?” Iruka lifted Cookie up to his face and smiled at him. “Not even if they’re treated badly and so very cute that it should be illegal.”

“I didn’t plan to at first.” Kakashi gently embraced his boyfriend. “I originally planned to take him to another farm and ask them to take care of him. I know I can’t just take every animal I find to the apartment with me.” There would soon be not enough space left for him anymore then, and he definitely couldn’t let that happen.

“Why did you change your mind then?”, Iruka asked, nuzzling his nose against Cookie’s and making the piglet squeak happily.

“I had to search for almost half an hour until I finally found him in his hideout.” Kakashi nuzzled his nose into the Chuunin’s neck. “He was so terrified, didn’t even want me to come near him. He even bit me when I tried to grab him.”

“I can understand that…” Iruka sighed. “Humans aren’t good creatures, no matter what they think of themselves. Most of the time we are horrible, horrible beings.” He took a step back and sat down on the couch, Cookie and the blanket on his lap. “Did you take him here because you were impressed of his hiding and fighting abilities?” He chuckled. “Are you a nin-pig, Cookie, hm?”

Cookie grunted and snuggled against the Chuunin’s stomach. Kakashi decided immediately that he was a smart piglet for realising that Iruka’s stomach was a perfect place to snuggle up to.

“That wasn’t why I took him with me.” He smiled and sat down next to them. “He still had mud on his snout, you know. Here.” He gently trailed his finger over the pig’s snout. “He looked a lot like you.” He moved the same finger to follow the scar on his boyfriend’s face.

“You’re weird…” Iruka chuckled softly. “I like it.” He smiled at the Jounin. “I love you.”

“Want to love you.” Kakashi kissed him.

“Congratulations”, Pakkun snorted from the floor, “it’s a pig.”

“Pigs aren’t bad, Pakkun”, Iruka admonished mildly. “They’re very intelligent and clean animals. And very gentle and keen.”

“It’s a pig.” The pug shook his head. “Named Cookie.”

“Don’t listen to him, Cookie.” Iruka tickled the piglet’s stomach. “He’s just jealous that you’re so cute.”

“I don’t want to be cute”, Pakkun growled darkly.

“And that you’re allowed to sit on my lap right now. Sooo jealous.” Iruka grinned at Cookie.

“I’m jealous, too”, Kakashi decided. “I want to sit on your lap.”

“You want to sit on Cookie?!”, Iruka gasped in mock-shock. “Cookie! Run before Kakashi Butt of Doom sits on you!”

The Jounin laughed. “I can have Cookie sit on my lap”, he offered.

“Hmmm…” Iruka frowned deeply. “I think… I think Cookie and I can agree to that.” He grinned.

“Perfect.” Kakashi carefully took the piglet from his boyfriend’s lap, then sat down there instead and leaned his side against his chest, Cookie cradled securely between them.

“Want to join?”, Iruka offered to Pakkun.

“I…” The pug eyed Cookie blankly. “Not beside that.” A puff of smoke and he was gone.

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi murmured. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

“I think he’s jealous that we pay so much attention to Cookie.” Iruka sighed. “And I guess he’s afraid that he’ll be second row from now on.”

“But he’s my most valuable nin-dog!” Kakashi shook his head. “I know him since… since before I even became Genin. I will never want to replace him. He’s my…” He blinked when he suddenly realised something. “He’s more than a nin-dog. He’s my friend.”

“I know.” Iruka took his hand gently. “I know, shh. He’ll see that soon, believe me.”

-----

“It’s piddling on your boyfriend’s carpet”, Pakkun announced dryly.

“Wha- No! Cookie!” Kakashi hurried out of the kitchen towards the shocked piglet. “Bad Cookie”, he admonished, just as Iruka had told him to, while he crouched down to mop up the small puddle. “No piddling on Iruka’s carpet. I told you to wait until I’m going for a walk with you.”

“I really doubt it’s able to understand you.” Pakkun snorted. “Doesn’t seem smart enough.”

“He is”, Kakashi contradicted. “And stop calling him an ‘it’. He’s got a name, just like you and-” He stopped and frowned. “Pakkun?”

“What?” The pug made a step back warily.

“Do you think… do you think Cookie understands you better than me?”

“I’m not a pig”, Pakkun hissed icily.

“I didn’t want to say that”, Kakashi growled. “It’s just… other summons and also animals seem to understand what you’re telling them. Remember that horse in Water?” Stupid, mean thing had only stopped trying to bite his hands off after Pakkun had had a word with it.

“I refuse to talk with a pig.”

“You talked with frogs. And squirrels. And once with that cow.”

“But that… well…” The pug scowled at him. “Don’t think this is going to become a habit…” And with that, he stalked over to Cookie who regarded him carefully. “Listen, you… Cookie. That loud, nervous human there? That’s your boss.”

Cookie grunted questioningly.

“Okay, okay.” Pakkun rolled his eyes. “He is one of the bosses, okay? That other human, Iruka, is the other boss.”

Cookie made something that sounded like, ‘Gra-ouiiiek?’

Pakkun blinked, then turned his head towards his master, smirking. “He thinks your boyfriend is your boss, therefore his boss-boss. The alpha-male, so to say.”

“But…” Kakashi frowned, then shrugged. “Just get on with it.” After all, there was a certain kind of truth behind that…

Still smirking, Pakkun turned back towards Cookie. When the small piglet grunted happily, he immediately went back to scowling. “Okay… pig.” He snorted. “Listen. The boss wants you not to piddle in the apartment, meaning here, alright? And no big business either. He’ll go outside with you so you can take care of it there, okay? Understood?”

“You could be nicer”, Kakashi told him when Cookie looked at the pug sadly and confusedly. “He’s still almost a baby.”

“I don’t give a flying- Aah!”, Pakkun yelled, eyes wide in horror. “It’s slobbering me! It’s eating my ear!”

“He’s kissing you”, Kakashi explained, grinning like a madman. “I think he likes you.” If the excited, happy wagging of Cookie’s small, curled tail was any indication. “Maybe he decided that you’re his bigge- his older brother now and wants to cheer you up.”

“No! No! I’ll not-”

“Take it like a man”, Kakashi just said. “And men don’t squeak.”

“But he’s… he’s… You’ll pay for that, boss.”

-----

“Isn’t this nice?”, Iruka whispered, then went on humming.

“Mmmmrrrrrh…” Kakashi shifted to better place his head on his boyfriend’s stomach, careful not to throw Cookie from his own in the process. When he saw Pakkun lying on the floor and scowling, he motioned for him to join them on the couch.

“Not. Interested”, the pug told him but his eyes told differently.

“Please join us, Pakkun”, Iruka coaxed. “I would like to have as many of my precious people as I can here with me.”

“Your…” The dog’s eyes widened.

“Me too”, Kakashi said softly although his heart was beating loudly in his chest. “Come here so I can have Iruka, you and Cookie all at once.”

“But… I…” Pakkun sighed. “Only because Iruka asked me. I’m not coming for the- for Cookie. He’s just… he just happens to be there, too.”

“That’s fine”, Iruka whispered. “We know.”

“I’m not coming for him and- He’s slobbering me again!”, Pakkun complained, already sitting on the Copy-nin’s stomach. “And now he’s… he’s…”

“He wants to snuggle with you”, Kakashi murmured. “Stop whining, there’s not enough stomach for you to sit far away from him. I’m not an Akamichi.”

“But he’s all warm! Too warm! And he’s wagging his tail against me!” Pakkun sounded… pouting rather than annoyed or angry, Kakashi noticed.

“You’re always complaining when it’s cold on missions.” He yawned. “Enjoy it.”

“Enjoy it?”, Pakkun grumped, then continued murmuring darkly.

Kakashi still noticed that he shifted closer to Cookie. Heh…

-----

“A camera!” Iruka came hurrying into the bedroom. “Where’s the camera?!” He started digging in his cupboard.

“What’s up?” Kakashi frowned at his boyfriend. Iruka looked excited.

“Come! But shh!” The Chuunin sniggered, his camera in his hands. “It’s so cute!” He quickly walked back into the living room.

Kakashi followed, still frowning, until he caught sight of what had excited his boyfriend so much. A smirk built itself on his face.

“Isn’t this cute?!” Iruka took a second photo, then a third and fourth.

“I’ll never let him live that down”, Kakashi announced, still smirking at the scene in front of him. “Never.” But he had to admit that it indeed looked cute to see Pakkun sound asleep and curled protectively around an also sleeping Cookie.

----- ----- -----

“I distract them and you run with him, boss”, Pakkun murmured. “They seem… calm now but I think that’s going to change soo-”

“Oh my god!” Anko.

Kakashi took a step back.

“Look at that!” Genma.

Kakashi held Cookie closer to his chest while Pakkun positioned himself between them and the two squealing humans.

“So cuuuuuuute!” Genma.

Kakashi quickly covered the piglet’s ears, mourning his lack of a second pair of hands for his own ears.

“A piggy!” Anko. “Kakashi’s got a piggy!”

“You won’t get him”, the Jounin sternly told them in advance. “He’s afraid of you.” He should have insisted on Iruka staying and helping him, he really should have. But how should he have known that two Jounin would turn into creepy, squealing… monsters once they caught sight of Cookie?

“He’s not!” Genma shook his head vigorously. “I wanna hold him!”

“No.” Kakashi wrapped the blanket tighter around Cookie to hide him from their greedy stares.

“So not a good idea, boss”, Pakkun murmured.

“I wannaaaa!”

“Genma, stop whining.” Raidou shook his head. “Kakashi’s right. You’ll probably squeeze him too much.”

“I won’t!” The Special Jounin stomped with his foot. “I won’t!”

“Me neither!” Anko made a grab for the blanket.

“No.” Kakashi jumped away quickly, highly aware of her long, sharp fingernails. A short look confirmed that Cookie was alright and watching the three new humans with something between slight fear and morbid fascination.

“Genma.” Raidou held his boyfriend back when he tried to get his hands on the small pig once again. “Calm down, will you? I’m sure Kakashi will let you touch him once you’ve stopped acting like an idiot.”

“Maybe”, the Copy-nin murmured.

“I’d say not”, Pakkun announced.

“May I pet him?”, Anko asked hopefully, visibly shaking from the effort to stand still and behave. “Only a little?”

Kakashi eyed her suspiciously. “Maybe a little. But no trying to grab him.”

“I won’t”, the kunoichi promised, then slowly reached out with her hand and carefully stroked over Cookie’s forehead with the tip of one finger. “He’s so warm”, she murmured. “And so soft…”

“I want, too.” Genma inched closer and carefully mirrored her actions under Kakashi’s stern gaze. “He’s so tiny.”

“He’ll get bigger.” Kakashi allowed himself to relax a little. “About the size of a cat I was told.”

“How did Iruka react?”, Raidou asked.

“He said that Cookie could stay if I do the potty training and if he sleeps in the living room once he’s feeling familiar with the apartment.” Kakashi hesitated for a moment, then decided that at least Raidou was safe for the piglet and carefully handed Cookie over to him under Pakkun’s stern gaze. “Right now he’s sleeping in a basket next to the bed.”

“Ah.” Raidou looked at Cookie. “You’re a lucky little piglet, you know that?”, he murmured. “You couldn’t have found yourself better parents than Kakashi and Iruka. But in exchange I want you to be nice to them and make sure they stay alright and happy, okay?”

Cookie grunted seriously, looking the scarred Jounin right into his eyes.

“Smart Cookie.” Raidou grinned at him.

----- ----- -----

“A piglet!”

Kakashi just barely managed to jump through the window into Iruka’s classroom, snatch Cookie and his boyfriend and jutsu all three of them to the back of the room before they could get stomped over by a horde of children. “I told you”, he admonished.

“I didn’t expect them to be quite that enthusiastic…” Iruka watched his students wide-eyed while they seemed to search for the piglet and their teacher in the front of the room. He frowned. “And I expected them to be smarter when they search for somebody…”

“I guess I should take him to the apartment.” Kakashi gently took the frightened piglet from his boyfriend’s hands.

“Let’s try once again.” Iruka smiled at him. “I only want to show him to them, afterwards you can take him with you, alright?” He kissed the Jounin softly. “Don’t worry, Cookie, you’ve got the best bodyguard in town.”

“Why do you want to show him to them anyway?”, Kakashi sighed.

“Because I’m sure that most of the kids living inside the village have never seen a real pig.” Iruka smiled a little. “Neither a cow or a sheep. It’s kind of sad…”

“You’re right.” Kakashi reassuringly rubbed his back, then took a deep breath. “Come on, Cookie, we’ve got a mission. Show them what a real pig is.”

----- ----- -----

Cold. He was so cold. Cold. Numb. Lifeless. Bloody. Tired. So tired of everything. So cold. His hands were stained with blood. He’d killed. He felt so cold. Everything was so dark.

Streets. People. Houses. One house. The house. Stairs. A door. Keys, he had keys. But he shouldn’t go here. He didn’t belong here. He was too cold, too dark, too numb than to be allowed to be here. He wasn’t worth being let in, wasn’t worth being here, he wasn’t-

“Kakashi.” Brown eyes. Tired. Worried.

He blinked. But he wasn’t Kakashi, not the Kakashi Iruka wanted. He was Sharingan Kakashi. He’d killed. As he was supposed to. As he was there to. As was his only purpose in this thing he called life for the lack of a better name.

“Kakashi, please.” A smile. Hands reaching for him.

“Why do you even bother with me?”, he asked softly. Longing. He longed for those hands, for the warmth. But he shouldn’t. He wasn’t worth any of it.

“Why I bother with you?” The smile became softer. A hand was held out for him. “Take my hand, Kakashi.”

He reached out. Saw his hands. Stained. Bloody. He shouldn’t touch Iruka like this. He turned around, into the kitchen. Water. Crusted gloves off, sleeves up, cleaning. Washing away the visible blood. Not to stain Iruka. Then he turned around, went back, carefully took the offered hand in both of his. Careful, had to be careful. Not hurt Iruka, never hurt Iruka.

“This is why, Kakashi.”

He blinked. Looked up.

“This is why I ‘bother’ with you. This is why I love you.” Iruka smiled. “One of the whys. It’s the way you treat me. You treat me as if I was special and precious. You treat me as an equal and also as your most important person. You allow me to come close to you, even if you’re hurt and fragile like now. You…” He swallowed and blinked. “You let me close enough to share your laughter, your light and your warmth but also your fear, your pain and your darkness. I love you for all of this.”

“I don’t understand…”

“You do.” Iruka chuckled. “You’re just too tired right now. Come to bed with me, hm?”

“Yes”, he whispered. “I… I want that.” He allowed Iruka to lead him to the bedroom, to undress him and clean him with a warm washcloth, then he sank onto the bed.

“Come here.” Arms pulled him close and a warm body moved until he was lying beneath it. “Let me shield you tonight, Kakashi”, Iruka whispered. “I won’t let anything or anybody get to you. I won’t allow it.”

And Kakashi slept.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi jumped up onto a tree branch in front of the window to Iruka’s classroom, settled himself and Cookie in a blanket around his waist down and got ready for watching his boyfriend teach. Aaand he had provisions. Life was good. Life was very-

“I knew I’d find you here. Stalker-pervert.”

-unfair. “Genma.”

“You look cheery today.” The Special Jounin smirked. “Anything you wanna tell me? Hey, Cookie.”

Kakashi just looked at him blankly. He had three of Iruka’s apple pancakes in the small plastic box in his hands, leftovers from breakfast. But he so wouldn’t tell Genma about them.

“Gen, stop annoying him.” Raidou jumped up to sit down on the Copy-nin’s other side.

“Awww, Rai…” Genma pouted. “I’m just trying to- Hey, what’s in that box?”

“Nothing.” Kakashi clutched it harder.

“Aw, come on… Tell me!” Genma tried to snatch it, but Kakashi wasn’t a Jounin for nothing.

“Gen, stop that.” Raidou sighed. “I told you not to annoy him and just invite him.”

“For what?”, Kakashi asked.

Raidou smiled. “It’s my birthday next Sunday. We’re celebrating it at my family’s house, as every year, and I would like you and Iruka to come. And Cookie if he wants.”

“Oh. Okay.” He couldn’t remember ever having been at a birthday party. But Iruka would certainly know how to… do that.

“Wonderful.” Raidou smiled. “And please don’t bring any presents, okay? And tell Iruka that, please.”

“You won’t be able to stop him though.” Genma sniggered. “Iruka would never come to a birthday party without a present.”

“Ah.” Kakashi thought about that. A present, hu? But Raidou didn’t want any. Why not? Maybe he was afraid that he wouldn’t like them? Then he would have to think of something that everybody had to like. Wouldn’t be easy since he knew only two things that everybody just had to like. And he wasn’t happy about the thought that he should have to share. But it was a birthday after all…

“Well, we’ll be off then.” Raidou patted his shoulder. “By-”

“Wait.” Kakashi took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he was really doing this. But there was only one thing he could think of that everybody had to like – apart from Iruka and his other precious persons, and he so was not willing to share the Chuunin, Cookie or Pakkun.

“What is it?” Raidou frowned.

“I…” Ignoring his body’s furious screams to stop, he held out his lunchbox to Raidou. “Happy birthday.”

Cookie grunted in shock.

“Oh?” The other Jounin slowly took the box. “But it isn’t my birthday yet.”

“But I… I have them now…”, Kakashi forced out. And once he would let his mind fully register what he was doing, he couldn’t be sure to still be able to do it. But it was the only thing he could give away if he wanted and that everybody just had to like.

“Oh.” Raidou carefully opened the box, then his eyes widened. “Are those… Iruka’s?!”

“M-hm…” Kakashi couldn’t look at his lost treasure and instead tried to calm an indignant Cookie down. “Happy… early birthday…”

“Genma…” Raidou looked at his lover with wide eyes.

“Damn…” The Special Jounin took his senbon from his mouth. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re trying to take my Rai from me, Hatake…”

“It’s… it’s a present…”

“Thank you”, Raidou said softly. “Thank you, Kakashi, that’s…” He laughed shakily. “Anko won’t believe me if I tell her…”

“She doesn’t have birthday soon, too, or does she?”, Kakashi asked carefully.

“Don’t think so…” Genma laughed softly.

“Wanna share?”, Raidou offered, took one pancake and handed the box over to the Copy-nin. “One for each of us? And some nibbles for Cookie?”

“Okay…” Kakashi took one, rolled it up and gave Genma the last. “They’re even better when they’re warm. Want me to use a jutsu?”

“Yes, please.” Raidou smiled. “That would be-”

“Kakashi!”, Iruka’s voice rang towards them suddenly. “Come here for a second, okay?”

The Jounin hurried to jump onto the windowsill of his boyfriend’s classroom. “Yes?”

“Three things.” Iruka grinned at him and obviously completely ignored his students grinning and giggling behind his back. “First, give me a bite?”

“Okay.” Kakashi held out his pancake for his boyfriend. He would give Iruka everything, even his apple pancakes.

“Mank myou”, Iruka mumbled, chewing. “Mecond…” He swallowed. “Second, you really should be a little quieter out there, I could hear every word.”

“Oh.” Kakashi scratched the back of his head. “Sorry.”

“And third…” Iruka wrapped his arms around his neck and gave him a long kiss. “I love you so, so, sooo much”, he whispered afterwards over his students’ giggling. “And I will make you a load of pancakes for dinner today. A mountain of apple pancakes. All for you.”

----- ----- -----

tbc

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Nayru

Teach Me To Love You, Chapter 9

2009-01-26T16:16:37Z

Teach Me To Love You

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 9 – Air guitar?

Kakashi woke when something right changed to something wrong. Without noticing what he was doing exactly, he rolled to his side and blindly reached out to grab Iruka around his waist and pull him back into the bed before he could stand up. And then everything was right again.

“I only wanted to get a glass of water”, the Chuunin whispered. “I didn’t intend to go away for long.”

“Don’t leave”, Kakashi pleaded and tightened his hold.

“I won’t leave.” A gentle hand stroked over his cheek, making him flinch at the foreign touch on his bare skin.

He tried hard but couldn’t stop the memories from coming back. And he felt naked, had never before felt so naked. Everything inside him was stripped bare to Iruka’s eyes now, he would do anything Iruka would ask from him, tell him everything and do whatever he wanted. He was weak and powerless against the Chuunin, even if it would probably only last for a little while to this extend, but he was and still it felt right to him, and even safe. And that was frightening, even if it also felt good somehow, calming, right. He didn’t understand all of this… this thing that was happening to him but still he didn’t care. Because it was Iruka who was with him, Iruka who held him in his arms. He heard a little whimper escape his lips and dragged the Chuunin closer to his chest, trying to assure himself that he was there, still there, and wouldn’t leave.

“It’s fine”, Iruka told him softly and stroked over his hair. “I won’t go anywhere.”

“Your students…”, Kakashi murmured when he remembered that the Chuunin had been planning to go back to teaching that day. But he didn’t want it, he didn’t want to have to let go.

“They’ll have to cope with a substitute for another day. I don’t intend to go anywhere today.”

“Thank you…” He slowly, hesitantly opened his right eye, then lifted his head to look at Iruka. He flinched once again when he saw that the bruises from his hand on the Chuunin’s neck had an angry purple-black colour.

“I’m sure it looks worse than it feels”, Iruka assured and smiled softly, but now that he was more awake, Kakashi could hear that his voice was hoarse and strained.

“I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes in shame. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”

“It’s alright.” Iruka kissed his forehead. “I’ve had worse.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you, Iruka. I never want to hurt you and-”

“I forgive you, Kakashi.”

“But…” Kakashi shook his head. “But I hurt you. I didn’t want that, I never wanted to hurt you. I know that you can’t forgive me but-”

“Shh.” The Chuunin placed a finger on his lips. “I’m not made of glass, Kakashi. I’ve been on eleven A-rank missions and countless B-, C- and D-ranks. I’ve even got a giant shuriken in my back once. What you did yesterday is something I can forgive you easily. Because you didn’t intend to hurt me.”

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi whispered but finally allowed himself to believe that he indeed was forgiven. But still… “Did you cry?”

“Because of these?” Iruka smiled softly. “No.”

“But…” He sighed sadly. “Don’t I always make you cry? Like… like yesterday and when I thought I didn’t want you to hug me and when I didn’t understand that you loved me at first and when I didn’t make that woman go away.” And he’d done it again, he’d again hurt his Chuunin.

“It wasn’t your fault, Kakashi”, Iruka whispered tenderly. “And even if it was, I wouldn’t mind to cry because I love you.” He chuckled. “That’s the reason why I cry even, and the reason why I don’t mind, too. I love you and I care about you and that’s why I sometimes cry when I think that you’re hurt or that you’re going to leave me. Love makes me do stupid things and feel so much it’s sometimes nearly too much and still not mind that at all.”

“I…” Kakashi swallowed hard. “I… I want that, too. All of that.” Although it still frightened him. But if Iruka felt that way, then he wanted to feel the same towards him.

“I’ll help you.” The Chuunin smiled softly.

“Please.” Kakashi slowly lifted his hand and carefully touched the bruises on his neck. “Does it hurt much?”

“I won’t try to lie to you”, Iruka said. “It hurts quite a lot, kind of throbs. But I had worse, really.”

“Okay.” Somehow, Iruka telling him the truth and not trying to comfort him with lies made it easier to bear, at least a little.

“Do you hurt still?”, Iruka asked softly.

“I don’t know.” Kakashi tightened his hold around the Chuunin’s waist. “Yes.” But less than the day before. Less than the years and years before. Before Iruka.

“Nothing of what happened to your father was your fault”, Iruka whispered. “You were just a child.”

Kakashi shook his head. He didn’t want to think about it. Deep, deep inside himself, he knew that Iruka was right, had maybe always known it. But it had been easier to just accept it, to just take the stares and whispers and loathing directed at him as rightful, had been easier to stop feeling, to stop hurting. Had been easier to become an emotionless shell with more than one mask, just as his father had always preached. At least he had done what had been expected from him like that.

“Stop looking like that”, Iruka told him softly and smiled when Kakashi looked up at him. “Smile at me. I’ve always wanted to see how you smile.”

“Okay.” Kakashi did as told.

“Not like that.” Iruka chuckled. “You look as if you just ate something really nasty and now try not to show.”

“Sorry”, Kakashi murmured.

“Don’t worry.” Iruka stroked over his cheek. “I’ll make you smile soon. But first…” He leaned forward, grinning. “I want you to kiss me.”

Kakashi nodded, then complied and as always noticed that kissing Iruka seemed to warm him from the inside like nothing else ever had. And this time it was even better, even more intense than before, because he felt himself do something he’d never done before: He trusted completely.

“There”, Iruka whispered.

“Hm?” Kakashi blinked in confusion.

“You’re smiling.” He gave him a quick peck. “Looks nice. And it’s all mine.”

“Oh.” Kakashi hadn’t noticed. But then again, he so often did things around Iruka that surprised him. And that probably shouldn’t surprise him anymore.

“What about breakfast now?”, Iruka offered. “Apple pancakes?”

“Yes!” Apple pancakes!

“You look nice grinning, too.” Iruka laughed, but then suddenly broke off, grimaced and held his throat.

“Sorry!”, Kakashi immediately gasped. “Sorry!”

“It’s fine”, Iruka rasped. “I’ll just be more careful from now on.”

“I have salve in my vest”, the Jounin offered. “It lessens the pain from bruises.” And it was only for A-rank missions, by Tsunade’s order. But Iruka was more important than any mission for him and Tsunade… that old hag would either understand or could just go and leave him alone with her bitching.

“That would be nice.” Iruka smiled. “Does it also make them disappear?”

“No.” Kakashi shook his head. Making the bruises disappear wasn’t necessary to complete a mission.

“Hm. I’ll have to find something like a turtleneck for tomorrow then.” Iruka shrugged. “I haven’t seen them yet, but judging from your reaction right now, I probably won’t be able to pretend that they’re love bites.”

“I… guess not.” Kakashi looked at the huge, painful-looking bruises.

“How high up do they reach?”

“Up till here.” Kakashi carefully placed the very tip of his index finger a little bit under the Chuunin’s jaw.

“That high?” Iruka grimaced. “I don’t think any turtleneck can cover that. I’ll have to use a jutsu to disguise them then.”

“That will be hard”, Kakashi murmured. He knew that school for Iruka always lasted at least five if not eight hours. And then also mission desk duty. It would be hard to hold a jutsu concealing his whole neck for so long. For him, on the other hand, it would be easier. Not because he was a Jounin or had more chakra reserves but mostly because of… his…

“You could borrow one of my masks”, he offered.

“And then run around like a Kakashi-clone?” Iruka arched an eyebrow. “That’s so much less likely to cause questions than the bruises.”

“I didn’t mean to hide your face.” Kakashi pouted. “I meant to hide your neck. You could say that you have a sore throat and need to keep it warm.”

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t nice to make fun of you.” Iruka gave him an apologetic kiss. “Thank you for the offer, I will definitely give it a try. And you’re cute when you pout.”

“‘Cute’?!”, Kakashi gasped incredulously. Now that was something nobody had ever said to him.

“Definitely.” Iruka grinned. “I’m so happy that you won’t wear the mask around me anymore. There’s so much about you I want to see.” He gave him another kiss. “Show me?”

“I want that”, Kakashi whispered.

----- ----- -----

“Been a little rough, Kakashi?”

The Jounin jumped guiltily and whirled around to Genma. Had the Special Jounin noticed something on Iruka? Had he seen through the mask on his chin and their trick?

“Iruka doesn’t seem to mind though…” Genma leered.

“He… he said that he’s not angry”, Kakashi assured.

“Not angry indeed…” The leer intensified. “He seems to like it when you mark him. Looks rather happy with your mask if you ask me…”

Kakashi blinked confusedly and looked back at Iruka. And indeed the Chuunin was right at that moment tugging at the cloth around his neck before he pulled it over his nose and down to his chin again, smiling softly. Kakashi had seen him do that every couple of minutes while he had been teaching and in the mission room, the Jounin following him everywhere. Only to make sure that he wouldn’t overstrain himself, that was. Really.

“Keep making him smile like that.” Genma patted his shoulder and turned to leave.

“Genma?”

“Hm?” The Special Jounin stopped. “What is it?”

Kakashi still looked at Iruka, at how the Chuunin was smiling softly whenever he smelled at the mask. “What… How does it feel to be in love?”, he asked and turned around.

Genma smiled softly. “There’s nothing you can compare with it. It feels like… like… I can’t explain it.”

“Oh.” Kakashi sighed disappointedly.

“Love…” Genma frowned a little. “Love makes you strong. And it makes you want to use that strength to do whatever your beloved wants or needs.” He shrugged. “I can’t explain it better.”

“M-hm…” Iruka was making him stronger, Kakashi knew that. Iruka made him stronger by giving him enough calmness to sleep. And he wanted to use this strength to do whatever Iruka wanted or needed.

There was only one thing. He would also use all his new strength to do whatever his village or Tsunade wanted him to do. And he was very, very, very-very sure that he didn’t love the Sannin. So what did that mean?

“This is so complicated”, Kakashi murmured. “Why can’t this be easier to understand?”

----- ----- -----

“Kakashi!”

The Jounin all but flew towards his boyfriend at hearing the concern in his voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Get me the empty laundry basket and at least two blankets”, Iruka told him hastily. “And set water to boil for a hot-water bottle.” He turned around to the Copy-nin, revealing Bull sitting behind him and Pakkun lying in his arms.

“Pakkun!”, Kakashi gasped. The little pug looked sweaty and feverish, his breathing was shallow and his eyes were glazed over, not focusing on anything.

“I think he got sick after he went out with Bull to get us groceries and got soaked.” Iruka carefully cradled the small dog in his arms. “I guess he’s got the flu but maybe it’s even pneumonia.” He looked up, his eyes wide with worry and making Kakashi feel drawn close instantly. “Please help me get him warm and then we’ll take him to Tsunade-sama.”

-----

“He’s waking up”, Iruka whispered.

“Pakkun.” Kakashi carefully put a thermometer into the dog’s mouth. “Don’t panic, okay? You’re with us. We’ll take care of you.”

Pakkun mumbled something.

“You’ve got the flu”, Iruka told him softly. “But it’s already getting better. Your temperature is lower than yesterday.”

“You never get sick, hm?”, Kakashi murmured. “Next time do as Iruka tells you.”

Pakkun sighed in a way that sounded as if he was agreeing.

-----

“I really think Tsunade-sama said chicken soup…” Kakashi arched an eyebrow, suppressing a smirk.

“Are you sure?” Iruka looked at him, smiling softly. “I could swear she said beef soup.”

“Beev soub”, Pakkun agreed. “Definidly. Wid mudch beev in id.”

“Maybe she said chicken and beef soup?”, Iruka offered.

“Dchicken an’ beev soub.” Pakkun nodded.

-----

“You’re completely fine again already.” Kakashi glared.

“Am nod.” Pakkun glared back.

“You are. You’re eating normally, you have no fever anymore, you’re walking around and all that. Only thing is the way you speak. And that’s faked.” To get more of Iruka’s attention. Attention that belonged to him.

“Am sdill sick.” The pug huffed.

“Are not.”

“Am doo.”

“Are not.”

“So am.”

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at the annoying dog. “Get your hairy butt back to your pack or I tell Iruka you’re faking being sick to leech off of him.”

“You wouldn’t”, Pakkun growled.

“I will.” Kakashi smirked. “And he won’t be happy with you then.”

Pakkun scowled more, brain obviously working furiously. “Fine”, he hissed finally. “Cheapskate.” He bamphed away.

“Oh, Pakkun’s gone already?”

Kakashi jumped and turned around to his boyfriend. “Felt all better.”

“Ah…” Iruka arched an eyebrow.

“Very much better”, Kakashi assured.

“Is that so…”

“Yes.” He felt sweat building at the back of his neck.

“Did it have anything to do with the apple pancakes waiting in the kitchen?” Iruka tilted his head. “And with the fact that I didn’t have many apples left and had to make less than usual?”

“No?”

----- ----- -----

“And yet another scar”, Iruka sighed and carefully moved his fingers over the angry red line on his chest.

“It doesn’t look bad”, Kakashi assured while he threw away the bandages. “It’s a clean cut.” He had much worse-looking scars.

“You’re right.” Iruka turned his head to him and smiled softly. “I’m not bothered by how it looks, I just… It’s another reminder of how easy it is to die…”

“I won’t let you die”, Kakashi whispered and embraced him tightly. Never. He just wouldn’t allow it.

“I know.” Iruka smiled, the scar over his nose crinkling.

“Where did you get that one?” Kakashi carefully followed it with a fingertip. “Only if you don’t mind me asking.”

“I don’t.” Iruka scrunched up his nose under the Jounin’s caress, chuckling. “I got it when I defeated my first S-ranked criminal.”

“Impressive.” Kakashi nuzzled his neck.

“I was five”, Iruka told him.

“What?!” The Copy-nin stared at him wide-eyed.

Iruka grinned smugly. “Ha, now you’re impressed, aren’t you?”

“How did you do that?” Even he hadn’t had to fight against an S-criminal before the age of eight.

“Well…” Iruka winked at him. “I already told you that both my parents were Jounin. And therefore, they had quite some people holding a grudge against them.”

“I can imagine that”, Kakashi whispered.

“One day, when I was playing in our garden, a man suddenly came out of nowhere and grabbed me.” Iruka sighed and snuggled into the Jounin’s chest. “He was a Konoha shinobi but a traitor, obviously. The ANBU later found out that he’d been paid by a feudal lord from Water to kill me to take revenge on my father for stealing something from him as a mission.”

“What happened?”

“The man held me in front of his chest, one hand around my neck and the other arm around my waist. He yelled towards our house for my father to come out and then, when my parents had run out into the garden, he told them that he would kill me in front of their eyes. And then he let go of my neck and drew a knife and slowly dragged it over my face. It hurt like hell.” Iruka sighed again. “I was screaming and fighting and crying but it didn’t help. And I could see my parents’ faces. They had never before looked so terrified.”

Kakashi just tightened his hold. The thought that he could lose Iruka terrified him, too, but he couldn’t even begin to imagine how much worse it would be if Iruka had been his tiny, vulnerable, defenseless five-year-old son.

“I could barely see anything because of the pain, but I saw tears running over my mother’s face”, Iruka whispered. “And the man started to laugh. And then I got so angry suddenly. He was hurting my mommy and nobody was allowed to do that. I tried to get free but he had my arms in his hold around my waist, and so I only could use my legs.” The Chuunin lifted his head and smirked at Kakashi. “And I did.”

“What did you do?”

“I kicked him.” Iruka’s smirk became cruel. “And I hit a place that really hurt. And then I managed to free one arm and punched my elbow into his chest. And when he let go of me, I bit him in his hand. And then I kicked him again, against his shin this time. And then in his side when he lay on the ground. And I pulled at his hair.”

“And he didn’t fight back?”, Kakashi asked incredulously.

“Well…” Iruka bit his lip and looked at him impishly. “After my first kick hit and distracted him, my father and mother attacked, too, and they managed to hold him down while I… continued. I highly doubt that any hit apart from the first kick into his treasures really fazed that bastard, but I was five and hurting and angry because he had made my mommy sad.”

Kakashi chuckled. “I can almost see that…” A smaller, very much smaller version of Iruka with his face scrunched up in anger unleashing his wrath. The Jounin decided to leave the cut and the blood out of his imagination.

“Don’t you dare to say that I didn’t defeat him.” Iruka pouted. “Because I did.”

“Yes, you did.” Kakashi gave him a small kiss.

“I so did.” Iruka kissed back.

“I like this scar”, Kakashi whispered and kissed the Chuunin’s nose. “I would have preferred you not getting hurt, but it’s not a bad scar.” Like his were.

“M-hmm…” Iruka sighed. “It hurt like hell though. All the time while my mother cleaned and bandaged it, I was wailing. But she kept saying that it was okay to cry because I had been so brave before. And my father told me that he’d never been more proud of me. And then they took me to Sandaime-sama and told him about everything, and he said that he was very proud, too, and that I would one day become a very good shinobi.”

“You are”, Kakashi whispered. “But you are an even better human.”

“That’s easy.” Iruka chuckled. “You just have to always, always and always try to protect those precious to you. With everything you have.”

“I will.” Kakashi kissed him. Always, always and always.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi hopped happily up onto the tree in front of Iruka’s apartment. He’d found delicious-looking cherries at the market. For Iruka. Cherries for Iruka. To eat them and then smile and be happy. And then kiss him, yes, then ki-

Oh? But there was noise in the apartment. Loud noise. And voices. Two voices, no, three. Iruka and… Raidou maybe… and that third person… probably somebody in the radio from the sound of it.

Slowly, Kakashi reached out towards the window, seeing two persons moving behind the thick curtains, then pulled the window open. Immediately, the noise increased and turned out to be loud music with much guitars and drums. He frowned. That was really very loud. Iruka usually preferred low music in the background. But however… Shrugging, the Copy-nin jumped through the window and the fishnet curtains, then froze when he caught sight of what was going on inside the apartment.

As did Iruka and Raidou.

Iruka was standing on his left foot, the right one in the air and his left arm thrown over his head. His right hand held a large kitchen spoon in front of his mouth. Raidou was kneeling on the floor, back bent backwards and both hands in front of his chest in a weird position as if he was holding something made out of thin air.

All three shinobi stared at each other for a couple of moments.

“Ka… Kakashi…”, Iruka murmured, only to be seen by the movement of his lips. Then he hastily put his foot back to the ground and hid the spoon behind his back before he hurried over to the CD-player and switched it off. “Hi?”

Kakashi just kept staring.

“We… we were just…” Iruka blushed softly. “You know… we were…”

“Erm… I…” Raidou quickly scrambled to his feet. “I have… something to do. Bye.” His face beet-red, he ran out of the apartment.

“Wha…” Kakashi still stared at Iruka. “What were… you doing?”

“We were…” The Chuunin blushed a little more but took the spoon back from behind his back. “We were singing a little…”

“Singing?” Kakashi blinked. “That noise I heard?”

“Hey!” Iruka glared at him. “That wasn’t noise! I bet I can sing better than you!” He pouted.

“But… why were you singing?” Instead of pouting. Iruka pouting looked so nice… so kissable… maybe he could…

“It’s fun.” Iruka pouted deeper.

Kakashi forcefully blinked out of his staring. “And what was Raidou doing on the floor?” It had looked painful…

“He was playing air guitar.”

“Air guitar?”

“Air guitar.”

Kakashi tried to grasp the concept but failed spectacularly. “You need to explain that to me.”

“I don’t think I want that.” Iruka glared again. “You’re not being nice, you know…”

“Please…” Kakashi made a step towards him, then remembered the paper bag in his hand. “Cherries?”, he offered hopefully.

“You’re trying to bribe me?” Iruka arched an eyebrow but his eyes were glued to the bag.

“I’m trying to placate you.” Kakashi smiled softly, knowing that it wouldn’t stop at trying.

“Hrn.” The Chuunin went over to him and snatched the bag out of his hand. “You don’t know how to play air guitar?”

“No.”

“Poor Kakashi.” Iruka gently pulled down his mask and slipped a cherry into the Jounin’s mouth. “It’s fun.”

“’m still learmim’ how to have fum”, Kakashi mumbled, chewing. “Teach me everything there is, sensei. Can I play air drums, too? Or air keyboard?”

Iruka laughed. “I’m sure you could.”

----- ----- -----

Kakashi had always thought that the deaths of those he’d allowed to come close would be the worst, the most frightening thing he’d ever seen. He’d always thought that no sight but their battered, lifeless bodies would be what would haunt and hurt him most.

He’d revised that belief the moment he’d realised that Iruka, too, was mortal. Now the thought that he could lose the Chuunin was frightening him even more, the image in his head that one day he could be kneeling next to Iruka’s dead body was even less bearable than the memories.

But that sunny day of Konoha’s autumn, that innocent, bright, perfect day, Kakashi saw something that was just as terrifying.

-----

“Iru-” Kakashi choked on his own breath and barely managed to pull his body onto the windowsill of the Chuunin’s apartment. “Iruka?” Damn, it hurt. But how could it not, when you felt your whole world crumbling, your hope dying?

“Yes?” His boyfriend looked at him from the kitchen, then jumped and immediately hurried towards him. “Kakashi! You look awful! What happened to you?”

“I… you…” The Jounin swallowed hard, painfully. “You have to… you have to leave me.” Oh, and it hurt so much.

“I have to…” Iruka’s eyes widened. “Why?”

“You… you have to…” Breathing hurt, was almost impossible. “I can’t… I can’t give you… a child…” And Iruka wanted a child, he was sure about that. And he couldn’t give birth to one. But Iruka wanted one. And that’s why he had to leave him and-

“A child? Kakashi, what are you talking about?”

-because Iruka was made for having children and for raising them. Other than him. He wasn’t good with children, especially not with small children. He would certainly squash them between his fingers, those fingers of a killer, an assassin, a-

“Kakashi?”

-so Iruka should have children, many children, and then give them all the love he had. Instead of giving it to him. It was wasted if the Chuunin gave it to him because he could never be everything that Iruka wanted, could never give him what he wanted most, not like that woman he’d seen, that pregnant woman who’d looked so happy and whose husband had looked so happy, too, and who would be able to-

“Kakashi.”

-like he never would, no matter how many jutsus he would ever copy, how famous or feared he would ever become. And that was why he had to give Iruka his freedom back and the chance to find happiness in a family although it killed him and-

“Kakashi!” And suddenly he felt hands gripping and shaking him.

“Iruka…” He didn’t know what to say anymore. He could just hope that Iruka would allow him to take a last look at him with his Sharingan eye to at least have the memory of him.

“Kakashi…” The Chuunin sighed. “You’re thinking too low of yourself again. And you’re misjudging my wishes again. And you’re…” He smiled softly. “You’re so very you again.”

“But… I can’t…”

“I have children already.” Iruka tenderly embraced him and carefully pulled at his body until he climbed down from the windowsill. “Didn’t you know that? Half of Konoha’s younger generation were my students at the Academy. They’re my children.”

“That’s not the same…” Kakashi sniffled but couldn’t restrain himself from clutching Iruka to his chest. He knew he needed this warmth desperately by now, but he was willing to let Iruka go regardless if only it made the Chuunin happy.

“They’re all the children I need. Especially Naruto.” A soft, soothing kiss was placed on his temple.

“But they’re not your own…”

“I don’t need children of my own. Naruto will always be the closest I have to a son or maybe a younger brother. And that’s all I need. If only I have you, too.” Iruka started walking backwards slowly, drawing the Jounin with him.

“But… but don’t you want…”

“I want you, Kakashi. Only you.” Iruka lifted his head until they could look at each other. “Don’t worry that I would leave you, Kakashi”, he whispered softly before he sat down on the couch behind him, his arms still around the Copy-nin’s neck. “I only want you.”

“Really?” Kakashi climbed up onto the couch and settled down in the Chuunin’s lap. It felt a little weird to sit like that but at least he could be close to Iruka. Oh, and Iruka wouldn’t be able to stand up and leave like this, even if he wanted to. Sitting in Iruka’s lap was the best kind of sitting ever!

“Yes, really.” The Chuunin smiled at him.

“Promise?”

“Yes, I promise, Kakashi.”

“Thank you…” The Jounin sighed deeply.

A chuckle. “Thank you, too.”

“We could…” Kakashi sniffled softly. “We could have… a pet…” He could stand that, he supposed. If only it made Iruka happy and stay with him.

Iruka laughed. “Oh my… Kakashi!”

“Not?” He looked up at him unsurely.

“If anything, I actually expected you to suggest adopting a child.” Iruka smirked.

The Copy-nin frowned. “Oh. I didn’t think of that…”

“Obviously.” Iruka shook his head and kissed his temple. “A pet, hm?”

“But no cat. Pakkun wouldn’t like that.” And that would turn out ugly.

“No cat, alright.” Iruka grinned. “And no dog either, I guess. Don’t want Pakkun to feel being replaced.”

“No.” Kakashi wrapped his arms around the Chuunin’s neck. “And no fishes. Fishes are boring.”

“They are.” Iruka nodded. “As are hamsters and guinea pigs and such. And I can’t really stand birds. And snakes or spiders are far, far, far out of the discussion.”

“What else then?” Mmmh… Soo nice to sit like this. He could snuggle his face into Iruka’s neck.

“I have not the slightest idea.” Two arms wrapped around his waist, holding him protectively. “But I don’t really need a pet, you know.” A snigger. “I have you.”

“That’s mean.” Kakashi pouted but refused to lift his head.

“I meant to play and spend my time with”, Iruka assured.

“Sure…” Mean Iruka. And as punishment, he would refuse to get up from his lap for the next… two hours or so. That would teach him!

----- ----- -----

“Gai.” Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Gai.”

Konoha’s beautiful Green Beast kept wailing.

“Gai.”

“I didn’t mean to do this to him…” Iruka looked shocked, sad, confused – so many things Kakashi didn’t like to see.

“It’s not your fault. He’s always like this at our non-combat challenges.”

“But… but he’s crying.” Iruka looked at Gai miserably. “If I had known that he would react like this, I would have-”

“No”, Kakashi interrupted him. “Losing on purpose would have been much worse if he ever found out.” He gently embraced his boyfriend. “It’s not your fault, he’s always this… dramatic.”

“But it’s been only a cookie-baking contest.” Iruka looked at him, his eyes wide in confusion. “And he suggested it.”

Kakashi wanted to kiss him.

“If I had known that he couldn’t really bake cookies, I would have never asked to participate.” Iruka bit his lower lip. “I just… I just wanted to be part of something you do…”

Kakashi decided that resistance was futile, if not stupid. So he kissed him.

“Marvelous Love!”

Kakashi groaned. “Back with us, Gai?”

“I am!” The Green Beast beamed at him. “And now that I see this Splendid Display of Love, I realise how unyouthful it was to mourn over a lost contest! I shall now cheer for your Magnificent Luck at finding True Love with Gentle Iruka-sensei!”

“You’re not sad anymore, Gai-sensei?”, Iruka asked, smiling softly.

“How could I be sad?! I lost to a Worthy Opponent who was Inspired by the Beauty of Love!” Gai pointed at the four cookies the Chuunin had made. “This is True Love!”

Kakashi smiled at the sight once again. Iruka had done wonders with the dough. He’d really managed to form and decorate cookies looking like Gai, Pakkun, him and the Copy-nin. And the Iruka-cookie and the Kakashi-cookie were kissing.

“You can have the cookie looking like you, Gai-sensei”, Iruka offered. “I made one for each of us since Pakkun will come over this evening.”

“I shall Honour it!” The Jounin carefully took the green cookie.

“Better eat it”, Iruka chuckled. “They’re best when still warm.”

“I will first show it to my Cute and Youthful Students!”, Gai declared. “To show them the Beauty of Love!”

“I’m sure they’ll be delighted, especially Neji-kun”, Iruka murmured softly while he watched him storm out of the apartment, then he slowly lifted the cookie-pair from the kitchen table and looked at his boyfriend. “Bite me?”, he whispered, smirking.

“You really like to bake, don’t you?”, Kakashi asked while he pulled down his mask and nibbled at the Iruka-cookie’s feet, then carefully took the double-cookie and placed it back on the table. Next to his and Gai’s pitiful attempts at baking without help.

“It’s calming.” Iruka snuggled his head into his chest. “Just as cooking. I like to work with my hands and to produce something, especially if it makes others happy.”

“Like apple pancakes?”, Kakashi tried. Because that would make him very much happy.

“You’re so greedy”, Iruka sniggered. “Wait until Pakkun’s here, then I’ll make some for both of you.”

“I think I’ll try more of the cookie then. Pity you don’t have a fireplace, by the way.”

“Hm?” Iruka frowned. “Why that?”

Kakashi held one of his very black cookies up and earned himself a laugh and a kiss and the promise of more lessons in baking.

----- ----- -----

tbc

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nayru

Teach Me To Love You, Chapter 8

2008-12-30T19:46:39Z

Title: Teach Me To Love You
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: T for now, will go up
Summary: Kakashi had never been anything else than what had been expected of him. And nobody had ever expected him to be human. So how could Iruka even want to be near him? How could he say he loved him?
Spoilers: Spoilers for Kakashi Gaiden and very slight ones for the events before the time-skip.
Status: Chapter 8 of 15(?)
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

AN:
Erm… Hi? You won’t believe it but I’m still writing. And I still plan to finish this story, I promise. My job kept me from working on it though and other things kept me occupied, too, so it took rather long for this chapter to get finished. That and I had to rewrite it a couple of times because I didn’t manage to capture the mood I wanted. But I got it now, I think. It was hard to write because I didn’t want it to become too dark, and that’s why Pakkun’s got a short appearance with Bull. But I don’t want to spoil anything.
I really, really hope that you’ll like it and please don’t be angry or disappointed if the next chapter should come late, too. I really try, I promise.
Nayru

Teach Me To Love You

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 8 – You couldn’t see it anyway.

He’d never before noticed how good Iruka smelled. Kakashi took another deep breath, his face buried in the sleeping Chuunin’s neck and hair. Like… like something sweet and something tangy at the same time. And due to his mask, he hadn’t noticed it this clearly before, not even on the pillow covers he’d lent from him. But now… now he wanted to smell it whenever he could. Whenever and wherever and-

“You’re purring”, Pakkun brutally interrupted his blissful musing.

“You were snoring right now”, Kakashi deadpanned back, glaring at his dog lying on Iruka’s stomach. Pakkun could really call himself lucky that he even allowed him to take up space near his boyfriend.

“But I wasn’t purring.” The pug made a face. “Purring.”

“Whatever.” Kakashi snuggled his face back into the wonderful, soft, perfectly smelling hair. Mrrrrrh…

----- ----- -----

“Your test results, Iruka-sensei.” Tsunade entered the room, making Kakashi hastily pull his mask back over his face and his lips away from Iruka’s. “My, my… I didn’t interrupt you, I hope?” The Sannin leered.

“Not at all”, Iruka murmured and opened his eyes, smiling softly. “Am I alright?”

“You are.” Tsunade nodded. “The poison’s completely out of your system again.”

“Good to hear.” Iruka smiled more.

“Can I take him with me now?”, Kakashi asked hopefully. He didn’t like hospitals. Hospitals meant smell of disinfectants and wounds, and the ever-present air of death.

“You can.” The Sannin suddenly grinned and winked. “Oh, and just so you know: He’s completely clean.”

“You already said that”, Kakashi reminded her. “No poison anymore.” She had to be getting old, really…

“No, I mean clean.” Tsunade’s grin grew even more lecherous. “We made a complete checkup.”

“Yes, for poison.” Kakashi frowned deeply. What was she talking about?

“Tsunade-sama is talking about… diseases”, Iruka murmured.

“Oh. That’s good.” The Jounin smiled but then frowned again. “Why is your face so red? Are you too warm? Do you want me to open the window?”

“No, I… Kakashi, I mean…” Iruka sighed, growing even redder. “Kakashi, Tsunade-sama is talking about diseases.”

“Yes?” He’d grasped that so far.

“Diseases we could infect each other with if we… come close.”

“Come close?” Kakashi thought about that, then understood. Iruka meant while kissing each other without the mask now and didn’t want to say it out loud in front of Tsunade, Lady Gossip that she was. “I understand.”

“Thank god…”, Tsunade murmured.

“I think I should get tested, too”, Kakashi decided. What if he had the flu or something and didn’t know it and then infected Iruka?

“You think you have something?”, Iruka asked softly, looking somehow… disappointed? Sad? Worried maybe?

“Don’t think so.” Kakashi smiled reassuringly, very happy that the Chuunin cared so much about him being fine. “Just to be sure.” And to make sure that he could keep kissing Iruka without his mask.

“Oh.” Iruka smiled brightly. “That’s good.”

----- ----- -----

“Kakashi?”, Iruka asked softly.

“M-hm?” He kissed him. The good way. The without-mask-way. Iruka had closed his eyes when he’d asked to be kissed and not opened them again since then.

“Could I maybe get up?”

“Mmmmh… No.” Another kiss.

“But I really would like to get up.” A smile was audible in the Chuunin’s voice and Kakashi could feel it against his lips.

“Tsunade-sama said you shouldn’t move.” Kiss.

“She said I shouldn’t move much”, Iruka corrected.

“Getting up is too much.” Kiss, kiss, kiiiiiss.

“But I really want to get up.”

“No.” Kiss. And a nuzzle. Nice.

“Kakashiiii…”

“No.” He kissed him once again and tightened his hold around his waist. He would so not let him get up, no way. Now that he had the Chuunin back in his apartment and knew how good it was to lie in bed with Iruka and kiss him, he would probably refuse to get up ever again.

“Kakashi, I want to take a shower.”

He sniffed. “Not necessary yet.” And then he kissed him once again.

Iruka laughed. “But it’s necessary that I use the toilet soon.”

“Mrmph.” Kakashi pouted.

“I promise I’ll take a very quick shower.”

“Very, very quick.” He sighed. “But not too quick.” He gently stroked over the Chuunin’s still bandaged chest. “Don’t tear your stitches.”

“I’ll be careful.” Iruka nuzzled his nose against the Jounin’s blindly. “What about you make some lunch while I’m in the bathroom? Or should I say ‘dinner’ already?”

“Lunch still. But I’m not very good at cooking”, Kakashi murmured while he slowly pulled up his mask. Then he pulled it down and kissed Iruka once again before he reluctantly pulled it over his face. He kissed Iruka with his lips covered to indicate that he could open his eyes.

“I’m sure you can make something I’ll like.” Iruka slowly opened his eyes and smiled. “I’m not very picky.”

“I can make rice”, Kakashi offered. Rice was good shinobi food – easy to make and to transport, nutritious, filling. He was good at cooking rice. Nobody could beat him at that, to be precise.

“With chicken? There should be some in the freezer.”

“I can do that.” Chicken was easy.

“That would be nice.” Iruka nuzzled his face into the Jounin’s clothed neck. “And I can make apple pancakes for dessert if you want.”

“Better not”, Kakashi decided sadly. “You should better rest.” He would have liked apple pancakes very, very much, but it was more important that Iruka got much rest. Poor him.

“You give away a chance to get apple pancakes?”, Iruka asked incredulously and grinned. “Wow… I feel really special now.”

“You are special”, Kakashi said softly.

“Kakashi…” Iruka blushed a little, much to the Jounin’s delight.

“Very special.” Kakashi tenderly nuzzled his ear.

-----

“That’s good”, Iruka mumbled with his mouth full of rice. “You’re a good cook.” He grinned. “But I like you even more as my nurse, you know.”

“Then why do you refuse to go back to bed?”, Kakashi asked grumpily. Table was bad. Bed was nice. Iruka in bed and kissing him was very nice.

“I can’t lie in bed anymore. I have to sit and walk a little.” Iruka grinned. “My butt was so numb. But I’ll go back into bed after we’ve finished eating, I promise.”

“Alright.” Kakashi nodded, satisfied with that, then waited until the Chuunin was looking down at his food to pull down his mask, wolf down half of his rice and pull the cloth back in place, chewing. When he looked at Iruka again, he noticed that he hadn’t even moved his head the slightest.

Iruka wanted to see his face, Kakashi knew that. But, unlike everybody else the Copy-nin knew, he hadn’t tried to sneak a peek once, even though there had been plenty of opportunities. He doubted that Iruka would have succeeded, but he hadn’t even tried. And then his question in the hospital. Iruka had only asked, not pleaded or demanded. Only asked if he would show him his face. And then he had not been reproachful or angry when he had denied. He had just accepted it.

Kakashi had never experienced something like this ever before. Everybody he knew had tried to take a look at his face at one moment or the other. Everybody had tried to trick him in some way or to surprise him or to accomplish it by force. Nobody had ever asked if he was alright with showing his face and at the same time been willing to accept any decision. Nobody had ever cared what he felt about showing his face.

Only Iruka. Only Iruka was accepting, caring, loving even, and never reproachful or demanding. Maybe… maybe he could even be understanding? Could even see his failures and then not be disgusted of him, not despise him for them?

Kakashi shook his head. That was impossible. Not even somebody as gentle, as caring, as… good as Iruka would be able to not despise him for what he’d done wrong in his life. And there was also his heritage. Iruka would be remembered of it and then despise him even more if he ever saw his face. And then he wouldn’t want to see it ever again and would leave him, and he would be alone again and never become human and-

“Hey.”

“Hm?” He looked up at Iruka smiling at him.

“Whatever you’re thinking about, stop looking so defeated”, Iruka said gently. “Please smile for me.”

“You couldn’t see it anyway”, Kakashi murmured. And he couldn’t show him.

“I can.” Iruka reached out with his hand and placed his index finger on his right cheek. “Whenever you smile, I can see your lips move under your mask.” He trailed his fingertip over them and back. “And I can see it in your eye, too.” The finger travelled to the Jounin’s temple. “I can see little crinkles when you smile here. And I always can hardly restrain myself from kissing them.”

“I didn’t know that”, Kakashi whispered. He couldn’t remember ever seeing himself smile, not even on photographs with his former team-mates. Maybe he had done it while he’d had his own Genin-team, but that was gone now and he couldn’t bring himself to look at the pictures long enough to make out his expression. He only ever looked at Naruto and Sakura, at the only two students he hadn’t failed completely.

“I love it when you smile”, Iruka told him gently, shaking him out of his memories.

“Really?”

“Yes. It makes me happy to see you happy, Kakashi. Because I love you.” Iruka smiled at him softly, then took back his hand and turned his attention towards his food again.

Kakashi stared down at the rest of his rice. Iruka was always so understanding, so warm and gentle. He knew that if anybody could still love him despite having seen his face, then it would be Iruka, but… but how likely was that? Wasn’t it much likelier that Iruka would leave him? And could he take the risk that that happened?

No, he couldn’t, Kakashi knew that. He couldn’t risk to lose Iruka. But maybe he had to. Maybe he had to take the risk, for the sake of the Chuunin. Iruka didn’t know what he was getting himself into, wanting to be with someone like him. Iruka didn’t know about what he’d done, about what failures he’d made. And Iruka had the right to know it, even if it meant that he would risk to lose him.

He just didn’t know if he could just tell Iruka to look up and then pull down his mask. Because that… because that would mean to willingly take the risk, to run into his loss with his eyes wide open. And he didn’t know if he was strong enough to do that.

Kakashi looked up and watched the Chuunin in front of him eat his lunch without looking up. Iruka completely kept his eyes on his plate, even when he reached out and took his glass of water to take a sip. He wouldn’t look up until after he would have finished his food, knowing that Kakashi would have finished long before him. He would even tap with his finger onto the table once to warn him.

Kakashi watched him for a long time, then made a decision. He wouldn’t show his face to Iruka. He would just let him see it.

Looking back down on his own food, he felt his heart pound painfully in his chest while he pulled down his mask again. With trembling fingers he took his chopsticks, then started to slowly eat his rice in small bites, not tasting any of it. Like this, Iruka would be finished before him, then look up and then see him. And then he would see that he had been wrong to ever only think about loving him. And then ask him to leave. And he would be able to tell himself that it hadn’t been because of his face, just because the Chuunin had changed his mind suddenly, and it wouldn’t hurt so much. Or so he hoped at least.

Kakashi closed his eyes when he saw that Iruka laid down his chopsticks. He swallowed hard and steeled himself for the rejection when he heard the tap of a fingertip on the wood of the table.

“Kakashi?”, he heard the Chuunin’s soft voice.

“Y-yes?” It wouldn’t take long anymore, and then everything would be over. And then he would become a machine again, and then fade away eventually. But at least Iruka would be able to find someone better and be happy.

“I don’t know why you decided to let me see your face just now”, Iruka told him, “but I can tell that you don’t want me to look at you.”

“Wh-what?”, Kakashi choked out.

“I can tell that your hands are shaking because I can hear your chopsticks clink against your plate.” One of the Chuunin’s hands came in sight and took Kakashi’s holding the sticks. “Please don’t do this. Please don’t force yourself.”

“But…” He swallowed hard. “But I-”

“Shh”, Iruka silenced him softly. “Look at me.”

Kakashi took a deep breath and slowly lifted his head. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want Iruka to reject him. He wanted to pull his mask back in place and pretend that nothing had ever happened. He wanted-

He gasped in surprise when he saw that Iruka’s eyes were closed.

“I won’t look at you”, the Chuunin told him. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

Kakashi felt his hands shake even more. “But you-”

“I want to see your face.” Iruka smiled softly and got up from his chair, then leaned forwards over the table. “I would lie if I told you I wouldn’t.” He lifted his hand not holding the Copy-nin’s and slowly, carefully felt for his face, placing it on his cheek. “But I want you to want to show me, do you understand? I want you to want me to see you, Kakashi.” He tilted his head and kissed him sweetly.

“But I want you to”, Kakashi forced out.

“I don’t think so.” Iruka smiled. “And I don’t know why you’re afraid of it, but I know that one day you will trust me enough to show me.” And with that, he straightened up, turned around and walked into the bedroom.

Kakashi just sat there, unmoving, with shaking hands and another, a new pain in his chest. It was less fierce than fear and almost welcome. He wasn’t sure, but maybe it was hope.

----- ----- -----

“Thank you”, Kakashi shouted after the messenger, then closed the door to Iruka’s apartment again. “Iruka, my test results are here. Tsunade says I’m completely fine and clean.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear.” Iruka got up from the couch and slowly walked towards him. “Now I can be sure that you can play my nurse until I’m fine again.”

“Right.” Kakashi grinned, embraced him and gave him a masked kiss, eyeing the paper with the results over his shoulder. “She even tested for sexually transmitted diseases. She could have just asked and I would have told her there are none and- Iruka? Iruka, is everything alright? Why are you coughing so hard? Or are you laughing? Iruka?”

----- ----- -----

“Here’s what you wanted, boss.” Pakkun placed a small bag on the kitchen counter, his brother Bull a bigger one. “We even got the cherries for your boyfriend.”

“Thank you.” Kakashi looked them over. “You’re dripping wet.”

“Well…” Pakkun scowled at him. “It’s pissing outside.”

“Make sure you don’t get sick, okay?”, Iruka said softly, walking into the kitchen. “Thank you very much.” He scratched Bull behind his left ear and the big bulldog barked happily.

“No prob. I never get sick.” Pakkun shrugged, then sneezed.

----- ----- -----

“Hey.” Kakashi gently tapped one of his fingers on Iruka’s stomach. The Chuunin was sitting in front of him on the bed, leaning with his back against his chest. He liked to sit like this. He could hold Iruka close and even bury his face in the Chuunin’s soft hair.

“Hm?” Iruka didn’t open his eyes nor moved much, just turned his head on his shoulder to blindly nuzzle his nose against the Copy-nin’s bare cheek. That was another reason why Kakashi liked to sit with him like this. He could leave his mask off and Iruka didn’t have to have his eyes closed all the time.

“Are you happy to see your students tomorrow?”

“M-hm.” Iruka sighed. “They’re quite a handful, but I miss them still.”

“Are you sure that you’re fit enough already?”

“Of course. I had the best nurse in town.” Iruka grinned. “I’ll miss all this time for cuddling with you though.”

“Mmh… Me too.” Cuddling with Iruka was so, so good. And kissing was even better.

“And for kissing”, Iruka seemed to read his thoughts, then shifted, eyes still closed, until he kneeled in front of the Jounin. “Kiss?”

“Mmmh… Please don’t mind if I do”, Kakashi chuckled. He placed one hand on his cheek and leaned forward to kiss him, but then stopped.

So much trust… Iruka always closed his eyes for him, to make him feel comfortable. He always trusted him and never asked for anything in return. He trusted completely, so completely. And he? He was afraid to give this trust back. He was afraid that Iruka would reject him. He was too afraid to even give Iruka a chance. He didn’t deserve the trust he was given.

“Hey, what are you waiting for?”, Iruka asked.

But he wanted to deserve this trust. He wanted to earn it for himself. He wanted Iruka to know that he was right to trust him. And he could only do that by trusting him. By trusting the Chuunin’s love for him.

“Kakashi?”

“Iruka, please…” He took a deep breath. “Please open your eyes.”

“Open…” Iruka gasped softly. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Kakashi nodded and removed his hitai-ate but kept his Sharingan eye closed. He wanted Iruka to see everything. He was sure, this time he was. He wanted to trust Iruka to still love him despite his failures marking him.

“Kakashi, you don’t have to.”

“I want. I want to show you.” He knew now that he had to, that he could and that he wanted it. To earn himself Iruka’s trust. To make himself worth it.

For a moment, Iruka seemed to hesitate, but then Kakashi could see how his eyelids started to slowly, carefully open, giving him enough time to back out again. But he wouldn’t. This time he would trust completely.

When Iruka’s eyes finally opened all the way, Kakashi held his breath. He could see how the Chuunin first took in all of his face, then moved his gaze to the vertical scar over his closed left eye, then to the one following the line of his jaw on the right side of his face until he finally took in the scar from his right nostril to the left side of his chin, splitting his lips.

While the seconds passed, Iruka just kept looking, his gaze moving from scars to nose, forehead, cheeks and back again, and Kakashi felt dread build inside himself, along with something even worse: the certainty that Iruka would reject him. He could see it in his eyes, the pain and the sadness there telling him that the Chuunin was just realising what a big mistake he’d made by choosing him. Now that Iruka saw what shame and guilt he was carrying with him, he also saw how very wrong he had been to give his trust and his love to someone like him.

And he had been so wrong, too. How could he ever even have dared to think that he could be loved? How could he have dared to think that anybody would want him? How could he have dared to try to forget his shame, his guilt, his failures?

So, when Iruka slowly lifted his right hand and reached out to touch the scar over his left eye, Kakashi leaned his head back.

“You don’t want to touch that”, he told the Chuunin bitterly. Nobody could want that, nobody could want him.

“I’m sorry”, Iruka whispered.

“It’s alright.” Kakashi looked away, trying to hide that his world was crumbling. It wasn’t Iruka’s fault that he couldn’t love him anymore.

“I’m so sorry that you had to endure so much pain.” The Chuunin’s voice was trembling. “I wish I could have helped you.”

Kakashi’s eye widened.

“I hate whoever did that to you”, Iruka choked out. “Who made you want to hide yourself. I know it’s stupid, but… I still hate them… so much…”

Kakashi turned around to look at him and felt his chest clench painfully when he noticed tears trailing down Iruka’s cheeks. And Iruka was crying for him. For him! Because he had been hurt.

But he was wrong to do that.

“You don’t understand”, Kakashi whispered. “Iruka, look at me.”

“I see you.” Iruka smiled sadly and once again lifted his hand, and this time the Jounin didn’t evade the touch. He traced the scar over his eye, Obito’s scar, then the one on his lips where Rin’s death was carved into his face, and finally his sensei’s scar on his cheek. And then there was his face.

“You don’t look”, Kakashi told him bitterly. “Else you would see that you can’t love me.”

“Why do you say that?” More tears came to Iruka’s eyes. “Why shouldn’t I love you?”

“Because I am not worth you!”, Kakashi shouted. “I don’t deserve your trust, just like I didn’t deserve theirs! Look at me, Iruka! Can’t you see that it’s his face?!” There, now Iruka would understand. He would remember and then tell him what everybody else had always told him. That he had his face. That he looked just like him. That he was carrying his shame.

“Whose face?”, Iruka asked softly. “Kakashi, I don’t understand you.”

“Can’t you see?”, the Jounin whispered, loathing himself for the broken edge in his voice. “That I look like him? That I have my father’s face?” Hatake Sakumo. Hero. Legend. Idol. Coward. Failure. Shame.

“Why do you say that?”, Iruka whispered. “And how should I know? I don’t know him.”

“You don’t have to know him.” Kakashi shook his head. “And don’t try to tell me that you don’t know what he did. Everybody knows.” Everybody, everybody knew. They knew that Hatake Sakumo had willingly failed an important mission to safe himself and his comrades and then had committed suicide to flee from his shame and guilt. And everybody knew that a seven-years-old Kakashi had found him, lying in his blood with the blade still in his chest.

“I know what he did, Kakashi.” Iruka stroked over his cheek, making him flinch. “But I don’t understand why that should affect you.”

“I’m his son”, Kakashi spat out bitterly. “I’m his son.”

“And that’s it? He made a mistake and it’s automatically also your fault because you’re his son?” Iruka’s voice was hard suddenly, hard and cold and angry.

“I look like him, exactly like him. You can’t look at me without seeing his shame. My shame.” And now Iruka was starting to understand finally, and he would soon tell him to leave with that hard voice, and never talk to him with any other again.

“I take it that it’s Naruto’s fault that he carries the Kyuubi then”, Iruka said icily. “And that he’s responsible for every life the Nine-tails took. Including my parents.”

“I didn’t say that.” Why was Iruka talking like that now? Why wasn’t he telling him to leave?

“You didn’t? Where’s the difference between that and what you said then?”

“Naruto didn’t do anything. He was just a kid when Kyuubi attacked the village. He didn’t decide to get the demon sealed into his body.”

“And you did something, you pierced the blade into your father’s chest. You weren’t just a kid when he died. You decided to look like him and that he should abandon the mission. Do you want to tell me that?”

“That’s not the same.”

“Where’s the difference? It’s not Naruto’s fault and it is not your fault either to be who you are.”

“That’s not the same!”, Kakashi shouted. There was a difference, there… there had to be. Because Naruto was innocent, as innocent as a shinobi could be, whereas he… he…

“It’s not your fault!”

“I’m his son!”, Kakashi yelled. “I’m his son! Understand it finally, Iruka! I have his face and you can’t love m-”

Slap!

He fell silent immediately when suddenly a sharp pain pierced through his left cheek.

“You know”, Iruka told him calmly, “I’m starting to think that maybe it was wrong to fall in love with you.”

Kakashi snorted. He’d known that from the beginning, had only been stupid enough to try to fool himself.

“I always thought you were a genius. That’s not why I fell for you, but it’s what I thought of you.” Iruka crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’m beginning to doubt that, too.”

“Whatever.” Kakashi moved to get off the bed and out, just away from his shattered hopes.

“I’m beginning to doubt that you’re brave, too. I’m even beginning to doubt that you have the right to call yourself a shinobi.”

Kakashi froze, half out of the door. “Stop it.” He was shinobi, the perfect shinobi even. Because he wasn’t human.

“Why should I?”, Iruka asked coldly. “You’re running away, so all I see in front of me is a pathetic, weak, stupid, cowa-” He broke off when Kakashi suddenly gripped his throat.

“Stop. It”, he commanded. Being shinobi was all he had, now that he’d lost Iruka. He couldn’t let that be taken from him, too. And Iruka could take it from him, simply because he was all that mattered.

“I thought… you were what I saw in you…”, Iruka croaked nevertheless, still glaring. “I knew you were hurt in some… way, but I never thought you… would be stupid enough to… hurt yourself…”

“Stop it!”, Kakashi yelled. “Stop it, Iruka!” He wasn’t hurting himself, he wasn’t. He was carrying the shame because he had to, because-

“You were a child”, the Chuunin continued, the look in his eyes softening. “You couldn’t stop… your father… or help him… It wasn’t right to shun you… or blame you… for what he did… It wasn’t… your fault…”

“Stop it! Stop it, stop it, stop it!” It was his fault, entirely his fault!

“It wasn’t your… fault, Kakashi… I won’t accept that… not even from you… and I won’t stop-”

“Stopitstopitstopit!” Kakashi felt his grip tighten. Why didn’t Iruka understand? Everybody else understood, they had understood even before he himself had, so why didn’t Iruka? Why did he refuse to accept it?

“I won’t… stop to… love you…”, Iruka gasped, barely audible, while tears were falling from his eyes. “I wo… I… love you… Kakashi…”

“Stop it!” Kakashi shook his head, his whole body trembling. “Stop it. Stop it. Please…” It hurt, it hurt so much.

“Love you… Kakashi… please… let me… love you…”

“Stop it…”, Kakashi pleaded and let go, his body suddenly losing all strength. “Please… please…” He curled into a ball and started to tremble violently, feeling something wet on his face. “Please…”

“Shh…” And then there were hands, soothingly stroking his back and hair, and warmth brought by them while he was freezing, and Iruka… Iruka was there, still there, and it hurt, hurt so much, and still felt so good, so safe, so warm.

He didn’t know how long he had been lying there when he felt that he was lifted and then arms wrapping around him. And then Iruka was all around him, his warmth and his scent and his love, and he felt himself tremble even more and hurt and gasp until he was too exhausted to even do that.

“Shh…”, Iruka whispered. “I’m here. I’ll hold you, Kakashi.”

“P-please…”, the Jounin breathed out. “Please… it h-hurts…” All those years it had hurt so much, so very much, all those looks and those whispers. He had told himself that he wouldn’t care but he’d been lying, and now it was too much, suddenly too much, because Iruka cared and that made it worse, so much worse and so much better at the same time and he didn’t understand it.

“It will be better soon”, Iruka promised. “Let it out now, Kakashi.”

“I… I don’t…” He took a gasping, painful breath. “Why did he leave me? I had only him and… I was so alone, so alone…” And he’d always admired his father, had always wanted to be like him, a perfect shinobi like him, and then suddenly everything had changed and he hadn’t understood why everybody had hated him suddenly and-

“I’m with you now.” Iruka kissed his temple. “You’re not alone anymore.”

“I don’t want to be alone”, Kakashi sobbed. “I didn’t know what to do… Nobody was there for me… They all looked at me… and saw only him… and what he did… I didn’t know what to do… I didn’t know what… what I did wrong… why they hated me… I didn’t know…”

“They were wrong to see him in you”, Iruka whispered. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong, Kakashi.”

“I… I tried to save him… I tried… but he was so cold already… and I felt so cold… so cold… s-so cold…” And it had never left again, that coldness, it had stayed with and around and inside him and suffocated everything else until he had felt like ice and stone and steel and nothing else.

“Shh… I’ll warm you.” Iruka started to rock him gently.

“Don’t… don’t leave…”, Kakashi pleaded desperately and turned in his arms to clutch the Chuunin to him with shaking hands. “Don’t leave me.” He didn’t understand it, didn’t understand anything anymore, it seemed, only that he needed Iruka, that he would break beyond repair if the Chuunin left him now.

“I won’t, Kakashi.”

“Don’t leave me…” Like his father had left him, willingly left him and not thought about what he was doing to him with it and that he would give his son over to that coldness without any idea how to stop it or how to escape or how to become human again or-

“I won’t leave you.”

“You won’t… leave me”, Kakashi repeated, feeling the trembling lessen slowly.

“I won’t leave you, Kakashi.”

“No. You won’t leave me.” He took a deep breath, then another. “My face’s wet”, he whispered.

“You’re crying”, Iruka told him softly.

“I can’t cry.” He had forgotten how so long ago, had probably never known it. Obito’s eye sometimes cried, but this felt different.

“You’re crying, Kakashi.” Iruka kissed his temple. “Humans cry when they’re hurt. I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

“You hurt me?”, Kakashi asked weakly.

“By saying those things to you. By forcing you to remember. I’m sorry.”

“M-mh.” Kakashi shook his head. Iruka shouldn’t be sorry, he didn’t have to be. Iruka hadn’t wanted to hurt him, he knew that for sure. Even if he didn’t know anything anymore, he knew that.

“I had no right to do that only because I was angry at you”, Iruka whispered. “I had no right to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“No.” Kakashi shook his head harder. “No.”

“Please forgive me”, Iruka whispered still. “I love you.”

“Forgive you”, Kakashi whispered back although there was nothing to forgive. He shifted and pressed his face into the Chuunin’s neck, trying to soothe himself by breathing in his calming scent.

“Thank you.” Iruka stroked his cheek. “I love you. I love you more than I can tell you.”

“Want that”, Kakashi whispered. “Want to love you.” He opened his right eye slowly but then caught sight of angry red marks on the skin of the Chuunin’s neck, already turning purple, and suddenly hurt so much that he started shaking again.

“Hey…”, Iruka murmured soothingly. “Everything’s fine. I’m here, Kakashi.”

“I hurt you”, the Jounin choked out. “I hurt you.” How could he have done that?! How could he have hurt Iruka?!

“But only because I hurt you. I don’t blame you.”

“I hurt you.” Kakashi shook from despise at himself. “I hurt you, Iruka.”

“They will vanish again”, the Chuunin told him softly. “And I know you didn’t do it intentionally.”

“I didn’t want that”, Kakashi whispered. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Iruka.”

“I know.” Iruka gently lifted his head up. “I know, Kakashi. I don’t blame you.” He tilted his head and kissed him sweetly.

“Do you still love me?”, Kakashi asked. He didn’t know what he would do if not, he didn’t know how he would be able to live on or even only exist. Not after Iruka had decided to love him despite his past.

“Yes, I still love you.” Iruka kissed him once again. “And I love your face. Your face.” He kissed each of his eyelids, his nose, cheeks, forehead and finally his lips. Then he pressed his lips on his scars, tracing them with featherlike kisses.

“Don’t”, Kakashi whispered. Iruka shouldn’t touch them. They were remains of his failures, of the moments he’d failed to be worth the trust set into him.

“I also love your scars”, Iruka whispered.

“Don’t”, Kakashi repeated. “They’re… I let them down…”

“I can’t not love your scars. They’re a part of you.” Iruka kissed his lips. “I already loved this one before I even saw it. I could feel it when you were kissing me.”

“I couldn’t save her”, Kakashi whispered. “Don’t want… to think about it…” He felt so weak, so exhausted now. He didn’t want to think anymore. If Iruka was with him, then everything was good, and he didn’t want to think about anything else than about Iruka.

“You don’t have to.” Iruka kissed him again. “Just know that I love you, your face and your scars regardless of how you got them.” And then he carefully laid the unmoving Jounin down on the bed.

“Don’t…” Kakashi weakly grabbed him by his shirt. “Don’t leave…”

“I won’t.” Iruka lay down beside him and wrapped his arms around him. “I will stay here with you, Kakashi.” And then he started humming the melody of the lullaby the Jounin had learned to like so much.

“With me…” Kakashi felt his eyes close, but it was alright. Iruka would stay.

----- ----- -----

tbc

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

See you all next year then!

Nayru

Merry Christmas! (not just yet)

2008-12-23T08:58:22Z

Hey everybody! (In case anyone's still watching out for me...)

I haven't lost interest in LJ, as you see. I only have a new job which takes my time from eight a.m. till at least seven p.m. five days a week, so I didn't really find time to write and post anything. (I'm stealing some time right now, let's hope nobody notices... Oh, and the files are piling, gosh...)
I did, though, find the time last weekend and I am (rather) sure that I'll be able to post chapter 8 of Teach Me To Love You today or tomorrow, so please take it as an early Christmas present and a late apology for letting you wait for so long.
So I will not wish you a merry Christmas just now but better wait until I have my present ready, too. ;-)
Thank you for your patience.

Nayru

Teach Me To Love You, Chapter 7

2008-09-13T15:50:04Z

Title: Teach Me To Love You
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: M
Summary: Kakashi had never been anything else than what had been expected of him. And nobody had ever expected him to be human. So how could Iruka even want to be near him? How could he say he loved him?
Spoilers: Spoilers for Kakashi Gaiden and very slight ones for the events before the time-skip.
Status: Chapter 7 of 15(?)
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

AN:
My job’s hell right now and I haven’t had a single free day since March. It’s a wonder I actually managed to write something, so please be patient with me if I’m not as fast as you and me want me to. I hope you like the chapter because I certainly do.

Teach Me To Love You

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 7 – I’m so stupid.

“Are you sure?” Tsunade arched an eyebrow.

“Absolutely.” Kakashi did his best not to fidget.

“Nothing out of the ordinary happened between you, Iruka-sensei and Ebisu-sensei two days ago in the mission room?”

“Can’t think of anything.” It wasn’t really so very out of the ordinary for him to protect his boyfriend from somebody, was it? He was Iruka’s boyfriend, he was, yes, he was supposed to protect him.

“And nothing out of the ordinary happened to Ebisu-sensei’s apartment?”

“No idea.” And he was supposed to help his boyfriend wrack that bastard’s apartment, he really was. As his boyfriend he was supposed to help Iruka whenever he could.

“And to his right eye?”

“Don’t know anything.” And he was also supposed to make sure Ebisu couldn’t dare to look at Iruka ever again, he so was. Even if it only was by causing his eye to swell closed.

The Sannin sighed and shook her head. “Leave him alone now, will you? I don’t know why and I even don’t want to know, but he’s freaking out whenever he sees a dog.”

Yes, because Pakkun was supposed to help, too.

----- ----- -----

“And you’re sure that it’s supposed to go like this?”, Kakashi asked for about the hundredth time. But he had to be absolutely sure.

“Yes, believe me.” Raidou shook his head but grinned. “It’s like that.”

“Okay…”

-----

“Iruka?”

“M-hm?” The Chuunin didn’t look up from his grading.

“Wannagooutwithme?”, Kakashi murmured.

“I’m sorry?” Iruka took a new test.

“Want to go out with me?”, the Copy-nin tried again, slower this time.

“Go out?” Iruka looked up at him. “You mean, as in a date?”

“Yes?” He could feel a slight blush on his cheeks.

“Oh. Sure.” Iruka smiled. “Tonight?”

“Yes.” Kakashi smiled back. Good, this was at least going as planned.

“Alright.” The Chuunin went back to grading. “I’ll just finish these, then we can go if you want.”

“Okay.” Kakashi carefully took out the already crumpled piece of paper in his pocket and crossed out ‘1. Ask Iruka out’. That had been easy.

-----

“Where are you taking me?” Iruka stretched and sighed. “I’m starving.”

Kakashi jumped. “Erm… I… Wait a moment, okay?” He hastily ran into the bathroom and closed the door behind himself, then took a look at his list.

‘2. Make him compliments’, it said.

Kakashi cringed. He’d forgotten that! Oh, and the last time he’d tried, it hadn’t really worked. Maybe he could skip that? Or was it important? Or not? He would just have to wait and see…

‘3. Take him out to ‘Le Ciel’, your table is reserved for 7:30 p.m.’, the list told him. And then the address. And then, ‘Don’t be late!’

Kakashi sighed in relief. Anko had told him that ‘Le Ciel’ was the newest, fanciest and most romantic restaurant in town, whatever that meant. And the most expensive, she’d said, but he had enough money to take Iruka there every evening for the next twelve years probably. Shinobi didn’t need much money.

“Kakashi?”, Iruka’s soft voice rang to him from the other side of the door. “Don’t you feel good?”

“I’m fine!” The Jounin hastily put back the list again and opened the door. “I’m taking you to ‘Le Ciel’”, he told his boyfriend.

“‘Le Ciel’?!”, Iruka gasped. “But… Kakashi, that’s too expensive!”

“But I want to take you there.” Kakashi nodded and in the last moment decided against saying, ‘the best is only barely good enough for you’. It would have been perfectly true, but it somehow sounded weird.

“Kakashi, you don’t have to. We can go for ramen or something.”

“But I want”, the Jounin insisted. “I’m taking you out and that’s why I can decide where we go.” He wasn’t entirely sure whether that was true, but he would just insist on it.

“But…” Iruka sighed, shook his head and finally smiled softly. “Alright, if you really want it. But in that case I need to change first.”

“Why?” Kakashi frowned.

Iruka laughed softly. “Kakashi, I don’t think they will let us wander into that kind of restaurant with our uniforms.”

“Not?” Kakashi frowned deeper. Why not?

“I’m afraid not.” Iruka smiled. “Shall I lend you something? I think you might fit into my clothes well enough to make you look presentable.”

-----

Kakashi didn’t like his new… outfit.

The black pants… well, they were okay, he could wear his kunai holsters on his calves without being noticed. And there was enough space around his waist for some small shuriken and senbon and an emergency first aid kit.

The shirt was kind of alright, too. It was loose enough for hiding a chest belt with more senbon and tight enough not to let him look as if he was hiding a chest belt with more senbon. But it was so thin and didn’t offer any protection against blows and blades like his vest, not even when he wore that black jacket over it. But he had to admit that the shirt’s colour was nice – a deep red, but not like blood, more like grape juice maybe.

“Ready to go?”

Kakashi turned around and took in the sight of his date. Iruka was wearing smooth, cream-coloured pants that hung loosely around his legs without looking baggy, and a shirt in the same colour. The clothes looked nice in contrast to his tanned skin, and around his waist he wore a long scarf or something that matched the colour of Kakashi’s shirt and hung down his left hip to his knee. And he wore his hair open.

“You look good”, Iruka said softly. “I’ve never looked so good in that shirt.”

“You have your hair open.” Kakashi walked over to him and took some strands. “I like how you look. And I like your clothes, too”, he added as an afterthought.

“Oh. Thank you.” Iruka smiled, blushing a little bit.

“Shall we go then?” Kakashi beamed at him. Hey, now he’d even done the compliment thing!

-----

“I think I will skip the starters”, Iruka said softly. “The main courses here sound so delicious, I can’t wait to taste one.”

“M-hm…” Kakashi looked from the window on his left to the kitchen door on his right to the door of the restaurant somewhere behind Iruka. He was just relieved that he had at least a wall at his back.

“I think I know what I’ll take.” From the corner of his eye, Kakashi saw Iruka smile up at the waitress.

“Yes, Sir?”, the woman asked eagerly.

Kakashi scowled. That was another thing bothering him. Not only that waitress but also two more and one waiter were always looking at Iruka. Always. He didn’t like that. Iruka was here with him and they didn’t have to look at him that often! Or ever! Or-

“I would like a new table”, Iruka said softly. “Somewhere in a corner and without a window near so my date can relax a little more.” His smile became even sweeter. “And then I would like salmon with cream spinach and chili noodles as main course, and white mousse au chocolat for dessert.”

“Very well, Sir”, the waitress told him with a smile that had frozen the moment the Chuunin had said the word ‘date’. “I will immediately look for a new table for you and then give your order to the kitchen. And for you, Sir?”, she asked Kakashi.

“Oh. I…” The Jounin looked down at the menu in his hands for the first time. “I’ll…” What should he choose? He didn’t even know half of the things there!

“What about a steak?” Iruka smiled at him and pointed at the menu in his hands. “Maybe this one here, with assorted mushrooms and rosemary potatoes? Oh, and look, they have apple pancakes for dessert.”

“Sounds good.” Kakashi smiled back. Trust Iruka to be considerate and help him. And… apple pancakes!

“Oh, and can we get just water to the food?”, Iruka asked the waitress. “We don’t drink alcohol.”

“Of course, Sir.” She nodded, took the menus and left. When she passed one of her colleagues, Kakashi’s ears could hear her growl, “They’re on a date.”

“Damn…” Her colleague sighed. “It’s always the hot ones.”

“Damn indeed.” The waitress went further towards the reception desk.

Iruka sniggered softly.

-----

“Wow, this was delicious”, Iruka sighed. “Yours too?”

“Yes.” Kakashi smiled at him. He felt so much better now, sitting at their new table with his back towards a corner and no window near. Granted, there was still the open room behind Iruka’s back, but with the guests all seated and eating and only the waiters moving around, it was easy to make out any danger. And in that case he would just grab Iruka’s ankles and drag him under the table and then defend him an-

“Would you like your desserts now?”, a young waiter asked and took away their empty plates.

“Yes, thank you”, Iruka answered while Kakashi only glared at the man who had somehow swapped places with the waitress from before and was now staring at Iruka, at his date Iruka all the time.

“Don’t be so grumpy”, the Chuunin laughed softly, reached over the table and took his hand gently. “You’ll get apple pancakes now.”

Kakashi couldn’t help but smile at that. “Okay…”

“Your desserts, Sirs.” The waiter placed a plate with a white, foamy mousse in front of Iruka and one with three small pancakes in front of Kakashi.

“They’re small”, the Copy-nin observed, frowning. “And what’s that white and red… stuff?”

“That’s powdered sugar and I guess that’s raspberry or maybe strawberry purée”, Iruka told him softly. “And I’m sure that they’ll be big enough, seeing how big your steak was.”

“Hrm.” Kakashi eyed his dessert more closely. Apple pancakes could never be big enough. “And what’s there in them?”

“Where?” Iruka craned his head. “Oh, that’s the apples. They’re in slices in the dough.”

“Why?” Kakashi frowned. “They’re never like that in your apple pancakes.”

“Because I grate the apples and mix them with the dough.” Iruka chuckled. “But there’s no rule that it has to be done like that.”

“Are you sure?” There probably should be.

“Just try them.” The Chuunin laughed softly. “I’m sure you’ll like them.”

“If you say so…” Still doubtful about those… rather suspicious things that pretended to be apple pancakes, Kakashi took his small probably-for-dessert fork and carefully separated a small piece of one of the pancakes, impaled it and eyed it closely.

“It won’t explode”, Iruka promised while he took a small spoonful of his mousse. “Mmmh…”, he sighed. “This is delicious…”

A little more convinced that the pancakes could indeed taste good, Kakashi quickly pulled down his mask, shoved the small piece into his mouth and pulled the mask up again, then started chewing carefully and-

“Blergh!” He jumped up from his chair, barely restrained himself from yanking down his mask and spitting that disgusting piece of food out and instead swallowed quickly.

“Kakashi!” Iruka stared at him wide-eyed, just as every other person in the restaurant. “What’s wrong?!”

“They’re disgusting!” Kakashi shook his head, wishing he could drink something to get the remaining taste out of his mouth.

“They can’t be.” Iruka reached out over the table, took the Jounin’s fork and used it to take another small piece of pancake.

“Don’t eat that!” Kakashi grabbed his wrist before the Chuunin could move the fork to his mouth. Iruka shouldn’t eat something like this!

“Sir.” An important-looking man they’d seen at the reception desk before came towards them. “Sir, please tell me what is wrong.”

“The pancakes!” Kakashi whirled around to glare at him. “They’re disgusting!”

“Kakashi.” Iruka gently took his hand. “They’re not. They taste very good.”

“You ate from them?!” The Jounin stared at his boyfriend. “You shouldn’t have!”

“But Kakashi.” Iruka tugged at his arm until the enraged Copy-nin sat down again. “Kakashi, there’s nothing wrong with them.”

“There is!”

“What is it then?”, Iruka sighed.

“They… they…” Kakashi growled. “The apples aren’t grated and there’s too much sugar in them and they’re not brown enough and they’re too firm and what’s with that powdered sugar and that raspberry mush anyway?” All grave sins against the wonderful thing that was apple pancakes.

“But that’s not making them disgusting”, Iruka sighed.

“It does.” Kakashi glared up at the receptionist still standing beside their table. “You should let Iruka show you how to make good apple pancakes”, he growled.

“Kakashi…” Iruka stared at him in what seemed to be disbelief.

“Because Iruka’s apple pancakes are best”, the Jounin continued to give the restaurant in general a piece of his mind. “Only he knows how to make them good.” He just knew that.

“Oh, Kakashi…” Iruka gently stroked over his hand. “I love you so much, you wonderful, sweet idiot.”

“Huh?” The Jounin turned towards him, absent-mindedly hearing something that sounded like an ‘Awww…’ in the restaurant.

“Kakashi.” Iruka smiled at him softly. “These pancakes aren’t bad, they’re just different from how I make them.”

“But they’re bad”, Kakashi insisted. “Yours are good. Only yours.”

“You only like them better. That doesn’t mean that other pancakes are bad.”

“It does for me…” Kakashi pouted a little. But only a little little.

“I know that.” Iruka leaned over the table and gave his masked lips a small kiss. “I love you.”

“What are they ‘awww’-ing at?”, Kakashi murmured when it happened again.

“At you.” Iruka chuckled, then turned to the receptionist still standing next to their table. “We’re terribly sorry for this. I’m sure Kakashi didn’t mean to make a scene, he’s just… very picky when it comes to apple pancakes.”

“Please don’t worry about this.” The man shook his head. “But I guess we have to tell the kitchen to grate the apples from now on. If this… incident becomes known, many guests will want ‘Iruka’s pancakes’.” He smiled.

“But they won’t get them”, Kakashi grumped. “Iruka makes them only for me.” And again an collective ‘Awww…’ What was wrong with those people?

“We can at least try to be almost as good as you, Iruka-san.” The receptionist winked at the Chuunin. “To be honest, I prefer the apples grated, too.”

“Ha, there you see it.” Kakashi pouted. “And what’s with all that ‘Awww…’?!”

-----

“Thank you very much for taking me out. I had a wonderful time tonight”, Iruka whispered softly when they arrived in front of the Chuunin’s apartment door.

“Even with me misbehaving at the restaurant?”, Kakashi asked doubtfully.

“Are you kidding?” Iruka laughed. “That was best. And now everybody will hear that my boyfriend took me out to the best restaurant in town and even that I make the best apple pancakes ever.”

“But only for me…” Kakashi pouted.

“Only for you.” Iruka opened his arms and embraced him. “You may kiss me goodnight now.”

“Outside?” The Jounin frowned. “Why not inside?” He knew that Iruka liked being kissed goodnight right before he went to sleep. And that was nice. It was always kiss-sigh-smile-cuddling. Nice.

“Oh, but normally, after a date the person who’s asked the other person out takes them home, then kisses them goodnight and then goes to their own apartment.” Iruka smirked at him.

“They leave?!”, Kakashi gasped, let go of the Chuunin and hastily took out his list. “Do I have to leave?! I don’t want to leave. Nobody told me I had to leave.” Wait… wait… asking out, then compliments, then taking to the restaurant, ordering, chatting, eating, drinking, walking home, kissi-

“You don’t really have a list there, do you?”, Iruka sighed softly and took it away. “Oh, please, you’ve got to be kidding me, Copy-nin.”

“I… but I…” Unsure what to do, Kakashi started fidgeting on his place. “Do I have to leave?”, he asked softly.

“You forgot to make me compliments before we left…” Iruka eyed the list.

“I told you that you look good.” Kakashi bit his lower lip. “And you do…”

“Thank you.” Iruka shook his head. “I guess I should have expected this… Did Genma, Anko and Raidou tell you what to do?”

“Yes?”

“Didn’t they tell you what usually comes after the kiss?”

“No?”

“Did you really think that those three are the best persons to give you dating advice?”

“I… Yes?” He hadn’t wanted to ask Gai once again, really.

“Did you- Ah, whatever.” Iruka laughed softly, shook his head and carefully put the list into one of his pockets. “I’ll frame this and hang it up in my bedroom, that’s for sure. Kiss me now?”

“Do I have to leave if I do it?”, Kakashi asked carefully.

“And ruin this perfect date?” Iruka laughed again. “You can kiss me goodnight now, then come inside and kiss me goodnight once again.”

“And I can stay?” Kakashi embraced his boyfriend.

“I want you to stay”, Iruka whispered. “And I want to make apple pancakes for your breakfast tomorrow.”

Kakashi immediately kissed him. Hey, dates weren’t that bad, really…

----- ----- -----

“I heard about your… date yesterday.” Genma grinned like a lunatic. “Did you get a kiss despite being an idiot?”

“M-hm…” Kakashi nodded absent-mindedly, his uncovered eye fixated on Iruka teaching his children how to throw kunai on the schoolyard. He knew that the Chuunin was perfectly able to evade and dodge every single one of them, but… Well, just in case.

“How…” Raidou appeared beside the Copy-nin. “Did really somebody at the restaurant notice that you are… a couple?”, he asked slowly.

“Everybody.” Kakashi smiled softly. “Iruka said that he loves me in front of everybody and then he kissed me.” And that infuriating waiter had stopped staring at him then, ha!

“He really did?”, Raidou breathed and Kakashi could feel Genma freeze beside him. “How did they react?”

“They ‘awww’-ed.” The Copy-nin frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean anyway?”

“They ‘awww’-ed?”, Raidou whispered.

“M-hm.” Hm? Now Genma was suddenly slumping against a tree and sighing? What was going on?

“Oh.” Raidou bit his lower lip. “And… the food?”

“Don’t eat the apple pancakes.”

Genma laughed softly. “Hey, Rai. Wanna go out with me?”

“I…” Raidou fidgeted. “M… maybe…”

“Will you say that you love me in front of everybody, too?” Genma grinned.

“Genma!” Raidou blushed deepest crimson. “You’re such a jerk!”

“That’s almost just as good.” The Special Jounin laughed.

“Don’t eat the apple pancakes”, Kakashi reminded them, then almost bolted when a kunai came rather close to Iruka’s arm. But the Chuunin dodged it gracefully in the last moment. Phew…

“-aste them?”

“Hm?” Kakashi blinked. “What did you say?”

Genma sighed heavily. “I asked whether you would share Iruka’s pancakes with us to let us taste the-”

“No!” Kakashi whipped his head around to glare at him. “Mine!”

“Just asking!”, Genma squeaked hastily.

“Don’t ask again”, Kakashi growled and looked back at Iruka. His Iruka. And his his Iruka’s apple pancakes.

----- ----- -----

“Oh.” Iruka frowned down at the scroll in his hands. “This is… unexpected.”

“Hm?” Kakashi looked up at him.

“I have a mission”, the Chuunin told him.

Kakashi immediately felt his muscles tense. “A mission?”

“M-hm.” Iruka shrugged. “C-rank. Have to take an exchange student back to her hometown.”

“Why you?” The Jounin did his best to keep his voice calm.

“She’s been in my class.” Iruka sighed. “And she’s a little… clingy, sort of. Tsunade thinks it’s better not to let a stranger take her home.”

“I didn’t know you do missions.” He’d thought that Iruka would stay in the village. Always. Safe and sound in the village.

“I normally don’t, at least not outside the holidays.” Iruka shrugged. “But this shouldn’t be difficult. It’s only a week, maybe eight days, and it’s only a C.”

“I don’t like that”, Kakashi murmured.

“Hey”, Iruka growled. “Do you think I can’t do a C?”

“No!” Kakashi hastily shook his head. “I just… I just don’t want you to leave the village.” He bit his lower lip under his mask. “Leave me…”

“Kakashi…” Iruka sighed. “Don’t worry, okay? I’ll be back before you even miss me.”

Somehow, he highly doubted that.

-----

“Okay, that’s it!” Tsunade growled. “You’ll get a mission now!”

“But I-”

“You’re driving me nuts, Hatake! Do you have to come into my office and ask whether there’s any news of Iruka-sensei every freaking hour? He’s been gone for less than half a day!”

“But I-”

“Mission!” The Sannin threw a scroll at him. “There. Six days at least. And there.” Another scroll. “Four days. Iruka-sensei will be back until then!”

“But I… Okay…”

----- ----- -----

“Iruka?” Kakashi frowned. “Iruka?” But again no answer. But it was Sunday. And Iruka should be back from his mission already. And in his apartment then. And he’d so been looking forward to seeing him. And-

The Jounin felt his whole body tense when his senses picked up something that wasn’t supposed to be there. Immediately, he formed the signs for a summoning jutsu.

“Tell me who’s been here”, he ordered briskly.

“Why, hello to you, too, boss”, Pakkun grumped. “How’s your boyfr-”

“Tell me who’s been here!”, Kakashi half-shouted. “In the last week.”

“Alright, alright.” Pakkun closed his eyes and sniffed. “Your feisty boyfriend hasn’t been here for at least… ten, eleven days, I’d say.” He sniffed again. “Your alpha-woman’s been here, that Tsunade. Yesterday, I’d say, or the day before.”

Kakashi was running towards the Hokage Tower faster than ever.

-----

He caught Shizune completely by surprise when he jumped through the window of the Hokage’s office, making her jump, yelp and drop all the papers she had been carrying except one.

“Where’s Tsunade?!”, he demanded. “Where’s Iruka?!”

“Ka… Kakashi-san”, the assistant stammered, eyes wide open.

“Where’s Iruka?!”, the Copy-nin yelled.

“He… he…” Shizune’s eyes darted to the sheets of paper on the floor.

Kakashi followed her gaze, noticed his boyfriend’s name on one of it and grabbed it immediately, recognising it as an ANBU report. His body felt ice-cold suddenly.

‘We (Konoha ANBU Squad 8 – Hawk, Rat, Cat and Hare) found Konoha Chuunin Umino Iruka on our way back from a classified mission, about four days out of Konoha at civilian speed’, the report read. ‘He was hiding out in some bushes with the civilian Hana Ciara, nine years old. Umino had his body curled around the girl, shielding her. She was unharmed but showed signs of a shock. Umino was bleeding heavily from a wound in his chest and several others. He was unconscious, therefore not able to mask his chakra, which is the reason why we were able to find him. Hana Ciara informed us that they had been attacked one day ago while on their way to her hometown. Umino had managed to dispose of the attackers – she couldn’t say whether it had been three or four but could remember them wearing hitai-ate of missing nin of Mist – but got injured severely. The corpses should be lying somewhere in the forest still. Hana Ciara informed us that Umino had suffered from fever, sudden occurring phases of blindness, numbness of limbs and nausea ever since being injured. Therefore it is likely that he got poisoned. Antidotes for the mostly used poisons were given but the exact kind of poison was unknown. Umino was in overall critical condition. Hawk and Rat took him back to Konoha while Cat and Hare were sent to bring Hana Ciara to her hometown safel-’

The paper slipped from Kakashi’s trembling fingers right before his legs gave in under him and he crashed to the floor. Suddenly unable to breathe, he felt his whole body shake and shudder.

“Kakashi-san…” Shizune’s voice sounded to him as if through cloth.

“Iruka…”, he choked out, pain wracking his body from within. “Iruka…” Iruka had left him. Like everybody else always had. Iruka was gone. He would never again feel him be gentle, never again see him smile, never aga-

“He’s in the hospital, Kakashi-san”, Shizune told him softly. “Tsunade-sama was able to save his life.”

“Iruka…” Kakashi blinked and lifted his head weakly. “He’s… alive?”

“Yes, Kakashi-san.” The young medic smiled softly. “He’s in the hospital and Tsunade-sama is taking care of him. His condition is stable.”

If he had run before, Kakashi was flying now.

-----

“Where is he?”, Kakashi demanded the moment he entered the hospital and saw Tsunade stand in the hall.

“Kakashi, calm down. He’s-”

“Where is he?!”

“Kakashi, you need to calm down before I let you see him”, Tsunade said sternly. “He’s in no condition to endure stress.”

“But I need to see him”, Kakashi insisted, feeling his body tremble. “I need… I…” He needed to make sure that Iruka was alive. He needed to see it with his own eyes, needed to hear the Chuunin’s heart beat and to feel the warmth of his skin. He needed Iruka.

“I know that.” Tsunade sighed and smiled sympathetically. “I will take you to see him. But you have to promise not to upset him.”

“I won’t”, Kakashi whispered. “Please. I need to see him.”

“Room 214. I will-”

Kakashi didn’t hear more of what the Sannin said. He just ran towards the staircases, taking two stairs at a time, then down a hallway until he finally stood in front of the door separating him from Iruka. He grabbed the doorknob, twisted it and yanked the door open before he hurried into the room. When he saw Iruka lie on the only bed in the small room, he froze completely on the spot.

The Chuunin was pale under the white blanket that covered his body up to his shoulders, and there were bandages visible on his chest and neck and small cuts on his forehead and cheeks. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be sleeping, his gentle face marred with a frown and his hands clenching and unclenching slowly.

Kakashi fell to his knees in relief at seeing Iruka alive and breathing. He could feel his whole body shake violently and heard his breath come in harsh, painful gasps. But it didn’t matter, nothing did matter, because Iruka was still with him, because he wouldn’t be alone again. And that was all that mattered.

After what felt like an eternity, Kakashi found the strength to get up from the floor again, closed the door softly and approached the bed. He carefully avoided any sound when he dragged a chair closer to the bed and sat down, then he just looked at Iruka. The Chuunin’s chest rose and fell in a regular motion and his breathing was even. But there was still the frown on his face as if he was having a nightmare.

“Iruka”, Kakashi whispered softly and carefully took one of the Chuunin’s hands, not wanting to wake but needing to feel him. “Everything’s fine. I’m with you now.”

The frown didn’t disappear, but Iruka closed his fingers around the Copy-nin’s in his sleep.

“Everything’s fine”, Kakashi repeated softly. “I will protect you now, I promise, Iruka.” He leaned forward and placed a featherlike kiss on the Chuunin’s lips, just like Iruka had done with him when they had said goodbye. “I’m here, Iruka.”

“Mmmh… Ka… shi?”, Iruka whispered without opening his eyes.

“I’m here. Don’t worry and go back to sleep.”

“The… girl…”

“She’s fine, don’t worry, Iruka.” Kakashi kissed him once again. “You protected her.”

“Good… Ka… kashi…” Finally the frown vanished and the Chuunin smiled softly.

“Iruka”, Kakashi whispered back, swallowing hard. Iruka was alright, he was alive and safe now. But suddenly a realisation came and almost suffocated him. How close it had been, how close he had been to losing Iruka. To being alone again. To never being able to become human and love Iruka. To never achieving what he wanted more than anything else.

“I… I was so afraid”, he whispered. “When I found out that you were injured. I felt so cold, Iruka, I was so afraid that I could lose you.”

“Me too…”

“Don’t ever leave me”, Kakashi pleaded desperately although he knew that Iruka couldn’t give him that promise.

“Never willingly.” Iruka tried to open his eyes, his eyelids fluttering.

“Don’t overstrain yourself”, Kakashi whispered.

“Want to… see you…” Iruka smiled. “Always want that…”

Kakashi swallowed again, his uncovered eye fixated on the Chuunin’s. He also wanted to look at Iruka, just look at him. And he wanted to hold his hand like he did now for as long as he was allowed to, and feel his warmth and smell the scent of his skin. He wanted to have Iruka by his side forever, wanted to have the Chuunin close to him and all to himself. He would never let go of Iruka ever again, would never allow anybody to hurt him again, to touch him, to speak to him or to look at him. He knew he was being ridiculous to want that, that it wasn’t possible to this amount, but right now Iruka was his, only his, and so he couldn’t care less about such trivial things as impossibility.

He carefully tightened his grip on Iruka’s hand and felt his heartbeat speed up when the Chuunin’s eyes finally opened slowly. He longed to see those gentle, caring eyes look at him, only at him, with all the love that he needed to see.

“Kakashi…”, Iruka whispered when his still hazy eyes had opened and were slowly focusing on the Jounin. “Kakashi, I-” He broke off suddenly and his eyes opened wide.

“Iruka”, Kakashi gasped. “Are you in pain? Do your wounds hurt?”

“You… you…” The Chuunin’s eyes widened even more. “Do you…”

“What did I do?”, Kakashi asked, almost panicking, and immediately let go of his hand. “Did I grip too hard? Did I hurt you?”

“Kakashi… Kakashi, you…”

“Please”, the Jounin pleaded desperately. “Please tell me what I did. I’m so sorry, Iruka. Please, I don’t know what I did wrong. Iruka, please, tell me.”

“Tell… you?” The Chuunin looked at him for a moment longer, then sighed softly and smiled. “You didn’t do anything wrong”, he whispered.

“But what happened to you? Did I hurt you?”

“Kakashi, you… you didn’t do anything wrong. My… my wound hurt.”

“Oh. I will call Tsunade-sama and tell her.”

“No.” Iruka slowly lifted his hand, his face showing how much it strained him to do it, and placed it on the Jounin’s. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Iruka slowly closed his eyes. “Just stay here…”

“I won’t go anywhere”, Kakashi promised, feeling as if the lack of Iruka’s gentle eyes on him was taking away his warmth. He carefully tightened his hold on the Chuunin’s hand, but it wasn’t enough.

“Stay…”, Iruka whispered softly.

“I will.” Kakashi leaned his face forward to the Chuunin’s, desperate to feel more of his warmth. But it wasn’t enough still, wasn’t enough just to look at him and hold his hand. He needed more, more of Iruka, more of his warmth.

Very slowly, Kakashi leaned forward even more and placed a soft kiss on the Chuunin’s lips. But it still wasn’t enough.

“Mmh…”, Iruka sighed.

It still wasn’t enough to satisfy the craving he felt inside himself. He needed to feel more of Iruka, so much more, but he couldn’t. Iruka’s whole body was covered, there were only his hands and his face, and still it wasn’t enough to touch them. Kakashi needed to feel more.

And so, although his hands were trembling and his heart was pounding, he slowly pulled down his mask and pressed his lips on Iruka’s.

Kakashi’s eyes widened. This… this was… Kissing Iruka without his mask hindering the contact was better than anything he had ever felt. It was warm and soft and felt so alive and… perfect. And he could feel his lips, sensitive from being covered most of the time, tingle and prickle when they touched Iruka’s.

“Kakashi…”, he heard the Chuunin breathe out when he broke the contact to disbelievingly touch his lips with his fingertips. “Kakash-”

Kakashi silenced him with another kiss, not able to resist when he saw Iruka’s lips purse while they formed the last syllable of his name. And again it was perfect and wonderful and warm-soft-alive-alive-alive, and he yearned for more, so, so much more.

“Iruka”, he whispered against the Chuunin’s lips, “Iruka, Iruka, Iruka.”

“Kakashi”, Iruka whispered back, his breath ghosting over the Copy-nin’s face like the softest of caresses.

“I’m so stupid”, Kakashi murmured. “So stupid. Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

Iruka smiled against his lips. “Now’s perfect. Kakashi?”

“M-hm?” He kissed him once again. Perfect.

“If I opened my eyes now… would I see your mask?” Iruka’s voice was low and gentle, just asking, not demanding.

“Oh. I…” Kakashi closed his eyes. “Probably”, he whispered. Kissing Iruka was one thing, was good and warm and… and everything he wanted now, but being looked at… Being looked at would mean to show Iruka his failures, his shame and his guilt. He didn’t think he could do that.

“Okay.” Iruka smiled again, Kakashi could feel it on his lips. “And if I kept my eyes closed, would you kiss me again?”

“Yes. I want that.” Kakashi opened his eyes and saw that the Chuunin’s were still closed, and the trust Iruka showed with this made him feel so warm that it made his head spin.

“’s good.” Iruka’s smile got softer and he yawned. “Don’t think I could really open them anyway…”

“Thank you”, Kakashi whispered and kissed him until he could hear his breathing change to the low, steady rhythm of a sleeping.

----- ----- -----

tbc

Nayru

Teach Me To Love You, Chapter 6

2008-08-13T12:57:30Z

Title: Teach Me To Love You
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: M for now, will go up
Summary: Kakashi had never been anything else than what had been expected of him. And nobody had ever expected him to be human. So how could Iruka even want to be near him? How could he say he loved him?
Spoilers: Spoilers for Kakashi Gaiden and very slight ones for the events before the time-skip.
Status: Chapter 6 of 15(?)
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

Teach Me To Love You

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 6 – Where’s the first one?

“Explain”, Kakashi ordered briskly the moment the bathroom door shut behind Iruka in the morning. “What were you doing on my place?”

“Sleeping.” Pakkun rolled his eyes. “What did it look like?”

“You never liked to be touched.” He’d once become Puggy Killing Machine when Gai had only suggested he could scratch his ears.

“You neither”, the pug gave back.

“Well, I like it when Iruka touches me”, Kakashi snapped.

“There you have it.” Pakkun snorted. “I like that, too.”

“But why him?”

“Could ask you the same thing.” Pakkun sighed. “Seriously, boss, I can’t say what’s so special about him. It’s just… him.”

“Yes…” Kakashi shook his head. “You’re right. He’s special.”

“I didn’t want him to… cuddle me at first, really.” Pakkun made a face. “I mean, cuddling? And he didn’t try to, not at all. But somehow… well, he invited me to sit on the couch with him to watch TV or he asked me whether I wanted to sit with him in the kitchen while he was cooking, and somehow…”

“Somehow it became nice”, Kakashi whispered. He knew that, knew already how Iruka seemed to be able to crawl under every defense, underneath reluctance and hesitance.

“Very nice”, Pakkun agreed. “He gives good belly rubs. I say we keep him.”

“Hey!” The Jounin glared at him. “You’ll not stay here now I’m back!” His place!

“Cheapskate”, Pakkun growled.

“My place.” Kakashi glared more.

“You’re not again arguing about that, are you?”, Iruka sighed suddenly.

“We just sorted everything out”, Kakashi assured hastily.

“Whatever.” Iruka smiled. “Pakkun, would you like to stay for breakfast? Apple pancakes?”

“Of course.” The pug grinned.

“Hey, they’re my-” Kakashi broke off at a stern look from the Chuunin. “Sorry.”

“What have I got myself into?”, Iruka sighed but then smiled and bent down to kiss the Copy-nin softly.

-----

“Both my parents were Jounin”, Iruka said suddenly, flipping a pancake over. “It had always been my dream to become one, too, when I was a kid. And after… after they died, it became my mission, kind of. To make them proud.”

Kakashi just nodded, a little surprised that Iruka seemed to have decided to tell him something like that.

“I was fifteen when I became Chuunin”, Iruka said the moment he’d finished the last pancake and sat down opposite from Kakashi and Pakkun on the kitchen table. “Just like in school, I had trained and learned my ass off while pretending to be dead last of my class and passed the exams rather easily, so I was told that I could try Jounin the same year. It was only three years after Kyuubi and the village was still short on high-ranking shinobi, therefore things went much faster in those matters.”

“Tournament or mission?”, Kakashi asked. Chuunin could become Jounin by passing a tournament not unlike the Chuunin exams or by accomplishing a very dangerous mission. He’d done the latter. More than once before he’d been promoted, to be precise.

“Tournament.” Iruka took a sip of his water and turned around to the window to give Kakashi the privacy to pull down his mask and eat. “It was held in the Forest of Death and just the same as the second round of Naruto’s Chuunin exams. Only with more contestants and higher rank. We had to get a light and a dark scroll and then keep them and stay alive until the time was up. There was no ending it by entering the tower and no other rules. We were told that everything that happened in the forest stayed in the forest.”

“How long did you have to stay there?”

“Two weeks.”

“That’s long.”

“M-hm.” Iruka sighed. “I stole the scroll I needed in the first night from somebody. I didn’t even need to injure him, just to throw sleeping powder over him. And then I hid for the next eight days or so.”

“Clever”, Kakashi said.

“I thought so, too. Nobody found me, nobody knew I was there. One night a Suna Chuunin even camped right in front of my hiding place without seeing me. I’ve always been talented at controlling and masking my chakra, my whole family’s always been. That’s been my greatest advantage, also in the Chuunin exams and on missions. My opponents always underestimated me until it was too late.”

“So you passed the Jounin exams easily, too.”

“I probably would have.” Iruka sighed. It sounded bitter. “On the tenth night I heard screams not far away. Not fighting screams, screams of utter terror and pain. I couldn’t stand it. I had to go and look. I thought maybe somebody was attacked by a forest animal and I could help.”

“What was happening?”, Kakashi asked instead of telling the Chuunin that leaving a safe hideout wasn’t a good idea, never.

“I… I kept hiding as much as I could while I crawled closer until I could look through a bush.” Iruka swallowed hard. “There was… there was a Konoha Chuunin I knew. He had captured a female Chuunin from Wave.”

Kakashi didn’t say anything. He thought he knew what had happened.

“She was screaming. She was barely alive anymore but she was still screaming.” Iruka swallowed again. “And he… he was cutting her skin, her face and burning her arms and breasts with fire jutsus. While he raped her.” The Chuunin’s hands started trembling. “Her left hand… all fingers were missing… and… and her skin… there was barely anything left that wasn’t black… and… and…”

“Iruka.” Kakashi reached out and took the Chuunin’s hand. He noticed that even Pakkun looked sick. And the thought of what Iruka had seen was sickening, not because they hadn’t seen even worse things – they had, and how they had – but because it felt so very bad to imagine that Iruka had had to see it, Iruka who belonged to light and warmth and laughter, not to violence, cruelty and death.

“It’s alright”, Iruka whispered but squeezed the Copy-nin’s hand. “It’s alright.” He took a deep breath. “I was… I was petrified. And angry suddenly, so angry. He was a Konoha Chuunin, just like me, and still he… he… I drew a kunai, jumped out of the bushes and yelled at him to stop it. He just laughed and drew a shuriken. Obviously, he underestimated me and thought I was an easy prey. I dodged the shuriken and slammed the blade through his throat before he could try again. Then I lifted the girl up and took her to my hideout. I tended to her wounds the best as I could and then tried to keep her alive until we would be able to leave the forest.”

“That was very brave, Iruka”, Kakashi said softly. For a human. And very stupid for a shinobi, but he didn’t say that.

“It was stupid.” Iruka shook his head fiercely. “When she could speak again, she begged me to kill her. She said she didn’t want to live anymore. I… I couldn’t do it. I kept telling her that everything would be alright. But she didn’t stop begging…”

“It wasn’t your fault”, Pakkun said softly.

“I know. I know.” Iruka took a shaking breath. “I kept telling her how everything would be fine again, how I would take her outside and how she would get healed and all that. And she stopped to beg for her death. I thought… I thought she believed me even though I couldn’t believe me myself. And then… and then on the last night… she took one of my kunai when I didn’t look and slit her own throat.” The Chuunin choked. “She died in my arms.”

“It was her decision, Iruka”, Kakashi choked out while he tried to force his own memories down, memories of a blade and blood and a cold body and- He shook his head.

“I know…” Tears ran down the Chuunin’s cheeks. “Sandaime-sama said so, too. But still… She killed herself… because of something a Konoha shinobi had done to her. One of my comrades. I’d thought that we were the good ones up to that day. I had believed in us.”

Kakashi knew that there was nothing he could say. He’d already seen too much in his life to try to convince Iruka that they were ‘the good ones’.

“I didn’t want to become a Jounin”, Iruka whispered. “They offered the promotion to me because I had collected both scrolls and back in those days that was enough, apparently. But I didn’t want it. I even didn’t want to be a shinobi anymore. But Sandaime-sama didn’t let me retreat. He said that I should go back to school and be a teaching assistant until I would have calmed down. He accepted my decision not to become Jounin though.”

“He was right to make you stay and go to the Academy”, Kakashi said softly. “Who would teach the kids if not you? Who would have been able to tame Naruto?”

“Yes.” Iruka smiled a little and wiped his face with his sleeve. “Yes, I know. I refused to see it back then but he was right. I wanted to leave for the wrong reasons. I was fearing to one day become like that man, you know. I had lost faith in myself and in shinobi in general, but I was wrong. There was still the village, there were still those who served faithfully and without finding pleasure in another’s pain. It wouldn’t have been right to let a single bastard make me abandon my duty for my village.”

“Come here.” Kakashi held out his arms until Iruka settled down on his lap, chuckling softly.

“I’m such a cry-baby”, the Chuunin murmured. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry”, Kakashi whispered. He didn’t know why, but seeing Iruka cry made him feel warm. It hurt, too, very much even. But still it felt warm to know that there was somebody who cried for those who couldn’t cry anymore.

“My… my second chance to become Jounin…”, Iruka started.

“You don’t have to do this”, Kakashi told him softly.

“No, no. It’s fine.” Iruka smiled a little. “I want you to know.”

“Okay.” Kakashi tightened his embrace.

“The second time it was a mission two years later. There was no Jounin available although it was an A, so I was called. Sandaime-sama told me that I could be promoted to Jounin if I made it. I accepted. I had made up my mind and decided that if I became Jounin, I could protect the ones I cared about better.” Iruka took a deep breath. “It was an assassination mission.”

“You shouldn’t have accepted it”, Kakashi murmured. Iruka was able to kill if forced to, physically and mentally, he didn’t doubt that. But Iruka couldn’t be a cold-blooded assassin, Kakashi refused to accept that.

“But I did. And I went in search for my target and found him rather easily and then… I hesitated.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I had already killed that Chuunin at the exams and I knew that my target was a dangerous criminal, a murderer, robber and rapist, but this was different still. I… I wasn’t… I felt as if I would step down to his level if I just killed him. So I… I left my cover and approached him.”

“Iruka, that-”

“I know”, the Chuunin interrupted sharply. “I know that it was stupid and that I was risking my life and the mission’s success, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was going back and leaving that man to murder and rape more until somebody else would find him, or fighting him.” He shook his head. “I was ready to die back then. But for the wrong reasons. Not to protect my friends and village but to calm my conscience. I was so incredibly stupid.”

“What happened?”, Kakashi asked softly.

“I had my chakra masked as much as possible and pretended to be a civilian lost on my way to the next village. He immediately offered to take me there and then presumably tried to overpower me in a small forest. I fought him, let him injure me on purpose to lure him even more into a false sense of security and then waited for an opening and killed him. And my conscience was quiet. Until I found his… captives.” Iruka swallowed hard. “They… they… to say that he had tortured them doesn’t even remotely describe what they had had to endure. He had done to them what… what had happened to the woman in the forest, and even more. Even… more…”

“Iruka.” Kakashi started to gently stroke the trembling Chuunin’s back, trying to reassure him. He saw that Pakkun came over and settled down on Iruka’s lap, rubbing his nose against his hand. And slowly, his boyfriend calmed down.

“They were… both conscious. A man and… and a woman, almost a child still… The man… the man begged me to end his life…” Iruka took a shaking breath. “I… I was so afraid that what had happened at the Jounin exams would happen again, but still I couldn’t kill him with my own hands, so… I gave him a small bottle of poison that would kill him without inflicting pain on him. I told him that he would have to kill himself because I couldn’t do it. And I was hoping that maybe he wouldn’t dare…” The Chuunin swallowed hard. “He took the poison without any hesitance. He just… he just opened the bottle, drank it and then closed his eyes and waited. I felt so sick back then, seeing him die, so useless. I felt… so…”

“Shh…”, Kakashi whispered.

“And then I tried to take the girl to Konoha with me, I thought I could at least save her. But she died after half of the way back…”

“Iru-”

“And… and do you know what? I think I could have saved the man”, Iruka sobbed. “I think… I think I could have saved him if I hadn’t…”

“He had already given up”, Kakashi whispered thickly. “You couldn’t have saved him.”

“Maybe.” Iruka laughed bitterly. “I will never know, now will I?” He shook his head. “I went back to Konoha after I had buried the girl. And again I was offered to become Jounin. Sandaime-sama wasn’t happy, but after all, I had completed the mission.”

“But you didn’t want to.”

“No.” Iruka shook his head. “The man… the man who had begged me to kill him… he had been a Jounin. And that made me afraid. I was afraid that I would one day go on a mission and something would happen that would make me beg for my death. The thought frightened me. So I refused to become promoted, but again not because of the right reasons. I was again only thinking of myself. The first time I had been afraid that I could become a monster one day and the second time that I could become a victim.” He smiled sadly. “But again Sandaime-sama understood and accepted my decision and then slowly opened my eyes until I understood, too.”

“The old man was smart”, Kakashi murmured fondly. He’d always admired the Third Hokage, and now that he knew that the old man had cared so much about Iruka, he did it even more.

“He was.” Iruka smiled again, then nuzzled his face in the Jounin’s clothed neck and started to gently stroke Pakkun’s back. “With his help, I refused to become Jounin for the right reasons when they asked me for the third time.”

“What happened?”, Kakashi asked curiously but regretted it immediately when Iruka tensed suddenly against him.

“I… I don’t think I can tell you that yet”, he whispered. “Not what happened.”

“That’s fine”, Kakashi assured. “You don’t have to.”

“But my reasons…” Iruka looked up and smiled at him. “My reasons were that I finally saw that I’m good at what I’m doing. I’m a good teacher and a good Chuunin. I help my Hokage to keep this village working and I teach my students as good as I can to make sure that whatever they do after school, they’ll be prepared for it. I understand that I shouldn’t throw that away only to become an unstable, doubting Jounin and maybe a risk for those around me. Sandaime-sama taught me to be proud of what I am.”

“I’m happy that you are who and what you are”, Kakashi whispered hoarsely. And he was relieved, so very relieved about that. This Iruka, this laughing, happy, sure, warm Iruka was able to love him. He doubted that he would have been able to do so if he had become a Jounin.

“Me too.” Iruka bent down and kissed him sweetly.

----- ----- -----

“Again?” Iruka sighed deeply.

“What’s wrong?”, Kakashi asked, slightly concerned.

“Nothing serious.” His boyfriend smiled softly. “Anko just sent a note asking for help with renovate her apartment. She wants new tapestries in her living room. Again. She’s only just had the old ones for maybe three months.”

“Then what’s wrong with them now?”

“Nothing probably. That’s Anko for you.” Iruka shrugged. “Ever pulled off tapestries from a wall and put new ones on it?”

“Nope. But can try.”

“We all only ever do.” Iruka laughed. “And afterwards we more often than not get so drunk we all have to sleep on her floor.”

“That’s not good”, Kakashi told him. Who knew what could happen? Somebody could decide to attack or to blow up the apartment complex or… or…

“Oh, but this time I have you to carry me home to my bed.” Iruka smirked, came over and embraced him. “Looking forward to it.”

Kakashi somehow didn’t.

-----

What had Iruka got him into? Kakashi warily glanced from Genma trying to grope Raidou’s butt to Raidou trying who-knew-why to fill dried peas he’d found who-knew-where through the opening of an empty beer can to Iruka and Anko trying to push each other against the new tapestries and blowing raspberries at each other. And that while everything had seemed so… normal only minutes ago.

“Kasashi.”

That was another thing bothering him. Iruka didn’t seem to remember his name anymore. “Yes?”

“Wannagohome?”, the Chuunin slurred.

“I really think you should.” Kakashi stood up from his crouch in a corner of Anko’s living room, always taking care of not touching the fresh tapestries, and carefully helped his boyfriend to his feet.

“Ruka’sh drunk!”, Anko shouted, giggling.

“Mnot!”, Iruka snorted, snuggling against the Copy-nin’s chest. “Am shnuggly wish my Katashi.”

“Kakashi”, the Jounin corrected.

“Kapathi.”

“Kakashi.”

“Ka… ka… phiii.”

“Kakashi.”

“Ka… shi?”

“Good enough.” He sighed and carefully helped his boyfriend into his sandals. “Want to walk?”

“Yup!” Iruka beamed at him. “Walllk wish my Kashi unda se shtarsh.”

“Okay…” The Copy-nin nodded goodbye at the other drunken shinobi, ducked his head quickly when Iruka waved enthusiastically and then walked them both out of the apartment onto the street.

“No shtarsh.” Iruka pouted at the cloudy sky.

“You’ll probably see enough stars tomorrow”, Kakashi murmured, earning himself a giggling fit. “You shouldn’t get so drunk, really, Iruka.”

“Don’ do id oftennn”, the Chuunin told him. “An’ only iffIfeel shafe.” He sighed and cuddled closer to him. “Feel shafe wish you.”

“That makes me happy, Iruka”, Kakashi whispered softly and stopped them in their swaying walk. “I know you don’t need it but I want to always protect you.”

“Wan’ tha’ too.” Iruka sighed again, his body slumping a little.

“Sleepy?”, Kakashi whispered.

“M-hmmm…”

“Want me to jutsu you into your bed?” By now he had to hold his boyfriend up so he stayed on his feet.

“Mrrrh…”

“Okay, I’ll take that as approval. And do you think you can drink something before you fall asleep?”

“Nomosake.”

Kakashi chuckled. “I mean some water or maybe tea? So sake’s not the only thing in your stomach?”

“Cn try.” Iruka yawned. “Bunnopromsh.”

Kakashi quickly translated that into not-drunk. “But no promise?”

“Mr-mmmh…”

“Alright. But you’ll probably thank me tomorrow if I manage.”

“Mrrrrrrh…”

-----

“Stop laughing.”

“I’m not laughing”, Kakashi assured.

“Are. Meanie.”

Kakashi chuckled. “More water?”

“So I can fall over my own feet once again on my next trip to the bathroom?”, Iruka grumped.

“You only miscalculated the length of your steps”, the Jounin offered.

“Meanie. Get me another painkiller.”

“Instantly.” Kakashi bowed. This was… not really fun, but… well, it was entertaining, he had to admit.

“And… Kakashi?”

“Yes?”

Iruka sighed. “Could you go take a look at Gen, Rai and Anko? Just make sure…”

“They’re all safe and sound and hungover, just like you.” Kakashi smiled at him softly. “I went to look at them while you slept.”

Iruka smiled tiredly. “Thank you, you’re wonderful. I love you. Even though you’re a meanie and laughed about me when I fell on my butt just now.”

“Want to love you. Even though you don’t remember my name anymore when you’re drunk.”

“I remembered it. I just couldn’t tell my tongue.”

“Just like you couldn’t tell your feet right now to keep you upright?” Kakashi laughed when he quickly dodged the pillow thrown at him.

----- ----- -----

“Know what?”

Kakashi smirked under his mask. He’d found out in the last weeks that Iruka always started a conversation with ‘know what?’ if he’d either found out something about either of them, wanted to tell him some ridiculously unimportant but nevertheless funny and interesting tidbit of information he’d picked up somewhere or had decided to let him participate in some hilarious wisdom he’d discovered for some reason or other and that never ceased to make him laugh. It always made his lips curl at the prospect of either of those whenever he heard his boyfriend say, ‘know what?’

“What?”, he asked, just as he was supposed to do.

“You know, when you wear socks”, Iruka started, wiggling his feet that were indeed hidden in rainbow-coloured, striped socks with even each toe separately in its own little piece of cotton wool.

“I don’t wear socks”, Kakashi chuckled. He preferred slippers but his boyfriend absolutely favoured warm socks when at home – the more colourful the better. And toe-socks were his all-time favourites. The Copy-nin suspected it was because he could slide around on them in the kitchen and the bathroom. He only ever did it when he thought Kakashi wasn’t watching though.

“You really should.” Iruka wiggled his toes again. “I know where you can get some like these in your size.”

“Pakkun would laugh.”

“Hm…” Iruka poked him in his side with one of his toes. “You both don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Was that what you wanted to tell me?”, Kakashi asked, took the foot gently and started to massage it.

“Nope.” Iruka sighed happily. “I wanted to tell you that if you wear socks and then pull them off your feet again, then there sometimes are those small… bits in between your toes, you know?”

“Okay…”

“It’s just bits of cotton wool, it’s nothing eew”, Iruka told him.

“It’s still weird.”

“However.” The second foot poked him and demanded the same attention as the first which was granted immediately. “I thought about it and I think there’s no name for those bits, you know?”

“So you made up a name?”, Kakashi guessed, chuckling.

“Yup.”

“What is it?”

“Sock vomit.”

----- ----- -----

Kakashi hummed a little. He didn’t know why though, he couldn’t remember ever having done that before, but now… Somehow knowing that he was about to see Iruka soon was making him want to hum. Weird…

But however, Iruka’s shift was almost over and from what he’d seen through the window of the mission room, there was nobody occupying him. So no reason why he shouldn’t start spending time with him immediately, yes, ye-

No!

Kakashi barely kept himself from growling when he saw Ebisu enter the mission room right before him. Damn. That guy was going to take Iruka’s time away. He hadn’t even seen the Copy-nin, so he would probably take long. Mrph.

“Iruka-sensei?”, he heard Ebisu say and decided to wait outside the room for the other man to leave again. He didn’t like the Special Jounin much because that man had never bothered to hide the fact that he didn’t like Naruto.

“Ebisu-sensei.” Hm, Iruka sounded as if he also wasn’t all happy about seeing the Special Jounin.

“Iruka-sensei, I must inform you that somebody is spreading rumours about you.”

“Really? And what could that be, do tell?” The Chuunin sounded less than interested.

“It is said that you were dating Hatake Kakashi.”

Kakashi growled softly. That Ebisu didn’t need to sound so angry, disgusted almost.

“Oh, then you don’t have to worry, Ebisu-sensei.” Kakashi peeked around the doorframe and saw Iruka smile softly. “Because those aren’t rumours.”

“They aren’t?!”, the other man gasped.

“They aren’t.” Iruka stood up from his chair. “And if you would excuse me now, my shift is over and I will be meeting my boyfriend.”

“You can’t seriously consider dating him!”

Kakashi growled again. Since when was that Ebisu’s decision?

“I don’t consider that”, Iruka said calmly. “I’m doing it. And I’m not going to ask anybody for permission, least of all you.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“Why not?” Iruka arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Just think about his reputation!”

“I do.” The Chuunin tilted his head to the side. “He’s considered to be a capable shinobi and a very trustworthy and caring friend.” He smiled and warmed Kakashi’s chest with that.

“He’s unstable and a killer”, Ebisu snarled.

Kakashi flinched. He didn’t want Iruka to think about that.

“He’s a Jounin”, Iruka just said. “Doing his job to protect the village. Us”, he added icily.

“He… he… he’s a man!”, Ebisu shouted.

To Kakashi’s surprise, Iruka smirked cruelly. “Ah, now we’re reaching the main point, aren’t we?”

“Iruka-sensei, you-”

“You think I shouldn’t be with him because we’re both men?”, Iruka asked, his voice cold and sharp as ice. “I can’t remember homosexuality bothering you when you tried to get me drunk enough to have your way with me some months ago. Granted, you were rather drunk, too, but that’s no excuse.”

Kakashi froze. Then he attacked.

“You did what?!”, he yelled and grabbed Ebisu by his collar only split seconds after he’d entered the room. “How can you dare to try to… to do something with Iruka?!”

“Kakashi.” Iruka’s voice was soft.

“But he tried to… to…”

“He didn’t succeed”, Iruka told him softly and gently placed his hand on the Jounin’s tense arm. “I’m not as stupid as he thinks I am and Anko, Genma and Raidou were there, too.”

“I never tried-” Ebisu yelped when Kakashi threw him away from him. Away from Iruka, more importantly.

“If you ever dare to try to touch him again”, he forced out through gritted teeth, “I will kill you.” He didn’t really know what ‘having his way’ would have meant, but it didn’t sound nice, not at all. It even sounded as if it would have hurt Iruka. Nobody was allowed to hurt Iruka, nobody, nobody, nobody! And nobody but him was allowed to touch Iruka.

“I… you… I will inform the Hokage about this”, Ebisu stammered while he scrambled to his feet. “You had no right to attack me.”

“Do that”, Iruka told him softly before Kakashi could voice more threats. “But keep in mind that you won’t be the only one informing her about something then.” He took the Copy-nin’s trembling hand in his. “Oh, and don’t forget to tell her that I am dating another man. I’m sure that she will be delighted to hear your opinion in that matter.”

“You… you…” Ebisu closed his mouth, stood up and straightened his clothes. “I will… I will…” He growled and hastily left.

“Have you been here the whole time?”, Iruka asked softly, stroking over Kakashi’s hand with his thumb.

“Yes.” The Jounin turned towards him and embraced him tightly.

“Rumours about us dating… Has taken some time for them to leave the Academy…” Iruka chuckled softly and placed his head on his shoulder. “Funny. Since we haven’t even had what is normally considered a date yet.” He lifted his head again. “But I must say that I don’t mind the rumours.”

“Why not?”, Kakashi asked. “What if more people like him come and try to hurt you?”

“Don’t care.” Iruka kissed him. “As long as those rumours keep people from trying to hit on you.” He smirked. “You’re all mine, dates or not.”

Kakashi nodded. But still… dates…

----- ----- -----

“We already have many.” Kakashi let his eye travel over the dozens of stones with holes lying on one of Iruka’s cupboards.

“Please don’t stop searching though.” Iruka took his hand. “I have still much space left for more.”

“Okay.” Kakashi just wanted to turn to him and embrace him when he noticed something missing. “Where’s the first one?” The small, cream-coloured one with the white line on it?

“Oh, you noticed.” Iruka blushed a little. “It’s… it’s on my bedside table. Between the photographs of Naruto and of my parents.” He hid his face in the Jounin’s chest. “I wanted to have it close…”

“Oh.” Kakashi embraced him tightly.

----- ----- -----

“You want to know about the Wonder of Youth that is Youthful Dating, my Eternal Rival?! I am sure you want to test my Honourable Knowledge about the Secrets of Love in your Hip and Modern Attitude! But I will Proudly tell you everything I know about the Tender Bonding that-”

“Great, Gai, I see you know everything. I’m impressed. Bye.” He would better find out himself, really.

----- ----- -----

“What is it you’re singing?”, Kakashi whispered although he was reluctant to break the spell.

“Hm?” Iruka blinked and stopped. “Oh, that. It’s a lullaby my mother used to sing for me. Do you like it?”

“Very much.” Kakashi turned his head on his boyfriend’s lap and snuggled his face into his stomach. “Please sing more.”

“I could sing something else for you”, Iruka offered. “Some other lullaby if you want.”

“I don’t know any.”

“Did your mother never sing any for you?” Hands started to stroke over his hair.

“My mother…” Kakashi couldn’t help but tense. “She died during my birth.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Iruka tenderly massaged his scalp. “That must have been hard for you and your father.”

“I guess”, Kakashi murmured, tensing even more.

‘Sakumo-san, please. It’s not his fault. He’s just a child.’

‘I know. I don’t blame him, Hokage-sama.’

‘But Sakumo-san, you’ve changed. You’ve always been so happy before. You’ve been looking forward so much to his birth and now-’

‘Now she’s gone.’

‘Sakumo-sa-’

‘She was my laughter, my light. He’s my… my duty as a father. I will raise him to become strong and never… never experience the pain of loss. He’ll never suffer like I di-’

Kakashi gasped when suddenly a soft voice invaded his darkness, soft and gentle, chasing away the shadows. He blinked and turned his head to look up at Iruka’s face, seeing that his eyes were closed and his lips smiling softly while they formed syllable after syllable of the soothing melody. His hands trembling slightly, he wrapped his arms around Iruka’s waist and held him close, determined to never let go again.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

tbc

Nayru

Teach Me To Love You, Chapter 5

2008-07-20T19:01:02Z

Teach Me To Love You

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 5 – So very me?

“Know what?”

“Hm?” Kakashi lazily lifted his head to look at Iruka snuggled against his left side on the Chuunin’s huge couch. And then he stroked a strand of hair behind his ear, just because he could.

“You’re never late when we meet.” Iruka arched an eyebrow up at him.

“I’m never…” Kakashi frowned. “Oh, that…”

“Why are you coming late at all if you’re able to be perfectly on time? Only if you don’t mind me asking.”

“It annoys people. Keeps them away from me.” And kept him safe. Just like the books, the mask and the ‘I-don’t-care-about-you-or-anybody-or-anything’-air.

“Ah.” Iruka hummed for a little while. “So… that means that you don’t want to keep me away from you.”

“I don’t want that.” Kakashi tightened his arm’s hold around him. “And… if I came late for meeting you… then I couldn’t spend as much time with you as I can if I come on time.” He’d figured that out rather quickly. He was a genius after all. Aand he knew that Iruka got really pissed if stood up.

Iruka chuckled softly. “That’s really smart. And I really like you reasoning.”

“Me too.”

“Know something else?”

“What is it?”

“When I cast the jutsu on you in the mission room right before I brought you here for the first time, you never did anything to stop me. You didn’t even seem to notice me gathering my chakra.”

“I didn’t.” Kakashi frowned. “At least not consciously.”

“Maybe you didn’t see me as a threat?”, Iruka guessed.

“I always see everybody as a potential threat.” Kakashi turned his head and nuzzled his masked nose into the Chuunin’s hair. “Except that I changed towards you now.”

“That’s good.” Iruka smiled up at him. “But still I think you didn’t see me as a threat back then. Nobody ever does…”, he murmured, sounding a little bitter.

“You’re strong”, Kakashi whispered. “And you invented that amazing jutsu you showed me. I’m sure you could give me much trouble if you chose to.”

Iruka snorted. “No need to tell me that. I know I’m not only the humble, polite, mediocre little Chuunin everybody sees me as. It’s alright if they do, though, kind of. It’s just…” He sighed. “I don’t like it when people think they can judge me by first look or just from my rank. Or pull rank on me and order me around. I so hate that.”

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi whispered. “For pulling rank on you before the Chuunin exams.” He knew now that he shouldn’t have snapped at the Chuunin the way he’d had. But he now also knew why he’d done that: He’d been terrified by the fierce will to care and protect that Iruka had shown. He hadn’t known it, hadn’t understood it and therefore he’d just closed up and tried to get him to back off as soon as possible.

“That was different.” Iruka snuggled closer and stroked over the Jounin’s stomach. “You were right and I was right, too, but I overstepped my boundaries. Forgiven?”

“Forgiven.” Kakashi pulled him even closer.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi sighed happily when he slipped under the sheets of Iruka’s bed. And it wouldn’t be long anymore and his boyfriend would come out of the bathroom and join him for snuggling. Sooo ni-

“Huh?” The Jounin blinked when his outstretched feet suddenly came in contact with something warm. He lifted the sheets and peeked under them. “Iruka?”

“Yes?” The Chuunin walked into the bedroom, hair open and freshly brushed.

Kakashi reached out his hand and as always his boyfriend walked towards him and let him stroke through his hair for several calm, blissful moments. “Iruka?”

“Yes, what is it?”

“What’s that?” He reluctantly let go of the soft hair and instead pointed at the thing under the sheets.

“Hm? Oh, I made us a hot-water bottle. It’s in a pillow cover to keep the heat longer and to feel better against our feet.” Iruka slipped under the sheets and squirmed a little, then sighed contently.

“Why? Are you sick?”, Kakashi asked worriedly.

“No, I’m not.” Iruka chuckled. “My feet were cold.” He smiled at his boyfriend. “Come on, try it. It’s big enough for all our feet.”

“Okay…” Kakashi still wasn’t convinced. The only times he’d ever had a hot-water bottle had been when he’d had a flu or even worse.

“Nice, hm?”, Iruka murmured when the Jounin was spooned up behind him.

Kakashi wiggled his toes, then once again when he realised that they had been slightly cool before. He pulled his boyfriend close. “Nice.”

----- ----- -----

“Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei!”

“Hm?” The Chuunin turned around on the street without letting go of Kakashi’s hand. “Oh, Keiko-chan. Hello.”

“Hello, Iruka-sensei.” The small blond girl smiled at him broadly. “Who’s that?”

“That’s Kakashi-sensei”, Iruka said softly.

“Yo.” The Copy-nin waved at the tiny girl.

“Hello.” Keiko grinned at him. “Why do you hold Iruka-sensei’s hand?”

“Because it feels warm.” And he wouldn’t share, not even with little girls, no way.

“Are you Iruka-sensei’s girlfriend? My mommy told me that boyfriends and girlfriends hold hands.”

“He’s not my girlfriend, Keiko-chan.” Iruka laughed softly. “He’s a man, so he’s my boyfriend.”

“Are you his girlfriend then, Iruka-sensei?” The little girl frowned.

“No.” The Chuunin laughed more. “I’m a man, too, so I’m his boyfriend.”

“Hmmmm…” Keiko frowned deeply. “I’ll ask my mommy!”, she declared then. “Bye, Iruka-sensei! Bye, Kakashi-sensei!” And she ran away.

Iruka sighed. “Here comes…”

“What’s wrong?” Kakashi carefully tightened his hold on his boyfriend’s hand.

“Won’t be long anymore, then my students’ parents will know about us…” Iruka sighed again. “We’ll see how they’ll react.”

“What do you mean?”

“I guess there might be some parents who won’t like the thought of their children being taught by an openly gay man… I’ll have to wait and see what they’ll do…”

“They’re stupid”, Kakashi growled. “It’s not as if you were different suddenly, only because you decided to be with me and help me become human. You’re still yourself.” And if any of those people dared to do anything that hurt his boyfriend, he would pay them back.

“Let’s just wait.” Iruka smiled at him. “And don’t worry, I can handle it. I don’t really care about what the parents think, only what my students think of me.”

-----

Most parents took it well when the news spread. Some even came to school to hug Iruka and wish him luck with his newfound happiness. Kakashi was not particularly happy about those people hugging his boyfriend but he could stand it, really. At least if they didn’t hold Iruka for too long.

Unfortunately, there was one family who even demanded to fire Iruka. Kakashi was not happy. Kakashi was so much not happy that he went to their home, cornered the father and told him that if he had a problem with him being with Iruka, he should straighten things out with him, not go and whine to the Elders or the Hokage. They still had their son transferred to another class. Iruka was sad and hurting and Kakashi did his best to comfort him. He had never before felt so helpless.

When the boy still came back to the Chuunin’s class the next day, saying that he wasn’t as stupid as his parents and wouldn’t let them keep him from being taught by the best teacher ever, Iruka was so happy he was close to tears. When Kakashi couldn’t hold himself back anymore, jumped from his place on the tree in front of his classroom through the window and embraced him, he started crying. Which resulted in the children joining for a class-hug with a rather distraught Copy-nin in the middle.

Tsunade had a word with the parents but they wouldn’t change their minds.

Kakashi had a word with the parents but they wouldn’t change their minds.

Iruka had a word with the parents and the child was officially transferred back to his class. Nobody ever lost a word about the incident again.

----- ----- -----

“I’m sorry, Kakashi.” Tsunade smiled at him apologetically. “It can’t be helped.”

“I understand”, the Jounin assured, his heart heavy in his chest.

-----

“Iruka?”

“M-hm?” The Chuunin didn’t look up from grading his tests.

“Iruka, I have to go on a mission”, Kakashi murmured.

“What?!” Iruka’s head snapped up immediately. “But Tsunade-sama said…”

“It’s very important.” Kakashi didn’t want to go, he really didn’t. He knew that it was his duty to go though, that he was shinobi and therefore had to serve his village. But he would rather stay with Iruka. Where it was warm. Where he was warm.

“Oh.” Iruka sighed, then nodded. “Of course. I understand.”

“I should be back in a week.”

“You’ll be gone for so long?”, Iruka asked sadly.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t be sad.” Kakashi took a deep breath. “And please wait… I mean… don’t get… don’t lose your patience while…”

“Hey.” Iruka looked at him sternly. “I promised not to doubt you anymore, remember? The least you can do is giving that trust back to me, alright?”

“I… Alright. Sorry.” Kakashi smiled sheepishly, but with very much relief.

“Will you be able to sleep?” The Chuunin’s voice sounded concerned.

“I have to.” Kakashi shrugged. And he was trained to function without sleep for days if he had to.

“Oh…” Iruka looked at him, but then smiled suddenly. “Wait here, alright? I’ll be right back.”

“Sure”, Kakashi murmured unsurely and watched how the Chuunin disappeared in his bedroom, then came back after some seconds, holding his pillow.

“Here”, he announced while he pulled the cover from it. “Take this with you, maybe it helps.”

“Your pillow cover?”, Kakashi asked confusedly.

“Yup.” Iruka grinned. “You can sleep on it and then it will remind you of me. I would give you the whole pillow, but it’s too big for your backpack.”

“Oh, that’s…” Kakashi carefully took the cloth. “That’s very nice of you. Thank you.” He didn’t know if it would help, but right at the moment the thought that Iruka wanted to help him made him feel very good.

“I hope it works.” Iruka smiled.

“Thank you”, Kakashi whispered again. “Can I… Is there something I can do for you?”

“You can come back safe to me”, Iruka told him. “I know you can’t promise that, but you can promise me to do your best.”

“I promise.” Kakashi smiled at him. He had a reason to come back safe now, he realised suddenly, a reason other than his duty. It was… it made him feel… more human.

“And…” Iruka bit his lower lip. “Now that I think about it… maybe you also could…”

“Yes?”

“Would you… kiss me goodbye maybe?”, Iruka asked softly.

“Kiss you?” Uh-oh, he wasn’t sure if he could do that.

“Only if it’s alright for you”, Iruka assured but Kakashi could see in his face that he really wanted to do it.

“I… I think…” If Iruka wanted it, then he probably should do it. And it also would make Iruka smile. But… but what if he did it wrong? He didn’t know how to kiss. Nobody had ever asked to kiss him before and he was wearing a mask and didn’t know if kissing was even possible with a mask.

“It’s alright.” Iruka nodded reassuringly. “You don’t have to.”

“But I… I mean, we… we could try.” Kakashi felt himself blush under his mask. He would just try and hope that he did it right. And then Iruka would smile. Maybe.

“We don’t have to.”

“But… we can.” Kakashi nodded. “Just… just tell me what to do.” No, he hadn’t wanted to say that! Why had he said that?! Now Iruka would think that he was completely stupid!

“What to do?” Iruka frowned, then his eyes opened wide. “You’ve never…”

“I… I… I wear a mask”, was all that Kakashi managed to get out as an explanation.

“Oh. That’s…” Iruka blinked. “Sure. I mean… Never?”

“You want to kiss me or not?”, Kakashi snapped when the heat in his face increased even more. It wasn’t that unusual, now was it? He was only twenty-six and if he hadn’t kissed yet, so what? And no, he was not embarrassed.

“Yes!”, Iruka assured. “I want that.” He blushed. “And I’m sorry. I was acting like an idiot.”

“Alright.” Kakashi nodded, still a little miffed. Miffed, not embarrassed. “What shall I do then?”

“You… you just have to press your lips on mine”, Iruka explained. “Not too hard and not too soft.”

“And that’s all?” He’d known that. He’d just been convinced that there had to be some kind of… stuff apart from that. Something that made the faces of the people he’d watched kissing turn so… so all dreamy and soft and all that.

“Yes, that’s all.” Iruka slowly wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Alright.” Lips on lips. Not too hard and not too soft, alright, that was easy. It wasn’t as if there were about a million possibilities for that.

“Alright.” Iruka tilted his face up a little, then closed his eyes.

Kakashi leaned forwards slowly, aimed carefully and then placed his masked lips on the Chuunin’s. He applied a little pressure and stopped when he heard Iruka sigh softly, then waited.

It felt… okay. It wasn’t anything special or spectacular, but it was okay, he supposed. Somehow a lot like embracing, all nice and close to Iruka. But he didn’t understand why people were so crazy about it.

“Mmmh…”, Iruka sighed when he leaned his head back again. “Thank you.” He smiled.

“It’s okay”, Kakashi murmured.

“Did you like it?”

“I… Yes.” He hadn’t really not liked it, so he had probably liked it.

“Does that mean we can do it more often from now on?”, Iruka asked.

“Erm… Sometimes maybe?” He could do that, no big deal. And then Iruka would smile, just like he did now.

“M-hm.” The Chuunin smiled softly. “And it will feel even better once you take the mask off.”

Kakashi froze immediately. Taking off his mask? He couldn’t do that! Then Iruka would see them! Then Iruka would see the signs of his shame and he would leave him and never want to be with him again and-

“Only if you want that”, Iruka assured hastily. “I mean, you don’t have to.”

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi whispered. “I can’t.”

“It’s fine.” Iruka placed another, featherlike kiss on his lips. “I’m sure that you’ll one day trust me enough to take off your mask.” He smiled warmly.

“I’ll… I’ll try.” But Kakashi doubted that that would ever happen.

-----

The pillow cover worked, Kakashi noticed on his first night out of Iruka’s bed. He still woke at every noise he heard, at every movement around him, but that was due to his shinobi training and survival instinct. And then he could lie down on the cloth again and take a deep breath through his mask and smell Iruka, and then he would slip back into calm, refreshing sleep.

And he also noticed that he seemed to be more aware of his surroundings during the days, and even faster and stronger during fights. But that certainly couldn’t be because of the pillow cover, now could it? Granted, he slept better and was more refreshed when he woke up again, but could that make such a difference? Could the sleep he was getting since he was with Iruka be the reason for his sudden energy? Hmm…

But there was no other explanation than Iruka being the reason for his increased strength and stamina. As far as he could remember, it had got better some days, or more precisely nights after he’d started having a relationship with the Chuunin. Heh… Iruka as energy boost. Nice, the Chuunin would certainly smile if he told him.

But now that he thought about it… He should better not tell anybody. What if Gai took it as a reason to make up more and more challenges? Or what if Tsunade decided to send him to more and more missions once she heard about it?

Or even worse, what if Tsunade sent other people to sleep in Iruka’s bed to make them stronger, too?! No way, he would so not let that happen!

-----

“I’m back!”, Kakashi announced through the open window to Iruka’s living room, then frowned when he noticed something odd. Why did Iruka have two curtains now? His usual cream-coloured one and underneath a new white one?

“Kakashi!” Iruka came out of his bedroom, approached him and held out his arms to be embraced, and the Jounin complied happily.

“I could sleep”, Kakashi told him without letting go. “Thank you for the pillow cover.” Although the real Iruka was so much better.

“I’m happy that I could help you.” Iruka leaned his head back, looked at him and then kissed him softly.

Kakashi held still, knowing that he would make the Chuunin happy with it. Kissing was alright, he could stand that. Especially if he could embrace Iruka while he kissed him. Embracing was so much better than kissing, and he wasn’t sure why Iruka seemed to think differently, but it was alright. As long as he got embracing, too.

“I have a surprise for you”, Iruka told him when they parted again.

“A surprise?”, Kakashi asked warily. He wasn’t very fond of surprises. In his life, surprises almost always had meant kunais out of the dark, jutsu traps or sudden treason.

“Turn around.” Iruka grinned.

Kakashi did as wished and caught sight of the new curtains again. “New curtains.” New curtains were at least a safe surprise. Probably.

“Look closer.”

“Okay…” Kakashi squinted with his uncovered eye. “New white curtains that look like… fishnet?”

“Almost.” Iruka moved to stand beside him and took the cloth in his hand. “New white curtains that look like fishnet and are strong enough to stop kunai and shuriken and the like.”

The Copy-nin frowned. “Stop them?”

“M-hm. Here, feel it.” Iruka held out the cloth. “It’s a very strong and heavy fibre. If you throw a kunai or a shuriken or something else against it, the weapon can’t cut through and instead gets stopped by the heavy cloth and falls down. And still, because of the fishnet, the light can shine through them although the view is rather obscured. Ibiki invented them and I asked him to install them in my apartment. We already tested them.”

“They’re handy”, Kakashi admitted, but then jumped in shock. “Why do you have them? Is somebody threatening you?!” And it was certainly his fault, he had put Iruka in danger!

“Nobody’s threatening me.” Iruka stroked the Jounin’s upper arm reassuringly. “They’re for you. To feel safer in here.”

“Oh.” Kakashi’s eyes widened. “For me?”

“Yes.” Iruka slowly wrapped his arms around his waist. “I have them on every window. I want you to feel safe to embrace me or sleep or do anything you want in here whenever you want.”

“Oh.” Kakashi looked at him, unsure what to do. He couldn’t remember the last time anybody had done something not strictly necessary to make him feel better. He didn’t even know if that had ever happened to him before.

“Do you think you can feel safer with them?”, Iruka asked softly.

“Yes”, Kakashi whispered. “Yes, I… thank you.” He embraced the Chuunin. “Thank you, Iruka.”

“You’re welcome.” Iruka nuzzled his neck. “I love you.”

“I want to love you. Thank you”, Kakashi whispered once again, then leaned down to kiss him softly. And just as he had hoped, Iruka smiled.

----- ----- -----

“Again a mission? And for two weeks even? But you’ve only just come back here.” Iruka looked at him sadly.

“I have to”, Kakashi murmured. “We’re short-staffed at the moment and the Hokage can’t afford to let me stay in the village.”

Iruka sighed. “I understand. It’s just…” Another sigh. “I missed you while you were gone, and you’ve only just come back this morning. But I understand.”

“I will have to leave in three hours.” Kakashi smiled hopefully. “We could eat dinner together before I go.” Apple pancakes?

“That would be nice.” Iruka smiled back. “Any wishes?”

“Apple pancakes?” Pleasepleaseplease?

“Well”, Iruka laughed. “I knew that. I meant apart from apple pancakes. I think I should feed you with more if you have to go on a mission.”

“Don’t care.” Kakashi smiled happily. Apple pancakes!

“Alright, I’ll find something.” Iruka grinned, then walked towards him and embraced him. “I will miss you. Without you, my apartment feels so empty, especially at night. I missed you in my bed.”

“Oh, night.” Kakashi remembered something. “Can I take your pillow cover with me again?”

“Of course. But I’ll give you the one I used while you were gone, alright?”

“Thank you.” Kakashi hugged the Chuunin tighter. Iruka was very nice to give him something to help him sleep. Maybe he should try to give Iruka something in return? But what? Iruka had always slept well without him, and Kakashi didn’t have a pillow cover.

“What did you miss most while I was gone?”, he asked.

“Being held”, Iruka murmured and snuggled closer. “And holding you. And hearing your breathing at night and feeling your warmth then.”

Being held… Kakashi didn’t know how to give that to Iruka. And holding him… maybe he could find something for Iruka to hold? But that thing with the breath and the warmth… that was tricky. Soo… something to hold, to hear breathing and to be warm… Hmmmm… So what could that be? What could-

“Pakkun!”, Kakashi exclaimed when an idea struck him.

“What?” Iruka jumped in shock. “What’s a ‘Pakkun’?”

“You can have Pakkun while I’m gone.” Kakashi grinned happily. “Wait.” Oh, this was so perfect! Not only would Iruka be happy, Kakashi could also be sure that the Chuunin was safe. Pakkun would make sure of that and could even inform him just in case something happened. And Pakkun would-

Kakashi flinched. Uh-oh. He had forgotten that Pakkun didn’t really like to be treated like a dog. Or being cuddled, or even touched much. And that was bad for that ‘something to hold and be warm at night’-thing.

“Kakashi? What’s wrong? And what’s that ‘Pakkun’?”, Iruka asked.

But Pakkun would still breathe. Everybody had to breathe, even a bad-tempered, sarcastic pug. And that was at least one of three, right? And Iruka would have somebody to talk to, even if Pakkun could be rather grumpy and stroppy at times. But still Iruka would have someone to keep him company. And be safe, and that was even more important.

“Kakashi?”

“Pakkun can stay here.” Kakashi nodded, having made a decision. “I’ll call him.” He took out a kunai from his weapon pouch, nicked his thumb and then formed the seals for the summoning jutsu. A cloud of smoke appeared.

“What is it now, boss?”, it asked. “You know, I was eating.”

“Pakkun, you will stay here with Iruka while I’m on a mission”, Kakashi declared.

“What’s an ‘Iruka’?”, the pug asked.

“That would be me”, the Chuunin told him, then turned towards Kakashi. “Explain?”

“Pakkun can keep you company while I’m on that mission.” Kakashi beamed happily. “He breathes!”

“Ooo… kay?” Iruka didn’t seem convinced.

“He’s a client?”, Pakkun asked. “You know, if he is, then it’s your job to protect him.”

“I don’t need to be protected”, Iruka growled.

“Pakkun will stay to keep you company”, Kakashi interfered. “And to breathe at night.”

“To…” Iruka frowned, then laughed. “Kakashi, that’s so very you.”

“So very me?” He wasn’t sure if he understood that.

“Yes, very.” Iruka smiled at him, then kissed him softly. “Pakkun can stay if he wants to. To keep me company and breathe at night. But now I’ll take care of dinner. You’re invited, Pakkun.” And with that he went into the kitchen.

“Explain”, Pakkun ordered the moment he and Kakashi were alone in the living room.

“Iruka’s my… boyfriend”, the Jounin told him, not sure whether the dog knew that word. But he would so not call Iruka his ‘mate’, no way.

“Ah.” Pakkun arched an eyebrow. “And you decided that why?”

“He loves me. And I want to learn to love him back.”

“Sure, boss, whatever you say.” Pakkun snorted. “And I’m here because…”

“I have to go on a mission and don’t want Iruka to miss me. Therefore you’ll stay here and keep him company.”

“Of cooouuurse…” Pakkun glared. “Look at me, at my bushy, pink fur and my nice, dumb-looking eyes. What do you think I am?! A frigging poodle?!”

“You will do as I tell you”, Kakashi growled.

“Ah, you order me to be the pet of your boyfriend?!”

“I order you to keep Iruka company, make sure he doesn’t get sad because he misses me and protect him just in case it’s necessary.” Kakashi glared at his nin-dog. He had known that Pakkun was stubborn, unfriendly and not very fond of humans, but didn’t he see that Iruka was important and special?

“Protect him?” Pakkun snorted. “Now really, boss, you almost had me there.”

“I mean it!”

“Yeah, sure. You want me to protect a Jounin, alright.”

“Iruka’s a Chuunin.” A very capable one from all he knew, but the Copy-nin had dangerous enemies.

“Of cooouuurse…”

“He is! What makes you think he’s a Jounin?”

“Boss, I think it’s enough now, was very funny and all that, but-” Pakkun stopped and eyed his master suspiciously. “You are kidding, aren’t you?”

“Iruka is a Chuunin”, Kakashi repeated, slightly confused by his nin-dog’s odd behaviour.

“His chakra is too strong for that.” Pakkun sniffed. “Well, not really too strong, but it’s rather strong for a Chuunin.”

“His chakra’s too strong?” Kakashi frowned, then carefully felt out with his own towards Iruka. His eyes widened. “You’re right!” The chakra waves he felt were definitely extremely strong for being Chuunin-level.

“But sure I’m right. Unlike you humans, I can smell how strong a chakra is.” Pakkun snorted. “You’re sure he’s a Chuunin? His chakra control is excellent, almost reaches an ANBU’s even. That’s probably why you didn’t notice immediately.”

“I… I…” Kakashi didn’t know what to think. Was the man in the kitchen not Iruka maybe? But that couldn’t be, he smelled and felt like Iruka and had the Chuunin’s chakra signature. But what could it be else? Had-

Kakashi swallowed hard, painfully. Had Iruka tricked him? Had Iruka just pretended to be Chuunin-rank to… to do what? To kill him? To infiltrate Konoha?

“I… Iruka?”, Kakashi croaked. “Iruka?” It hurt to think about the possibilities and he didn’t really want to know what it was, but he had to.

“Yes?”

“Iruka, could you come here?” And then explain everything? And say that it was nothing serious or that Pakkun had made a mistake? And not, please not say that he was a traitor and had only pretended to love him?

“What is it?” Iruka looked out of the kitchen.

Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, to ask, but found that he couldn’t form a single word, could hardly breathe. He motioned for Pakkun to ask instead of him.

“Why are you Chuunin while judging from your chakra level you should be Jounin?”, the pug asked coldly. “And are you Chuunin?”

Kakashi saw Iruka freeze, then his face grimaced. “I am a Chuunin”, he told them.

“Your chakra tells differently”, Pakkun gave back.

“I didn’t want the promotion when it was offered to me.” Iruka stepped into the living room and crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking uneasy.

“You took the exams?”, Kakashi asked, feeling hope well up inside him. That could be an explanation. Iruka could have been ready but then have refused. He had never heard of something like that happening before, but it was possible, right? Right?!

“Yes.” Iruka nodded. “I had the chance to become Jounin three times.”

“And you passed the third time and then refused?” Passing at the third try was incredibly good. Kakashi himself had passed on his first, but the average was four.

“I passed and refused every time.”

“What?!”, Kakashi gasped.

“Kakashi, I…” Iruka sighed and seemed to want to say something but then the look in his eyes became defiant suddenly. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But Iruka, I-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Iruka turned his back towards him. “If it’s so damn important for you, you can ask Tsunade-sama to give you my file. You have my permission to do so if you think you have to.”

“Iruka, I…” Kakashi sighed, unsure what to do. “Promise me you don’t intend to… to do something that will harm the village?” He knew it was stupid not to dig deeper, not to try to get Iruka to tell him. He probably even should inform the Hokage about it, but… Trust, right? That was what Iruka always gave to him. He would try to give it back although it was a risk he as a shinobi probably shouldn’t take.

“I promise that the reason why I’m still a Chuunin is of no concern for the village’s safety”, Iruka told him stiffly.

“And promise me that it doesn’t… that it is of no concern for us?”, Kakashi pleaded softly.

“For us?”, Iruka whispered and shook his head but turned around. “Do you really think I could do anything to harm you?” He smiled sadly. “I’d rather die, Kakashi.”

The Jounin swallowed hard. “Okay.”

Trust. He would just trust Iruka.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi sighed when finally Iruka’s apartment house came in sight in the darkness after two and a half weeks of being out and being shinobi instead of human with Iruka. He was so, so, sooo tired. Somehow the pillow cover hadn’t worked quite as good as the old one. But he was rather sure that it hadn’t been because of the cloth.

Sighing again, the exhausted Jounin entered the apartment through the open window to the living room. He smiled softly when the heavy new curtains brushed his shoulders. He would be with Iruka again. He would sleep again. And in the morning he would try to sort everything out.

On silent feet, Kakashi went to the bedroom and carefully opened the door to slip inside. He quickly but quietly shed his clothes except his shirt and boxers, then just wanted to slip under the sheets and next to Iruka when he noticed something and froze.

There was somebody in the bed! There was somebody lying in Iruka’s arms!

Kakashi growled softly. That was his place. Nobody but him was allowed to sleep there!

“Hey!”, he hissed angrily. “Hey!”

“Hrn?”

“Hey! Get lost!”

“Hrmngrph.” A yawn. “Boss?”

“Get lost!”, Kakashi hissed again.

“Get lost yourself.” Pakkun closed his eyes again.

Kakashi stared. Then stared more. Waaait. Wait. That… that was…

“What the hell are you doing there?”, he demanded, trying to keep his voice low despite him being outrageous by now. His place! His place! His place, his place, his-

“Your boyfriend invited me.” Pakkun grinned smugly.

“Get. Out.”

“No. Way.”

“Pakkun, that’s my last-”

“Kakashi?”

“Yes?” The Jounin flinched. He hadn’t wanted to wake Iruka.

“You’re back.” Iruka yawned and slowly opened his eyes. “How are you?”

“Fine.” Kakashi nodded and was rewarded with a sleepy smile.

“See?”, Pakkun asked. “I told you he would be alright.”

“You!”, Kakashi hissed, remembering whose fault it was he wasn’t already lying in Iruka’s bed with Iruka in his arms. “That’s my place!”

“Hm?” Iruka frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Pakkun’s lying on my-” Kakashi broke off when he realised how stupid he would probably sound with his complaint.

“The boss wants to kick me out”, Pakkun told him, showing the Chuunin an indignant pout.

“Why that, Kakashi?”

“I… that…” The Jounin felt himself blush under his mask. “That’s my place.”

“Your place? Where?”

“In… in your arms.” Where it was warm. Kakashi’s warmth.

Iruka groaned. “You want to tell me you’re jealous of your nin-dog?”

“That’s my place”, Kakashi insisted. “And besides, Pakkun never before liked to be cuddled.”

“Well, I like it now.” The pug huffed. “And now get lost.”

“That’s my-”

“Stop it!”, Iruka told them sternly. “This is ridiculous.”

“Sorry”, Kakashi murmured. But still… his place.

“Okay…” Iruka sat up. “I’m sure we’ll find a good place for each of you. But first…” He looked up at Kakashi. “Did you read my file?”

“No.” Kakashi shook his head but felt that he had to confess more. “I wanted to. I… I almost asked Tsunade-sama for it just now, but… but I didn’t.” It had felt bad suddenly, as if he had been about to do something very bad to Iruka.

“Why not?”

“I… I thought that… that if you don’t want to tell me, then I shouldn’t look for it in your file.” He bit his lip. “But before I left for the mission, I… I told Tsunade-sama about our… argument and asked her if she knew anything and then she said that she knew and that you’d had your reasons and that Sandaime-sama knew, too, and that the village isn’t in danger and when I came back, she asked me whether I wanted to see your file and I said that I didn’t want because I don’t think you want me to and then I came here because I wanted to see you”, he finished in a rush.

Iruka kept looking at him for some moments more, but then smiled softly. “Come here.” He held up the sheets on his side not occupied by Pakkun.

“Thank you.” Kakashi hurried to get close to him, then embraced him. Mmmmh… warm.

“Apple pancakes for breakfast?”

“Yes, please.”

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

tbc

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:
Some things I want to say to this chapter:
First, I’m sorry that it took so long for me to write this but I haven’t had a single free day in the last four weeks, including my weekends. I hope it’ll get better now.
Second, hot-water bottles in pillow slips are heaven.
Third, I can’t stop giggling when I imagine Kakashi close to panic because twenty-something little kids hug him.
Fourth, kissing through a mask probably isn’t a very pleasant thing. *shrugs* We’ll have to wait and see whether he learns to like kissing still.
Fifth, no, this is not going to be an ‘Iruka is a funky, cool, kick-ass Hunter Nin’-story. He’s a Chuunin, period, and that’s how he’s best. He doesn’t need any rank or anything to be a great character. I do have certain plans for him but I’m aiming for him to stay himself. For Kakashi’s sake, if not for anything else.

Nayru

Teach Me To Love You, Chapter 4

2008-06-25T14:48:26Z

Teach Me To Love You

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 4 – We won’t let them.

“Genma and some of the guys are going for some drinks tonight”, Iruka said. “He asked if we wanted to come along.”

“Genma knows that I’m with you?”, Kakashi asked warily. The senbon-chewing Special Jounin was the village’s loudest gossiper. If he knew, whole Konoha was about to know only hours later. Minutes rather, especially if Anko joined him.

“He just said that he had seen us together often in the last time.” Iruka shrugged. “I’ve been for drinks with him and some others rather regularly for quite some time, still am from time to time, and he said that you’re welcome to join now that we’re ‘so good friends’, as he put it.” He sniggered softly.

“Oh.” Kakashi nodded. “Okay.” He had never been ‘for drinks’ before but as long as Iruka was with him, it probably would be alright. Not that he would drink anything, he never drank, but he could spend time with Iruka and learn how to be more sociable. Not that he felt particularly eager to spend time with Genma or anybody else. He would have preferred to stay in Iruka’s apartment with Iruka in his arms.

“Would it… bother you if anybody found out?”, he heard the Chuunin ask softly. “We don’t have to go.”

“Find out about what?”

“About us.”

“I… I’m not sure.” Kakashi mulled that over. “It could put you in danger if any of my enemies knew that we’re…” Boyfriends? “That we’re…” Hopefully-soon-to-be lovers? “Together. But we can still go and just… just not tell anybody?”

“Ah.” Iruka nodded. “Alright.”

Uh-oh, Kakashi knew that tone. It meant that he had done something that Iruka found not-so-good but the Chuunin was too considerate to say anything about it. Kakashi disliked that tone, not as much as Iruka’s you-hurt-me tone, but also quite a lot.

Soo… He had said that he would prefer it if nobody knew about their relationship. He had meant to protect Iruka, and he knew that Iruka knew that. But there had to be something else… Maybe Iruka was angry and thought that he didn’t think him capable of protecting himself? But no, Iruka always showed clearly when he was angry. But he hid it when he was hurt.

“Would you like to tell Genma that we’re together?”, Kakashi tried.

“No.” Iruka smiled at him. “He’s too nosy anyway. Won’t hurt him not to know the newest news for once.”

“Then… would you like to tell somebody else?”

“No.”

“I… I wouldn’t really mind if somebody knew”, Kakashi made a last attempt. “I mean, as long as it’s one of your friends.” He would just have to force himself to trust them not to tell any of his enemies. Or threaten them.

“You wouldn’t?”, Iruka asked.

“No.” Kakashi shook his head. “If you want to tell somebody, that’s fine with me.” He would just trust and threaten them.

“And it wouldn’t… bother you if somebody knew that you’re with me?”

“Why should it?” Kakashi frowned. If anybody should be bothered, it should be Iruka being bothered to be seen with somebody like him, not the other way around.

“Yes, why should it?”, Iruka asked softly.

-----

Okay, going ‘for drinks’ wasn’t something he particularly liked, Kakashi decided. The bar was crowded, full of smoke, smells and noises, and he couldn’t even see who was in there because there wasn’t enough light. He had seldom felt so uncomfortable when inside Konoha. But he would endure this for Iruka.

“You don’t seem pleased”, the Chuunin’s voice rang into his ear from his right.

“It’s okay”, Kakashi lied.

“It’s not.” Iruka laughed. “You’re fidgeting on your seat, throwing glances everywhere and you haven’t drunk one sip. You’re uncomfortable as hell, I can see that.” He laughed again. “Not even that woman over there flirting with you is able to cheer you up.”

“She’s not flirting with me!”, Kakashi gasped. He had tried to ignore that rather weird woman for at least an hour by now and had so hoped that Iruka wouldn’t notice.

“She is. Oh, and how she is. I’m only waiting for her to strip.”

“You think she will do that?!” Kakashi didn’t think he could stand that. It was hard enough to look at the things she was doing with the straw of her drink and keep a straight face.

“I don’t know.” Iruka grinned. “I only know that I won’t let her take you home.”

“I don’t want that!”, Kakashi assured. “Iruka, please believe me that I don’t want her to take me anywhere!”

“I know, Kakashi, calm down. I was only teasing you.” The Chuunin smiled at him gently. “Would you like to leave? I can see that you’re not comfortable here.”

“It’s okay”, Kakashi repeated. “I don’t mind.” As long as Iruka was having fun.

“But I do.” Iruka squeezed his hand under the table they were seated at. “Just let me say goodbye to Anko over there, and then we can leave, alright?”

“We can stay if you want”, Kakashi offered. He would just ignore that woman and keep pretending that he wasn’t so much on edge that he was almost at the point to jump up, grab Iruka and jutsu them out of the bar.

“But I don’t want to stay.” Iruka smiled at him. “I would rather go home, take a long shower to get the smoke out of my hair and then curl up on the couch with you in my arms and a cup of tea or hot chocolate. How does that sound?”

“Perfect.” Kakashi smiled back. He liked hot chocolate, especially with marshmellows in it. He didn’t know why though, they were all slimy and squashy, but still… But they weren’t anywhere as good as apple pancakes. Maybe Iruka would make some of them, too?

“I’ll make it quick.” Iruka squeezed his hand once again before he stood up and tried to reach Anko sitting at the bar with Ibiki and Shizune.

“So, Hatake, how come?”

“Hm?” Kakashi turned around to face Genma. The Special Jounin’s face was slightly red and he was already swaying gently on his chair. How he planned to defend himself against an attack in his state was a miracle to the Copy-nin.

“How did you become friends with Iruka?”, Genma asked. “You two never seemed to like each other very much.”

“He made the first step”, Kakashi answered vaguely, mostly because, ‘He kidnapped me, put me in his bed and somehow I liked it there’, didn’t sound like the right thing to say just to the Special Jounin.

“Ah. Thought so.” Genma nodded. “Nice guy, that Iruka. Seems to like you.”

“I know.” Kakashi smiled softly, knowing that Genma wouldn’t notice it under his mask. Iruka, however, would have.

“Lucky guy”, Genma declared. “Iruka’s good to keep you sane.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s… real, you know.” Genma sighed. “You know, you go out on a mission and kill your share of five, ten, fifteen people, and then you come back to the village and are supposed to be… normal.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t handle that at first. Don’t know how often they had to drag me to the hospital and drug me until I had calmed down again.”

“Oh.” Kakashi had known that some Jounin and especially ANBU had those problems. He himself had never had them, the only advantage of not being human probably. He had simply never known anything else.

“Then I had a mission with Anko”, Genma continued. “Horrible. The mission, not her. I knew I would freak out again and asked her to knock me out and bring me to the hospital in case I shouldn’t make it on my own, but she just said that she knew something better. Someone better.”

“Iruka”, Kakashi guessed.

“Exactly.” Genma nodded. “She took me to the Academy and told me to wait with her. I didn’t feel so good then, I felt like I would explode any second. And then Iruka came out with his kids. He was still a teaching assistant at that time and I at first didn’t know what should be so special about him, you know, he was just there and taught those brats to throw shuriken or something.”

“He is special”, Kakashi contradicted softly. After all, Iruka was able to love him.

“I know. Now I know. But then I didn’t. Until Anko said, ‘He lost his parents to Kyuubi. He lost his team-mates on their first mission out of the village. He lost his sensei and his new team-mates on their second. But he never lost himself. He decided to teach the village’s children although he’ll lose many of them, too. And he knows that, Genma. He knows that and still he keeps hoping and keeps being human.’ And then she looked at me and whispered, ‘I want to be like him. And because I know that I can never be, not anymore, I want to make sure that he can hope for both of us.’” Genma smiled softly. “I still remember every word she said. They shook me from head to toe. And I changed back then. Because of Iruka. Many years I only came back and stayed sane to make sure that he could still hope. To help him hope.”

“Does he know?”, Kakashi asked softly, a strange, tight feeling in his chest.

“I don’t know.” Genma shook his head and wiped his eyes. “Maybe he does. But if, then he never showed.”

“Are you still coming back because of him?” Would he maybe have to make sure Genma didn’t try to take away his time with Iruka?

“No, at least not only because of him.” The Special Jounin smiled. “I found someone to come back to quite some time ago. But still Iruka will always be one of the reasons I keep going, I think.” He sighed. “I just wished I could find out who’s hurting him…”

“Somebody’s hurting him?!”, Kakashi gasped. “Who?” He would find them. And then he would… he would… he would make them suffer. Nobody was allowed to hurt Iruka!

“I don’t know.” Genma shook his head. “And I don’t even know if that guy knows he’s hurting him. At least I think it’s a guy.” He looked at Kakashi. “I probably shouldn’t get you involved, but you are the master of ‘underneath the underneath’, so maybe you can find out.”

“Find out what?”

“Iruka’s in love”, Genma said. “He’s been for years by now. And it’s unrequited. That’s why he’s hurting.”

“I… he…” Kakashi’s eyes widened. It was him! He was hurting Iruka. Had been for a long time!

“I want to find whoever it is”, Genma growled. “And then I want to tell him that he’s not allowed not to love Iruka. He has to love him back or I’ll kill him.”

“You… How do you know it’s a man?”, Kakashi choked out just to say something, anything, while he tried to remember how to breathe. He hadn’t really realised what he’d done to Iruka all those years before and now it almost suffocated him. He hadn’t known or wanted it, but still he had hurt Iruka, Iruka who should never, never ever get hurt.

“I don’t really know. Iruka had his last relationship with a man, so I just guessed… Could just as well be a woman, but I hope it’s a guy.” Genma smiled cruelly. “That way I don’t have to feel bad to beat him up at least.”

“And… and Iruka was hurting? Much?” No, Iruka shouldn’t hurt, never, never ever. He didn’t want him to hurt still.

“Yes. He pretends not to be but I can see enough. He’s hurting so very much, Kakashi. I can’t stand to see it anymore, I have to do something.”

“I… I will do something about it”, Kakashi whispered. “I promise.” And if he still hurt him… he didn’t know what he’d do then.

“That’s good.” Genma grinned. “You’re a good guy, Hatake. Iruka was right to choose you as his friend.”

“M-hm.” Kakashi nodded. And he would prove that Iruka was right to love him, too. He would make him happy no matter what.

“I’ll leave it to you to find out more then”, Genma declared and moved to get up. “Tell me when you find that bastard so we can beat him up together, alright?” He patted the Copy-nin’s shoulder and went towards the door of the bar where Raidou had just appeared.

Kakashi watched the two men shake hands first, then head for a booth near the wall. He just wanted to look for Iruka when he caught sight of something that made his eyes widen. Had Genma just… taken Raidou’s hand in his? But no, that had certainly been the smoke in the bar that had obscured his view. Why should Genma take-

Kakashi’s eyes widened even more when he definitely saw Genma squeeze Raidou’s butt just before the two men sat down, earning himself a hiss and a slap on his upper arm. But… what the snorg had that been?! Why… When… That… Why should Genma want to take Raidou’s hand and then slap his butt? And why hadn’t Raidou told him not to do it and why-

“Hey there.”

“What?” Kakashi jumped slightly and looked up, then almost flinched when he saw the blunt woman from before stand in front of him.

“I’m Kyoko.” She smiled at him.

“I… Hatake Kakashi.” Okay, he was being polite. Now she could leave again, bye.

“Is this seat taken?”

“No. I mean, yes!” Iruka, where was Iruka? That was Iruka’s seat.

“But your friend just left.” Kyoko laughed and sat down.

“He’ll come back”, Kakashi assured. It couldn’t take long just to go to the bar, say goodbye and then come back, alright? Come back to save him from that woman who maybe was there to strip?

“I haven’t seen you here before. Are you here for the first time?” Kyoko inched her chair closer to him.

“Yes.” Kakashi pondered inching backwards but instead took a deep breath and decided to slip into I’m-so-bored mode.

“And do you like it here?”

“Hrm.” He shrugged. But he didn’t like it, not at all. It was too loud, too crowded, too open. And Iruka wasn’t with him anymore.

“Oh.” Kyoko frowned but then smiled again. “Isn’t there anything you like in here?” And then she did that thing with the straw and her tongue again.

“Mrh.” Another shrug. He liked Iruka, and Iruka was somewhere in here. But he didn’t like what that woman did at all. It looked… It made him feel like some kind of… prey.

“I thought so.” Kyoko grinned and leaned forward, obviously mistaking his shrug for an invitation. “Then why don’t you take what you like in here outside and go somewhere quiet with… it?”

“Sounds good.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest, deciding that shrugging probably was too subtle. And he wanted nothing more than go somewhere quiet with what he liked. And he certainly didn’t want to be there anymore when she found out what it was that he wanted to take with him. And what it wasn’t.

“Yes, sounds good”, Kyoko purred and placed her hand on his knee.

Kakashi took a deep breath and suppressed the urge to jump away from the unwanted touch. Okay, he had to calm down. He could not just push her away and nail her hand to the nearest table with a kunai, he had to find another way out. She was only a civilian, no threat for him, and he also didn’t want Iruka to become angry with him for making a scene. He had to get rid of her without drawing too much attention and if possible also without Iruka noticing her at-

“Ready to leave?”, the Chuunin in question asked softly next to him, making him jump slightly.

“Iruka”, Kakashi breathed in deepest relief. Iruka was good, Iruka would know how to get out of this.

“I said goodbye to Anko, we can go now.” Iruka smiled at him. “Let’s just say hello to Raidou on our way out and-”

“I. Am. Sorry”, Kyoko interrupted him. “But I was talking with Kakashi.”

“Oh.” Iruka smiled at her. “You were talking with Kakashi?”

“Yes”, the woman hissed. “And I think you should better go.”

“Oh, you think so?” Iruka still smiled but now it was all teeth and threats. “Isn’t that interesting, Kakashi?”

“Yes?” Kakashi tried to become invisible. Iruka was creepy suddenly.

“Yes”, Kyoko declared, glaring. “Why don’t you go and look for somebody else to talk to and leave us alone?”

“Oh, I shall leave you alone?” Iruka leaned forward until his face was at the same level as hers. “And why, do tell, should I leave you alone with my boyfriend?”, he hissed.

“With… your…” Kyoko’s eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed until she gave a very impressive imitation of a goldfish.

“If I ever only see you look at him again, you’ll regret it”, Kakashi heard Iruka whisper into her ear. “If I ever see you glance in his direction, I-”

“God, that’s…” Kyoko made a face of utter disgust suddenly. “That’s gross. Don’t worry that I would ever look at your boyfriend again. Just… just get away from me, you… you fags.”

“I… you…” Kakashi saw Iruka’s face turn a deep shade of red before the Chuunin suddenly took his hand and dragged him to his feet and after him to the door. He only just had time to notice Genma stare at them with his mouth open and his senbon falling out before Iruka had left the bar with him and was pulling him after him through the empty, moonlit streets.

“How can she dare?”, the Chuunin murmured. “How can she dare? That cheap… How can she dare?”

“Iruka…”, Kakashi whispered. “Iruka, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you angry.” The Chuunin seemed to be angry because he’d talked to that woman, but he hadn’t wanted it, not at all, and-

Iruka stopped so abruptly that the Jounin bumped into him. “Kakashi”, he whispered and shook his head without turning around. “Oh, Kakashi.”

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi repeated softly.

“No.” Iruka shook his head again and turned around to face him. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But aren’t you angry at me?”

“Why should I be angry at you?”, Iruka whispered. “It’s just… natural, I guess.”

“Natural?”

“Yes. That you want a woman, I mean. It’s just the way things usually go, and like that you wouldn’t have to be afraid that anybody could be taken aback by you being with another man.” Iruka shook his head and the look in his eyes became utterly sad and pained. “I can understand if you prefer a woman over me, Kakashi. I’m sorry that I reacted like I did.” He turned around again and took a step away from the Jounin. “Just… just go back and… and go back… to her.”

“But I don’t want to go back to her”, Kakashi said softly. “Why do you think I would? She doesn’t-” He broke off and turned his head around when he felt a presence behind him but then turned back to Iruka when he only saw Genma stand a few steps away. The Special Jounin could wait because Iruka… Iruka seemed hurt and he didn’t like that and Iruka was important.

“Why?”, Iruka whispered. “Why, you ask?” He shook his head. “Don’t you understand, Kakashi? If you stay with me, if people find out about us… there’ll always be some who… some who won’t accept it. There’ll always be some people who’ll be… disgusted of the thought of two men being together. It would be easier for you if you found yourself a woman.”

“But why should they be disgusted?”, Kakashi asked softly. “I don’t understand that.” Did it matter? And if it did, then why? If Iruka loved him and he one day loved Iruka, why should people not accept it? And what did other people than Iruka and him have to say about it at all?

“Me neither.” Iruka laughed bitterly. “But there are many who don’t accept it, you would see. And I… I don’t want you to have to see it, Kakashi”, he whispered. “It will hurt you and I… I couldn’t stand that.”

“It’s hurting you”, Kakashi whispered. And seeing that made him hurt, too.

“Yes. Yes, it’s hurting me.” Iruka’s voice shook. “But it will hurt me even more if I see you hurt.”

“Then I won’t let them hurt me.” Kakashi took a step forward and carefully wrapped his arms around the Chuunin’s waist. “I won’t let them hurt me and I won’t let them hurt you. I won’t hurt you.” Never again.

“But they will-”

“I don’t care.” Kakashi gently tightened his embrace. “I don’t care about what anybody other than you thinks, Iruka.”

“Is… is that…” Iruka started to shake in his arms. “Do you mean it?”

“Yes, Iruka. I mean it.” Kakashi carefully turned him around in his arms, feeling his chest clench at the tears running over the Chuunin’s face.

“You… you could be with a woman instead. It would be… easier for you.”

“I don’t want to be with any woman.” Kakashi tenderly wiped away Iruka’s tears. “And I also don’t want to be with any other man.” He leaned down and placed his forehead against the Chuunin’s, very careful because Iruka seemed so very fragile suddenly. “I don’t want them because they don’t love me.”

“Oh, Kakashi.” Iruka’s face distorted in pain. “Kakashi, I’m so sorry”, he sobbed, shaking violently.

“No, please don’t cry”, Kakashi pleaded. “Please don’t cry, Iruka.” It hurt, deep inside him, and he didn’t know why.

“I w-was so af-fraid that it w-would hurt you. That- that- that you would l-l-leave me.”

“I won’t leave you, Iruka.” Kakashi stroked his hair tenderly, desperately trying to calm him down. “I promise, Iruka. I will stay with you and I will learn to love you.”

“P-please…”

“I will, Iruka. I will do my best to learn to love you soon.” Kakashi tightened his embrace and then just held him, held him close to him to give Iruka all the warmth and reassurance he could. And finally the sobs faded slowly and the shaking stopped.

“Love you”, Iruka whispered. “Love you, Kakashi. Sorry that I’m… I just… I didn’t want you to get hurt…”

“I want to love you, Iruka”, Kakashi whispered back. “And I won’t let anybody hurt you anymore.” He stroked a stray strand of hair behind the Chuunin’s ear, once again marveling about how much it calmed him down to do it.

“I won’t let them do that anymore either.” Iruka sniffled and nuzzled his face into the Jounin’s clothed neck. “I won’t let them.”

“No”, Kakashi murmured. “We won’t let them.” He looked up and turned his head to see whether Genma was still there. He didn’t want to deal with him just now. All he wanted now was to take Iruka home and hold him close until everything would be fine again.

To his deepest relief, the Special Jounin just smiled at him and placed his index fingers on his lips, indicating not to tell Iruka that he was there, before he turned around and left.

“I wanna go home now”, Iruka whispered. “Wanna have you all to myself. And I have you all to myself because you allow it. Because you don’t want anybody but me and I don’t want anybody but you.”

“Shall I jutsu us?”, Kakashi offered.

“M-hm.” Iruka nuzzled his face deeper in his neck. “And when you see Genma the next time, remind him that I might not be a kickass Special Jounin, but that I am still a shinobi, alright?”

“You knew?” Kakashi smiled.

Iruka snorted. “Thinks he’s oh-so-sneaky. What did he want?”

“Make sure you’re alright”, Kakashi guessed.

“I am.” Iruka tightened his embrace around his waist. “I am. And I promise that I won’t let something like this upset me anymore. And I will never again doubt you.”

----- ----- -----

“Kakashi-sensei, what a pleasure to meet you.”

Kakashi turned around and frowned at a brightly smiling Anko. “Yes?”, he tried carefully and took out his Icha Icha from his pocket to hide behind it.

“Can I have a few words with you?”, the kunoichi asked, still smiling. “I promise it won’t take much of your precious time.”

“Okay…” Kakashi slowly followed her along the hallway, past the door to the mission room where he’d wanted to pick up Iruka and towards the last door.

“Please step in here.” Anko held the door open for him.

Kakashi peeked around the frame to take sight of… a broom closet. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh, please”, a new voice behind him said. “Do us the favour and have a little chat with us.”

Kakashi turned around and saw now also Raidou and Genma stand behind him. “I really would prefer not to go in there”, he stated firmly and put his book away again, pondering to draw a weapon, just in case.

“Oh, of course.” Genma nodded. “We can understand that. But we can have a little talk out here, can’t we?”

“Whatever.” Kakashi eyed them suspiciously. Something about their behaviour was making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“I had the impression yesterday that you’re with Iruka now”, Genma started. “Is that true?”

“Yes.” Kakashi nodded and slouched against the wall in a way that left his hands right above his kunai holster.

“How wonderful.” Anko’s smile brightened even more, making it look even scarier. “Then there’s something you should know.”

“What is it?” Kakashi was pondering to run, he really was. Maybe he could run t- eherm, walk rather quickly to Iruka and ask the Chuunin for help against this. This had to be some weird ritual or something. Or the three shinobi were completely bonkers.

“If you make Iruka happy, we’ll be your new best friends”, Raidou declared, grinning broadly.

“And if you make Iruka sad, we’ll be your worst nightmares”, Genma added cheerily.

“Do you want to be our friend, Kakashi-kun?”, Anko asked.

No. No, Kakashi didn’t want that. Those three were crazy, completely crazy.

But he wanted to make Iruka happy, so maybe he would have to take them as his friends then? Maybe that was some kind of condition to making Iruka happy? If he wanted Iruka, then he had to take those three, too? Creepy… But still.

“I want to make Iruka happy”, he told them. “I want to love him.” Even if it meant to have creepy friends.

Some seconds passed in which the three shinobi standing around him didn’t move a muscle, just kept looking at him. Maybe Kakashi could escape now? Maybe if he was really fast and sneaky? He was good at being sneaky.

“Perfect, Hatake!”, Anko boasted suddenly and slapped him on his shoulder, making him flinch.

“Yes!”, Genma agreed. “That’s what I wanted to hear!”

“Good man!” Raidou nodded.

“Okay?” Kakashi tried to inch away. Creepy.

“Hey, you know what, Hatake?” Anko leaned towards him. “Iruka loves picnics.”

“Yes, and ramen”, Genma continued. “Beef ramen. And cherries.”

“Oh yeah, he loves cherries.” Raidou nodded. “And going to the hot springs. And going swimming. And sushi.”

“But not sashimi”, Anko declared. “And he’s not fond of too much wasabi on it. And he likes rice in every way.”

“And spring rolls.”

“And hot chocolate.”

“And ice cream.”

“And chocolate sauce.”

“And cherries.”

“I already said that.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, but he likes them very much.”

“Yeah, right. And strawberries, too.”

“And chicken soup.”

Kakashi tried to store all the information he received away while at the same time inching backwards. This was creepy. It was nice that they told him what Iruka liked, but it was still creepy.

“And walnut cookies.”

“And gummy bears.”

“And green apples.”

“And fried noodles.”

“And-”

A rather loud cough made the four shinobi freeze.

“Do I want to know what you’re doing here besieging my boyfriend?”, Iruka’s voice asked gently.

“Erm… nothing”, Anko assured.

“Just chatting a little”, Raidou specified.

“That’s right.” Genma nodded. “We’re just chatting with our friend Kakashi.”

“Ah.” Iruka let that syllable hang in the air. Somehow he even managed to make his voice sound as if it arched an eyebrow.

“Iruka…” Kakashi quickly went to the Chuunin’s side. He was not fleeing, no way. He was just… bringing some space between him and the others.

“Kakashi.” Iruka smiled at him gently. “My shift is over already. Would you like to grab something to eat?”

“That would be nice.” Kakashi nodded, then remembered. “Beef ramen?”

“Sounds good.” Iruka’s smile brightened. “How did you know that’s my favourite?”

“I… erm…” Kakashi felt himself blush a little under his mask.

Iruka laughed softly. “Let me guess. Three little birds chirped it to you.”

“Three creepy little birds…”, the Jounin murmured.

Iruka laughed out loud this time. “Let’s go, alright?”

-----

Kakashi would have liked to embrace Iruka, he really would. But walking and embracing at the same time weren’t possible. Poor him.

“Why do you sigh so heavily?” Iruka smiled at him.

“I would like to-” The Jounin frowned when he saw something. “What are they doing there?”

“Who?” Iruka looked into the direction he pointed and at a couple standing in front of a restaurant. “Those two?”

“M-hm.” Kakashi squinted with his eye. “With their hands.”

“Oh, they’re holding hands.” Iruka smiled softly.

“Why?” They didn’t have their hands free like this. And what in case they needed both hands for something suddenly?

“Because like that they can be close to each other. And they can feel each other.”

“And still walk around…” Kakashi frowned. It sounded nice, it really did. But still… He would only have one hand free then. But he would be able to feel Iruka’s warmth. And maybe… maybe it would be a little like embracing?

Still a little unsure whether it was a good idea, the Jounin tugged at his left fingerless glove until he could pull it off, then carefully reached out for Iruka’s right hand. Oh, and it felt warm to hold it. Nice.

“Are you sure?”, Iruka whispered but at the same time entwined their fingers. “We’re in public. I don’t mind at all, but do you really want everybody to see us holding hands?”

“I want to hold your hand”, Kakashi answered simply. He noticed that quite many people were staring at them, some in surprise, some in amusement and joy even, and some in less nice ways. But he found that he couldn’t care less. Iruka’s hand was warm in his and it felt as if it belonged there. And Iruka smiled.

-----

“Iruka, can I ask you something?”, Kakashi asked after he’d wolfed down his miso ramen. He knew he wouldn’t have had to since they’d gotten takeout and went to the Chuunin’s apartment and Iruka never tried to sneak a peek, but old habits were hard to break.

“M-hm?”, Iruka murmured between two slurps of noodles.

The Jounin looked down at his hands, thinking about what he’d learned about holding hands and what had happened the evening before. “Raidou and Genma… Are they… I mean…”

“They are.”

“Oh.” Kakashi frowned. “And they… love each other?”

“I’m absolutely sure about that.”

Kakashi’s frown deepened. “But… then it’s not alright.”

“What isn’t?” Iruka put down his chopsticks and slowly looked up at the Jounin.

“Genma. He… I heard… you know, that he…”

“Sleeps around with just every woman crossing his path”, Iruka finished for him.

“Yes.” Kakashi felt himself blush. Why was it so easy for Iruka to say something so horrible?

“And you think that’s not right?”

“It’s not!” Kakashi shook his head. “He shouldn’t do that! I mean, he’s with Raidou and then he shouldn’t… do that. It certainly hurts Raidou. And Genma shouldn’t do that. If Raidou loves him, then Genma should do anything he can to prevent him getting hurt.” Kakashi knew that he didn’t know much about love, but he was absolutely sure that preventing one’s partner from getting hurt was very important.

To his greatest surprise, Iruka smiled softly and reached out to tenderly stroke over his masked cheek. “I love you.”

“But… but why…”

“Kakashi, I told you that some people… dislike the thought of two men being together.” Iruka’s smile became sad. “Raidou is afraid of that happening to him and Genma.”

“But that’s no reason for Genma to… to sleep around.”

“It’s a reason for Genma to spread rumours about him being with women”, Iruka said softly.

“Rumours?” Kakashi frowned. “You mean they’re not true?”

“Kakashi.” Iruka took his hand. “Genma is spreading these rumours to give other people and especially Raidou’s family the impression that he and Raidou aren’t more than close friends.”

“That… but… oh.”

“Yes, oh.” Iruka sighed. “I know that Genma wants nothing more than to tell everybody how much he loves Raidou, how happy he is with him. But he doesn’t because Raidou is afraid that his family would be disgusted of him then.”

“But why?” Kakashi didn’t understand that.

“I don’t know.” Iruka smiled at him sadly. “And the worst thing about this is that I highly doubt that any of Raidou’s relatives would react badly to him and Genma being together. They’re all wonderful people.”

“But then Raidou should…”

“Take the risk that they could despise him still?” Iruka laughed bitterly. “I don’t know, maybe he should. I don’t know.”

“But… but that’s…” Kakashi sighed. “Humans are weird.”

“We are”, Iruka sighed. “We are.”

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

tbc

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nayru

Teach Me To Love You, Chapter 3

2008-05-22T10:49:54Z

Teach Me To Love You

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 3 – And I didn’t forget.

Oh, Iruka’s hair was so soft. Kakashi carefully took another strand to thicken the one in his fingers. Really soft. His own was rather… wiry, so to say. But Iruka’s was soft and smooth, it felt good to let it flow through his fingers. He’d always wondered why anybody would want long hair, it was certainly not very practical and even could catch somewhere, but this… He just hoped that Iruka would never, never decide to cut it, really. And maybe he could ask him to wear it open more often, so he could touch it and always, always look at it.

“Whatcha doin’?”, Iruka murmured softly, yawning.

“Touching your hair”, Kakashi whispered without letting go of the strand in his fingers. “Please don’t cut it, okay?”

“Hm?” Iruka frowned up at him. “Why should I want to cut my hair?”

“Then it’s good.” Kakashi carefully took yet another strand.

The Chuunin chuckled softly. “I won’t ask, alright?” He closed his eyes and snuggled closer, sighing softly.

Kakashi stiffened a little at first, but then relaxed. Oh, and now the soft hair was even closer to his fingers. Nice.

----- ----- -----

“And then he gave me roses!”, a girl at the market squealed. “Red roses!”

“Really?!”, her friend gasped. “That’s wonderful!”

Kakashi tilted his head while he watched the girls walk away. Flowers, huh?

-----

Kakashi fidgeted nervously on the tree outside of the apartment, his present clutched in his left hand. He was impatiently waiting for Iruka to come home and at the same time hoping that the earth would break up and swallow him before he had to face him. He couldn’t remember ever having been so nervous and uncomfortable about something supposedly trivial before.

He should have gone and bought a bouquet, he couldn’t help but think when he looked at the small flowers in his hand. But he’d been standing in front of the flower shop for two hours, trying to look as if no, he wasn’t looking like he was desperately trying to gather the courage to enter. And then he’d given up and had gone for a desperate search for flowers without women watching him funny around them.

Kakashi sighed and looked at the bunch of flowers in his hand. He wasn’t even sure whether Iruka liked flowers at all, and daisies furthermore. Compared to roses, they looked kind of… small, plain even. But he had found out that he didn’t like roses or lilies or daffodils or all those other pretty flowers. They were too bright, too colourful, too… too much in his opinion. And Iruka wasn’t all that. He wasn’t small or plain either, but he wasn’t too much. He was just… just Iruka. He liked that. Iruka didn’t make him feel stupid or clumsy even if he didn’t understand something human, Iruka just smiled and maybe even laughed softly and then explained it to him once again. He liked that, and he had found that he even liked having Iruka around, that it had become less and less difficult to relax when the Chuunin was with him – or at least ‘relax’ in the shinobi way, he was still working at relaxing the human way.

What was still bothering him though were all those touches, all those embraces. He had managed not to flinch anymore when Iruka did that suddenly, but still… It was dangerous to embrace somebody. Everybody could take advantage of that and attack at right that moment and-

“Kakashi?”

He jumped in surprise and almost fell from the tree but caught himself in the last moment. “I… Iruka?”

“But sure.” The Chuunin smiled at him from the open window. “You were quite lost in thoughts, weren’t you?”

“I… erm…” Kakashi felt himself blush a little. He’d really been lost in thoughts. Out in the open! Without any precautions to protect himself!

“Don’t you want to come in?” Iruka was grinning by now. “You know, as in instead of sitting on that tree? Or you could use the door.”

“Oh… alright.” Kakashi quickly jumped into the apartment, shed his shoes one-handedly and then turned around. “Iruka?”

“Yes?”

Kakashi held out his hand holding the flowers. “For… for you.”

“For me?” Iruka smiled and took them carefully. “Thank you, I was already wondering what you were doing with flowers.”

“I… I held them. To give them to you.” Kakashi almost winced at that. Really eloquent.

“I see.” The smile on the Chuunin’s face stayed gentle and warm, and he smelled at the small flowers. “Is there a special occasion?”

“Yes, it’s our anniversary.” Kakashi grinned proudly. And he hadn’t forgotten that. Go him!

“Our anniversary?”, Iruka asked and frowned. “What anniversary?”

“Our one-week anniversary.” Kakashi practically beamed. “And I didn’t forget.” He’d even looked that word up in a dictionary!

“Our…” Iruka frowned deeper. “But we’ve been together for… for ten days already.”

“Oh.” Kakashi’s smile faltered. “Then you count the time I was on that mission, too?” Oh no, he’d misunderstood again. And he’d missed their real one-week anniversary.

“But sure you count that time”, Iruka said softly, smiling again. “I can’t remember breaking up before you left.”

“Oh…”, Kakashi breathed and looked down at the floor. “I’m sorry that I didn’t do it right.”

“But you did everything perfectly, Kakashi.” A hand came into his view and gently lifted his chin up. “I’m very happy.”

“You are?”

“Yes, so very, very happy.” Iruka placed his hand on the Jounin’s cheek, and Kakashi even managed not to jump away at the touch on his mask, if barely. “Your flowers are wonderful, thank you very much. And it’s really sweet that you want to celebrate our one-week anniversary.”

“Don’t you normally do that?”, Kakashi asked. Had he done that wrong, too?

“I guess most people don’t.” Iruka smiled softly. “But that’s no reason why we shouldn’t. And it doesn’t matter that it’s been more than a week already. We can celebrate our ten-days anniversary.”

“You do that, too? And what about the two-weeks anniversary? And twenty days? And a month, too? And-”

“Kakashi”, Iruka laughed. “Calm down. You don’t have to celebrate any anniversary at all. Only if we both want that.”

“And… and do you want that?”, Kakashi asked carefully. Oh, this was so complicated!

“We don’t have to. We can celebrate whenever you want, there’s no need for a special date.” Iruka smiled. “And I certainly don’t want you to spend all your money on flowers.”

“I… I didn’t buy them. I didn’t like the flowers in the shop.”

“Why not?”

“They were… they weren’t right for you. They were too… too much. Too… shrill. I didn’t like them.” Kakashi sighed. “I’m sounding like an idiot, I know, but I can’t explain it better.”

“No”, Iruka whispered. “I think I understand. So you picked these flowers yourself.”

“M-hm.” Kakashi nodded. “On the ground near the Memorial Stone. There are many of them, you know.” He stepped from one foot to the other. “Do you like them?”

“They’re the best flowers I’ve ever been given. I love them”, Iruka whispered and took a step forward before he embraced him gently. “I love you, Kakashi.”

“Oh, I… I…” Kakashi did his best not to stiffen at the contact while he tried to find the right words to say. ‘I know’ sounded weird, and ‘That’s nice’ probably wasn’t appropriate either, so what-

“You don’t have to say anything”, he heard Iruka whisper softly. “Just promise me that you’ll never say that you love me if you don’t really do it, okay?”

“Okay”, Kakashi whispered back and carefully placed his arms around his waist. He wanted to say those words to Iruka one day, and he would do his best to achieve that.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi was bored. Really bored. And that was… unusual. Usually, he could slouch against a wall or sit on a tree and stay there the whole day while dozing and napping on and off. But now he could barely sit still for some minutes and then had to go and move or do something. He was even considering challenging Gai.

Weird…

He’d just go and search new stones with holes for Iruka. And then go to the Academy afterwards and watch Iruka teach.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi awoke and immediately had to suppress the urge to jump and draw a weapon and attack. He swallowed and reminded himself that it was only Iruka lying on him with almost all of his body, only Iruka who would never hurt him, only Iruka who loved him. And that the curtains weren’t shut completely wasn’t a problem either, nobody would try to attack him by throwing a kunai at him when he wasn’t able to stand up or move properly. And that attacker wouldn’t succeed in doing that although he couldn’t move fast enough, and he would also not succeed in hurting Iruka although the Chuunin lay on him, and he couldn’t pierce his throat with the kunai and not kill Iruka and not kill Iruka andnotkillIrukaandnotkillIrukaand-

Kakashi bolted. In less than ten seconds he had thrown Iruka and the bed sheets to the floor not visible from the window, jumped up from the bed, drawn two kunais and five shuriken and closed the curtains. He was just taking a deep, calming breath in his crouched position next to the window when Iruka’s head emerged from the sheets.

“Kakashi!”, the Chuunin yelled, his eyes wide in shock. “What happened?!”

“I…” Kakashi wasn’t really sure how to explain himself suddenly.

“Did you have a bad dream?” Iruka wriggled free from the sheets and approached him, then reached out with his arms to embrace him. “Everything’s fine, I’m here for you if you want.”

“No.” Kakashi shook his head and crawled a little backwards. “It’s just… I… you… you were too close.”

“Too close?”, Iruka asked with wide eyes.

“Yes. You know, too close. Like in… in…” Kakashi bit his lip under his mask. “You’re always coming close and lying on me and that and… and that… it’s dangerous.”

“Dangerous?”

“Yes.” Kakashi nodded. He’d meant to tell the Chuunin that for a while by now, that he couldn’t take the risk to be attacked and unable to move and defend himself and Iruka. It just was too dangerous.

“I don’t understand…”, Iruka murmured and looked away.

“You… you know, you always come close and… and cling to me and… and that’s dangerous.” Kakashi sighed. “I don’t… I don’t like that.” He didn’t like the feeling to be unprepared, vulnerable, in danger. And he didn’t like the thought of Iruka being in danger.

“You don’t like it when I… when I’m close to you?”, Iruka whispered, still looking at the floor. “And when I… when I embrace you?”

“Yes, that’s what I mean. That embracing and all that.” Kakashi nodded, relieved that the Chuunin saw his point. “That’s dangerous.”

“I see.” Iruka looked up and for a second, the Copy-nin could see an utterly pained expression on his face, but then an obviously faked smile replaced that. “That’s… that’s fine”, the Chuunin said cheerily, the frozen smile still in place. “If… if you don’t want me to touch you, then… then I just will stop it. Alright? I mean, it’s no big deal and all, and… and… and…” He gasped softly.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi asked, concerned. “Iruka, is something wrong?” He had upset the Chuunin, it seemed, but he couldn’t quite grab how.

“Everything’s perfect.” Iruka smiled brightly, cheerily, falsely. “Perfect. I will… I will just… just stop it, that’s alright.” He swallowed hard. “I will make breakfast now.” And with that, he stood up hastily and hurried out of the room.

Kakashi looked at the open door, confused beyond anytime he’d experienced yet. Obviously, something wasn’t right with Iruka, something was even completely wrong. And it had to be his fault, he was certain of that. But he had only wanted to protect the Chuunin, just make sure that he was safe and sound and not in danger because of him.

The thought that he had hurt Iruka again made Kakashi’s chest clench painfully.

“Iruka?”, he asked softly and left the bedroom. “Iruka, please tell me what I did wrong.” He saw the Chuunin stand in the kitchen, his head bent over the sink. “Iruka?”

“It’s… fine”, Iruka whispered, straightened up and looked out of the window, his back still towards the Jounin. “It’s alright if you don’t l-like it when I’m close to you.”

“It’s not fine”, Kakashi murmured. “You lie to me.”

“So?” He heard the Chuunin laugh bitterly. “And that bothers you? You were lying to me, too.”

“That’s not true!”, Kakashi gasped. “I didn’t-”

“You did”, Iruka interrupted him. “But that doesn’t matter, now does it? It doesn’t matter that you don’t really want to love me. Not to you at least.”

“But I want that!”, Kakashi defended himself. “I think I’ve never wanted anything as much as that.”

“It’s alright, Kakashi-sensei.” Iruka shook his head. “You can stop pretending now. And I have to congratulate you on your choice of punishment for me. You couldn’t have hurt me worse.”

“But I don’t pretend that”, Kakashi whispered, his throat thick from fear and hurt at seeing Iruka hurt. “I don’t do that.” He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what he’d done wrong and how to make it right again. And he wanted to make it right, wanted to stop the hurt in the Chuunin’s voice and the pain inside himself.

“Just go”, Iruka whispered. “Please, just go, Kakashi-sensei, and don’t… don’t ever come back. I learned my lesson, believe me.”

“No.” Kakashi shook his head desperately. “I don’t want to go. I want to learn to love you and to become human and I want to stay here and-”

“Go!”, Iruka shouted suddenly and his whole body started to shake. “You had your fun with me, now go!”

“No, please!” Kakashi didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to lose his one and only chance to change. He didn’t want to lose Iruka.

Without thinking about it, Kakashi jumped forward and clutched the Chuunin’s body from behind to his chest desperately. If he had to, he would just hold Iruka like this forever, just refuse to let him go ever again. He wasn’t going to let him go, wasn’t going to let his only chance slip from him.

“I don’t want to go”, he whispered into Iruka’s neck, refusing to listen to his senses telling him that his back was towards a window and he had no weapons and should better get the hell away from that open position. “I don’t want to go, Iruka. Please don’t send me away, I will try to make it good again, I promise. Just tell me what I did wrong and I will make it good again, please, Iruka.”

“What you did wrong?”, the Chuunin whispered, his body stiff in the embrace. “You want to tell me that you don’t know? Kakashi-sensei, that’s ridiculous. Please stop this now and leave me alone.”

“I don’t know, really, Iruka.” Kakashi tightened his embrace. “I just… I just woke up and you were on me and I couldn’t move properly and the curtains were open and everybody could have seen and attacked us. I just wanted to make sure that we’re safe.”

“Safe? We’re in the middle of the town. And on the first floor.”

“I know…” Kakashi sighed. “I know that. And I know that it’s unlikely that somebody attacks us, but…” He sighed again. “I can never be sure that I’m safe. I have many enemies, and now there’s also you and you’re in danger because of me and I had to protect you.”

“You… wanted to protect me?”, he heard Iruka whisper, his body tensing even more. “Is… You’re not lying?”

“No, I’m not, I promise. I wanted to protect you.” The Jounin carefully loosened his grip around him not to hurt him but still refused to let go. “And I can’t do that properly when you’re lying on me or standing in front of me too closely or embracing me.”

“Is that why you don’t like to be close to me?”

“Yes. No.” Kakashi sighed. “I… I think I like to be close to you. It’s warm and… and it feels weird, but a nice kind of weird. But it’s dangerous.”

“Then… then you didn’t mean it?”, Iruka whispered, trembling softly. “You didn’t mean that you don’t like to be with me? And you didn’t want to hurt me?”

“No”, Kakashi whispered back when all of what he’d done to the Chuunin by saying something so stupid came crashing down on him suddenly. “I’m sorry that I hurt you again, Iruka. I didn’t mean to do that. I didn’t understand that it would hurt you if I said things like that.”

“It’s… it’s alright.” Iruka nodded, his body relaxing a good bit, and turned his head to look at him. “It’s alright. I think I overreacted. It’s just… it’s just that I thought suddenly that you had been playing with me all the time. And that you hated to be with me. And… and now that I know how it is to be with you and hope that you will love me back one day… I couldn’t stand the thought that it should have been all faked.”

“It’s not faked, Iruka”, Kakashi whispered. “I… I don’t want it to be faked. I want to become human and learn to love you.”

“That makes me happy, Kakashi”, Iruka whispered. “You can’t imagine how much.”

“That’s good.” The Jounin smiled softly. “I like to see you happy.”

“Is that why you’re still holding me? It’s fine, Kakashi, you can let me go now if you’re uncomfortable with it.” Iruka sighed. “It won’t be easy but I will try not to come too close to you anymore.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t think about it”, Kakashi whispered in utter surprise. “I didn’t notice that I still…” He let go of Iruka and took a step back.

“And… and now?” The Chuunin turned around to him and looked at him with so much hope in his eyes that Kakashi’s breath hitched at the intensity. “Do you think that you can… can get used to it?”

“I…” The Copy-nin frowned. It was true, he hadn’t felt uncomfortable at all when he’d been able to forget about the open window and just focused on Iruka alone. At first he’d wanted to have the Chuunin close to him so he wouldn’t lose his chance to become human, and then he’d stopped thinking about it at all.

But it had felt good, he realised suddenly. Once Iruka had started to believe him and relaxed, it had felt… good to hold him, warm and nice and… and alive. He’d liked it.

“Kakashi?”, Iruka whispered softly. “You don’t have to decide anything now.”

“Can we try it again?”, Kakashi asked. “I mean, can I embrace you again?”

Iruka’s eyes became wide. “Yes”, he breathed. “Yes, I want that.” He stepped forward and raised his arms to wrap them around the Jounin’s neck.

“No.” Kakashi shook his head. “Not like that, please. Can’t you… can’t you embrace me around the waist?” That way, he would have his arms completely free just in case it should be necessary.

“Okay.” Iruka smiled and nodded, then did as wished before he placed his head against the Jounin’s shoulder.

“Okay…” Kakashi slowly lifted his arms and wrapped them around the Chuunin carefully, then waited. He knew about the windows with the open curtains right behind and in front of him but tried to ignore them. Iruka was right, there was nothing to worry about. They were in Konoha and nobody except the Hokage knew that he was with the Chuunin. He didn’t have to worry, he could focus on how it felt to hold Iruka in his arms.

It felt… weird.

Kakashi smiled. The good kind of weird. The good, warm, nice kind of weird.

“It feels good”, he whispered softly.

“Really?”, Iruka whispered back. “Then do you mean that… we can do it from now on? Sometimes at least? We can close the curtains if you want.”

“That would be nice.” Kakashi nodded. “I want to do this more often from now on.” He liked it very much, he realised, to have a warm, so very alive Iruka so close to him. Iruka was so very, very human, so alive. The Jounin wanted to become just like him and he had the – rather stupid, he knew that – impression that if he held him close, he would get there faster.

Why he hadn’t realised that sooner was completely beyond him.

“Mmmmh…”, Iruka sighed softly. “Go back to bed?”

“Good idea.” Kakashi reluctantly let go and waited for Iruka to go to the bedroom before he followed and crawled back into the bed beside him. Without thinking about it, he immediately pulled Iruka close again to lie next to his side. Warm. Warrrrrm.

“I’m happy”, the Chuunin whispered. “I’m so very happy that you allow me to be close to you. I didn’t realise how much it bothered you at first, but… but that you decided to let me close makes me feel warm.”

“M-hm.” Kakashi nodded. He too felt warm, and that Iruka felt the same made him feel something else, something like happiness, but even stronger.

The Chuunin chuckled softly. “You know, we just got through our first fight.”

“Oh. That’s good?”

“It’s good that we got through it.” Iruka tilted his head up and smiled. “I love you, Kakashi.”

“I…” Kakashi wanted to answer something, wanted to say something to him that made him happy. “Iruka, I…” He smiled when an idea came. “I want to love you, Iruka.”

Iruka’s smile was nothing less than perfect.

----- ----- -----

There was a little scar on the back of Iruka’s left hand. It was almost not visible, only a thin white line on the tan skin. Other than that, the Chuunin’s hands were free of scars. They were calloused, that too, but there were no more scars, like on Kakashi’s pale ones. And something else was different, apart from scars and colour. Iruka’s fingers were a little bit shorter than his, and a little thicker than his own. They looked less bony and somehow healthier and-

“Aren’t you done staring at my hands yet?”, Iruka chuckled. “The water’s boiling and I really should go and make the tea now.”

“I like your hands”, Kakashi murmured and turned the one in his grip to look at the palm. “They’re warm.” And they were gentle, always so gentle when they touched him.

“That’s because you hold them.” Iruka carefully squeezed the Jounin’s hands. “You make me feel warm, Kakashi.”

“Oh.” Kakashi frowned. “Really?” Like Iruka made him feel warm?

“Really”, the Chuunin laughed.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi fidgeted, unsure whether or not he should say something. But he couldn’t stand this anymore, or no, he didn’t want to have to stand this anymore. Iruka wasn’t like that, normally, and he had to tell him about what that cursed stuff did to him.

“You shouldn’t drink so much coffee.”

Iruka looked up, blinking. “I’m sorry?”

“You shouldn’t drink so much coffee”, Kakashi repeated. The mug standing on his table was the seventh of the day already. And it was a big mug. And Iruka drank his coffee black.

“I…” The Chuunin arched an eyebrow. “And why not?”

“Because you don’t sleep well if you’ve drunk much coffee during the day. I know that because you keep rolling around when we’re in bed. I can’t sleep then either.” Not to mention how often Iruka had to go to the bathroom to get rid of the coffee.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry if I keep you awake.” The eyebrow was lifted even higher. “If I had known that I rob the famous Copy-nin’s sleep…”

“And you’re not very nice if you’ve drunk too much coffee”, Kakashi murmured. “Like now. You don’t need to be mean to me.” That was worst, although he knew that Iruka didn’t do it intentionally. It was just the mean, bad, evil coffee speaking.

Iruka’s eyes widened. “I… I was… Oh, Kakashi.” He quickly jumped up from his chair and hurried over to embrace him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Kakashi hugged him tightly. “I don’t mind if you’re snappy every once in a while. You don’t mean it, do you?”

“No, I don’t mean to be mean to you.” Iruka hid his face in his neck. “I’m so sorry.”

“You should better drink tea, I think”, Kakashi suggested. Would probably increase the number of bathroom breaks but decrease the snappiness.

“Maybe.” Iruka sighed. “I don’t normally drink so much coffee, it’s just… Final exams are almost up and I also have to grade homework of two more classes because one of my colleagues is sick and another’s just given birth and is still on leave. I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t know you had so much to do.” He’d never known how much the Chuunin worked before having a relationship with him. Considering school, mission desk, Hokage paperwork and missions, Iruka probably worked more than any other person in the village.

“There’s no reason for you to bother.”

“There is”, Kakashi contradicted. “You’re not happy and I don’t like it when you’re not happy. And that’s why I’ll help you if I can.” Now that he too meant work for Iruka.

“You don’t have to”, Iruka whispered.

“I want to.” Kakashi carefully tilted the Chuunin’s face up with a finger on his chin and smiled at him. “I’ll make you tea first and something to eat, and then I’ll get you a pillow to sit on and then… Can I help you with the grading, too?”

“Maybe.” Iruka smiled softly. “I’ll see whether you can. Thank you so much.”

“I could take over your shifts at the mission desk, too”, Kakashi offered. And have a little talk with Tsunade about overworked and stressed Chuunin.

“I’d really like to see that.” A grin bloomed on Iruka’s face. “Little Genin scared out of their minds at the thought that they have to give their reports to the famous Copy-nin.”

“I would be nice to them.” A little.

“But sure.” Iruka grinned broader. “And would you be on time, too?”

“Erm… I’ll go make you tea now.”

----- ----- -----

He was on a mission. A hunt even. His prey? Unsuspecting, defenseless. His opponent? Fierce, protecting, menacing. But he would succeed. He w-

“Don’t you dare to touch the cookies. They’re for Anko.”

Damn. Caught.

“You can be as sneaky as you want, my Sensei Senses will catch you anyway.” Iruka laughed. “Honed by years of having an eye on Naruto.”

“But Iruka…” Kakashi eyed the cookies longingly. “They smell really good.” And they looked good, too. Almost black from all the chocolate in the dough and the small chocolate chips.

“They’re for Anko.”

“But Irukaaa…”

“They’re Get-Well-Soon-From-Stumbling-Over-A-Stone-And-Spraining-Your-Ankle-After-Coming-Home-From-Your-S-Class-Mission-Cookies for Anko, and they’re counted”, the Chuunin specified. “You’ll only get some of them if you do the same mess as her.”

“You want me to sprain my ankle?”, Kakashi grumbled. But hmm… the cookies definitely looked worth it.

“I want you to sprain your ankle if you want these exact cookies. If you want cookies completely similar to these but not made for Anko, you just have to ask me to make some for you.” Iruka smirked.

“When?”

“Right after I brought these to Anko?”

“Mmmh… okay.” Kakashi smiled.

“Want to help?”

“Never made cookies before.”

“It’s easy, I’ll teach you.” Iruka came over and embraced him. “You can even lick out the bowl afterwards, I’ll show you how to do that, too.”

“I’m not a dog.” Kakashi frowned.

“More for me then. Your loss.”

-----

“Iruka?”

“Mrh-hm?” And a slurp. And a happy sigh afterwards.

“May I still try licking out the bowl?”

----- ----- -----

“My Eternal Rival! In the Springtime of my Youth I finally found yourrghrgh!” And then there was silence.

Kakashi did his best not to gape. But it was hard, seeing that Gai was speechless.

“Gai-sensei.” Iruka smiled at the Green Beast crouching on his windowsill but didn’t let go of Kakashi’s waist. “What a pleasure to meet you.”

“Iruka-sensei…” Gai blinked once, twice. “Eternal Rival…”

Kakashi heard the Chuunin chuckle softly before Iruka snuggled his face back into his chest. “That’s right, Gai-sensei. That’s us. You’re very observant today, aren’t you?”

“Gai, what do you want?”, Kakashi asked. He would bet anything that his self-declared rival had come up with another challenge. And that while he would really prefer to keep embracing Iruka for the rest of the day.

“I want… I… I…”

“Didn’t you ask him how to compliment me?”, Iruka asked softly. “Shouldn’t he know about us?”

“I asked him.” Kakashi frowned. But who knew what Gai had thought under his bowl-cut…

“Maybe he thought you wanted to make me a Youthful Compliment for being such a Devoted Chuunin and Honourable Sensei!” Iruka sniggered.

“Please don’t do that ever again”, Kakashi pleaded.

“Aww, but Genma always says I’m good at imitating people…”

“That’s the problem.” The Copy-nin shuddered. No. Just no.

“Alright…” The Chuunin chuckled.

“Gai?” Kakashi arched a questioning eyebrow at him. Better to get this over with.

“I…” Konoha’s Green Beast suddenly flashed him a blinding grin. “My Eternal Rival! I feel deeply ashamed and Youthfully Delighted at the same time that you found True Love before me!”

“Oh, actually I forced him to find me.” Iruka sniggered softly.

“What do you want, Gai?”, Kakashi asked quickly to hide the fact that he felt a slight blush creeping over his masked face.

“Yes!” Gai gave him a thumb-up. “I came to challenge you, my Eternal Rival! We shall test our Youthful Strength in a Fight of Honour!”

The Copy-nin sighed. “Do I have to?” He wouldn’t have minded a little sparring match, but not when he could spend the time with Iruka instead.

“I have mission desk duty in ten minutes”, the Chuunin whispered. “Double shift.”

Oh, in that case… “Alright, Gai. We’ll meet at the training grounds in eleven minutes.” Which meant thirty minutes. He liked to watch Iruka work and coming a little late had never hurt anybody, now had it?

-----

“My Eternal Rival!”, Gai half panted and half shouted. “I have to… admit my… Shameful Defeat!”

“Already?” Kakashi frowned. His sparring matches with Gai never lasted less long than three hours of chasing, fighting and hiding. And this time they’d barely spent two hours on it.

“The Youthful Iruka-sensei must truly give you Strength with his Wonderful Love!”, Gai declared.

“Not so loud!”, Kakashi hissed, blushing under his mask. And that was nonsense. He didn’t spar with Iruka, so how should Iruka give him more strength?

“I am delighted despite your Hip Attitude, my Rival! It fills my Youthful Heart with Happiness to see you so Admirably Strong and Healthy! I shall use all my Youthfulness to become just as Springtimely Strong!”

“Erm… yes.” Kakashi took out his book and walked away quickly, sure that Gai had finally lost his last marble.

----- ----- -----

Iruka was doing it again. A smooth, perfect movement of his hand. And again. And again.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi whispered softly.

“Hm?” The Chuunin looked up from his grading, his left hand already half in the air again.

“May I do it for you?”

“Do what?” Iruka frowned.

“May I stroke back your hair behind your ear for you?”, Kakashi asked hopefully, his uncovered eye glued to the strands of brown hair fallen out of Iruka’s low pony-tail.

“If you want.” Iruka smiled at him.

“Yes, please.” The Jounin hurried over to him and sat down on his left side. Carefully he lifted his hand and tenderly stroked the brown tresses back. And then again. And again.

“Feels good”, Iruka whispered softly.

“M-hm.” Kakashi didn’t move his gaze away from his hair. “Soft. And warm.”

“Your fingers too.” A hand gently captured his, then a soft kiss was placed on his knuckles. “I could get used to you doing this every day from now on.”

“May I?”, Kakashi asked hopefully.

“Yes, please.” Iruka smiled.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

tbc

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

AN:
I’m sorry for the long wait but my job’s stressing me a little at the moment and between work and my friends and my boyfriend I hardly find time to write anymore. But still there will be more chapters, it just might take some weeks until the next one.

Nayru

Teach Me To Love You, Chapter 2

2008-04-27T14:09:03Z

Teach Me To Love You

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 2 – But wouldn’t weapons show that I care?

Kakashi watched Iruka move in the kitchen and make pancakes while he thought about how the Chuunin had already changed his life. Before Iruka, he’d never slept so close to another person, never even wanted to be this close at all, and he’d also never had breakfast with anybody after waking up right beside them. And he’d never felt the wish to feel before. Or at least never realised it.

He’d also never before been so frightened.

“Would you like apples in your pancakes?”, Iruka asked.

“I…” Kakashi frowned and looked at his back, once again marveling about how easy, how trusting and carefree Iruka was while being around him. “I don’t know. I never had pancakes with apples.” But apples… apples were alright, healthy, easy to find and nutritious. Good shinobi food. He often ate apples.

“Oh, apple pancakes are good.” The Chuunin turned towards him and smiled. “But if you want, I also have cinnamon. Or syrup. Or you could have all of it at once. Naruto always does that, it’s a huge mess but he says it’s good.” The smile became even warmer, brighter.

“You know…” Kakashi bit his lower lip. “I never had pancakes with cinnamon or syrup either.” Cinnamon and syrup weren’t what a shinobi was supposed to eat to stay in shape, he guessed. That and he didn’t really trust Naruto’s taste. That kid ate chicken ramen with strawberry jam, he’d seen it.

“Not?” Iruka frowned. “Then you want them without anything?”

“No, I…” The Jounin looked down at his hands. “I never had pancakes at all.” He could feel himself blush in embarrassment although he wasn’t sure why never having eaten pancakes was something to be embarrassed about. But luckily his mask covered it.

“You… Never?”, he heard Iruka ask incredulously.

“M-mh.” Kakashi shook his head. Pancakes were for humans, for living, feeling humans, not for shinobi.

“Then you will have some with apples and syrup and cinnamon now”, Iruka declared. “And maybe I even have some of Naruto’s chocolate syrup left somewhere. Or jam. And I won’t let you stand up from that table again before you haven’t at least tried everything. Oh, and I will make vanilla sauce for you, too.”

Kakashi looked up at him in surprise to see the Chuunin smile at him gently. “Yes, please”, he whispered.

Pancakes. Pancakes were for humans. And Iruka would help him to become one.

-----

“It’s weird”, Iruka whispered.

“Hm?”, Kakashi questioned and looked up at the Chuunin’s back from his empty plate he’d just taken the last bite of pancake from. They had been great. He’d never known that something as good as apple pancakes even existed. And apple pancakes with vanilla sauce. So, so, sooo good! Maybe, if he was really good, Iruka would make them more often for him? He very much hoped so.

“It’s weird”, the Chuunin repeated without turning around. “I’m a teacher, and I thought about it for nearly an hour now, but still I don’t know how I shall teach you how to love me.”

“Do you mean… that you can’t do it?”, Kakashi whispered sadly. But he wanted it. He wanted to know how it was to be human and to feel and to love. He wanted… he wanted to have apple pancakes and vanilla sauce and everything else that came with being a human.

“I don’t know.” Iruka turned around very slowly and only looked at him after the Copy-nin had quickly pulled up his mask again. “It’s different from everything else I have taught yet. It’s… it’s so very different from anything before and so much more important to me personally. And I’m a little afraid that I might not be able to do it although I want it so much.”

“But you will try?”, Kakashi asked hopefully.

“Yes.” Iruka smiled at him. “I will try my best. You probably can’t imagine what it means to me to be able to try and make you love me. I just don’t exactly know how to do it.” He sighed. “But I think that maybe it would be a good start to… to…” The Chuunin bit his lower lip.

“Yes?” Kakashi would do anything if it gave him the chance to change. He didn’t want to fade anymore, wanted to live finally.

“I thought that… that maybe we should have a relationship, you know”, Iruka whispered and blushed deeply. “I mean, not a real relationship, but… No. I mean, still a real relationship because it will be real if we both want to love each other, but… but without anything physical at the beginning. Just… just being together and getting to know each other better and… and trying to make you love me.”

“A relationship?” Kakashi had never had a relationship. But then, relationships were for humans, just like pancakes, and he wanted to become human. There was only one thing… “Can I sleep here if we have a relationship? In your bed? Next to you?”

“Sleep here?” Iruka blushed softly. “If… if you want…”

“Then it’s okay.” As long as he could sleep next to Iruka.

“Okay?” Iruka smiled hesitantly at first, then more confidently. “Okay.” He nodded.

“Okay.” Kakashi looked at the Chuunin, then at his hands. He had a relationship with Iruka now, a real relationship. He didn’t feel different though, but maybe that would come later. For now, he had a relationship.

“It’s rather awkward, isn’t it?”, Iruka murmured. “I mean… to start it by negotiating the terms almost.”

“Don’t relationships normally start like that?”, Kakashi asked. “If you allow somebody to come close to you, don’t you necessarily have to make sure both know what’s alright and what isn’t?” He would do it like that, but that probably was the shinobi way, not the human way.

“Oh.” He could see Iruka frown deeply. “I think you’re right, Kakashi.” The Chuunin smiled broadly. “Yes. Yes, you’re right.”

“Yes?!” The Jounin’s eyes widened in surprise. He had been right? About something human?!

“Yes.” Iruka grinned. “It seems I’m a better teacher than I thought. Or it’s just that you’re the genius you’re supposed to be.” He turned around to the stove. “Do you want more pancakes?”

“Yes, please. With apples. And vanilla sauce.” Kakashi tried a small smile under his mask, imitating the Chuunin. Not a bright, don’t-annoy-me or I-try-to-annoy-you smile but a small, honest, warm smile like Iruka’s. It felt a little unusual to do so, but it was okay. And he had a relationship, he’d understood something human and he would get even more apple pancakes. Becoming human was quite nice.

----- ----- -----

Being shinobi sometimes sucked.

Kakashi couldn’t help but scowl darkly while he limped his way towards the Hokage Tower to hand in his mission report. He’d taken down five missing nin on his own, on a mission which’s information had made him expect at most two. Numbers one to three hadn’t been a huge problem, at least not in the terms of missing nin, and number four had just managed to get a little cut on his arm, but number five had surprised him and almost ripped his leg off with an earth jutsu before he’d been able to take her down. That he’d been able to copy the jutsu was only a small comfort for his slightly mangled leg.

But now that he was back finally, he would have time to spend with Iruka on becoming human. He wasn’t sure whether to count the three days spent on the mission to the time of their relationship, but if that was the case, then he had a relationship for three and a half days already. Wow…

“Report Hatake Kakashi”, he greeted the Hokage the moment he entered her office, then summed up the events of his mission before he just stood there and let her heal his worst injuries.

Was it allowed to visit one’s… relationship partner? Boyfriend? Intended lover? Well, was he allowed to visit Iruka in the middle of the night when just back from a mission? The next day, or more the actual day was a Sunday if he wasn’t mistaken, so Iruka didn’t have work. And he hadn’t slept at all on the mission. And he really, really wanted to sleep next to the Chuunin and maybe even get apple pancakes for breakfast. But was that allowed? It was rather late, or early already. And he was quite dirty. And smelly. But he really would have liked apple pancakes…

“Alright. Now take these pills to help your chakra refill itself, then go and get some sleep”, Tsunade ordered. “You’ve lost quite a lot of blood, your chakra’s dangerously low and you look like shit.”

“I don’t need pills.” Kakashi eyed them suspiciously. He rather stayed undrugged. The room was spinning enough already.

“Pills or hospital.”

“Pills.” He took them and swallowed them dry, his movements too fast for Tsunade to catch a glimpse at his face.

“You’ll take tomorrow off. The pills will make you rather dizzy”, she ordered.

“Yes, Hokage-sama”, Kakashi answered absentmindedly, then turned around and slowly walked out of the office, feeling himself sway slightly from drugs, exhaustion and chakra depletion. Maybe he shouldn’t wake Iruka in the middle of the night. It wasn’t particularly nice to do such a thing. And maybe he would be able to sleep without the Chuunin next to him. Oh, he was sooo tired… But still… apple pancakes…

Kakashi sighed. He wished he could have asked Iruka how to behave if a mission took him out of the village and back in the middle of the night. But the mission had been urgent and therefore he’d just barely had the time to tell the Chuunin that he had had to leave. Although he would have preferred to stay in the village and learn more about being human from Iruka. But how should he do that if missions kept taking his time? And what if Iruka decided one day that it took too long and just stopped trying to teach him?

Kakashi stopped dead in his steps. He couldn’t let that happen!

Decision made, the Jounin let the seals for a transportation jutsu follow immediately, even if it took the last remains of his chakra reserves. “Yo.”

“Gah! Hatake!” Tsunade jumped. “Are you nuts?! You can’t just jutsu into my office!”

“I can’t take any missions in the next time”, Kakashi told her. He was distinctly aware that it would have been politer and therefore more human if he had apologised for surprising her first, but politeness wasn’t easy to understand for him. He would ask Iruka to help him with that matter later. When the ground wouldn’t sway that much anymore.

“No missions? Why not?” Tsunade eyed him suspiciously. “Are your injuries worse than I thought? Or are you sick? Your file says the last time you didn’t want any missions was when you had two broken legs and a fractured skull.”

“I have a relationship now”, Kakashi told her proudly, hearing his voice sound a little muffled and strange in his ears. “With Iruka. And he made me apple pancakes.” Mmmmh… apple pancakes…

“That’s… really nice”, the Sannin said slowly. “Are you sure you aren’t sick?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Kakashi nodded but stopped immediately when it made him even dizzier. “I just need time to learn how to love Iruka.” And he couldn’t risk that the Chuunin lost patience with him and stopped making him human.

“Ooookay…” Tsunade slowly inched back in her chair. “Does Iruka-sensei know about that?”

“But sure.” The Copy-nin frowned. “How should we have negotiated the terms otherwise?” Didn’t she know anything about relationships? No wonder Jiraiya didn’t dare to ask her out…

“Riiight…” Tsunade stood up from her chair and walked towards the door, keeping her back to the wall and her eyes on Kakashi. “Shizune? Shizune?!”

“Yes, Tsunade-sama?” Her assistant poked her head inside. “What happened?”

“Could you please go and check on Iruka-sensei right now? Just… just make sure he isn’t… tied up on his bed or something? And ask him if he had any… incidents with Hatake Kakashi in the last time?”

“Three and a half days”, Kakashi told her, but to his greatest confusion the two women didn’t seem impressed. “More like three and three quarters days?”, he tried again but only got two shocked stares in return. Maybe one didn’t count the time spent away from the other to the relationship then… This was so complicated.

“Hurry!”, Tsunade advised her assistant.

“Right.” Shizune nodded and ran off.

“Okay, Kakashi”, the Sannin said slowly. “I want you to stay exactly where you are, do you understand? I don’t want to have to call my ANBU here, alright?”

“But I want apple pancakes”, Kakashi murmured. Why was Shizune allowed to visit Iruka in the middle of the night while he had to stay here with her and her ANBU? He was the one having a relationship with the Chuunin, so didn’t that mean that he should be the one to visit him? And what if Shizune ate all his-

“You will get apple pancakes”, Tsunade assured, then muttered, “Or a nice padded cell…”

“Apple pancakes”, Kakashi insisted. “With vanilla sauce.” He didn’t want a padded cell, he wanted apple pancakes. “Can I go and ask Iruka to make some for me?” He made a step towards the door, but then stumbled suddenly and almost fell, catching himself in the last moment on the Hokage’s desk.

“Alright. Sit down before you kill yourself.” Tsunade sighed. “And tell me what this is all about.”

“I have a relationship with Iruka”, Kakashi told her while he carefully sat down on a rather bucking chair. “He helps me to become human. He teaches me to love him.”

The Sannin sighed and shook her head. “Kakashi, what did he say to that?”

“He said that he wants to teach me.” The Copy-nin blinked when his eye threatened to close on its own. “And he says that he loves me although I don’t understand how he can do that.”

Tsunade frowned. “You don’t understand that?”

“M-mh.” Kakashi slowly shook his head. “I’m shinobi. I’m not here to be loved. But still he says he does.” He noticed that he still shook his head and stopped. “I want to learn how to have emotions. I don’t want to fade anymore.”

“And Iruka-sensei said that he wants to help you? And that he loves you?” The Sannin’s voice suddenly was gentler than Kakashi had ever heard, but that were probably the drugs, he decided.

“M-hm.” He nodded. “But if I have to go on missions very often, maybe he someday won’t want it anymore. Maybe he’ll stop loving me then. I don’t want that. I want him to teach me.”

“I understand.” Tsunade smiled softly at him. “And I will not send you on missions anymore unless it’s very urgent, alright? I’ll just give you all the free days you’ve never taken in your life. But only if you promise to do your best and try to learn how to love Iruka-sensei.”

“Alright.” Kakashi nodded, then looked up when the door opened. The sight that greeted him was rather unusual, granted, but it still instantly calmed his nerves.

“Tsunade-sama?”, Iruka gasped when he hurried inside the room, with his hair unbound and only dressed in a t-shirt, some boxers and an open bathrobe. “Shizune-san said that Kakashi’s here? Why do you want to see me? Is he-” He broke off when he caught sight of the Copy-nin, then immediately flew to his side. “Kakashi! How do you feel?”

“Tired”, the Jounin murmured. “I-” When Iruka suddenly wrapped his arms around him, he gasped a little, but other than that stayed still. His mind screamed to push the Chuunin away, that he wouldn’t be able to defend himself in his weakened state, but his exhausted body just let it happen. And it felt quite warm to have Iruka close, nice…

“I’m so happy that you’re back”, Iruka whispered. “I was worried.”

“Were only five…”, Kakashi told him. “No problem…”

“Oh, you stupid…” Iruka released him and straightened up. “I don’t care if they were alone or five or fifty. I was worried about you.” He smiled softly. “I’m so glad that you’re back.”

“Then you will make apple pancakes for me?”, Kakashi asked hopefully.

“Apple pancakes?” Iruka laughed. “If you want that.”

“He didn’t think of anything else”, Tsunade said. “Oh, except for that he has to learn how to love you fast to make sure that you don’t stop loving him first.”

“I want to become human”, Kakashi whispered. And apple pancakes.

“Oh, Kakashi.” Iruka crouched down next to his chair and took one of his hands. “You don’t have to worry that I will stop loving you, alright? That won’t happen.”

“Okay.” Kakashi sighed in relief. “I even took a leave to have more time to learn.” He tried a tentative Iruka-smile, an I-mean-it smile, noticing that it was easier than the last time already.

“Really?”, Iruka asked and smiled back.

“Really”, Tsunade told him. “And I want you to do your best to teach him, sensei.” She grinned. “It’s about time the brat finally gets something good in his life.”

“Oh.” Iruka blushed. “I… I will.”

“And make me apple pancakes?”, Kakashi inquired softly. “Tomorrow? No, today? For breakfast?”

“Yes.” The Chuunin smiled. “I will make you apple pancakes. With vanilla sauce. And if you want, I will also make you waffles and muffins and chocolate cake and anything else you want.”

“M-hm.” Kakashi nodded. He’d never had waffles or muffins or chocolate cake before. But if they were anything like apple pancakes, he would make sure to not miss any of them.

----- ----- -----

Iruka looked younger when he slept, much younger. And more vulnerable, but not in a defenseless way. Only… more fragile somehow. And peaceful. Kakashi found that he liked to look at him.

Well, he would have liked to sleep more, too, but somehow he couldn’t anymore. He’d had… hmmm… seven hours of sleep in a row and now he was wide awake. He’d never had this before. He always had needed at least twelve hours of sleep each night, or not sleep, no, more time to try to sleep, then sleep a little, then wake up and then try to sleep again and convince himself that the horrible things he’d seen had only been a dream. But now he slept next to Iruka, he only had to close his eyes and then he could sleep for hours.

And watching Iruka while he slept was good, too. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so… calm.

----- ----- -----

“Hey, Kakashi!”

Kakashi stopped in his walk to the mission room and instead took a step back and looked into the Hokage’s office. He really wondered what she could want from him. He had been about to visit Iruka and see whether the Chuunin had time to explain something to him that he’d been wondering about for quite some time by now.

Why the snorg were those little hearts on everything people gave to each other shaped like they were? They didn’t even remotely look like real hearts. And he knew that for sure, having seen quite a share of them over the years.

“Come in, Kakashi. Have a cup of tea with me.”

“Thank you, Tsunade-sama”, he answered and entered, then closed the door behind himself before he sat down in front of her. Then he quickly jumped up again, bowed and sat back down. Yes, he’d been practicing politeness with Iruka. He still didn’t quite grasp why people considered it important, but he could do polite, no problem.

“So, how did you like the waffles?”, the Sannin asked, smirking, while she handed him a small cup with steaming tea.

“They were good. And the muffins, too. And the chocolate cake.” Kakashi took a careful sip through his mask, but to his relief the tea wasn’t spiked with anything. Although he wasn’t so sure about the Hokage’s cup…

“Better than apple pancakes?” Tsunade was grinning broadly by now.

“No.” Kakashi shook his head. Nothing could be better than apple pancakes, he was absolutely sure about that. Even without vanilla sauce. Or no. Especially without vanilla sauce. Vanilla sauce was good, all sweet and yummy, but it overwhelmed the taste of the apple pancakes too much, he’d found. So apple pancakes without anything were best ever.

“I see.” The Sannin’s grin grew even broader. “And what did you do to thank Iruka-sensei for all that?”

Kakashi looked at her unsurely. “What… what am I supposed to do?” Had he done something wrong? Maybe even disappointed Iruka? Made him sad?

“You didn’t do anything?”, Tsunade asked, then shook her head. “You can call yourself lucky that Iruka-sensei is too nice than to kick you out for being such a lazy ass.”

“I don’t want him to kick me out”, Kakashi assured. “What should I have done? And can I still do it?” He didn’t want Iruka to be angry or sad.

Tsunade sighed but smiled again. “You’re hopeless. Just pray that Iruka-sensei’s as patient as he seems to be.”

“Do you think he’ll lose patience with me?”, Kakashi asked softly.

“No, you baka.” The Sannin snorted. “Lucky baka. But make sure to show him that you are grateful for his efforts sometimes, alright? And not only on anniversaries. Which I hope you’ll have very much of, just so you know.”

“And how?” Anniversaries? Now what was that again?

“Kakashi…” Another sigh. “Don’t you know anything? Give him a present or something. Something nice. Chocolates for example.”

“Chocolates?”, Kakashi asked incredulously but then remembered having seen Sakura giving some to Sasuke one day. Or trying rather. He cringed at the memory.

“Baka”, Tsunade repeated. “Go and find something to make Iruka-sensei happy, alright?”

“But what?” Kakashi frowned. Maybe he could give Iruka some new wea-

“And no weapons or any other ninja supplies”, Tsunade said sternly.

“Not?” The Jounin tried not to look too sheepish.

“Not. The presents I’m talking about are… are things that aren’t really necessary. You know, things that… that just show that you care.”

“But wouldn’t weapons show that I care?”, Kakashi asked. After all, he wanted Iruka to be safe. And weapons would ensure that. Or medi-kits.

“You still have much to learn.” Tsunade shook her head but smiled. “Find something that’s nice and makes Iruka-sensei happy. Something that he doesn’t get every day and that’s… well…” She shrugged. “Luxury.”

“Luxury?” Kakashi doubted that Iruka was a person who liked luxury. It somehow didn’t seem to fit.

“Hatake”, Tsunade growled. “You drive me crazy, you know that?” She sighed. “Okay, listen. Think of something nice to give to Iruka-sensei, and if you don’t find anything else, buy him some chocolates. That’s not very inventive, but it at least shows that you try. Alright?”

“Alright.” Kakashi nodded. He would make Iruka happy somehow, he just needed to figure out how exactly, but that couldn’t be that hard, now could it?

-----

A stuff bear? Mmmh… No. Too… too stuffy and bear-y. Iruka didn’t need anything like that, especially if he was supposed have it in his bed like the girl on that poster. Iruka shouldn’t have anything in his bed that could take away the space for Kakashi.

A set of marbles? Maybe, but… No, they were too roll-around-y. Despite being a shinobi, Iruka could have a very, very, very bad day and trip over them and fall and then hurt himself in case Kakashi wasn’t there to catch him. Iruka shouldn’t be hurt, never.

A cactus? Maybe that small one there? Hmmm… But no, Iruka could get pricked and then the thorns would stay in his skin and hurt him and he wouldn’t be happy. And Iruka should be happy.

Oh, that set of shuriken looked handy. Maybe- No, Tsunade had said no weapons. … But still… Maybe the next time. To make sure that Iruka had something to defend himself. Yes. Next time some shuriken and some small kunai and a medi-kit and- oh, better two medi-kits, just in case, and-

Oh, what was that? Oh, one of those, that was nice. Maybe Iruka would like it? But what if he didn’t?

-----

“Iruka?”

“Kakashi.” The Chuunin turned towards the window and immediately smiled gently. “Come in, please.”

“Thank you.” Kakashi quickly shed his shoes, then reached behind him and took his present from where he’d hung it on his belt. “Iruka?”

“Yes?”

“I… I have something. For you.” Kakashi held out the large bag of chocolates he’d chosen at last.

“Chocolates?” Iruka took the present, smiling. “And so many? Kakashi, you shouldn’t have.”

“Then… then you don’t like them?” A cold hand of disappointment seemed to grab the Jounin’s heart.

“No, that’s not it.” Iruka opened the bag carefully. “I’m sure I’ll like them. What’s in them?”

“Chocolate nut cream.” The shop owner had said that those chocolates were his top sellers.

“Oh.” Iruka’s face fell.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi asked, slightly concerned.

“I… I’m sorry, Kakashi.” Iruka took a deep breath. “I… you know… I don’t really like chocolate nut cream. It’s a matter of consistence, I think.”

“Oh.” Kakashi looked at the Chuunin, then at the bag of chocolates in his hand, and then to the floor. He’d done it wrong, had done everything wrong. But he’d tried so hard, so very hard to find something to make Iruka happy. He’d wandered through the whole village to find something and nothing had been good enough and he’d been so confused about everything.

“I’m so, so sorry, Kakashi.” Iruka took a step forward and embraced him. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve done it wrong.” Kakashi tried to relax at the touch but found that it was hard, even harder than usual. “But I tried. I really tried.”

“I know, Kakashi.” Iruka rubbed his back gently. “I know. And I can try them, that’s okay. Maybe this kind of chocolate nut cream is more my taste than the kind I had before.”

“I should have given you the stone”, Kakashi whispered but then shook his head. “But that would have been even worse, wouldn’t it?”, he murmured bitterly. Who had ever heard about giving a stone as a present, now really?

“A stone?”

“Yes.” Kakashi sighed. “I found it today.” But it was useless, just as useless as those stupid, damn chocolates. Useless as all his pathetic efforts to understand and make Iruka happy and become human.

“And… you wanted to give it to me?”

“M-hm. It has a hole in it, you know.” Kakashi sighed once again in defeat and freed himself from the Chuunin’s arms before he dag in his pockets for the stone he’d found. “It also has a line on it. I thought it looked like your scar.”

“The one on my nose?”, Iruka asked, a smile in his voice.

“Yes. Ah, here it is.” Kakashi took out the stone. It wasn’t big, only about the size of the first part of his thumb, and had a light, sand-like colour. The line on it was grey, almost white, and the small hole almost in the middle.

“It’s nice.” Iruka took it, smiling, and turned it between his fingers. “Are you collecting stones with holes?”

“No. Yes. Well, not really.” Kakashi shrugged. “I pick them up when I see them, but then I somehow lose them again. Don’t know. I’m not good at keeping things.”

“But I am.” Iruka smiled broader. “What about you give me the stones you find and I collect them for you?”

“You want that?” Kakashi couldn’t help but smile back. “That would be nice.”

“I know.” Iruka grinned. “And like that, we will have something just for the two of us.” He leaned forward and gently embraced the Copy-nin. “And they all will be wonderful, perfect presents, Kakashi, because each of them will show me that you think of me.”

“Hm?” Kakashi frowned, but then understood. Or at least was rather sure that he did. “Oh. Then the stone would have been a better present than the chocolates?”

“It doesn’t really matter what you give me, Kakashi”, Iruka whispered. “But right now, the stone was a better present than the chocolates. But only because I know that there’ll be more stones.”

“O… kay…” Kakashi didn’t really understand that. But Iruka was happy, and that was all that counted. He would try to make Iruka happy as often as possible.

----- ----- -----

“Kurenai?”

Kakashi stopped when he heard Asuma’s voice around a corner. And Kurenai seemed to be there, too. Now that was handy. He could ask them if they knew something he could make Iruka happy with. And smile.

“Asuma”, he heard Kurenai answer when he turned around the corner. “How nice to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you, too”, the bearded Jounin answered, then seemed to… fidget on his place.

Kakashi frowned, unnoticed by them. Something seemed to be wrong.

“Kurenai…” Asuma took a deep breath. “You look very pretty today.”

Kakashi frowned deeper. Now what was that about? Kurenai looked just as on every other day.

“Oh”, the kunoichi breathed and blushed, then smiled softly. “Thank you, Asuma.”

“Eh… Hehe…” Asuma blushed and scratched his head.

Kakashi quietly turned around and walked away. Now that… Asuma had told Kurenai that she looked pretty and she had smiled. He would have to think about that.

-----

“Iruka?”

“Yes, Kakashi?”

“Iruka, you…” Kakashi took a deep breath. “You look very pretty today.” Hey, that hadn’t been that hard.

“I… pretty?”, the Chuunin asked in disbelief.

“Yes?”, Kakashi tried carefully. Shouldn’t Iruka be blushing and smiling now?

“Pretty?”

“Not?” Uh-oh, this wasn’t going as planned. But why not? He’d done everything just like Asuma, so why didn’t it work? Was there some secret behind it? Some kind of trick maybe?

“Kakashi, I’m a man.”

“I know.” Kakashi frowned. Now that was obvious.

“And still you think I’m pretty?”

“I… I…” Kakashi sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Kakashi, why… Kakashi.” Iruka shook his head. “No, Kakashi, I am sorry. What… How I reacted. It wasn’t right. Sorry.”

“Okay?” Kakashi was completely confused now.

“It’s just that I’m not used to being called ‘pretty’, you know.” Iruka shrugged, but then smiled. “But thank you very much for the compliment.”

“But you don’t want me to call you ‘pretty’”, Kakashi guessed.

“Well, it’s… it’s… Normally, women are called ‘pretty’, you know.”

“Oh.” Kakashi frowned. “Oh. That’s why it worked on Kurenai.”

“On Kure-” Iruka broke off and the Jounin could see his expression change from confused to angry to sad in a matter of seconds. “Did you tell Kurenai that she was pretty?”, he asked softly and turned his head away.

“No!” Kakashi shook his head vigorously. “Asuma did. I only heard it.” Kurenai wasn’t pretty! She was… she was Kurenai, just that.

“Oh”, Iruka breathed. “And… and then you…”

“I saw that she… she liked it, you know. She was smiling and blushing.” Kakashi bit his lower lip under his mask. “And then I thought that if I said it to you, you would smile, too…”

“You wanted to make me smile?”, Iruka asked softly.

“M-hm.” Kakashi nodded. “I like it when you smile.” Seeing Iruka smile always made something inside him… change. It seemed to make some of his tension vanish to know that Iruka was smiling only for him because of something he had done.

“Thank you, Kakashi.” Iruka smiled at him. “That’s wonderful of you.” He made a step forward and took the front of the Jounin’s vest with both his hands before he closed the space between them and placed his head on his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I… I like it when you smile”, Kakashi repeated, not knowing what to say else. He carefully wrapped his arms around the Chuunin and stroked over his back but held his uncovered eye on the open window. It wasn’t easy but he would stay like this as long as Iruka wanted. And maybe Iruka would smile for him again then.

-----

“Iruka. Iruka.” Kakashi sighed. “Okay, it’s fine now, I got it. You can stop laughing now.”

Iruka didn’t look as if he wanted to stop. In fact, he didn’t even seem to be able to stop.

“Iruka, I understand it, alright?” Kakashi was starting to get a little bit miffed by now. Although he had to admit that it felt good to see Iruka laugh so whole-heartedly.

“Al… al… alr-right…”, Iruka gasped, choking back more laughter. “I- I- I w-will stop n-now.”

“I don’t think it’s that funny.”

“It i-hiisss…” Iruka squeezed his eyes and mouth shut, trembling.

“Is not.”

“Y-you should have s-s-seen yourself”, the Chuunin panted. “All serious and calm, and then… and then… and th-then…” He broke into another laughing fit.

“It’s not funny”, Kakashi insisted and swore himself he would never again ask Gai for advice about Iruka. Or about anybody. Or about anything.

“And then you s-s-said, ‘You look v-very manly and you-you-youthf-ful today’!”, Iruka roared and fell off his chair.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

tbc

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN2:
As you’ve probably noticed, I tend to… let’s say, digress a little within this story. I have the actual main storyline all planned out but I don’t feel like just writing it as a constant chain of events. I rather feel like taking my time and filling in bits of not-so-important stuff, just like the stone-thing because I think those kinds of details are what makes this story warm and tender. And since this is my story, you’ll have to live with it, I’m afraid. ;-)

Nayru

Teach Me To Love You, Chapter 1

2008-04-02T09:27:02Z

Teach Me To Love You

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 1 – Do you wish it was a dream?

Kakashi awoke sound- and motionlessly, as always. He found that he couldn’t remember falling asleep and that was a bad sign, always. Eyes still closed and faking to be still sleeping, he tried to figure where he was by carefully extending his chakra, but had to find that he couldn’t use it – even worse sign. So he probably had been captured somehow and then caged in something chakra-suppressing and-

“You’re awake”, a soft voice on his left side said, startling him a little.

“Iruka-sensei?”, the Jounin asked in disbelief and quickly opened his eye not hidden by his hitai-ate. He caught sight of the Chuunin sitting next to him.

“Yes, Kakashi-sensei.” Iruka smiled down on him sadly.

“Where are we?” They had been in the mission room, he could remember now. Had they been captured? Maybe taken hostage by some infiltrators inside the village?

“We’re in my bedroom.” Iruka looked down at his hands.

“In your… Why am I here?” Kakashi tried to move and sit up only to find that his arms and legs were tied securely to the bed he was lying on. Again, he tried to accumulate his chakra to free himself but failed.

“You’re here because I’m weak”, he heard Iruka whisper.

“Weak?”, Kakashi asked and struggled against the ropes binding him. “Why-”

“I cast a jutsu on you when you were distracted earlier”, the Chuunin interrupted him softly, his head turned away and his eyes looking out of the window of the bedroom and into the night. “You fell unconscious and I sealed your chakra and then brought you here.”

“You… you sealed my chakra?”, the Copy-nin gasped. “Why?” Was the Chuunin a traitor? A spy for Sound maybe even? But… Naruto’s beloved Iruka-sensei?!

“Don’t worry. The seal will vanish in the morning. As will the binds.”

“But… but why did you do this?”

He saw Iruka smile again, a smile so full of deepest sadness and despair that it made the Jounin’s chest constrict. “Because I want to know how it feels.”

“How… how it feels?”, Kakashi whispered. “What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry, Kakashi-sensei.” Iruka shook his head. “I’m sorry for being weak.” He stood up from the bed and closed the window’s curtains, then shed his Chuunin vest and weapon pouch before he sat down again.

“Iruka”, Kakashi started, “please tell m-”

“Please don’t call me that”, the Chuunin interrupted him. “I don’t think I can stand that.” He lay down on the bed next to the Copy-nin and placed his head on his chest. “Please don’t speak anymore, Kakashi-sensei”, he whispered pleadingly. “Tomorrow you can hate me and despise me and even hurt me if you want, I don’t care. But tonight… please just… just be here…”

“But… but…” Kakashi frowned deeply while annoyance pushed away the confusion inside him. “What the hell happened here?”, he demanded and tried to wriggle free from under the Chuunin. In his position he wouldn’t be able to defend himself at all if Iruka lay on him like that.

“I love you”, Iruka whispered back. “I’m sorry.”

“Wh-what?”, the Copy-nin stammered in utter surprise and stopped his struggling.

“I can’t help it.” Iruka shook his head against his chest. “I can’t help it, Kakashi-sensei. I tried to ignore it for so long by now and when Naruto was still here, it kind of worked, because he… he’s so loveable, you know. So… so wonderfully annoying and… But… but since he left with Jiraiya-sama… I feel so empty since he’s not here anymore. And it became harder and harder to deny that I want you to be with me… so very much…”

Kakashi swallowed hard. He didn’t want to be reminded of what had happened to his Genin team, it still hurt too much to think about how he had failed them. And hearing the pain in the Chuunin’s voice made something inside him cramp. He’d always seen Iruka as a colleague, as somebody who cared about his team and wanted to protect them just like he did, and it just wasn’t right to see him suffer.

“And when you were with me in the mission room today”, Iruka whispered, “and when you looked so sad suddenly when you told me about Sakura’s progress with Tsunade-sama… I don’t know what I thought then, maybe I didn’t think at all, but I just cast the jutsu and took you here and… and… I don’t know. But maybe it’s better like this. I know it will hurt to know how it is to be near you and that it will hurt to know that you hate me now instead of only being indifferent, but… but maybe it’s better than hoping.”

“Iruka”, Kakashi started, but then he didn’t know what to say.

“Please, Kakashi-sensei.” The Chuunin’s fingers dag into his shirt. “Please don’t call me that. It would just make me hope again and… and I think that’s more than I could take. Please, I promise that I won’t do anything indecent, or at least nothing more indecent than what I’ve done already.” He laughed humourlessly. “Nothing will happen, I promise, Kakashi-sensei, and tomorrow I will accept anything you want to punish me with. But… but tonight just let me pretend that you’re here because you want to and that you don’t hate me.”

Kakashi just lay there without moving. He didn’t know what to say, how to react. Never had anybody told him that he was loved, never. Never had anybody said something as confusing, as… foreign to him as Iruka had just then. And he… he had always been shinobi, a killer, a machine to serve his village. He had never been anything else, anything of what the Chuunin seemed to see in him. He couldn’t understand how Iruka could even think of caring about him.

When he heard Iruka’s breathing even out slowly, Kakashi couldn’t help but wonder how it was possible for the Chuunin to sleep next to a complete stranger, to a dangerous man such as him. He himself had never been able to sleep well beside other persons, not even when on a mission and with separate sleeping bags and weapons within arm’s reach. And ever since his Genin team had been separated from him, he hadn’t been able to sleep well at all, had only been able to sleep for a few hours in a row until the guilt and shame had found him and haunted his dreams.

Mulling these thoughts over in his head, Kakashi felt his eyes close and himself drift off.

-----

He awoke when a strip of sunlight fell through an opening between the curtains right into his uncovered eye. He moved his right arm from above his head, wondering why it felt quite stiff, then wanted to do the same with his left when he suddenly noticed a warm weight on his left side and turned his head quickly. When he caught sight of long, brown hair fanned over his chest, the events of the evening before came crashing down on him.

And something else, too.

He’d slept. For a whole night.

Kakashi’s eyes widened. How was that possible?! He hadn’t really slept through a night for years. And he had been captured furthermore. Why had he slept like this just that night? Why-

“I expected you to be gone the moment you wake up”, Iruka whispered softly. “But I take it you decided to punish me for what I did then.”

Kakashi didn’t answer. He had slept next to a man who had first cast a jutsu on him, then kidnapped and bound him and then even sealed his chakra. And that while he didn’t even sleep for more than two or three hours in a row alone in his own bed with every door and window locked and trapped, not even after week-long missions. So why had he slept?

“Not talking to me is a good way to take revenge on me”, Iruka whispered. “You truly are a genius, Kakashi-sensei.” He turned his body around until his back was directed at the Jounin, then curled up into a ball. “It hurts.”

“Did… did I sleep?”, Kakashi murmured.

“You did when I woke up.” He heard Iruka swallow hard. “I could almost pretend that you were here because you wanted to.”

“And… you slept, too? Next to me?”

“I promised that I wouldn’t do anything indecent, Kakashi-sensei.”

“But… but how could you?” How could anybody sleep next to someone like him? Next to someone who had the blood of so many people on his hands? Someone who meant death and violence and nothing else?

“I can only apologise again for what I did, Kakashi-sensei. And as I said, you’re free to do with me whatever you want now.”

“No, I mean… How could you sleep next to me?” Kakashi sat up on the bed and looked at the visible side of the Chuunin’s face. Iruka was completely vulnerable like this. With his back towards him, he wouldn’t be able to defend himself against whatever he decided to do to him.

“It… it felt good”, Iruka whispered. “I haven’t felt this warm in years.” A tear ran from his eye over his cheek.

Kakashi fled.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi walked through the streets in a daze. He didn’t take any notice of his surroundings, didn’t even know where he was going. All he could think of was a single tear running over smooth, tanned skin.

‘Bury your emotions deep within you. A shinobi doesn’t need emotions.’

His father had said that to him, every day at least once. And Kakashi had obeyed, just as he had always obeyed, had hidden his emotions under blood, violence and death until he had been sure that there hadn’t been anything left.

‘A shinobi doesn’t need emotions.’

His shell had cracked here and there over the years. Some persons had been able to crack it a little – his sensei, his team-mates, his Genin team. But they all were dead now or had left him. And the cracks had closed themselves again, leaving his shell thicker than before. He’d been grateful for it.

‘A shinobi doesn’t need emotions.’

But Iruka had them. The Chuunin was full of emotions, Kakashi knew that. He’d seen him laugh with his students, fume in outrage at everybody daring to challenge him, cry with those who had lost someone precious to them. He’d seen him cry this morning for himself even, something Kakashi hadn’t allowed himself to do ever. And if the Chuunin had said the truth the evening before, he even allowed himself to love.

‘A shinobi doesn’t need emotions.’

A shinobi didn’t need love, Kakashi knew that. A shinobi needed strength, determination and loyalty. A shinobi didn’t need love. Love would hinder the tool’s efficiency, would maybe even get in conflict with its loyalty. A shinobi didn’t need love.

But what if he wanted it? Was a shinobi allowed to want love? Was he allowed to let himself be loved, to love back? Was he allowed to risk his ability to be just a tool, to decrease his use for his village? Or what if a shinobi just loved, just like Iruka did, without asking for permission? What if he just did it and then… and then what?

What happened to a shinobi who allowed himself to love?

----- ----- -----

“Hatake! In here!”, Tsunade’s voice boomed towards him when he entered the Hokage Tower around lunchtime after hours and hours of aimless wandering and thinking.

“Yes, Hokage-sama”, Kakashi murmured and followed her into her office. She seemed to be pissed at him for some reason and he had the distinct feeling that he could tell why if he just could get his thoughts together.

“Your report”, Tsunade growled the moment she sat down on her chair.

Oh, right. He had been on his way to hand it in to her the last evening. But then he’d seen Iruka sitting alone in the mission room and the Chuunin had looked so lost and lonely, and Kakashi had decided to go and tell him about Sakura’s progress to cheer him up first before delivering his report. He didn’t know why he’d wanted to do that though, it had just seemed to be a good thing to do and-

“Well?”, Tsunade growled, sounding even angrier than before.

“You see…”, Kakashi started when a soft knock on the door interrupted him. Then the door opened and revealed Iruka carrying a stack of papers.

“I’m sorry for interrupting, Tsunade-sama”, the Chuunin said and smiled apologetically. “But Shizune-san sends me to bring you these papers to sign and-” He gasped and fell silent the moment he caught sight of the Copy-nin.

“It’s fine, Iruka-sensei.” The Sannin waved at him to come closer. “I’m only just about to give that lazy Jounin over there a piece of my mind for handing in his reports late. I can sign the papers while I do that.”

“Oh, I…” Iruka’s eyes darted from her to Kakashi and back again. “I think I better come back later and… and…”

“No, just stay here, Iruka-sensei.” Tsunade waved again. “Let him just see how much people who know their duty work.”

Kakashi saw Iruka flinch so much it had to be painful. “Yes, Tsunade-sama”, he whispered and handed her the papers, then stood there, his eyes on the ground and his hands balled to fists so hard that the knuckles were white.

“So, Kakashi-kun”, the Sannin drawled while she read and signed the papers. “Why didn’t I get a report from you yesterday?”

“Well, you see…” Kakashi looked at Iruka, seeing the Chuunin shake violently. And it didn’t seem right to see Iruka suffer. The Copy-nin had always associated him with a world foreign to him but still somehow soothing to see, with laughter, gentleness and care, with smiles and affection and much, much ramen for the child nobody else wanted. Iruka smiled, he always smiled, and he should always smile. He shouldn’t look so broken and sad like he did now. And Kakashi didn’t want the gentle Chuunin to get into trouble since he hadn’t harmed anybody with what he’d done. But he also couldn’t lie to his Hokage about shinobi matters, could he?

“Yes?”, Tsunade growled.

“Well, you see…” Kakashi frowned in concentration, but then showed her the bright, mask-covered smile he always used to annoy people who came too close to him when he found the perfect explanation suddenly. “I fell unconscious in the mission room yesterday evening and Iruka-sensei took me to his apartment and let me sleep there.” That wasn’t even a lie, right? Nobody could accuse him for telling the truth. And like that, Iruka wouldn’t get in trouble at all and he could-

Iruka’s body started to shake even more, his hands trembled and his eyes screwed shut.

Kakashi’s eyes widened in shock. He hadn’t meant to do that. He had wanted to reassure the Chuunin, to show that he didn’t want to punish him and wasn’t angry for what he’d done. After all, Iruka hadn’t harmed him or done anything bad or-

“And you think that I believe that?!”, Tsunade shouted suddenly. “And don’t you dare to involve Iruka-sensei or anybody else into your lies, Hatake!”

“Ho-Hokage-sama”, Iruka whispered, “Hokage-sama, I…”

“I know, Iruka-sensei.” The Sannin sighed. “Don’t be afraid that I would believe him.”

“But Hokage-sama, I-”

“Pakkun ate my report”, Kakashi interrupted him, just to not have to see him hurt anymore. “I only had canned dog food for him left and he doesn’t like that, you see, and that’s why-”

“Out!”, Tsunade shouted. “Out! And you will hand in your report to Iruka-sensei until this evening, do you hear me?!”

Kakashi hurried out of the room and a little down the hallway, then leaned against a wall and waited impatiently. It didn’t take long until Iruka left the Hokage’s office.

“Yo”, Kakashi greeted, hoping that he could talk with him and maybe find answers.

“You’re a cruel man, Kakashi-sensei”, Iruka whispered and swallowed hard. “But I know I deserve it. If you know something better than reporting me to Tsunade-sama, then punish me as you see fit.” Then he walked away towards the mission room.

Kakashi looked at his retreating form, wondering how everything he did seemed to hurt the Chuunin although he never intended to do that.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi crouched in a tree in front of the window to Iruka’s living room, unsure whether he should knock at the glass and try to talk with the Chuunin. He desperately needed answers for all the questions spinning around in his head, but everything he said or did seemed to hurt Iruka, and he didn’t want that.

The sound of a window opening made him look up and he saw Iruka stand in front of him, the Chuunin’s eyes sad and slightly red. “Would you like to come in?”, he whispered.

“If I may”, Kakashi answered hesitantly. Iruka didn’t look as if he would like that.

“It’s not that I have any right to deny it to you.” Iruka just turned around and sat down on a couch.

“Thank you.” The Copy-nin jumped from the tree onto the broad windowsill, then shed his shoes and hopped down to the floor before he closed the window behind himself. “I brought my mission report.”

“Thanks for your hard work”, Iruka whispered and took the paper.

“And I… and I wanted to talk with you.” Kakashi looked around and finally settled down on the low couch table. The Chuunin’s apartment looked like Iruka himself, he noticed. It was full of pictures and things that looked as if children had made them, books were lying everywhere and even a half-finished puzzle on a table, and the walls had a warm, sand-like colour. Even the few pieces of furniture looked well-worn and comfortable.

“I thought so.” Iruka looked down at his hands.

“I… you know, I…” Kakashi searched for the words to express his confusion but didn’t find them. “I wanted… you know, I was… I was wondering how you could seal my chakra.” He didn’t want to know that, he couldn’t care less about it, but it was the only thing he could form the words to ask about. And that confused him even more.

“Would you like me to show you?”, Iruka asked.

“Yes, please.” And then explain everything? Explain why he felt so confused now although nothing had happened, nothing to be considered serious or important? Or at least he guessed so. And then explain why it was so hard to understand this although he always understood everything? And why he couldn’t see what was underneath all this?

“Alright.” The Chuunin took a deep breath, then waited until Kakashi had lifted his hitai-ate to reveal his Sharingan eye and slowly formed seals, accumulating chakra in his hands. “See? And now you just have to touch the person whose chakra you want to seal.”

“Did you invent that yourself?”, Kakashi asked while he hid his eye again.

“Yes, me and Anko.”

“May I try?”

“Yes.” Iruka swallowed, then stood up and walked over to the Copy-nin. He watched how Kakashi stood up and formed the seals, then reached out with his hand until their fingers touched. Immediately, the Jounin could feel the other’s chakra decrease until it became completely undetectable.

“Amazing”, he whispered in honest admiration. This jutsu spoke of true genius. It took a very small amount of chakra, was hard to detect, fast to use and of immediate success.

“And n-now?”, Iruka asked, his hands shaking. “What do you want to do with me now?”

“What do you mean?”, Kakashi asked in confusion, then gasped when he realised what the Chuunin had meant. “Iruka-sensei, I’m not here to hurt you!”

“Not?” Iruka smiled bitterly. “You do a pretty good job though.”

“But I didn’t intend to do that. And I didn’t want it earlier either.” Kakashi made a step forward, but the Chuunin shied back instantly. “Iruka-sensei, I’m sorry.”

“What for?”, Iruka laughed humourlessly. “It’s not that you were weak yesterday.”

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi repeated, not exactly sure what it was he felt sorry for. “I will better leave now. Will the jutsu vanish until tomorrow morning?”

“Yes”, Iruka whispered. “The jutsu will.”

----- ----- -----

Kakashi stood in front of the Memorial Stone the next morning, even more confused than the day before. He hadn’t slept much the last night, he’d closed his eyes and instantly been haunted by nightmares that had had him waking up thrashing despite his years and years of shinobi training not to do so. He couldn’t remember what he’d dreamed of though, just that it had been horrible. And when the morning had dawned, he’d felt the overwhelming desire to go and make sure that Iruka was alright. So he’d dressed hurriedly and had run through the still sleeping town towards the Chuunin’s apartment. And when he’d caught a glimpse of Iruka sleeping safe and sound in his bed, he’d felt so relieved that it had made him dizzy.

And confused him even more.

“What a mess I am”, he whispered softly and let his eyes trail over the names engraved in the black stone. “What’s happening with me?”

Whatever his deceased companions thought, they didn’t tell.

-----

Kakashi somehow made it through the day without hurting Iruka. He in fact made it through the day like that because he didn’t allow himself to see the Chuunin. Thinking of him, however, was a completely different matter.

-----

By the time the sun set, the Copy-nin was pacing the street two blocks from Iruka’s apartment house for the fifth time. He wanted to go and check on the Chuunin, he wanted to go and finally talk with him about what was confusing him. But he didn’t want to hurt him again.

-----

Around midnight, Kakashi finally found the courage to climb up the tree in front of Iruka’s window again. He would just take a short look at the Chuunin and then go home again and try to get some sleep. And he would never again think about why he had been able to sleep for hours when with the Chuunin and not think about why he had to be sure about him being safe suddenly and not-

The window opened and Iruka looked at him, dressed in a large t-shirt and a pair of boxers, his hair open and tousled. “Would you like to come in, Kakashi-sensei?”, he whispered, his voice sounding almost defeated.

“I…” Kakashi blinked. “I would like to… I…”

“Yes?”, the Chuunin murmured.

“I…” Kakashi frowned, unsure what it was he wanted exactly. There was something he wanted, something that he’d never wanted before and that confused him. Something that he knew he shouldn’t want but still wanted even more, and therefore he couldn’t stop himself when he felt his mouth open.

“I would like to sleep with you.” The Copy-nin flinched when the words left his mouth without his permission.

Iruka first gasped, then closed his eyes. “Please, Kakashi-sensei”, he whispered. “I know I said that you could do anything you want with me, but please don’t demand that from me. Please don’t force me to have sex with you, I don’t think I could stand that.”

“No, I didn’t mean that!”, Kakashi assured hastily. “I wasn’t thinking of that! I just… I just… I want to sleep here again.” He hadn’t realised how much, in fact, until he found himself saying it out loud now.

“Why?”, Iruka whispered.

“Because… because I slept here.” The Jounin took a deep breath. “I haven’t slept like that in years, not ever probably. And I want to know if it will happen again. I’m sorry if I hurt you again with asking for this. If that’s the case, I will leave immediately.”

He saw Iruka blink. “You just… you want to sleep here?”

“Yes. Just like two nights ago. And only if it’s alright for you”, Kakashi assured.

“And you would leave if I asked you to?”

“Yes. I never intended to hurt you, Iruka-sensei. What you did… it confuses me, but I never thought of hurting you for it.”

“It… confuses you?” Iruka looked at him in disbelief. “You mean it doesn’t… disgust you? I don’t disgust you?”

“No.” Kakashi shook his head. “You just confuse me.” Like now. Why should the Chuunin disgust him? It should rather be the other way around.

Iruka blinked, then he suddenly started to laugh. “God, what a mess”, he gasped, “what a stupid mess.” He shook his head, still laughing, and then started to sob suddenly. “Wh-what a m-mess.”

“Iruka-sensei”, Kakashi gasped, jumped into the room and hurried to his side. “Iruka-sensei, what’s wrong?” Was he hurt? Injured? Poisoned maybe?

“Everything”, the Chuunin sobbed. “God, everything’s s-so wrong and I… I can’t…”

“Do you want me to leave?”, Kakashi asked softly while he hesitantly moved his hand to stroke the other’s back, careful not to come too close to the spine being the most vulnerable part not to seem trying to harm him. “Am I hurting you again?”

“Yes”, Iruka gasped. “You’re hurting me. But please don’t leave.”

“I don’t understand that.” Kakashi frowned and then slowly leaned forward to wrap his arms around the Chuunin like he had seen Iruka do it with some of his students sometimes. It had always seemed to work. “I don’t understand.”

“Me neither”, Iruka whispered and placed his head on the Jounin’s shoulder. “I don’t understand this and I don’t understand you and I don’t understand myself anymore.”

“Do you want me to leave?”, Kakashi asked again although he felt that he desperately wanted to stay. He wasn’t sure why though, because he was everything but comfortable right now. In his current position with the Chuunin in his arms, he wouldn’t be able to defend himself properly. And, furthermore, he was quite sure that Iruka wasn’t well because he was baring his throat and neck to him openly. And that was nothing if not dangerous. Kakashi could think of thirty-three ways to kill him and he wouldn’t even need a weapon for any of them.

“No.” Iruka shook his head. “Stay here tonight and let us sleep just like two nights ago. I don’t want to think about anything right now.”

Kakashi nodded. Not thinking sounded good.

----- ----- -----

When Kakashi awoke the next morning, he found himself spooned up against a still sleeping Iruka. Resisting the sudden urge to run somewhere safe and instead closing his eyes again, the Jounin tried to figure out what it was he was experiencing at that moment.

He felt unease because of his reduced possibilities to move, but that wasn’t even the strongest sensation. There was wonder, wonder why Iruka slept soundly next to him although he could kill the Chuunin easily, although there weren’t any weapons for him to defend himself against the shinobi, the killer next to him. And there also was relief, relief that he’d again slept without disturbance. And warmth, not only from Iruka’s body beside him but also a little from within himself. Maybe. And something else… something like… something like wonder and relief and warmth, but different in many ways. But he wasn’t able to name it.

“I don’t know…”, he whispered absentmindedly, then regretted it immediately when Iruka started to stir and squirm.

“Kakashi-sensei?”, he whispered without opening his eyes.

“Yes?”, Kakashi answered, steeling himself in case the Chuunin would attack. It wasn’t the nicest thing to wake up with a killer pressed against your back.

“So it wasn’t a dream.” Iruka sighed. “I was almost sure. Real life’s not that… surreal. Normally, I mean.”

“Do you wish it was a dream?”

“Do you?”

Kakashi thought about that. “I’m not sure.”

“Me neither.” Iruka sighed. “Do you hate me, Kakashi-sensei?”

“No.” The Jounin shook his head. “I have no reason to hate you.” The Chuunin had neither tried to kill or harm him nor to betray the village. So he had no reason to hold a grudge against him. And hatred… he wasn’t even sure how that felt.

“Then I’m quite sure that I don’t want everything to be a dream.” Iruka turned until he lay on his back and opened his eyes. “But it’s still weird to have you here again. I was so sure you would never…” He shook his head.

“I slept again”, Kakashi told him. “I didn’t even wake once.” He frowned a little when he saw the other open himself for any attack again. Iruka was a Chuunin, how was it possible that he didn’t see the danger he was in?

“That’s good.” Iruka smiled up at the ceiling, soft, gentle and sad. “And now?”

“I don’t know.” Kakashi sighed and turned until he also lay on his back, body tense and senses still on high alert. “Iruka-sensei?”

“Yes?”

“You said that you love me. Is that true?” Maybe that was the reason why he didn’t take any measures to defend himself?

“Yes.” The Chuunin closed his eyes.

“Why?” Love had to be dangerous if it even made you close your eyes while lying next to a killer who knew fifty-eight ways to kill you without a sound in less than five seconds.

Iruka laughed softly. “I don’t know. I just do it.”

“Can’t you explain it to me?” Why people wanted it although it was dangerous. Why anybody even took those unnecessary risks. Why people thought it was worth to risk getting hurt or betrayed or maybe even killed because love seemed to make vulnerable.

“You can’t explain love, Kakashi-sensei. It’s just… everything I feel when you’re with me or when I think of you.” Iruka sighed. “I wish I could explain it better.”

“Oh.” Kakashi frowned. But how was he supposed to understand it if the Chuunin couldn’t explain it to him? How was he supposed to understand how Iruka could be a shinobi and still love, and love someone like him furthermore? And he wanted to understand it, wanted it desperately, wanted to know if a shinobi was able to have emotions.

“Can you…” Kakashi fell silent. He wasn’t sure if he could say it. Saying it would expose him to the danger of opening to Iruka like the Chuunin did to him, and therefore of maybe getting attacked by him when he wasn’t able to defend himself. Saying it would also mean to accept that he might have been wrong all of his life. Saying it would mean to betray his duty towards his village, at least a little. Saying it would mean to change, and every change he’d ever experienced in his life hadn’t been for the better.

“Can I?”, Iruka whispered and opened his eyes again, then turned his head towards him. “What is it, Kakashi-sensei?”

But if he said it now and took the risk… Was there a possibility that his life could change for the better? That Iruka could help him to become human? Maybe being human meant taking unnecessary risks. Maybe being human meant to open, to… to trust. He had never trusted anybody except himself. Shinobi didn’t trust when it wasn’t strictly necessary, and if they did, then only in another’s abilities. But shinobi fought alone.

But maybe humans didn’t? Maybe being human meant to trust and to love and to… to not be alone? He’d always been alone, his whole life, and he had never minded. And he had never thought about it. Being alone had been just the way his life had been, he had never understood why other people searched company. Company meant danger, vulnerability. And love meant that, too, he guessed.

Kakashi turned his head and looked into Iruka’s deep, brown eyes regarding him with slight worry. And the Chuunin still just lay there, no sign of readiness to defend, no sign of awareness of the danger Kakashi meant. The Copy-nin wasn’t sure why Iruka did this, but he knew that the Chuunin wasn’t stupid or reckless. So that meant that he… trusted him? Although he was a killer?

“Do you trust me not to harm you?”, Kakashi whispered, strangely afraid to talk out loud and shatter this… this thing, this whatever was happening at the moment. It seemed fragile.

“You said you wouldn’t”, Iruka whispered back. “Why should you lie to me?”

Yes, he’d said that. But the Chuunin couldn’t be sure that he’d meant it, and still… And he’d already trusted him not to harm him after their first night in his bed. Kakashi could have easily killed him the moment he had woken up, and still Iruka had trusted him not to.

Maybe that was the reason why he’d been able to sleep next to the Chuunin? Because Iruka had trusted him and let his guard down completely? Maybe he had just needed that? And maybe he could have that again if he just let himself become human? If he let Iruka love him and… and…

“Iruka-sensei?”

“Yes?”

“Can you…” Kakashi swallowed. “Can you teach me to love you?”

“Can… I…” Iruka gasped. “What… what do you mean?”

“I don’t know how”, Kakashi whispered. “I’ve never loved. Because shinobi aren’t supposed to love. But you do it still, although you’re shinobi, too. And I… and I want to know how it feels.” He’d made his decision. His life had always been dark, full of duty and violence. He wanted it to change, he needed it to change. He hadn’t known it before, but now he realised that he had been about to fade, had been about to vanish from this life, every day a little more, that he already was barely there anymore. And maybe Iruka could save him.

“You’ve never loved?”, the Chuunin asked incredulously.

“I have always been shinobi.” Kakashi closed his eyes although it took all of his willpower to take the risk connected with that. But he wanted to show Iruka that he was willing to trust and learn. He wanted to prove that to himself, too. “I’ve never been anything other than shinobi.” And he just knew that Iruka was his one and only chance to change that.

“Kakashi-sensei, I…”

“Please”, the Jounin whispered. “You say that you love me. If you’re able to love a man like me who’s not even human, then you can also teach me to love you back, can’t you? Can you please try, Iruka-sensei? Please, I… I don’t want to fade anymore.”

“Oh, Kakashi”, Iruka gasped. “I didn’t know that.” He reached out and embraced the Copy-nin gently. “I didn’t know that you felt so lonely. I’m so sorry that I didn’t see it.”

“Will you try?”, Kakashi asked softly and forced himself not to push him away although the closeness made his senses scream. “Will you try, Iruka?”

“Yes. Yes, Kakashi.” The Chuunin tightened his embrace. “I will try. I will teach you.”

“Thank you.” Kakashi buried his face against his chest, ignoring his instincts that were screaming at him to get away, to bury himself behind traps and weapons and not change, not take the risk Iruka meant for him. “Thank you.” But maybe he would learn how to love, how to live, how to make his life worth living. How to be human.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

tbc

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AN2:
I feel that I should explain some things that made me write this the way I did.
First of all, if you think that Kakashi is OOC in this, great, do that, your own choice. But this is just the way I truly believe he is. It’s funny to write him aloof and cool and all that, but I think he is not like that. I believe that somebody forced to become a killer from the age of five on and then always being used as a tool for others simply can’t know anything about human matters. I see Kakashi as somebody giving a hard, know-it-all appearance on the outside but being unsure about most social things on the inside. Taking in consideration that everybody who could have taught him anything had been shinobi, too, and left him at a young age, I can’t see where he should have taken up anything about being a human. This is also the reason why I think Iruka is perfect for him. Iruka is warm, caring and loveable and he doesn’t give a flying damn on the ‘ignore your emotions’-rule. He’s in my eyes the only one able to save Kakashi from becoming an empty shell completely after all that’s been done to him.
So, to make things short, I completely accept your opinion if you think Kakashi is OOC, I just won’t share it. I think the only way to write him OOC is to make him being indifferent towards his comrades and not letting him see teamwork as a priority. Other than that, given how little we know of him, everything is interpretable.

Nayru

Fifty-Two

2008-03-05T20:02:08Z

Title: Fifty-Two
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Kashi-kun didn't behave and Iruka-sensei needs to punish him for it. Severely.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

Sequel to my stories
Mine
Kiss What's Yours
and See That? Mine!

AN1:
This wasn’t planned at all but so many asked what Number Fifty-One was that I couldn’t resist writing this.
And I know Iruka offered Kakashi Number Fifty-One in the last part. The title will still make sense in the end.

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Fifty-Two

by nayru_kleinefee

“So, Kashi-kun…”, Iruka-sensei drawls. “Tell me again why I gave you detention.”

“Because I didn’t behave?”, Kakashi murmurs softly, fidgeting on his small seat.

“What was that?”, Iruka-sensei snaps.

“Because… because I didn’t behave, sensei”, Kakashi corrects immediately, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Ah, yes.” Iruka-sensei slowly walks towards him. “You were a very naughty boy, Kashi-kun.”

“Yes, sensei.” The Jounin feels himself shudder and his hands clutch the edge of the small desk he is seated at.

“And what shall I do with you…” Iruka-sensei sits down on the edge of the desk next to his, arms crossed in front of his chest. “For your punishment…”

“Please don’t punish me, sensei”, Kakashi pleads hoarsely. “I promise I will be a good boy from now on, I promise.”

“I can’t believe you.” The Chuunin sighs and shakes his head. “You always promise to be a good boy, Kashi-kun. And then you misbehave again.”

“But I will be a good boy, sensei!”, Kakashi assures. “I will do whatever you want!” Whatever Iruka-sensei wants him to do.

“Kashi-kun…” Iruka-sensei sighs again. “What shall I do with you, hm?” He gets up from the desk and walks to his own in front of the Jounin.

“Please, sensei”, Kakashi breathes, carefully shifting on his seat to get a little more comfortable.

“I really should spank you, I really should…” Iruka-sensei weighs a long ruler in his hand.

“Please… don’t spank me, sensei…”, Kakashi pants and licks his dry lips. “At least not… not with that, sensei, please. I will nev-”

“Come here”, the Chuunin orders and points at the floor in front of the blackboard. “Now.”

“Yes, Iruka-sensei.” The Jounin hurries to get up from his desk but accidentally bumps against the edge of the table with his impossibly hard member in his haste. He gasps and doubles over when pain and pleasure shake him violently.

“I said now”, Iruka-sensei snaps. “Don’t make me angry.”

“No, sensei…” Kakashi hastily limps towards him. Angering Iruka-sensei wouldn’t be in his favour, not at all.

“Good boy.” Iruka-sensei nods in approval. “Now bend over the desk.”

“Sensei…”, Kakashi moans. “Sensei, please… don’t spank me…” It would be so humiliating, especially because he is rather sure that the spanking wouldn’t decrease his arousal unless it would be too harsh and painful. But he would still endure it if Iruka-sensei decided to spank him because Iruka-sensei would want it and it would be Iruka-sensei spanking him.

“Bend. Over.”

“Yes, sensei”, Kakashi whispers and hurries to do as told. He flinches when his erection touches the desk, then again when it is pressed against the hard surface by the weight of his body.

“You’ve been a bad boy”, Iruka-sensei drawls. “A very bad boy, Kashi-kun…”

“Yes, sensei…” He knows that, knows that he’s been so bad, so naughty again, that Iruka-sensei will have to punish him severely.

“Bringing this into school…” A white box is being placed in front of his face on the desk, a box he’s never seen before.

“I’m sorry, Iruka-sensei. I will never d-”

“Silence!”, the Chuunin’s voice whips through the classroom straight into his groin.

Kakashi bites his lip hard not to moan or whimper. He watches, enthralled, how Iruka-sensei slowly opens the box, pulls out the stuffing paper and finally reveals its contents. The Jounin gasps when he sees what it is.

“I think I never saw such a naughty boy as you, Kashi-kun…” Iruka-sensei takes the blue, phallic thing out of the box and turns it in his hand, then holds it out for the Jounin to regard more closely.

Kakashi licks his lips and can’t help the little whimper that escapes his mouth at the sight. A dolphin-shaped dildo! His whole body starts to tremble violently in arousal.

“What were you planning to do with this, hm, Kashi-kun?” Iruka-sensei lifts the toy up to his face and eyes it thoroughly, trailing the tip of his index finger up and down its length almost tenderly. “Tell me.”

“I…” Kakashi swallows hard. “I… I wanted…”

“Yes?”

“I wanted…” He doesn’t know what he could say, what he could have wanted with it. Not when the Chuunin is holding that thing and looking at him and-

“I think I can guess what you wanted to do…” Iruka-sensei arches an eyebrow at him. “Such a bad, naughty boy, Kashi-kun.”

“I’m sorry, sensei…”, Kakashi pants breathlessly. “I’m sorry…”

“No, you aren’t.” Iruka-sensei chuckles. “You are a naughty, naughty boy, Kashi-kun, and you aren’t sorry for it in the slightest.”

“I… I am… sensei… please…” He wants… he needs…

“You say you are?” Iruka-sensei smirks. “Well, then I will have to prove that you aren’t, don’t you think? To make sure that you really deserve your punishment.”

“Oh… oh god…”, Kakashi moans. “Sensei… please…”

“Lift yourself up and pull down your pants”, Iruka-sensei orders.

“Yes…” His whole body shuddering, his legs almost unable to support his weight, Kakashi pushes his body upright and tries to open his pants with trembling fingers. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath when he can’t even open the button, then tries again and this time succeeds, feeling Iruka-sensei’s gaze on him all the time. Finally, he manages to push down his pants to his knees, then also his boxers.

“Now bend over again.” Iruka-sensei pushes at his back until he obeys. “Spread your legs.”

“Yes, sensei”, Kakashi pants and does as ordered. He sees the Chuunin’s hand come in sight again and take a small bottle out of the box, then disappear.

“So, Kashi-kun…” Warm fingers slowly caress the cleft between his buttocks, leave and then come back cold and slick. “Tell me. Is this what you wanted? Are you a naughty boy?”

“Yes…”, the Jounin moans when one finger enters him. “Yes, sensei… please…”

“And you aren’t sorry for it in the slightest, are you?” The finger moves inside him carefully, then a second follows.

“I… sensei…”

“Tell me, Kashi-kun… Are you sorry?” The fingers are pulled out suddenly, then something slightly bigger takes their place.

“N-no…”, Kakashi moans while he feels the dolphin being pushed in slowly. “Please… more…” It’s not big, that toy, at least not big enough to be compared to what he wants so much instead of it. But still it stretches him a little more, promises pleasure that is to come.

“So you aren’t sorry, Kashi-kun?” Iruka-sensei scratches over his left buttock with the fingernails of one hand, the other still pushing the toy deeper.

“I… I am…n-not…” Kakashi throws his head back with a shuddering moan when the tip of the dolphin’s snout reaches his prostate and makes him see white for a second. Then he can do nothing but whimper while more of the toy slowly rubs over it until he can feel the slightly thinner part right before the end of the toy reach his stretched muscle and prevent it from slipping out or fully inside.

“See?”, Iruka-sensei whispers. “I told you that you aren’t sorry for it.” He shifts until his lips are right beside the Jounin’s ear. “And now I will have to punish you…”

“P-please… Iruka…” Kakashi moves his hips, desperate for something, anything, that will make the toy shift inside him.

“What was that?” A sharp slap on his right buttock makes him yelp and jump, then gasp when the dolphin inside him strokes his prostate again.

“I… Iruka… sensei…”, the Jounin pants. “Sensei…”

“Good boy.” Iruka-sensei twists the dolphin a little, then back again, sending him into helpless moans and trembling. “Stand up now.”

“N-no…”, Kakashi pleads. “Please…” He doesn’t want to move but still wants it so desperately and-

“Now.”

“Yes, sensei.” The Jounin slowly straightens up, gasping when once again the toy inside him shifts and sends sparkles through him.

“Now dress”, Iruka-sensei orders.

“D-dress?”, Kakashi pants. He doesn’t want to dress, no, no. He wants to get out of his clothes and then feel Iruka-sensei’s hands on his skin and wants t-

“Dress. Behave or I’ll get angry.”

“I… yes, sensei…” Kakashi carefully, slowly bends his body and pulls up his boxers and pants, trembling, gasping and shuddering at every movement. His fingers shaking even more than before, he needs four attempts to zip up his pants and close the button. When he looks up, his gaze is captured by the prominent bulge in Iruka-sensei’s pants and he moans softly.

“What is it, Kashi-kun? Do you plan more naughty things?”

“I…” Kakashi swallows hard, uncovered eye never leaving his desire. “Please… let me…” He falls down on his knees, groans when the dolphin moves inside him again, then reaches out with his hands towards the Chuunin. “Iruka-sensei…”

“Yes, Kashi-kun?” There is a smirk audible in Iruka-sensei’s voice.

“I… I want…” The Jounin wraps trembling fingers around his belt and tugs. To his greatest relief and painful arousal, Iruka-sensei lets himself be dragged forward until he stands right in front of him. Without waiting for any further permission, Kakashi hastily undoes belt, button and zipper and greedily reaches for his desired prize.

“You’re such a naughty boy”, Iruka-sensei breathes, then groans when the Jounin closes his lips around him. “Mmmh… I have to… punish you… indeed…”

Kakashi just closes his eyes and does all he can to pleasure the Chuunin. And it suddenly doesn’t matter anymore that he has a toy inside him, that he is so hard it is on the edge of hurting, that they are in a classroom in the Academy. Only Iruka-sensei’s pleasure, only his moans and pants and groans matter, only that he has his hand in the Jounin’s hair and is rubbing his scalp encouragingly.

And then Iruka-sensei groans out his name, tightens his hold in his hair and forces his head down on him, and Kakashi feels a sharp stab of arousal make him throb while the Chuunin comes in his mouth, down his throat. He swallows and licks until he feels his head being pulled away, then whimpers in disappointment.

“Kashi-kun…”, Iruka-sensei breathes. “So good…” He tilts the Jounin’s head up with his hand still in his hair and smirks down on him. “You earned yourself a very thorough punishment right now.”

“Yes, please…” Kakashi is trembling again, yearning, craving, needing. Oh, and hoping, so very much, that Iruka-sensei will use the hold on his hair to pull him up and then kiss him and taste him an-

“Get up and fix your clothes. You’re looking rumpled.”

“Yes…” He’s not able to force his uncovered eye from those lips. If only…

“Pull up your mask, too, and put on your vest again”, Iruka-sensei demands while he zips himself up again.

“Yes, sensei…” Kakashi does as ordered although the soft cloth of his mask seems to be like sandpaper on his skin compared to the memory of the Chuunin’s lips.

“Now sit down at your desk again”, Iruka-sensei tells him. “Shio-sensei will be here soon for some papers. Your punishment will have to wait.”

“Oh… oh please…”, Kakashi breathes. “Please… don’t make me wait…” He doesn’t think he can stand this torture, doesn’t think he can stand any delay anymore.

“Do as I say”, the Chuunin orders sternly. “Behave!”

“Yes, sensei.” With little steps and carefully moving his body as little as possible, Kakashi slowly makes his way to the desk he’s occupied before. Biting his lower lip, he braces himself on it and excruciatingly slowly twists to sit down, but still it makes the dolphin shift and torture him sweetly.

“Good boy.” Iruka-sensei takes the box from his desk, takes something out of its depth and then throws the box and stuffing paper away. He opens a window, walks back to his chair, puts the small bottle of lubricant into a pocket of his vest and sits down.

Kakashi slowly shifts on his chair but stops immediately when it makes his arousal rub against the rough cloth of his pants just as well as the dolphin shift inside him. Careful not to move any more than strictly necessary, he balances his weight on his upper thighs and hands, uncomfortably holding his butt hovering over the small chair.

“You may read something to pass the time”, Iruka-sensei tells him without looking up from some papers on his desk.

Grateful for both the distraction and the chance to hide behind something, Kakashi carefully pulls out his Icha Icha book from his vest pocket, impossibly relieved that he hasn’t put it into the back pocket of his pants that day. He takes a deep breath, opens it at a random page and hides his face before he closes his eyes.

It feels like an eternity until there is a knock on the door.

“Behave”, Iruka-sensei reminds him sternly, then gets up and opens the door, smiling brightly the moment he takes sight of the person standing in front of it. “Good evening, Shio-sensei.”

“Iruka-sensei.” The young blonde man smiles back. “Oh, and you have a visitor? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to intrude or disturb you.”

“Oh, you don’t disturb us, not at all.” Iruka-sensei smiles even brighter. “Kashi-kun is only sitting around there and reading.”

“Ah.” Shio nods, looking a little confused. “Good evening, Kash- Kakashi-san.”

“Hrn.” The Jounin doesn’t trust his voice at that moment. He’s just grateful that he’s able to kind-of-sit there inconspicuously.

“Jounin…” Iruka-sensei sighs and shakes his head. “But however, you wanted the forms for the new students?”

“Yes, please.” Shio nods. “It’s really a big luck for me that you offered to help me although it’s so late already, Iruka-sensei.”

Kakashi almost whimpers.

“That’s absolutely no problem.” The Chuunin smiles reassuringly. “I still have work to do.” He gestures the other man to go to his desk and follows, then stands with his back to Kakashi.

The Copy-nin watches over the edge of his book how Iruka-sensei shows and explains some forms to Shio, desperately waiting for the other man to leave. He just wants to close his eyes again when he sees something in Iruka-sensei’s hand. Squinting with his uncovered eye, he tries to find out what it is, then gasps when he suddenly recognises the thing.

“Hm?” Iruka-sensei turns his head towards him. “Something bothering you, Kashi-kun?”, he asks, a smirk barely suppressed.

“N-no”, Kakashi murmurs hastily and buries his face in his book again.

“Are you sure?”, Shio inquires. “You look…”

“I. Am. Fine”, the Jounin snaps.

“Just leave him be.” Iruka-sensei gently turns the other man to the desk again, then crosses his hands behind his back, showing the small black box to the Copy-nin once again.

Kakashi feels beads of sweat building on his forehead and neck. But Iruka-sensei won’t… he just won-

“Ah!”, he gasps when the dolphin inside him suddenly springs to life and silently but mercilessly vibrates against his prostate for a second.

“Kakashi-san?” Shio lifts his head and looks at him. “Everything alright?”

“Y-yes…”, the Jounin forces out through gritted teeth, then feels the book in his hand crumble slightly when the toy is switched on and off again.

“Are you really sure that-”

“Shio-sensei”, Iruka-sensei interrupts softly, still teasingly turning the remote control behind his back. “I’m sure he’s just… excited about something. Oh, and don’t you have to meet with Taia-san soon? I think you said something…”

“Hm?” The young man snaps his gaze away from the Jounin, then jumps. “Right! I’m sorry, Iruka-sensei, but I have to leave.”

“It’s alright, Shio-sensei.” Iruka-sensei smiles gently. “Come, I will take you outside.”

“Thank you, Iruka-sensei.” Shio hastily gathers the papers. “Goodbye, Kakashi-san.”

“M-hmmm!”, Kakashi gasps when once again the dolphin is switched on and off inside him.

“Jounin…”, Iruka-sensei mutters. “Come, you don’t want to be late, now do you? And I’m sure Kashi-kun will behave alone in here.” He throws a stern look at the Jounin, promising a severe ‘or else…’, then gently takes Shio’s arm and leads him out of the room.

Kakashi sighs deeply the moment the door closes but then gasps again when the toy inside him starts to vibrate again, for several seconds this time. Oh god, he is so hard, so painfully hard, and he isn’t allowed to do anything and-

“Aaah!”, the Jounin moans when the dolphin springs to life again. He slumps onto the desk in a trembling heap when the vibrations become even more intense, then stop suddenly. Oh, Iruka-sensei is so, so cruel, torturing him like this when all he wants are Iruka-sensei’s hands, his voice, his touch, no matter what, even if it’s not his lips, his perfect, perfect lips.

Another wave of vibrations sends him trembling once again, and this time it doesn’t stop but keeps pleasuring him, sending him deeper and deeper into helpless arousal. He feels his hands let go of his book on their own, then immediately clutch the front of his pants, rubbing and squeezing hard. Oh, Iruka-sensei will be so angry if he finds him like this, sees him being so bad, so naughty again. And then Iruka-sensei will punish him even more, will be even stricter.

“Iruka…”, Kakashi pants breathlessly, his head falling down onto the desk. “Iruka… please…” He needs the Chuunin to punish him for being such a bad boy, needs Iruka-sensei, Iruka to just yank down his pants again and rip out that toy and then take him and take him and take him until he won’t be able to walk, to move anymore, won’t know his name anymore nor care about any of that. And he needs Iruka to talk to him in that Teacher Voice of his, telling him what he wants to do with him and what-

“Kashi-kun!”

Kakashi breaks. With a strangled, helpless moan, he spills his semen in his pants while the dolphin inside him mercilessly buzzes against his prostate. But it is that voice, Iruka’s voice that sends him falling, and he feels the waves of pleasure flood him and explode before his eyes, then leave him blissfully exhausted and spent.

“I told you to behave!” Iruka-sensei’s hand grabs his hair and roughly lifts his head up, then the other yanks down his mask.

“I… I’m… sorry…”, Kakashi whispers dazedly. “It… didn’t stop…” And it is still vibrating, still buzzing, he can feel it.

“Hrn.” Iruka-sensei lets go of him and switches the toy off, still glaring. “Seems the remote control doesn’t reach all the way to the front doors…” He leans his head down again. “But that is no excuse, Kashi-kun.”

“I’m sorry… sensei…” Kakashi swallows hard, realising that he is still going to be punished. The thought sends shivers down his back.

“Stand up.”

“Yes… yes, sensei…” The Jounin carefully gets up from the small chair on shaking legs, frowning when the stickiness in his pants moves with him.

“You soiled yourself”, Iruka-sensei scolds him. “Out of your pants and boxers now.”

“C-can…” Kakashi swallows. “Can I take the dolphin out?” And Iruka-sensei in instead?

“No.” Iruka-sensei glares at him. “I still have to punish you, Kashi-kun. Now get out of your pants before I get angry. And out of your vest, too.”

“Yes, sensei…” Careful not to move too much, Kakashi opens and steps out of his shoes, then sheds his pants and vest and finally his boxers. Looking down at himself, he winces at the white stickiness on his groin, slightly warm still but cooling already. Iruka-sensei will be so angry…

“Look at yourself…” The Chuunin shakes his head and walks towards his desk to place the remote control on it, then sheds his vest and hangs it over the back of his chair. “How do you plan to walk home like this?”

“D-do I have to go home now?”, Kakashi asks softly, desperately. “Don’t you… want to punish me first?” God, he is already getting stiff again.

“First I will have to clean you up before I can do anything else with you.” Iruka-sensei sighs and walks back towards him. “You’re giving me much trouble, Kashi-kun.” And with that, he crouches down in front of the Jounin and without so much as a word as warning takes his half-hard member in his mouth to lick the semen off it.

“Oh… oh, Iruka…”, Kakashi breathes hoarsely, then gasps in pleasurable pain when the Chuunin bites him warningly. “Iruka… sensei…”, he manages to force out despite his mind being in clouds again.

“There.” Iruka-sensei suddenly lets go of him and straightens up. “Now pull on your pants again.”

“But…” Kakashi swallows. “But they’re dirty.”

“I said your pants.” Iruka-sensei rolls his eyes in obvious annoyance. “Not your boxers. You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you, Kashi-kun? You’re trying to make me angry.”

“No. No, sensei.” Kakashi shakes his head hastily. “I’m not trying to make you angry.” He quickly makes a grab for his pants lying on the floor but gasps and feels his knees buckle beneath him when the toy reminds him of its presence.

“Kashi-kun…”, Iruka-sensei growls.

“I’m… sorry…” The Jounin puts on his pants as quickly as possible, then straightens up again to look at him.

“Sit down on my chair”, Iruka-sensei orders. “It’s time for your punishment.”

“Yes, sensei.” Kakashi hurriedly does as ordered, slightly confused. How does Iruka-sensei plan to take him like this? Oh, and he wants to finally, finally be taken now, wants to feel Iruka-sensei deep inside him instead of that toy. And most of all he wants to feel Iruka-sensei’s hands on his skin, his lips so much, so very much, and wants to hear Iruka-sensei whisper sweet words of praise to him about how good he feels and what a good boy he finally is and-

“Kashi-kun!”

The Jounin jumps and snaps back to reality. “Yes?”

“Pay attention!” Iruka-sensei glares down at him.

“I’m sorry, sensei”, Kakashi assures wide-eyed. “I’m sorry.”

“Hrn.” The Chuunin glares more. “You’re on your best way to get spanked.”

“M-mh!” Kakashi shakes his head hastily. “Please don’t spank me, sensei.”

“We’ll see…” Iruka-sensei tilts his head to the side slightly. “Pay attention now.”

“I will.” The Jounin nods quickly, then gasps when Iruka-sensei suddenly grips the hem of his shirt and unceremoniously pulls it off, revealing his tanned, well-muscled chest to Kakashi’s greedy eye. Which gets even wider when the Chuunin goes over to opening his belt and pants and finally sheds them along with his sandals and boxers until he stands there completely naked.

Kakashi is on his feet before he even realises it and has pulled off the Chuunin’s hitai-ate and hair-tie and his arms wrapped around Iruka’s waist faster than either of them can do anything to stop him. In the blink of an eye, he is leaning forward towards his lover’s lips, needing to taste him finally, to feel his tongue against his own, his teeth, his li-

“Kashi-kun!” And suddenly there is a sharp slap on his left buttock, then another, both making him twitch in surprise and slight pain and the toy inside him make itself known again.

“Iruka…” He blinks dazedly and is immediately forced back to reality by a third slap onto his butt. “Iruka!”

“I told you to behave!” Iruka slaps him once again. “Kashi-kun!”

“But…” Kakashi stops his treacherous tongue in the last moment when he sees a slight hint of insecurity and disappointment in his lover’s eyes, and instead hastily turns his face down and lets go of Iruka-sensei’s waist, if very reluctantly. “I’m sorry, Iruka-sensei”, he whispers. “I didn’t mean to be naughty again…”

“Kashi-kun…” Iruka-sensei growls. “Really, what shall I do with you, hm? I think I can’t even do anything other than spanking you anymore. You don’t seem to understand anything else.”

“Sensei, please…” Kakashi swallows hard and bites his lower lip. “Please don’t spank me. I will do whatever you want.”

“Hrn…” Iruka-sensei glares. “Sit down immediately and I might decide not to spank you.”

“Yes, sensei.” The Copy-nin quickly hurries back to the chair and lets himself fall down on it, then gasps in pleasurable pain when the toy inside him twitches.

“You’re hopeless, you know that?”, Iruka-sensei sighs and rolls his eyes but then smirks suddenly. “I hope for you that you’re more talented with your tongue…”

“With my…” Kakashi quickly looks up at him, hopeful. “May I kiss you?!” Oh god, he wants that, so much, wants to kiss Iruka-sensei and-

“Kiss me?” The Chuunin arches an eyebrow and stalks over to him, then leans down until his lips are only a finger’s breadth away from the Copy-nin’s. “You want to kiss your sensei, Kashi-kun?”, he breathes.

“I… I…” The Jounin bites his lower lip hard to keep himself from tilting his face up to him. “Yes, sensei…” More than anything else…

“Kashi-kun…” Iruka-sensei’s breath washes teasingly over Kakashi’s lips. “You’re such a bad, naughty boy, aren’t you?”

“Yes, sensei”, Kakashi whispers breathlessly, not able to force his eye away from the Chuunin’s lips.

“Tsk, tsk…” Iruka-sensei shakes his head and straightens up abruptly, drawing a needy, disappointed whimper from the Copy-nin’s lips. “It’s time for your punishment now, Kashi-kun.”

“What… what do you want to do with me, sensei?”, Kakashi asks softly, feeling his hands tremble and even his muscles clench around the toy inside him once in anticipation.

“You’ll see.” Iruka-sensei smirks down at him. “Push the chair back. About two feet should do, I guess.”

“Yes, sensei.” Kakashi does as ordered, careful not to move his lower body too much. “And now, sensei?”

“Aren’t you eager…” The Chuunin chuckles, then walks between him and the desk, turns his back towards the Copy-nin and leans forward until he braces himself on his desk with his forearms. “Have a guess, Kashi-kun”, he breathes huskily and spreads his legs.

“Oh… oh my…”, Kakashi pants breathlessly, his hands twitching to touch the perfect buttocks displayed to him so openly, fingers itching to slip between them and tenderly stroke the sensitive opening. “May I?”

“You don’t may, Kashi-kun, I order you to”, Iruka-sensei tells him calmly. “Now.”

Kakashi doesn’t waste any more precious time but immediately lifts his shaking hands to gently but firmly massage the tanned buttocks before him, his fingers teasingly tickling the cleft between them. On a warning growl between the low sighs of pleasure escaping Iruka-sensei’s lips, he quickly moves his left hand to spread the firm globes of delicious flesh and lets the fingertips of the right stroke in circles over the tender opening.

“Mmmh…”, Iruka-sensei sighs and arches his back beautifully. “Kashi-kun… more…” It is half growled demand, half breathless plea, and it whispers right to the Jounin’s throbbing arousal.

“Yes…” Kakashi slowly leans forwards on his chair, careful not to shift the half-forgotten toy inside him not to distract himself from pleasuring the Chuunin, and first lightly licks over his left buttock.

“Kashi-kun…”, Iruka-sensei growls warningly.

“I’m sorry”, the Copy-nin whispers and quickly moves his tongue between his buttocks. Now using both his hands to spread them, he uses the tip of his tongue to tickle the tight muscle, making Iruka-sensei squirm deliciously and moan hoarsely.

“Oh yesss…” Iruka-sensei throws his head back and little tremors shake his whole body. “Yesss…”

Kakashi has to take a deep breath and quickly bites his lower lip hard not to come right there and then. This is sinfully sweet heaven, deliciously torturing hell, and he is hard, so hard it hurts slightly. But still he has to behave now and do what Iruka-sensei wants him to do, nothing else. If he behaves, then maybe Iruka-sensei will be pleased with him and reward him, maybe even kiss him.

Closing his eyes not to get carried away by the sight in front of him, he slowly licks over the Chuunin’s opening, alternately in long swipes with his tongue flattened against the skin and in light, teasing tickles of the tip. And every time he changes the caress, he is rewarded with little sighs, moans and gasps, until he finally gets to hear what he’s longed for all the time.

“So good…”, Iruka-sensei breathes. “Kashi-kun… so good…” He takes a sharp breath when the Jounin’s tongue slips inside him a little, just the way Kakashi knows he likes it. “Such a… good boy…”, he pants, his muscles twitching around the obedient tongue.

Kakashi suppresses a shudder not to interrupt his ministrations. Unsure whether he is allowed to, he slowly moves his left hand to spread the Chuunin’s buttocks and carefully trails his right hand over a strong thigh and around Iruka-sensei’s body. When he receives no disapproving reaction, he curls his fingers around him and starts to stroke slowly.

“Mrrrrh…”, Iruka-sensei purrs and this time the Jounin can’t help the violent shudder shaking his body. “So… good…” He takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Such a… pity…”

Kakashi frowns shortly in confusion but then is suddenly violently forced into a helpless tensing of his whole body when the toy inside him springs to life forcefully for a second. A strangled cry is wrenched from his mouth but Iruka-sensei’s lips on his quickly swallow it, then they’re gone again before he can even taste them.

“You’ve been a good boy, Kashi-kun”, the Chuunin whispers against his lips huskily, smirking. “But I think I have to punish you a little more still…”

“P-please…”, Kakashi whimpers, hearing his voice crack slightly and feeling finally almost at the point of breaking. “Iruka…” Now that he’s felt the lips he craves for so much, he doesn’t think he can stand any more teasing, any more games without at least being allowed to taste them more. His whole body is screaming for release, for touch, for Iruka, but most of all for his lips.

His lover’s eyes become soft immediately, soft and worried even. “Do you want to stop the game?”, he whispers. “Do you want me to end it, Kashi?” He crouches down between his legs, moves his hands to the Jounin’s pants and carefully opens them, freeing him from their painfully tight confines.

“I… n-no…” Kakashi swallows hard. “Just… kiss me, please…” He doesn’t want to end this game, not until Iruka will have done with him whatever he’s planned. But he needs to feel his lover’s lips on his so desperately, no matter whether they are Kakashi and Iruka or Kashi-kun and Iruka-sensei. “Kiss me…”

“Because kisses mean love?”, his beloved Chuunin whispers and his lips form a wonderful smile before he straightens up again and his mouth gently captures Kakashi’s.

“Yes…” He closes his eyes and for a while just basks in the warmth, the tenderness, the love Iruka is giving to him with his kiss. This, just this, is all that he needs, all that he has to have to be able to go through anything.

“Are you sure you want to go on, my love?”, his lover asks softly, tenderly nuzzling his nose with his own. “We don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable with it anymore.”

“I want.” Kakashi nods. “If only you kiss me, my angel.” Everybody other than his Chuunin would probably laugh about him for being so desperate, so dependent on a simple kiss, but everybody other than his Chuunin doesn’t know what it means to him to kiss and be kissed by Iruka, to be able to give and receive enough trust to lower his masks, both cloth and façade, to be able to kiss and not think and just feel. Only Iruka understands it, understands him, and only Iruka is able to kiss him and only, truly him.

“Love you, Kakashi.” Iruka smiles at him softly at first before his lips return to smirking. “And I think I can grant you that little wish, Kashi-kun”, he drawls, perfectly back in his role in no time. “Since you’ve been such a good boy just now…”

“Thank you, sensei”, Kakashi whispers, trembling again under the hungry gaze directed at him and because of the prospect of more kisses. “Do you want me to go on?” He licks his lips in anticipation.

“No”, Iruka-sensei decides to his greatest disappointment. “I want you to reach behind you and take the lube out of my vest. Left side, breast pocket.”

Kakashi bites back an excited whimper and whirls around on the chair, once again torturing himself by making the toy inside him move. Swallowing and doing his best to ignore Iruka-sensei’s chuckles behind him, he greedily searches the vest for the little bottle and gasps in relief when he finally finds it and pulls it out.

“Good boy”, Iruka-sensei chuckles teasingly. “Now give it to me.”

“Yes, sensei.” Eager for what is to come, Kakashi does as ordered, almost bouncing on his seat. “Do you want me to bend over the desk again?”, he asks breathlessly, his mouth dry.

“No, Kashi-kun.” Smirking, Iruka-sensei walks even closer until one of his legs is on either side of the chair, then sits down on the Jounin’s knees. “Spread your legs a little”, he whispers into his ear, then gently bites it when Kakashi obeys instantly, moving the Chuunin’s thighs further apart as well.

“Iruka-sensei…”, Kakashi whimpers softly. “Lower…” His sweet mark… if only Iruka-sensei agrees to bite it…

“Kashi-kun…” The Chuunin licks his ear. “Do you really think that you are in the position to make demands?” But despite his words he lightly scratches over the clothed crook of the Copy-nin’s left shoulder and neck with the fingernails of his right hand.

“S-sorry…”, Kakashi pants, shuddering. “But… please…”

“That’s better.” Iruka-sensei licks his left cheek, then slowly tilts his head and starts nibbling at his sweet spot through his shirt.

“Oh”, Kakashi breathes, unable to form words or coherent thoughts. He doesn’t even fully notice the low noise when Iruka-sensei opens the bottle of lubricant, only when the Chuunin stops biting him does he register that the first three fingers of Iruka-sensei’s right hand are already shining slickly. Swallowing, he takes the lubricant when it is placed into his palm, then watches how the Chuunin bends backwards a little to take the remote control into his clean hand.

“Don’t drop the bottle, Kashi-kun”, Iruka-sensei advises him, smirking.

“No, sensei”, the Jounin assures, shaking his head. “Do you want me to stand up now and-”

“Shh…” Iruka-sensei silences him with his left index finger on his lips. “Just don’t drop the bottle, Kashi-kun.” He smirks while he moves his hand down again, then presses one of the two smaller buttons on the remote control beneath the slightly larger on-off switch. “Isn’t this handy?”, he asks calmly. “I only need one finger to change the speed and turn it on or off.”

Kakashi swallows hard, his eyes fixated on the small black box.

Iruka-sensei laughs huskily and wraps his left arm around the Jounin’s neck, then snakes his right around his own waist. “Kashi-kun…”, he breathes and leans his head forwards until his lips almost touch Kakashi’s.

“Y-yes?”, the Copy-nin forces out.

“You may…” Iruka-sensei smirks but then frowns slightly while at the same time the muscles in his right arm tense. “Mmmh… you may place your hands on my waist.” He licks over Kakashi’s lips slowly when he obeys instantly. “Good boy. And you may kiss me. But!” He leans his head back slightly when eager lips reach out for his, then gasps softly and bites his lower lip.

“Yes?”, Kakashi whispers, desperate for a kiss by now. Oh, and how much he wishes he was allowed to look around Iruka-sensei, to watch how Iruka-sensei touches and prepares himself. For him, only for him.

“You are not allowed to drop the bottle”, the Chuunin reminds him sternly but then grits his teeth, his breath becoming slightly forced and harsh. “And you’re not… allowed to come… before I do…” He swallows. “Did you hear me?”

“Yes, sensei…”, Kakashi pants and once again tries to kiss him but is again evaded. “Sensei…”, he whines, just barely refraining his lips from pouting. But Iruka-sensei said he is allowed to kiss him. So mean…

The Chuunin chuckles breathlessly. “Misbehaving again, Kashi-kun?”

“No.” Kakashi shakes his head quickly.

“Ah… thought so…” Iruka-sensei smirks at him before he sighs and brings his right hand back to his front. “Lube”, he whispers, leans forward and licks over the Jounin’s lips.

Kakashi immediately catches his tongue between his lips and kisses him hungrily, all the while struggling to open the bottle. Finally succeeding, he reluctantly lets go of Iruka-sensei’s lips and looks down to pour a generous amount of oil into the Chuunin’s right palm. He gasps when the cold liquid is immediately spread over him.

“Don’t drop the bottle”, Iruka-sensei reminds him softly while he pulls a small piece of cloth out of his vest and cleans his hand.

“M-mh.” He shakes his head and quickly screws the bottle shut again, then places his palms back on the Chuunin’s hips. “I won’t, sensei, just… please…”

“Yes…” Iruka-sensei smirks devilishly and lifts his body up. “Come here”, he whispers and purrs approvingly when Kakashi immediately moves his butt forwards on the chair, whimpering softly at a movement of the toy inside him. “Good boy…”, the Chuunin breathes before he slowly lowers his body, his right hand once again snaking behind his back and gripping Kakashi to guide him.

“Iruka…”, the Jounin moans when he feels him take his tip in finally, then gasps at a sudden tightening of muscles around him. “Iruka-sensei”, he corrects immediately, gritting his teeth when he’s taken in further slowly.

“Kashi… kun…”, Iruka-sensei pants, his forehead resting on the Copy-nin’s shoulder. He pushes down until he’s sitting on his thighs again, takes several deep breaths, then lifts his head and looks at him sternly. “Don’t drop the bottle and don’t come before I do”, he advises once again before he moves his right arm to join his left around Kakashi’s neck.

“I won’t.” Kakashi leans his head forwards and sighs when he’s allowed access to the Chuunin’s lips. He gasps when Iruka-sensei starts to move on him without warning, setting a slow, deep rhythm.

“Mmh…” Biting his lower lip, Iruka-sensei throws his head backwards. “Yesss… so good…” He gasps softly and quickens his pace a little, gritting his teeth. “God… s-so… good…”

“Yes…”, Kakashi whispers back, his uncovered eye greedily roaming over the writhing body in his lap. “Aah… good…” And so, so gorgeous, so wonderful, so sinfully beautiful… so perfect, his angel, so… so…

“Remem… ber…” Iruka-sensei lets his head fall forwards again and smirks at him. “What I… ha… told you…” He once again speeds up his rhythm.

“I… I do…”, the Jounin pants back. “I d- Ah!” His eyes open wide, even the Sharingan under the cover, when suddenly the toy vibrates forcefully for a second. “N-no…”, he whimpers afterwards. “Please…”

“Remember what… I told you…” Iruka-sensei chuckles huskily. “Behave…”

“Please, I… I ca- Aah!” Kakashi throws his head back and arches up when once again the torture starts and ends. “Oh god…”, he moans weakly. “Please…” His whole body is shuddering, his hands are shaking and he can’t possibly stand this any longer, can’t endure the sensations of feeling Iruka-sensei around him and the toy inside him, can’t… can’t…

The Jounin whimpers when he feels the small bottle slip from his weak, trembling grip and hears it impact on the floor with a soft ‘clink’.

“Such a bad boy…”, Iruka-sensei breathes into his ear and accentuates the words with switching the toy on and off quickly and a simultaneous tightening of his muscles. “Misbehaving again…”

“S-sor… sorry…” Kakashi whimpers weakly, trembling still. “Iru… ka…” He tries to add the ‘-sensei’ but can’t find enough breath for it and thus has to await his punishment.

“Kashi… kun…” Iruka-sensei’s breathing is harsh and ragged, his movements starting to falter in their rhythm. “Touch me… instead…”, he demands.

“Yesss…” Kakashi hurries to blindly grab for him, his hand curling and moving without coordination or coherent thought but eagerly. “Iruka…”, he moans. “Sen… sei…”

“Kiss me”, the Chuunin orders and immediately claims his lips hard. His free hand clutches Kakashi’s mass of hair tightly and holds his head still while Iruka-sensei’s tongue is in his mouth, claiming and possessing it just like it’s supposed to be.

Kakashi isn’t able to think, is barely able to breathe, he can only move his hand on his lover and claw his other into his hip and respond to his tongue and then thrust up with his hips despite the toy inside him. And then Iruka suddenly growls into his mouth and slams his body down on him once, twice, and then the tightness around him is even harder to bear, even more delicious and he feels that he’s almost there, almost, and-

“Iruka!”, Kakashi shouts when suddenly there are teeth on his sweet mark, just hard enough to sting slightly, and then the toy suddenly violently starts to vibrate and he’s falling finally, falling and breaking and dying a sweet little bit in Iruka’s arms. He feels his body continue to thrust into his lover, feels his hands tighten on and around him and hears him hiss, in pleasure certainly and in pain maybe, but there’s nothing he can do, nothing other than gritting his teeth and screwing his eyes shut and losing himself.

It takes seconds maybe, maybe minutes, hours or an eternity for him to finally be able to breathe again, then a little longer to realise that he is not in heaven and yet still in heaven with Iruka in his arms. Not willing to give his angel the slightest chance to fly away, he quickly wraps his arms around him and buries his face in his hair.

“Hey…”, he hears his Chuunin whisper. “Can’t… breathe…” And then the toy inside him is switched off.

“Just don’t fly”, Kakashi whispers and reluctantly loosens his hold slightly.

“Think I just did…” Iruka sighs and places his head on his shoulder.

Kakashi can’t help but chuckle at that. “Why, such a compliment…”

“Hrn.” Iruka lightly nips at his neck. “You’re hopeless.” He slowly straightens up on his lover’s lap, then winces suddenly.

“Hurts?”, Kakashi asks, alarmed, and looks up. “Did I hurt you, my angel?”

“Just my hip…” His Chuunin looks down his right side and hisses softly. “Ouch.”

“What is it?” Kakashi looks down and catches sight of a big, reddened, hand-shaped bruise on his beloved’s hip and even darker crescent-shaped bruises from his fingernails. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Iruka.”

“Ah, no need to fuss over it.” His lover smiles at him reassuringly, then smirks. “At least you didn’t squeeze that much with your other hand. I would be slightly pissed then…”

“Still.” The Jounin kisses him softly. “I’m sorry, my angel.”

“Forget it, it’s nothing.” Iruka smirks even wider. “Good proof for how much you liked my game.”

“Very much. Very, very much.” Kakashi grins. “Even more than Fifty-One.” Although his Chuunin has proved to be a rather talented naughty pupil back then. Little, sweet Ruka-kun, so very shy but eager to make his sensei not angry at him anymore, so hesitant to tell him how naughty he’d been, kissing that boy, that Kashi-kun behind the school building…

“Told you Fifty-Two would be even better.” Iruka arches an eyebrow. “After all, I’m the one with the bigger experience as sensei.”

“Not experience of this kind, I hope.” Kakashi kisses him sweetly. His angel Iruka.

“No, you’re right.” Iruka kisses back. “But I think I’m rather skilled at improvising.”

“Indeed…” The Copy-nin nips his lower lip. “Would you really have spanked me with that ruler?”

“No.” Iruka nuzzles his nose against his neck. “Thought about it and found that I don’t like that idea at all. And furthermore, you didn’t spank me either.”

“Didn’t like the idea either.” Kakashi gently nibbles at his lover’s shoulder. “You slapped my butt though.”

“Well, that’s not spanking, not really.” His Chuunin lifts his head and grins at him. “That’s… mmh… obedience training?”

“It was damn hot.” Kakashi grins back. “Just as everything else.” He licks over his lover’s lips. “I can’t wait to try that toy on you.”

“Mrrrh… glad you approve…” Iruka leans forward and kisses him slowly, lazily. Then the Jounin feels gentle fingers on him, pulling him out of his lover carefully.

“Can you walk home, my angel?”, Kakashi whispers softly. He knows he can always use that healing jutsu on his beloved but he knows as well that his Chuunin likes it to feel the evidence of their love-making if the pain’s not too harsh and there’s no mission for him the next day.

“Can manage, I think.” Iruka smirks. “At least my clothes are clean.”

“Hm?” The Copy-nin frowns but then looks down on himself and catches sight of suspicious white stains all over his shirt and the crotch of his pants. “I’ll just leave the way I came here then. But this time with you in my arms.”

“Ah.” His Chuunin grins. “I really wonder why you had to jutsu here…”

“Your fault.” Kakashi quickly takes his lips in a deep kiss. “I became hard the second I found your note telling me that Iruka-sensei wanted to see me in his classroom immediately and that if I didn’t want to make matters worse, I should better not be late.”

“Thought so.” Iruka sniggers. “Naughty Kashi, you.”

“Can we play Fifty-One in here the next time, too?”, Kakashi asks eagerly. Oh yes, and then Kakashi-sensei will punish naughty Ruka-kun and have him lie on the teacher’s desk on his back and the-

“No”, Iruka declares sternly.

“No?” Kakashi frowns, then pouts. “Why not?” The desk has the perfect height for taking naughty Ruka-kun in that position, very much unlike the table in their kitchen where he’s painfully bumped his upper thighs against the last time. That stupid thing’s perfect for Iruka being the one doing the taking but just a tiny little bit too low for him.

“Because…” The Chuunin smirks, then hooks his finger under the collar of Kakashi’s shirt, pulls and quickly attaches gentle teeth to his newly exposed special spot.

“Bec… cause…”, Kakashi pants, trembling.

“Because this is my classroom, Kashi-kun”, Iruka-sensei tells him.

“Y-yes…”, the Jounin whimpers weakly.

“Good boy.” Iruka-sensei smirks at him, then Iruka kisses him. “Go home now, love?”

“Anything you want, my angel.” Kakashi tenderly kisses back. His angel. His Iruka-sensei. His Ruka-kun. His Iruka.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN2:
This was written because somebody told me that Kakashi always had to be seme, even in a loving relationship, because he needed to be in control and only the seme was in control during sex. Well, since I strongly believe in equal relationships and not at all in the myth that there exists something like the seme or the uke in homosexual relationships (and know that only the respective uke decides when it’s sex and when it’s rape and therefore holds the ultimate control), I felt challenged. Sooo… Kakashi is seme in this and isn’t he in control like wow? Has Iruka completely at his will, wouldn’t you all agree?
Nayru hates narrow-minded people…
Anyway, hope you liked it. Oh, and I’m thinking about ‘publishing’ Kakashi’s Iruka Fantasies list in the next part of this series. I’d be happy for suggestions.

Nayru

Claws And Teeth, Chapter 4

2008-02-13T17:16:40Z

Title: Claws And Teeth
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: T
Spoilers: Very slight spoilers for the events right after the Chuunin Exams
Status: Chapter 4 of 4
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't make money.

Claws And Teeth

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 4

“I can’t believe it! He’s still out cold, so why does he have such a death grip on it?!”

He frowned. What was that noise all about? He’d dreamt such a nice dream right now. He’d been being carried around and he’d had someone he’d been happy to be with and who’d protected him…

“Let’s just give up, Naruto, I don’t think-”

“No way! I want to see it! I won’t let this chance slip!”

He groaned. He should have known that Naruto was causing all the commotion. Either he or Konohamaru.

“What’s going on here?”, he croaked, noticing with surprise that his voice sounded as if he hadn’t used it for days.

“Iruka-sensei!”, he heard Naruto shout. “You’re awake! Sakura-chan, go and get Tsunade-obachan here!”

“Who could sleep through the noise you were making?”, Iruka growled, opened his eyes slowly and looked into the direction the voice of his favourite ex-student had come from. He groaned again when he saw that Naruto had his hands wrapped around the wrists of Hatake Kakashi who was lying asleep in a bed next to him and had his hands in front of his maskless face.

“How do you feel?!”, Naruto shouted and let go, then bounced over to him.

“Slightly dizzy”, the Chuunin confessed. “Like I’ve stood up too fast and-”

…

Hatake Kakashi?

Maskless?

Bed?!

“What the honey happened here?!”, Iruka shouted and sat up. “Where am I?!”

“Can’t you remember?”

“What should I-” Iruka broke off.

Chasing Naruto around. Kakashi behind a corner. Not able to stop. Crash. Powder. And then-

“You were turned into a-”

“Oh god!” The Chuunin grabbed his head with both his hands. “Please tell me that it’s not true!” It couldn’t be true! That was impossible!

“It’s true”, somebody told him suddenly.

“No…”, Iruka whimpered while he looked up to see Tsunade stand in the door.

“Yes”, she told him. “You two have given me quite a headache.”

“And I was… and Kakashi-sensei, too… and we were…” Iruka shook his head in shocked disbelief.

Had he really been planning to become Hatake Kakashi’s mate?!

-----

Hrm… Why was there somebody talking in his bedroom? There shouldn’t be anybody here, least of all his students or the Hokage, and-

Now who was that other voice? Kakashi immediately felt his body relax when he heard it, then a strange feeling started to spread through him. He knew that voice…

“I can’t believe it”, the voice said.

Kakashi felt the strange, warm feeling increase even more and decided to open his eyes and find out who made him feel so… content. At ease. Happy.

“Better start believing”, Tsunade said and snorted. “I don’t think Genma will ever let you live that down.”

Genma, right. Kakashi blinked and saw a white ceiling above him. He’d have to talk to the senbon-chewer quite soon and make him understand something. Something about possessions and exclusiveness. Something about… about a mate. Kakashi’s mate.

But first he had to find his mask.

-----

That couldn’t be true! It just couldn’t be true! He had to be dreaming! Yes, and he would wake up very soon and then there would have been no powder and no thoughts about becoming anybody’s mate and-

“Iruka-sensei, is everything alright?”, he heard Naruto ask. “You look like you’ll start hyperventilating soon.”

“Everything’s… fine…”, Iruka forced out. “I just have… to wake up…”

“Wake up? But you’re not sleeping.”

“I am. I have to be.” Oh, please! He just had to be sleeping! Had to be dreaming!

“Now really”, Tsunade snorted. “What’s the big deal? You’ve only been an animal for a couple of days.”

“No.” Iruka shook his head. “No. No. No. N-” He looked up when he heard cloth rip.

-----

Ha, better than nothing. Kakashi tied the strip of his blanket around his face but frowned the moment the cloth touched his skin. It was very itchy. Very, very itchy. Very, very, very i-

“Finally awake, too?”

“Hm.” Kakashi shrugged and chose to ignore the Hokage in favour of looking for the one whose voice had had such nice effects on him. He immediately scratched Tsunade and his students from the list, then his eyes fell on the occupant of the bed beside his and he froze.

Iruka.

His Iruka.

Kakashi growled and moved to get out of his bed and towards his mate. His Iruka looked upset, and the Jounin would make sure to-

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you.”

The Copy-nin growled again and turned around to Tsunade. What did that woman want from him now?

“You don’t have a fur anymore, you know”, she told him calmly, then leered. “Although I have to say… I wouldn’t really mind if you ran around like that a little. But I don’t think your students would like that.”

“Really, Kakashi-sensei!”, Naruto wailed and covered his eyes with his hands. “Cover yourself, will you?!”

Kakashi frowned and looked down on his body, then flinched when he noticed that he was naked and almost totally exposed except for the blanket barely covering his groin. He felt himself blush and hastily yanked the cloth around himself. Shit!

-----

Iruka swallowed hard while he futilely tried to force his eyes away from the smooth, unbelievably pale skin of the Jounin next to him. He wanted nothing more than crawl over and touch and stroke and lick and-

The Chuunin gasped and shook his head hastily. He couldn’t do that! And he also didn’t really want that! It was only… only… only the powder that made him act like that, that forced his eyes back to Kakashi and made his heart pound in his chest and his hands sweat and his breath go ragged. Only the powder!

Right?

-----

Alright. Alright… Kakashi took a deep breath. He was human again. He had no fur anymore. He couldn’t run around naked anymore.

But he could still be with Iruka, couldn’t he?

More nervous than he’d ever been in his life, the Copy-nin lifted his head again to look at the Chuunin. He had to swallow at the intense look in Iruka’s eyes and almost jumped up and pounced on the other. In fact, pouncing on Iruka seemed more appealing with every passing second, and Kakashi couldn’t really remember why he hadn’t done it yet and why he didn’t do it right then and the-

Then Iruka looked away from him.

Kakashi felt his chest clench in cruel, overwhelming, suffocating pain.

-----

He had to get out of here! He had to get away from Kakash-

Iruka gasped at the pain this thought caused inside him. But how was that possible? He’d never gotten along well with the Jounin. Whenever they’d talked, they’d ended up arguing or with Kakashi teasing him until he had shouted at the Jounin. And whenever he’d done that, the Chuunin had felt so bad, so hurt, so sad even, and had wanted to just go and embrace the Copy-nin to be near him and-

No!

That… that desire to be near Kakashi was caused by the events of the last days! He hadn’t felt it before! He never-

…

Iruka shook his head. He was a coward.

-----

Kakashi took a deep, shuddering breath. He heard somebody talk behind him, but he didn’t understand a single word. He could just look at Iruka. At his Iruka. At the man he desired, wanted, craved for, maybe even lo-

“I want my clothes”, he heard Iruka say calmly.

“They’re somewhere next to your bed”, Naruto answered. “We brought new clothes for you both because the old ones were full of powder and Tsunade-obachan said that they should better be burned.”

“Alright.” The Chuunin turned his back towards the others to look for his clothes and Kakashi could only stare at the broad back that made his insides burn with want. He let his eyes trail over the tanned skin, devouring every inch of it, until they settled on the big scar between Iruka’s shoulder blades. Immediately, hatred and anger flared at the man who had dared to hurt the Chuunin. If Kakashi ever got his hands on him, that bastard would-

“Could you please leave now so we can dress?”, Iruka asked while he tied his hair up, then turned to face them again, and the blank look in his face made Kakashi cringe.

-----

He had to do this. He had to run away now, no matter how cowardly it was. Before he acted on an impulse and did something that he would regret later.

“Fine, we’ll go”, Tsunade agreed. “Just know that the powder probably will have after-effects on you, and therefore I want-”

“After-effects?”, Iruka asked.

“Yes.” The Hokage nodded. “I’m not completely sure what they’ll be, but I guess you two should feel quite… animalistic for the rest of the day or even longer.”

“‘Animalistic’?”, Kakashi asked, and the Chuunin couldn’t restrain himself from imagining that voice call his name.

“You know…” Tsunade waved her hand. “Short attention span, lower tolerance against annoyance and temptation, that kind of stuff.”

“Even lower tolerance against annoyance?!”, Naruto squawked. “Iruka-sensei will kill somebody then!”

“Thank you, Naruto”, Iruka groaned and shook his head, but his annoyance was immediately washed away completely when he heard the Jounin beside him laugh. He wanted to have that laugh for himself, wanted Kakashi to never laugh for anybody except him, wanted-

Iruka shook his head. After-effects. That had to be it.

-----

After-effects, hu? Kakashi pondered that. Maybe that was why he was acting like that towards Iruka. Maybe this were just the past days that came back now to haunt him. Maybe.

“However.” Tsunade grinned. “Because of the after-effects, I want you both to stay home for the next two or three days, understood?”

“Understood”, Kakashi answered reluctantly. He wanted to be with Iruka, just with Iruka, and the place didn’t matter at all. How should he be able to stay without him for two or three days?

“Alright, we’ll let you dress now”, Tsunade said and left with his students.

Kakashi sighed. He didn’t really want to dress. Or Iruka to dress.

-----

Iruka sighed while he stood up from the bed and took his clothes. The sooner he got away from Kakashi, from all those desires and emotions he felt mingle and stir inside himself, the better he would be able to gather his thoughts again. And he had to understand what he really felt, what he wanted and what was caused by the powder only.

And what Kakashi wanted. No matter what he himself wanted, he couldn’t risk doing anything and being told later that the Jounin had never wanted the same, that he’d only been searching for something short and physical and… and something that wasn’t what he wanted and what would hurt him. He couldn’t do short and physical, he knew that. There was no way he would ever be able to let anybody close to his body without his heart getting close, too.

Iruka looked up while he put on his boxers and caught Kakashi staring at him. Immediately, the Chuunin felt a deep blush creep over his face.

-----

Oh, all… Kakashi gasped. Iruka was even more beautiful when he blushed! And the way some strands of his hair fell out of the ponytail and framed his face! And his eyes, his beautiful, deep eyes that seemed to invite the Jounin to lose himself and-

“Would you mind to turn around?”

Kakashi’s chest clenched. “I’m… sorry?”, he croaked.

“Would you…” Iruka seemed to swallow hard. “Turn around?”

“But I…” Kakashi reached out his hand to him but stopped and let it fall down again. “Yes, Iruka… sensei…”

Damn, it hurt.

-----

Why did it hurt so much?

Iruka sighed and quickly put on his clothes, hearing rustling behind him while Kakashi did the same. Oh, and the clothes felt like sand paper on his skin. He really would have preferred to stay naked. If there hadn’t been…

Iruka shook his head. No! Not thinking about him. Or about them, if there had been a ‘them’. He needed to get out of here. He needed to get away from the risk Kakashi meant, from the temptation to just do something without a care for the consequences.

Grabbing his vest and headband from the bed, the Chuunin hurried towards the door of the small room, hoping to get away without any more… any more…

But a hand on his wrist stopped him.

-----

He hadn’t allowed his hand to move. It had just happened.

Afraid that Iruka would get angry, Kakashi slowly lifted his gaze towards the Chuunin’s face. But the fear in those wonderful, brown eyes was even worse.

“Let… let me…” Iruka’s eyes were wide.

“Please…” Kakashi didn’t know what he was pleading for. Only that Iruka was the only one who could give it to him. And again, his body moved without his consent and drew the Chuunin closer until their chests almost touched. “Please…”

-----

“Please…”

Iruka wanted to give in to this soft plea. He wanted to give Kakashi everything he would ever ask for, no matter what it would be. But he was so afraid of it, too.

“Ka… kashi…” He had to get away here, he had to. He couldn’t risk to do something now and then regret it later. He couldn’t… couldn’t…

Still, he didn’t move when Kakashi let go of his wrist and instead curled his hand around his neck, then slowly leaned in.

-----

Almost… almost… and then he would feel Iruka’s lips… almo-

“Iruka-sensei, Kakash-” And a surprised gasp.

“Sasuke-kun!” And suddenly, Kakashi felt his body being shoved away from his desire.

“I… I…”, the boy stammered. “I only… Tsunade-sama…”

“I’ll… I’ll go ask her myself.” And before he could do anything, Kakashi had to look at Iruka hurrying out of the room.

“Iruka…” His voice was barely there, almost inaudible even to himself, and broken, just as broken as his heart felt. “Iruka…”

But Iruka was gone from him.

“Kakashi-sensei?”

Kakashi couldn’t answer, couldn’t even look at his student. His body felt so weak suddenly that his legs crumbled under his weight and he fell to his knees. And then he couldn’t even stay like that anymore and had to curl up on the cold floor, curled around the heart in his chest that seemed to have stopped beating the moment Iruka had left him.

“Iruka…”

-----

Iruka wasn’t sure whether or not he’d heard a soft call from the room he’d just left. He wasn’t sure about anything by now, only that he had to get away as soon as possible and-

“Iruka-sensei?”

“Yes, Sasuke-kun?”, Iruka sighed, stopped and turned around to him. He didn’t want to talk to the boy now. He didn’t want to talk to anybody now. He felt so exhausted, so weak and tired. And something hurt inside him.

“Iruka-sensei, when you were changed, were your feelings towards Naruto changed, too?”

“No, they weren’t.” What did Sasuke want? And why didn’t he just let him go home and hide in his bed?

“And you remember everything that happened?”

“Yes, Sasuke-kun.” Iruka sighed again. That was the problem, wasn’t it?

“And do you think that the powder has affected your emotions towards Naruto?”

“No, Sasuke-kun, I already said that. So why do you-”

“Then why do you think it changed Kakashi-sensei’s feelings for you? Or yours for him?”, the boy asked before he turned around and left a frozen Iruka in the hospital’s hallway.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Kakashi sat on the couch in his living room, his nose buried into his newest volume of Icha Icha Paradise, but he couldn’t focus on the book at all.

Iruka had run away from him. He hadn’t wanted him.

For about the hundredths time since he’d woken up in the hospital that day, the Jounin felt his insides cramp painfully. He hadn’t even known the Chuunin that well before all of this had happened, just thought of him as Naruto’s former teacher, a colleague with quite a temper and, if he was honest with himself, as somebody he wouldn’t have minded at all to have a fling with. But that had been all.

Really.

At least if he kept lying to himself.

Because if he was completely, painfully honest with himself – which he decided better not to be – he would have had to admit that he had found Iruka very attractive and interesting, even intriguing for quite some time and that he would have liked to have much more than just a fling with the Chuunin even before the incident. But being honest wasn’t a good idea right now. Especially not while the sheer thought of never being able to be near Iruka like he’d been the last days made his world shutter to pieces and his heart bleed.

Sighing heavily, Kakashi put his book away, closed his eyes and rubbed his face with his hands. What could he do? How could he win Iruka back? Even if it was just for being friends, he wanted so badly to-

A knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts. Kakashi got up, reluctantly pulled his mask over his face and frowned at the itching the cloth still caused on his skin, then walked over and opened the door.

His whole body and his mind froze when he saw the object of his craving stand in front of him like a dream come true.

-----

“Hello, Kakashi-sensei”, Iruka greeted while he tried his best to hide his nervousness and to not fidget at the sight in front of him. It had been one of the most difficult things he’d ever done only to come here.

“I… I-Iruka-sensei”, the Jounin stuttered, staring at him wide-eyed.

“I would like to talk to you about what happened”, Iruka said and almost took a step back to resist the urge to touch the other that their nearness caused. “May I come in?”

“S-sure.” Kakashi took a step back, still staring at him. “Please… come in and… sit down.”

“Thank you”, the Chuunin murmured and stepped out of his sandals, then sighed softly. It felt so weird to wear clothes again, and shoes were definitely one of the worst things he had to wear now that he was his human self again.

Iruka went further into the Copy-nin’s apartment, then sat down on a chair opposite of the big couch, hoping that not being too close to Kakashi would help him think straight. Reluctantly, he restrained himself from stretching and slumping onto the chair on his back.

“What can I do for you?”, Kakashi asked while he sat down on the couch.

Yes, Iruka had asked himself that quite often in the last hours, too. But still he hadn’t found an answer yet. Or rather… he thought that he knew the answer, but was a little afraid of acting like it. Even now, only being near the Jounin made him want to do things that he never thought he would ever be able to want to do so much, and that was… unsettling, to say the least.

Maybe it had been a mistake to come here at all. Maybe he should have stayed home until the after-effects would have worn off and then come to talk to Kakashi. Maybe then he wouldn’t crave to bite-nip-lick-touch-taste-feel the other this badly. Maybe all of it was just because of the powder and its effects.

Maybe.

But still… this other feeling hadn’t been there before. This feeling of loneliness, of sadness and despair even, that had settled itself into his heart the moment he’d left the hospital room. The moment he’d left Kakashi. A feeling like this couldn’t be caused by the powder that was only designed to strengthen animalistic characteristics, or could it?

Iruka sighed. Maybe he should try and become friends with the Jounin, and then, after they would be able to think clearly again, they could see what else would develop and what had been caused by their changed forms only.

-----

Iruka was with him!

Kakashi restrained himself from crawling towards the Chuunin and rubbing his head against him although it took all of his willpower. Instead, he moved backwards on his couch and tried to sink between the back pillows in hope that they would help him to behave like the human he was again.

“I thought we could… talk about everything”, Iruka told him.

“Yes, that’s… a good idea.” Kakashi nodded, feeling his heart race in his chest only from hearing the Chuunin’s soft voice and the images in his head of how it would be to hear Iruka whisper his name and purr and maybe even moan and-

Kakashi desperately shook his head. He couldn’t go there!

“Yes…” Iruka scratched his nose, then laughed nervously. “Quite strange, isn’t it?”

“Yes, you’re right.” Kakashi tried to laugh, too, but it sounded false, so he quickly stopped again.

An uncomfortable silence settled.

-----

So Kakashi felt uncomfortable, too. Iruka sighed and shook his head. This situation was not only uncomfortable, it was ridiculous! They were both adults, they should be able to talk about… about… about whatever this was. About whatever they’d had.

If they’d ever had anything.

Iruka sighed at the pain this thought caused in his chest and wondered which god he’d angered to deserve this. And Kakashi, too. The Chuunin didn’t like to see the other so distressed. He was almost at the point to go over and rub his head against him to-

But that was not a good idea. At least probably not.

Iruka sighed again. This was confusing and annoying and most of all so frustrating that he was almost about to scream his anger out!

And rip his vest off. The stiff cloth was hindering his movements and driving him insane!

-----

Kakashi shook his head and looked down to his hands. At this rate, Iruka would never exchange a single word with him after this day. And the Jounin really couldn’t blame him. Everything was just too strange, and he didn’t even know how the other had felt about him while they-

“Aw honey!”, Iruka interrupted his thoughts. “I’m sorry, Kakashi-sensei, but this feels just so uncomfortable.”

“Yes, I know.” Kakashi sighed miserably. He didn’t know what he could do to make the Chuunin stay, he didn’t even know what to say. Everything was confusing, and as if that hadn’t been bad enough, the skin under his mask started to prickle from the now odd feeling to be covered.

“So is it okay when I take it off?”

“Take… take it off?”, the Jounin stammered and looked up. What was Iruka talking about?

“Yes.” The Chuunin nodded and smiled. “Seems like we have to get used to wearing clothes again.” He laughed. “I don’t know how you feel about it, but I think that shoes, gloves and the vest are worst.”

Enraptured, Kakashi could only nod weakly and then watch how Iruka opened his vest and shrugged it off, sighing deeply in relief. When the Chuunin stretched his back gracefully and moaned softly, the Copy-nin had to force his gaze away not to risk pouncing on the other.

“Doesn’t your mask feel weird, too?”, he heard Iruka ask. “Why don’t you wear something looser instead?”

“You’re right.” Kakashi looked up and smiled at the honest concern he heard in the Chuunin’s voice. “It’s itching and driving me completely insane.” Without further thinking about it, he pulled the cloth down.

-----

Oh all… Iruka stared into the Jounin’s bare face and swallowed hard. He hadn’t expected Kakashi to just pull the mask down, and now he could see his face and…

That man was a feast for the eyes!

Iruka let his eyes travel over the Copy-nin’s face and devoured smooth, unbelievably pale skin, a straight nose and probably the most delicious lips he’d ever seen. Immediately, images of Kakashi’s naked body flooded his thoughts, along with a quite lively fantasy about how it would be to taste the pale skin and those lips and-

Iruka swallowed again and felt his stomach flutter and heart race, then made a decision that he’d meant to make for a long time by now.

Screw becoming friends. He had to make that one his mate!

-----

Oh.

He had shown his face.

Kakashi blinked, then blinked again, then mentally slapped himself over the head. Grrreat! Just grrreat! Now he couldn’t even hope that Iruka would stick around to get a look at-

“Do you mind?”

Kakashi jumped slightly. “I’m sorry?”

“Do you mind if I take out my hair-tie?”, the Chuunin asked, his hands already on his hair. “The pulling on my skin is really enervating.”

“You… I… sure…”, Kakashi murmured, his eyes glued to Iruka’s hair. Ever since he’d seen it in the hospital, he’d tried to remember as clearly as possible how the Chuunin had looked wearing it open, and now he would actually see it again!

He wasn’t sure if he could stand the sight without losing the last bits of his self-control though…

-----

Excruciatingly slowly Iruka moved his hands to his hair-tie, then pulled it out and closed his eyes. He could feel his long strands of hair fall down and whisper over his face and sighed in bliss when he felt his scalp relax. Opening his eyes slowly, he hoped that Kakashi liked the sight, and he wasn’t disappointed when he saw the look on the Copy-nin’s face.

The Chuunin suppressed a snigger. Genma had told him once that he looked ‘gorgeous’ with his hair down, and it seemed that the Special Jounin wasn’t the only one who thought so: Kakashi looked practically enraptured, his mouth open and his uncovered eye almost perfectly round, and Iruka almost expected the Jounin to start drooling.

In this case he wouldn’t even have to tell him that he didn’t wear underwear at the moment.

-----

Gor… geous… Kakashi knew he was staring openly, but even with all of his remaining willpower he couldn’t force his gaze away from the Chuunin in front of him. He even felt his legs twitch in an attempt to get nearer to Iruka.

When the Chuunin closed his eyes again and combed his hair with his fingers, Kakashi could feel his body move on its own and straighten up, then take a step towards the object of his desires. He felt his arm lift itself and his hand reach out… to… touch…

No!

Kakashi shook his head and hastily jumped back to the couch, then closed his eyes tight. He couldn’t do that! He couldn’t just touch Iruka! The Chuunin would certainly get angry and yell at him and storm out and never come back, and then Kakashi would never be able to be near him again.

The thought of losing Iruka like that made the Jounin’s chest clench so much he couldn’t breathe.

-----

Iruka opened his eyes slowly when he heard a noise only to see Kakashi on the farthest end of the couch, eyes screwed shut and hands twitching. The sight almost caused the Chuunin to walk over and scratch the other’s back to comfort him, but Iruka restrained himself in the last moment to ponder how to go on instead.

Well, if he had ever doubted that Kakashi wanted him still, the Copy-nin’s behaviour now was the best proof that all doubts had been in vain. And if Iruka had ever doubted that he wanted Kakashi, the fast beating of his heart caused by the earlier realisation was the best proof that he’d never been so wrong ever before.

All that was left to do now was to make sure that Kakashi realised that, too.

-----

Kakashi didn’t dare to open his eyes. If he did so, he wouldn’t be able to guarantee not to jump Iruka and try to rip off his clothes and then bite him and claim him and take hi-

“-with you?”

“Wh-what?” Kakashi jumped and opened his eyes, grateful when his body behaved and didn’t pounce on the Chuunin. At least for the moment.

“I asked if I could sit with you on the couch”, Iruka repeated, smiling gently, but the Jounin noticed an odd glint in his eyes that sent shivers down his spine.

“Sit… with me?”, he repeated and sank the short fingernails of his right hand deeply into the palm of his left, hoping that the pain would distract him from the desire boiling inside him.

“Yes.” Iruka nodded. “This chair’s uncomfortable.”

“Sure”, Kakashi forced out, then watched, captivated, how the Chuunin stood up gracefully, stretched again and moved over to him before he-

Kakashi gasped when Iruka sat down in his lap, facing and straddling him. What- Why- How- Wh-

“Mmmmh…”, Iruka purred, sending shivers through the Jounin’s whole body. “This is nice…”

“Y-yes”, Kakashi croaked. He felt that his hands lifted themselves to touch the Chuunin and forced them down again. Trying to restrain himself, he clutched the cloth of the couch, feeling his body shake slightly.

“Oh, you still have the scratch from me”, the Chuunin observed and gently touched his nose with one fingertip. “Does it still hurt?”, he asked and tilted his head slightly.

Kakashi shook his head and swallowed, then desperately tightened his hold on the couch. By now he had to use his chakra to keep his lower body from reacting to the other’s touch.

“But you deserved it, at least the first two times”, Iruka told him. “You were trying to bite and claim me without my permission.”

“I know”, the Copy-nin forced out through gritted teeth, breathing heavily from the effort to restrain himself. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Iruka smirked down at him, then leaned his head forward and-

Kakashi felt the cloth under his fingers rip when the Chuunin’s tongue lapped slowly over the tip of his nose.

-----

The other was butter in his hands. Iruka smirked triumphantly before he licked over the Jounin’s nose again. He had made up his mind finally and knew now that he wanted Kakashi, came whatever might. And he would do anything to get and, more importantly, keep what he wanted. And even if Kakashi only wanted something short and physical – which he highly doubted by now – he would just convince him to want something else. He could be very convincing if needed to be.

“Iruka?”, he heard the Copy-nin whisper, his voice sounding strained, even a little lost.

“Yes, Kakashi?” The Chuunin leaned back and arched an eyebrow. Why did the stupid Jounin want to talk when they could do so much better things right now?

“Why… why so suddenly?” He saw Kakashi swallow hard, his hands tugging at the torn cloth in an obvious attempt to touch. “Why do you want this so suddenly? You didn’t want it when we were… before.”

“I’ve thought about it”, Iruka told him. “Before we changed back, there was always the question whether I would submit to you, and I didn’t want that. I’m not the submissive type.” He shrugged. “But now that we’re humans again, none of us will have to submit. There’ll be no alpha-male.”

Kakashi nodded hastily, obviously recognising the last sentence as the demand it was. “I… I don’t want you to be submissive.” He let go of the cloth, his hands hovering in the air for some moments before he placed them on the Chuunin’s hips carefully.

“Good.” Iruka grinned, then leaned forward again and licked over the Jounin’s lips slowly. He felt Kakashi part them almost hesitantly and let his tongue slide in and meet the other’s in a gentle caress.

“Good.” He felt Kakashi relax finally and grin, then arms around him. When the Jounin pulled him close rather roughly, Iruka purred in delight, pressed his lips onto the inviting ones before him and kissed him deeply.

-----

Kakashi felt like he was in heaven right now. He had Iruka in his arms and Iruka wanted him!

Sighing in bliss, the Copy-nin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the Chuunin in his arms, a little spicy and earthy and most of all perfect, arousing and delicious. He felt his body react enthusiastically to the sensations Iruka caused and warily opened his eye again to look for disapproval, then took in a sharp breath when the other didn’t complain but even rocked his hips forward slightly.

“Good?”, the Chuunin asked, a broad smirk on his lips.

Kakashi purred and closed his eye again when he felt Iruka’s mouth travel over his cheek and jaw, then towards his ear, then gentle teeth nibbling at the lobe. More than good.

“I like it when you purr”, Iruka whispered into his ear. “I hope you’ll still do it even after the after-effects of the powder will have worn off. I will want to hear it very often.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Kakashi grinned, understanding that Iruka had just offered, demanded almost, to have a relationship instead of a one-night-stand only. “I will purr for you as often as you want me to.” As long as Iruka stayed with him.

“Good.” He once again felt teeth on his ear, biting gently. “Good, Kakashi.”

Grinning broadly, the Jounin opened his eyes, then tilted his head to kiss the side of the- of his Chuunin’s neck, trailing his lips towards the crook to the shoulder and up again and then-

When his eyes fell onto the back of Iruka’s neck, Kakashi suddenly felt the almost overwhelming urge to bite and claim him.

But he couldn’t do that! Iruka had said that he didn’t want to submit, and the Jounin didn’t want him to either. Biting him would mean to demand just that, so he couldn’t do it. Not even a little bite. Not the tiniest… little… bite…

His body moving without his consent, Kakashi felt his head tilt until his mouth was almost where he craved to mark Iruka, to claim him. All it would take was a little bite, he wouldn’t even hurt him, just bite a little and make sure that nobody else could take what-

No!

Using all the willpower his mind was able to muster, the Copy-nin leaned his head back slightly. But still, his eyes were fixated onto the back of Iruka’s neck and he couldn’t do anything against it.

-----

Iruka could feel Kakashi shift and tense beneath him. Was the Jounin uncomfortable with it suddenly? He wasn’t going to shy away now, or was he? Iruka would sure like honey do anything necessary to prevent that!

Slightly nervous, the Chuunin felt how Kakashi leaned his head forward again and kissed the side of his neck before he travelled further down, his teeth grazing Iruka’s tender skin and making him shiver. He knew this behaviour from somewhere, but he couldn’t quite get where he’d fe-

Then it clicked.

Iruka grinned. So the wish was still there… And he knew exactly what he was going to do about it.

-----

“Kakashi…”, the Copy-nin heard a voice whisper into his ear, effectively making him snap his head back. With a sudden pang of guilt and shame, he realised that he’d almost given in to the primal instinct.

“Y-yes?”, he forced out. Had Iruka noticed what he’d been about to do? Was he angry now?

“Kakashi…”, Iruka whispered again, “You can bite me if you want…”

Kakashi gave a surprised start. “Wh-what?”

“If you want it, you can bite and claim me”, his Chuunin purred.

“Really?!”

Iruka laughed softly. “Yes.”

“But… but you-”

“But only under one condition.” Iruka straightened up in his lap and looked at him.

“Condition?”, Kakashi asked although he didn’t really care. He knew he would do anything to claim this gorgeous man as his and his alone.

“One condition”, his Chuunin affirmed. “Do you want to hear it?”

“Yes!” Kakashi nodded eagerly. He wanted to hear it! And then he wanted to bite and claim and possess and never give away again and-

“I’ll allow you to bite and claim me, Kakashi…”, Iruka purred and moved his head towards the Copy-nin’s ear again, “and I’ll even accept you as my… alpha-male, but…”

“B-but?”, Kakashi panted, his eyes inevitably drawn to the back of his Chuunin’s neck again and his body shivering in anticipation.

“But only if you let me claim you and accept me as your alpha-male, too…”

-----

Iruka watched the neck before him while he waited for Kakashi to answer. The longer his eyes trailed over the smooth skin that was visible over the mask, the more the urge to claim the Jounin as his grew. He couldn’t wait to sink his teeth into the pale neck and stake his claim… The only thing he needed was Kakashi’s permission.

“Can there be two alpha-males?”, he heard the other ask, but there was only curiosity in Kakashi’s voice, no trace of hesitation.

“I don’t care”, Iruka told him and licked over the Copy-nin’s ear. “I’ll let you be my alpha-male if you let me be yours.” He grinned and moved his lips even closer to the sensitive, moist skin, then breathed, “I know I will enjoy letting you… bite me. Just as much as I’ll enjoy… biting you.”

“Oh god…”, Kakashi moaned, obviously getting everything implied in the statement. “Oh my… yes, Iruka…”

“Good…” Iruka moved his head back, then grabbed the Jounin’s hair with both hands and crushed their lips together in a passionate kiss that left both panting when it ended.

“Claim me…”, Kakashi whispered, and the Chuunin felt his body shudder in aroused anticipation.

“Yes”, he panted and roughly turned the other’s head to bare more of his skin and be able to reach the back of Kakashi’s neck with his teeth. “Mine”, Iruka growled, feeling his primal instincts take over, but he didn’t care. He was almost grateful for them since he didn’t know whether he would have had the courage to take the first step without his animalistic side still strengthened. And even if he acted this boldly because of the powder, he knew that he wouldn’t change his mind regarding his feelings for Kakashi once the after-effects would have worn off. And Kakashi neither.

Iruka opened his mouth and bared his teeth, then licked over the tender skin before him. He almost regretted marring the Jounin’s pale neck, but he knew that he couldn’t fight the urge anymore, didn’t really want to either.

Kakashi was his mate, his and only his, his perfect mate, his lover, and Iruka would never let him go again.

----

When he felt teeth sink deeply into his neck, breaking the skin, drawing blood and a sharp pain, Kakashi couldn’t help but moan hoarsely, a little out of pain but mostly out of arousal. This was what he’d wanted, what he’d really wanted for so long by now.

“Mine”, Iruka repeated against his bleeding skin, then his tongue licked soothingly over it. “Now claim me, Kakashi”, he demanded afterwards.

“So eager…”, Kakashi panted, smirking, although he could feel his body shake and his hands twitch in impatience.

“Don’t play with me now!”, Iruka growled and turned to look at him, the look in his eyes burning and promising and demanding, and it made the Jounin shudder even harder. “Claim me now, Kakashi!”

“I will”, the Copy-nin told him breathlessly. “I will make you mine, Iruka.”

“Yesss!”, his Chuunin hissed, then claimed his mouth in a searing kiss, letting Kakashi taste a slight hint of his own blood on his tongue.

Kakashi moaned into Iruka’s mouth and felt his desire to bite-claim-take grow until it became impossible for him to resist any longer. He fisted his hands into Iruka’s long, brown hair and tilted his Chuunin’s head to the side, then bared his teeth and moved his mouth towards the other’s neck.

When Kakashi let his teeth graze the tender skin and felt his Chuunin shudder in his arms, he swore to himself that he never would let go of Iruka again. His mate. His perfect mate. His and only his lover.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

The End

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:
I’m sorry for the long wait but I had a Flu of Doom (still have, to be precise.) Anyway, I hope the ending hits your likings since I got so many different suggestions for it.

Nayru

Claws And Teeth, Chapter 3

2008-01-21T19:38:01Z

Title: Claws And Teeth
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: T
Summary: An accident, an experiment gone wrong, and suddenly there’s a whole new perspective for them. And fur.
Spoilers: None
Status: Chapter 3 of 4
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

Claws And Teeth

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 3

“They’re so cute!”, Sakura-human squealed. “Just look at them, aren’t they the cutest little things you’ve ever seen?”

Ruka snorted softly. He didn’t like to be called ‘cute’, not at all. But he’d found out that after each time he was called that, he would get petted by the respective human, like now by the pink one. Sooo… he probably could live with being ‘cute’.

“Don’t squeeze him so much, Sakura-chan”, Naruto-human scolded. “You’ll hurt him.”

“I won’t”, Sakura-human told him. “And you’re the one always dragging him around, by the way!”

Uh-oh. Ruka decided to better leave the two humans and create a certain distance. He knew that tone in Sakura-human’s voice. It meant that Naruto-human’s head would get an ouchie quite soon.

-----

Again?!

Kashi snorted. Either Naruto-human was too dense to understand that arguing with the pink female would get him headaches or he liked getting headaches. Or maybe that was some human ritual? Maybe Sakura-human was defending her position in the clan against Naruto-human? But why was Naruto-human not fighting back then? Weird ritual…

But however… Now his mate would leave Sakura-human’s lap and maybe come to him instead? Kashi would like that. Very much. Very, very m-

Grmph. Why was Ruka going to Sasuke-human instead? That human was so boring. He didn’t talk much and he didn’t pet either of them at all and he didn’t chase them around and he didn’t play with them and he didn’t… didn’t… didn’t do anything except sitting around, watching and being moody.

How that one planned to ever find a mate without showing off his good qualities was beyond Kashi.

-----

Maybe Sasuke-human would like to pet him for a change? Ruka mewed questioningly, then settled down in the dark human’s lap. Maybe he just had a bad day – more very many bad days – and needed some company? Ruka was good company.

Ruka squirmed a little until he was perfectly comfortable, then threw a look at his human and the pink one. Yep, still fighting. But maybe that was some kind of mating ritual of humans? Ruka shrugged. Not his problem.

So… petting please, Sasuke-human.

…

Ruka mewed. Now would be a perfect time for some back-rubbing, Sasuke-human…

…

Not?

-----

Why was that human not petting Kashi’s mate? Kashi frowned deeply. Being allowed to pet Kashi’s mate was the best thing that could ever happen to a lowly human, so why didn’t Sasuke-human jump the opportunity? It sure couldn’t be because he didn’t like Ruka, now could it? Naa… nobody could not like his mate. That was exactly why Kashi had to claim him as soon as possible.

But still… why didn’t Sasuke-human pet Ruka? It was obvious that Ruka wanted to be petted, and as much as Kashi disliked anybody being nearer to his mate than he was, he had to admit that seeing the dark human not interested in the brown one made him quite angry by now. Nobody was allowed to ignore his mate and-

Was… was Ruka sad now?! He definitely looked sad. And disappointed.

Kashi growled angrily. Although he would never have imagined doing something like that ever… if Sasuke-human didn’t pet Ruka within the next few breaths, Kashi would force him to!

-----

No petting? None at all? Ruka mewed softly and lifted his head to look at the dark human’s face. Why didn’t Sasuke-human pet him? Didn’t… didn’t he like him? Had Ruka done something wrong? But… Hmmm… The look on Sasuke-human’s face didn’t look like dislike. More like… more like insecurity maybe. Or as if he felt uncomfortable. Maybe Ruka was too heavy for him? Maybe the dark human was a very delicate one? And too shy to say something about it?

Mewing questioningly, Ruka straightened up in the dark human’s lap and very carefully turned until he could look him into his face fully. When he found no trace of pain, he frowned deeply. So he wasn’t too heavy. But what was wrong? Ruka looked at Sasuke-human inquiringly. He would prefer if the human told him what was wrong with him. Maybe Ruka could help him.

Determined to make the moody human speak with him, Ruka straightened up and lifted his front paws until he could place them on Sasuke-human’s chest and stand on his hind legs, if a little shakily. How the humans could walk like that without falling over all the time was completely beyond him. Especially humans like Tsunade-human who had so much… frontload.

But however. Ruka looked deep into Sasuke-human’s dark eyes and mewed softly. There was something wrong with this human and he wanted to know what and then help him.

-----

If only his mate didn’t fall now. Kashi paced on the floor in front of the couch nervously. Why did his mate have to do that?

“Oh, look”, Sakura-human said. “What’s Ruka doing?”

“I don’t know.” Naruto-human inched closer to Kashi’s mate and the dark human. “What did you do, Sasuke-teme?”

“I didn’t do anything”, Sasuke-human declared. “He… he just climbed up suddenly.”

“Iruka-sensei never does anything without a purpose.” The orange human shook his head. “He wants something.” He grinned. “Maybe he wants you to pet him…”

“I will not pet him!”

Kashi frowned and growled. That human had quite a nerve to still refuse his mate something he wanted! And it wasn’t like it was something bad either, so the dark human didn’t have to sound so… so frightened almost.

-----

So Sasuke-human didn’t want to pet him. Ruka sighed sadly. But why not? He was almost completely sure that it wasn’t his fault, that there was something else about the dark human that made him refuse. But what? It had to be something bad if Sasuke-human sounded so uncomfortable, and Ruka wanted to help him really badly by now and make him feel better again…

Not wanting to distress the human any further, Ruka only leaned his head forward and gently rubbed his nose over the human’s to show that he was willing to offer comfort in case Sasuke-human wanted it, then he turned around and jumped to the floor where Kashi sat.

-----

His mate had given a nose-rubbing to that human! Kashi growled jealously. And that although that human was behaving so badly towards Ruka. And still he got a nose-rubbing! That wasn’t fair! Not fair at all! Kashi always did his best to earn nose-rubbings and lickings and belly-rubs and that human got one just so?! That wasn’t fair and-

Hn? Why was Sasuke-human looking like that now? Like he couldn’t believe that Ruka had done that? Like he had never gotten a nose-rubbing before? Well, that couldn’t be, or could it? Everybody had to have gotten a nose-rub or something like that at least once in their life, from their parents maybe or their siblings and-

Kashi frowned when he felt that something triggered his mind, but he couldn’t quite grab it although he knew that it was something about Sasuke-human, something important. But before he could wrap his thoughts around it, it had disappeared again, leaving behind just the distinct feeling that Kashi shouldn’t begrudge Sasuke-human any nose-rubbings from Ruka, Kashi’s mate or not. Hm.

-----

Oh. Sasuke-human looked like the nose-rubbing had surprised him. Ruka frowned. Maybe humans didn’t give nose-rubs? He’d never seen one of the humans he’d met so far do that, so maybe it wasn’t… appropriate?

Ruka shrugged. However, Sasuke-human didn’t look as gloomy as before anymore, and that alone was good. But he wouldn’t rub his nose again.

Speaking of which… Ruka turned around and looked at Kashi. He wouldn’t mind getting a nose-rub from the silver one right now. Maybe Kashi was up for it?

Ruka strolled over to his friend and set his plan into action, then purred when Kashi responded enthusiastically.

-----

Mmmmh… Nose-rubbing from Ruka… nice… Kashi purred softly and closed his eyes. This was how he could easily spend the whole sun… rub-rub… rub-rub-rub… r-

“They’re so sweet”, Sakura-human declared, but Kashi decided to ignore her in favour of more nose-rubbing.

“I wonder if they’ll remember once they’re changed back”, Sasuke-human mused but was also ignored by the happy, nose-rubbing puddle of Kashi.

“Iruka-sensei won’t be happy to know that he cuddled with the village’s second greatest pervert”, Naruto-human sniggered. “And they’re technically naked, you kn-”

“You are the pervert here!”, Sakura-human shouted.

-----

Ruka rolled his eyes. His human really was hopeless. Now he definitely would get another ouchie.

“Ow! Sakura-chan!”

There, what had he said? Ruka reluctantly moved his head away from Kashi to make sure that his human was alright. Seemed so. That lump on his head was quite big, but if he still could jump around like that, it couldn’t be that bad.

But… a little bit of jumping around sounded quite nice right now. Maybe Kashi was up for some chasing?

Ruka turned his head back to his silver companion – who seemed to sulk a little – and bit his ear playfully, then ran.

-----

Mean Ruka! Kashi mewed in confusion. First he stopped rubbing and now he even bit his ear. Why did he-

Oh. Ruka was running away but not without throwing back challenging looks. Kashi grinned. He liked chasing, especially when he had such a yummy prey…

“Oh no, you’re not!”, he heard Naruto-human shout. “You’ll destroy my apartment again!”

Kashi dodged the orange human’s hand easily, then ran after his mate. He would be damned if he let this opportunity to play with Ruka slip from his paws.

Kashi chased his mate through the big room with the couch and the three humans, into the room where Naruto-human slept, over, under and around the big, soft thing there several times, then into the room where the food was stored and back to the couch. He was hot on Ruka’s tail all the time, but to his greatest delight his mate always managed to escape somehow.

-----

Fun!

Ruka mewed in delight when he spun around just in time to escape Kashi and dodge Sakura-human’s hands, then turned, jumped up on the couch, over Sasuke-human still sitting there and down again to-

Crash right into Kashi.

Mewing in shock, Ruka felt himself impact onto the other’s body and them both being thrown to the floor from the force. When he felt the room stop spinning, he blinked and found himself lying sprawled over the silver one’s chest.

Ruka mewed apologetically. Oops?

-----

Kashi blinked, still surprised by the sudden hit, then caught sight of his mate lying on him. He blinked again, then decided that he liked his current position. Quite a lot, to be honest.

Kashi mewed in triumph. Winner, by the way!

“You…”, he heard Naruto-human pant. “You…”

Had that human said something important? Kashi wasn’t sure. He was much too busy enjoying Ruka giving him his reward-licking for catching him. Or his apology-licking for crashing into him. Kashi didn’t really care which of those, though…

“I will never let you live that down”, the orange human announced.

Kashi mewed absent-mindedly. Sure, whatever. Now if Ruka would maybe lick his nose a little more to the left and- Perrrrfect.

“Wait until you’re changed back and I tell you that Iruka-sensei sat on Kakashi-sensei”, Naruto-human growled. “Naked!”

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Ruka wasn’t quite sure if he should scratch Sakura-human or try to imitate Naruto-human and make these weird noises. These… these sucking-in-air-and-then-pressing-it-out-in-short-gasps noises.

“Don’t laugh about him, Naruto!”, Sakura-human hissed angrily.

Right, ‘laughing’. Ruka wasn’t sure if he even could do that, but it looked like it was fun since his human hadn’t stopped doing it for quite some breaths now.

“But look at him!”, Naruto-human roared.

Mmmh… Kashi was definitely worth looking at right now. But Ruka decided to still go and save him since he looked more uncomfortable by the breath.

-----

Kashi wanted to die.

He had known that female humans meant trouble for him, right? And he had known that this particular pink one meant Much Trouble for him. Ever since she’d arrived earlier that sun, she’d been dragging him around.

And now this!

“He’s looking cute!”, she declared.

Cute… Kashi sighed and mentally waved goodbye to the last pieces of his pride. He just hoped that Naruto-human wouldn’t suffocate from the strange way he was breathing right now and which couldn’t be healthy. And the orange human suffocating would make his mate sad, and Kashi definitely didn’t want that. He just hoped that he would be able to do something in case Naruto-human really had trouble breathing although he had this hindering cloth around him now…

-----

Now how to do this? Hmmmm… Ruka pondered and plotted a little while, then came up with a plan. He stood up gracefully and approached Sakura-human, then climbed into her lap and settled down, purring.

“Oooooh”, she squealed instantly, “Ruka wants to be petted!”

Yes, that too. Ruka purred more when the pink human stroked his back, then looked at Kashi expectantly.

-----

Kashi growled quietly. Now the pink human was even taking his Ruka away! Not enough that she was torturing him, no, she also had to-

Hm? Why was his mate looking at him like that? Like he wanted him to do something? Kashi frowned. What could he be supposed to do now that Sakura-human had chosen to ignore him and give her full attention to petting his-

Oh. Oh! Kashi grinned. He really had chosen the perfect mate for himself! Ruka wasn’t only healthy, strong and nice-looking, he was also damn smart!

With a grateful look at his mate, Kashi quickly turned around, ran through the room and hid behind the couch. Now to get rid of this stupid cloth…

-----

Ah, finally. Ruka purred contently and closed his eyes. So Kashi had seen the chance he had been offering him. He was really not only strong, healthy and nice-looking, he was also quite smart.

The perfect mate, so to say.

Ruka frowned a little. He hadn’t given that question much thought this sun, but avoiding it wouldn’t solve anything, so…

Did he want to be Kashi’s mate?

-----

Finally! Kashi mewed in triumph when the cloth slid from his neck. Now really, why did Sakura-human have to tie it around his body and his neck? And what was that piece of cloth good for anyway, that… that… that ‘apron’? It only covered his chest and stomach, so it wouldn’t be useful in the rain and probably even tangle with his legs. Humans…

But however… With a last glare at the pink cloth, Kashi approached his mate and the three humans again, then pondered what to do. Since Sakura-human was still occupied with stroking Ruka, maybe Kashi could try to sneak up on Sasuke-human and surprise him to get him to make a noise? He was really curious to see what it would take to make that particular human speak.

A plan ready in mind, Kashi moved to hide behind the oblivious Sakura-human and waited for his chance to surprise the moody one.

-----

So apart from having someone to sleep next to, to keep warm with, to smell good, to chase somethings with, to lie next to in the sun, to fight at his side in case it was necessary and to share his food with, being Kashi’s mate would also mean that the both of them would do other, even more… pleasant things. Or at least Ruka thought so although he didn’t really know what those ‘pleasant things’ could be, apart from nose-rubbing and maybe licking. He thought he had a distinct impression of what he and Kashi could do else, but somehow… somehow the image in his head was rather blurry. And there seemed to be other kinds of limbs required for some of the things he thought he was maybe thinking of… Weird…

But anyway. On the other side… the bad things about being Kashi’s mate were… were… were…

…

Aw, honey! There had to be at least one bad thing about it! For example… Maybe… Or perha-

“Let’s take a photo!”, Sakura-human chirped suddenly, making him jump slightly in surprise.

A what? Ruka frowned. He didn’t know that word but really hoped that that thing was something to eat. It was always easier to think with a full stomach.

“Yeah!”, Naruto-human jumped up and ran through the hole in the wall.

Oh, his human was excited! Then that p-thing was probably something to eat. Ruka straightened up expectantly. Maybe it was that yummy thing on his food? The one he liked so much? The one that Kashi gave him every time by now and for which he gave away a piece of his meat in return?

“Here!”

Hm, now what was that? A black box. Was that where Naruto-human kept the yummy stuff? But no, Ruka couldn’t smell it anywhere near. Aw honey!

-----

A ‘photo’?

Kashi didn’t like the sound of that although he had no idea what exactly a ‘photo’ was. He just had the distinct feeling that he didn’t like it.

“Sit down there and take them!”, Naruto-human told the other two. “One of you holds Kashi and I’ll hold Ruka!”

Oh, holding again. Kashi sighed. And no escape, it seemed, so he should better just cope with it. Sooo… Sakura-human or Sasuke-human? Hmm…

“You hold Kashi, Sasuke-kun”, Sakura-human decided. “And I’ll sit between you, just like on our picture with Kakashi-sensei.”

So Sasuke-human it was. Kashi shrugged a little disappointedly. With the moody human, he wouldn’t get any petting, and that wasn’t nice. He wasn’t sure if Sasuke-human even knew how to give a good belly-rub… poor human.

-----

So the p-thing was something you had to sit for. Ruka tilted his head and watched how his human put the little black box on a table and pressed it on several places, then hurried back towards them. Naruto-human grabbed him and then flopped down on Sakura-human’s side, opposite to Sasuke-human and Kashi.

But stop! Something was wrong. Ruka frowned when he looked at his friend. Kashi looked more than just a little uncomfortable and it didn’t seem to have to do with the moody human at all…

-----

Kashi didn’t have a good feeling about this. He didn’t have a good feeling at all. There was just something wrong. Something with that black box over there and with him. Somehow, he wanted to hide his head behind something, at least his mouth and nose.

But why?

-----

Ruka wasn’t happy. He saw that Kashi wasn’t happy and that made him unhappy, too.

Determined to find out what was wrong with the other, Ruka jumped out of Naruto-human’s lap and into Sakura-human’s, ignored the protests the humans were shouting and mewed questioningly.

He saw that Kashi looked at him, hesitated a little and then suddenly jumped.

Ruka froze. Was he going to-

-----

Ruka!

Utterly relieved, Kashi jumped towards him, then buried his nose and mouth deep into the fur on the back of his mate’s neck and mewed, grateful to have something to hide behind. And something sooo nice furthermore.

-----

Kashi was going to claim him! He was going to bite and claim him! What should he do?!

Let Kashi bite him?

Or push Kashi away?

Torn between nervous anticipation and the urge to fight back and not to submit, Ruka couldn’t move a muscle. But he had to do something! He had to… to…

CLICK

-----

Oh. Kashi could feel his body relax immediately after he heard the soft noise from the black box.

“Aw no, they moved!”, Naruto-human complained. “And there was only one photo left on the film!”

Kashi relaxed even further, although he didn’t know why. But the thought of the ‘photo’-stuff being over made him feel very relieved, and the smell of his mate and the sensation of the soft fur of the back of Ruka’s neck on his nose helped even mo-

Wait! He had his nose on the back of his mate’s neck? That… that meant that his teeth were there, too!

-----

Why hadn’t Kashi bitten him yet? Didn’t he want it anymore?

Ruka couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed, even sad at the thought.

-----

Should he bite him? Should he claim Ruka? He wanted to so badly, but what if the other didn’t want it? What if Ruka was angry at him afterwards?

Kashi couldn’t help it, couldn’t force his body to stop when he felt his mouth open on its own and his teeth scratch slightly over Ruka’s tender skin beneath the brown fur. Should he do it? It would be so easy. And then Ruka would be his!

Kashi wanted to have Ruka as his mate so badly.

-----

Teeth! There were teeth!

Ruka almost hissed in relief, but the feeling was mixed with fear. And this was also so confusing! He still didn’t know if he wanted it. So was he just going to hold still and let Kashi bite him?

Ruka wanted to know what he wanted so badly.

-----

He wanted it so much… He wanted to have Ruka all to himself… He wanted to bite him and make him his… He wanted…

He couldn’t do it. Not if he wasn’t completely sure that Ruka wanted it.

Sighing miserably, Kashi moved his teeth away from the inviting opportunity and instead looked at Ruka miserably. He mewed apologetically and rubbed his head against the other’s to soothe him and apologise thoroughly for almost betraying his trust.

-----

He wouldn’t do it.

Kashi wouldn’t claim him, but from the way he was acting, Ruka could tell that he still wanted it. But why hadn’t Kashi done it? The opportunity had been perfect.

And what was even more important: Why wasn’t Ruka sure if he should be disappointed, relieved or both at once?

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Ruka was in a weird mood this sun… Kashi watched his mate lie on their pillow, roll back and forth on it and sigh heavily. Was it because he had almost bitten him the last sun? Was Ruka still sad that he’d almost betrayed the trust he’d given him?

Kashi sighed miserably. He could just hope that Ruka would forgive him soon.

-----

Ruka couldn’t forgive himself for being so unable to make a decision. He knew that Kashi was sad because of him and he didn’t like that at all. Maybe he should have offered his submission to him the last sun and let Kashi bite him? And just hope that it would turn out right for him? Or should he have-

Ruka’s eyes widened and he froze in mid-roll. Should… should he have tried to bite Kashi? To claim Kashi? Was that what he wanted?

Straightening up quickly, Ruka thought about that possibility. Was it a possibility at all? Was there a chance that Kashi would submit to him? And did Ruka want Kashi to submit at all? As appealing as the thought of claiming him was, was Kashi submitting to him what he wanted? What he really wanted?

Ruka mewed in frustration. This was getting more complicated by the breath! Why the honey did this have to be-

“Hey, kids.”

Ruka jumped and hissed in surprise when suddenly a human he didn’t know jumped through the open window and landed right next to his tail. He saw Kashi immediately hurry to his side and growl angrily at the human, his fur bristled.

“Genma-san.” Naruto-human came from the food room, followed by Sakura-human and Sasuke-human. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to take one of them to Tsunade-sama. She said she’s got an antidote ready.”

“Already?”, Sakura-human asked. “And is she sure that it’ll work?”

“Nope.” Genma-human grinned and moved the long, sharp stick in his mouth from one corner to the other. “That’s why she needs a guinea pig to see whether it’s poisonous.”

“WHAT?!”, Naruto-human shouted. “I WILL NOT LET YOU-”

“Easy, kid.” Genma-human grinned broader. “I’m only joking. She says the antidote is completely safe, she just isn’t sure whether it’ll work or not, so she’s got to test it.” He turned a little and looked down at Ruka and Kashi. “On one of these two cuties.”

Ruka took a step back instinctively, seeing Kashi do the same. He was quite sure that that big human wasn’t really dangerous, but… Well, Ruka wasn’t stupid. He knew that carrying a sharp, pointy object in one’s mouth was not intelligent at all. Everybody knew that mouth plus sharp, pointy object meant ow-ow.

Which led him to the conclusion that Genma-human was completely nuts.

-----

That human had to be totally bonkers to carry a stick in his mouth. And Kashi didn’t like at all that Genma-human pointed the stick at his mate right now. Hissing in warning, he moved to stand in front of Ruka just in case the crazy human should let the stick fall down.

“Now, now”, he heard Genma-human laugh. “No need to be so frightened.”

Kashi hissed. Frightened? Frightened?! Who was frightened, you big, stupid-

“I think I’m going to take Iruka-sensei with me”, the stick-human announced. “He seems to be calmer. Seems Kakashi’s always on edge, no matter what kind of body he’s in.”

Right, that Genma-human should better do that. He should go back to that Iruka-sensei-human and that Kakashi-human and leave Kashi’s mate alone.

-----

Oh, that Genma-human was going to leave again. Ruka was relieved. That meant that he would take that sharp stick with him and not come any nearer with it to Kashi. Ruka had been a little worried, to be hon-

Hm? Why was Genma-human bending down now? And why was he-

Hey! HEY! Ruka didn’t like that! Ruka didn’t want to be carried around by him! And Ruka even more didn’t want to get carried away from Kashi!

Stop! Stop! Why was Genma-human going to the window? Was he going to throw Ruka out?! He didn’t want that!

Frightened, Ruka futilely tried to claw his way out of the grip and howled for help. KASHI!

-----

RUKA!

Without thinking, Kashi jumped to attack the human who dared to take away his mate. He wouldn’t let anybody hurt Ruka! He would rather die protecting him!

Clawing-biting-scratching-howling, Kashi whirled over Genma-human’s body and attacked every piece of skin he could reach. He found an ear and bit down hard until the big enemy screamed in pain and let go of his mate, then he jumped back to the floor and bit an ankle.

“WHAT THE HELL?!”

Still hissing aggressively, Kashi watched how Ruka jumped to the floor and then darted away to hide behind the couch. With a last threatening glare at the stick-human, Kashi followed. He heard the humans talk quite agitatedly but didn’t pay any attention to it. His mate was much more important than anything else!

-----

Ruka was scared. He hid behind the big couch and looked around nervously to make sure that Genma-human wasn’t coming for him again. He felt himself shake.

“I’m going to kill that silver bastard!”, he heard his former captor hiss.

No! Ruka tensed in fear. He didn’t want that! He didn’t want Kashi to get hurt! He would rather let himself be thrown out of the window if that was what Genma-human wanted, just to make sure that Kashi stayed unharmed and-

Ruka jumped when suddenly someone nudged his back. He whirled around to defend himself but in the last moment recognised his friend.

-----

His mate was completely terrified! Kashi made a half angry, half worried noise when Ruka spun around to him and he saw the hunted look in his eyes. It hurt Kashi to see him like that.

Without thinking about it, Kashi leaned forward and licked his mate’s nose gently until he felt him relax slightly. Still, Kashi didn’t stop comforting him by licking and making soothing noises until he could feel the fear and tension subside finally. Relieved, Kashi moved his head to rub it against Ruka’s affectionately.

-----

Ruka purred under the gentle caresses Kashi gave him. It was very comforting to have him so close and-

A shadow! Was that Genma-human coming for him again?!

Ruka sighed. No, it was only Sasuke-human. Mewing in relief, he stepped closer to Kashi and nuzzled his nose into the other’s warm chest. Mrrrrrrh…

“Is everything alright?”, he heard Sasuke-human ask softly.

Ruka mewed softly back. Everything was alright now. Kashi was with him and would protect him in case Genma-human tried to hurt him again. And Ruka would protect Kashi.

“You don’t have to be afraid anymore”, Sasuke-human whispered and threw a quick look around, then the dark human moved his hand towards them.

His body tensing, Ruka felt Kashi beside him go stiff, too, when both waited for what the human was going to do. Sasuke-human had never before on his own accord touched one of them, so what could he want?

When the hand gently touched Ruka’s head, then started to stroke his back slowly, almost unsurely, he purred softly in encouragement. He was very happy that Sasuke-human seemed to have accepted him and Kashi finally, even if it had taken some time. But he hadn’t liked it at all that the moody human had always kept himself separated from them.

-----

Kashi relaxed when he saw that Sasuke-human only wanted to pet his mate, then snorted softly. Seemed that this human wasn’t as dense as he’d thought. The dark human seemed to have finally understood that being allowed to pet Ruka was the best thing to happen to anybody ever.

“You know, Iruka-sensei”, Sasuke-human whispered. “I… well, I wanted… yesterday when you… I…” He sighed. “Thank you.”

Kashi nodded approvingly. That human had really good manners to express his thanks to Ruka for allowing him to pet him. It was always a great honour to be allowed to do that to somebody as perfect as Kashi’s mate if you were a lowly human only.

But that settled… Right now would be a good time for the human to stop petting and let Ruka turn his full attention to Kashi again.

-----

Ruka noticed that Kashi was eyeing the human in what seemed to be jealousy. Oh dear… Inwardly rolling his eyes, he rubbed his head against the other’s gently to show that he hadn’t forgotten his courage. When Kashi purred happily, Ruka purred back.

“I wonder why Kakashi-sensei attacked Genma-san”, he heard Sasuke-human murmur. “He seems to be quite protective over you, if not even possessi-” The human suddenly broke off and hastily took his hand away, right before two more shadows fell onto them.

“You were pretty scared, hu?”, Sakura-human asked softly.

Ruka mewed. He’d been so frightened. But now he felt safe again.

“You don’t have to be afraid anymore, you two”, Naruto-human said. “Genma-san’s gone. Kashi’s done a good job.”

Yes, Ruka had to agree. Mewing in praise, he lifted his head and looked at his silver friend, then licked his nose affectionately.

-----

Mmmmh… Kashi liked that. He would fight Genma-human every day if he got a licking from Ruka for it. But he would fight for his mate without a reward, too.

“We have to go to Tsunade-obachan now”, Naruto-human said.

Oh? Kashi looked up in alarm and bared his teeth. Who exactly was ‘we’?

“We will take you both to her now”, Sakura-human told him softly. “You won’t attack us, will you?”

Kashi tilted his head. He probably wouldn’t do that. As long as they brought him somewhere where his mate went, too, he wouldn’t have to be violent again. But they really should know that, they were supposed to be able to look underneath the… the… something.

-----

Tsunade-human? Ruka frowned. Ah, right. The big female.

“I’ll lift Ruka up now and Sakura-chan will take Kashi, okay?”, Naruto-human asked.

Ruka wasn’t sure if he wanted that. He would rather stay here right beside Kashi and snuggle even closer to him. But it seemed that his human and the others wanted to take them to Tsunade-human…

Ruka shrugged, then mewed in agreement, if a little reluctantly. If his human wanted to take him and Kashi to the big human, he wouldn’t object. As long as Kashi was with him, he didn’t really care where he was.

“Alright, I guess that means that he’s okay with it”, Sakura-human said, then very slowly bent down and lifted Kashi up carefully.

“If he’s getting angry, just drop him”, Naruto-human told her while he took Ruka gently. “He’ll be fine.”

True, Kashi wouldn’t get hurt by falling from such a small height, but still… Ruka didn’t like the thought of his friend falling.

Determined to watch closely how Sakura-human treated his companion, Ruka squirmed in his human’s hold until he could climb up on a shoulder with his upper body and look back at the pink human and Kashi.

-----

Kashi wasn’t sure if he liked being carried to Tsunade-human. After all, the big female had slapped him and thrown him around. So maybe it was better not to go back to her, just in case she wanted to do it with his mate this time.

“Everything’s alright, Kashi”, he heard Sakura-human say in a soothing tone, “Don’t squirm so much. Ruka’s right in front of you.”

Kashi looked up and caught sight of his mate looking at him over one of Naruto-human’s shoulders. Ruka mewed soothingly and Kashi felt himself relax immediately and went still in the pink human’s arms.

As long as his mate didn’t leave him, Kashi was willing to endure everything.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

“I saw Genma just now”, Tsunade-human said. “He looked… rumpled. And he was quite… displeased with our silver friend.”

Ruka looked up at her from the floor and bared his teeth in a careful warning. Was she going to punish Kashi for fighting Genma-stick-human? He wouldn’t let her! Kashi had protected him and Ruka wouldn’t let anybody hurt his friend!

“He tried to take Ruka away and frightened him”, Sakura-human told the big one. “I guess Kashi felt that he should protect him.”

Ruka mewed in agreement. Kashi had protected him from being thrown out of a window. Kashi hadn’t done anything wrong. He moved until he stood in front of the silver one. That human should only dare to try to touch his friend! He would so show her!

“The feeling seems to be mutual”, Tsunade-human observed, then shrugged. “Maybe they’ll get along better from now on. I already got tired of their endless bickering.”

“Can you change them back?”, Naruto-human asked.

“I think so.” The big human leaned down and took two long things from somewhere.

Ruka eyed the two things suspiciously. They had pointy, long sticks on one end. He didn’t like that. It reminded him of Genma-stick-human.

“Syringes?”, Sakura-human asked. “Is that necessary? I don’t think they’ll like that…”

“They absorbed the powder through the mucous membranes of their eyes, mouth and nose right into their blood. Shots are the most effective method to give the antidote”, Tsunade-human declared.

“Well, I won’t give them the shots”, Naruto-human announced. “No way in hell I’ll get near Kakashi-sensei with syringes!”

Oh, his human didn’t like the long things either. Ruka mewed defensively. He didn’t want those pointy things anywhere near Kashi and himself.

-----

If that big human thought that Kashi would let her come near his mate with those pointy things, she was either dreaming or stupid! He wouldn’t let anybody hurt Ruka!

“I’ve got the perfect assistant for this”, he heard Tsunade-human say cheerily.

Assi… assist… assistant… Weird word. Kashi frowned. But maybe that was something to store the pointy things away? It better was!

“Come in!”

Kashi mewed reproachfully. Not so loud, big human! He turned around when he heard a wall move behind him, then saw another human enter.

“How troublesome”, said human announced.

Kashi tilted his head and looked at him. Lazy. There was no other word to describe him better.

-----

Another human. Ruka frowned. There were quite a lot of them. And that one… He was probably very old, for he walked really slowly, shuffling his feet. Although he wasn’t as big as Tsunade-human. Hm…

“Shikamaru!”, he heard his human shout. “What are you doing here?”

“I had to come”, Shikamaru-human said grumpily. “I could lie in the sun now and watch clouds, you know.”

Ruka mewed sympathetically. He could understand the human, he would really like to lie in the sun now and watch clouds with Kashi. Maybe that human could take them with him later? That would be nice.

-----

Oh, maybe that human was here to take Kashi and his mate to join him in the sun? Kashi mewed happily. He wanted that!

“Let’s start”, Tsunade-human told the lazy one.

“How troublesome”, Shikamaru-human answered, then moved his hands.

Kashi looked at him expectantly, then mewed in disappointment when nothing happened. He’d hoped for some yummy food maybe. Or at least for something to watch. But now the lazy human just stood there and did nothing.

Growling, Kashi wanted to take a step closer to his mate to at least rub his head against him, but found himself immobile.

-----

Nothing?

Ruka frowned. He’d hoped for at least something interesting when the new human had made these weird moves. But maybe that was something like… like a dance? Maybe to impress a female human?

Determined to find out more about the humans’ mysterious habits, Ruka wanted to turn around to Kashi and see whether the other knew more, but he couldn’t move.

-----

He couldn’t move! Kashi mewed in shock and a little fear. How was he supposed to protect his mate when he couldn’t move?!

“Now, now”, he heard Tsunade-human murmur, “It won’t be bad. No need to be afraid.”

But Kashi was afraid! How could he not when he couldn’t move and there was the danger that Genma-human came back and tried to take his mate again?! Kashi didn’t want that! Kashi wanted Ruka to stay with him!

“And now a little prick.”

Kashi howled in shock when suddenly a big hand grabbed him by his neck and then-

OW! Kashi tried to whirl around and show that big human where she didn’t have to prick him but was still unable to move. He growled in anger.

-----

That sound! Kashi was in pain!

Concerned that his mate could be in danger, Ruka desperately tried to turn around, but then somebody grabbed him and pressed him down onto the wooden floor before-

OUCH! Ruka yowled. That hurt! Why did Tsunade-human prick him? She had no right to do that!

“Alright. You can let go now.”

He could move again! Immediately, Ruka whirled around to look at Kashi and hissed in relief when he caught sight of the other and saw that he seemed unharmed. Ruka mewed and pounced on Kashi happily.

-----

His mate seemed alright! Kashi sighed in relief and took a step forward, but then gasped when Ruka suddenly jumped him and threw him back on his back. Kashi stiffened at first, then relaxed when his mate rubbed his head against his chest and purred happily. Seemed that Ruka had been worried about him. Kashi grinned happily.

“Now really”, he heard Tsunade-human snort. “You behave as if I almost killed you.”

Kashi snorted back. That big, mean, brutal human should just keep her trap shut. If his mate wanted to pounce on him, he could pounce on him, dammit!

Determined to show the big human and all the humans in general that they didn’t have to snort about anything his mate did, Kashi squirmed free from under Ruka’s body and straightened up.

Only to fall down again when his legs suddenly gave in.

-----

Oh. Why did Kashi go away? Ruka mewed in confusion. Didn’t his friend want to stay with him? And now… did Kashi want to sleep here? While they had a big, fluffy pillow in Naruto-human’s lair?

Mewing questioningly, Ruka prodded his silver companion with his head. When Kashi turned around slowly without standing up again, he frowned in concern. Was the other so tired that he… he… Oooh… that was bad… the floor shouldn’t spin like that… he didn’t feel good…

“Seems like the antidote is working”, he heard Tsunade-human say.

“And now?”, Naruto-human asked.

“I’ll get somebody to take them to the hospital. It should take some time for their bodies to change back completely, and I definitely don’t want that to happen here.”

Ruka struggled to keep his eyes open. So the humans wanted to take him and Kashi somewhere. But why did they have to make them feel so bad before? There was no need for that unless-

…

Ruka growled furiously. He wouldn’t let them separate him from Kashi!

-----

Oooooh… this wasn’t fun… not at all… Kashi felt really weird right now. If the floor hadn’t been spinning and bubbling and bucking so much, he would really have liked to just lie down and close his eyes.

Hm? That noise… Oh, right, that was his mate. But why was Ruka growling?

Kashi forced his head up again and turned it slowly to look around until he caught sight of his mate half lying and half standing next to him. He blinked, then again, then tried to gather his thoughts. Ruka – good. … Ruka – good. … And then… Ruka – good…

Kashi yawned and felt his eyes close again. Ruka…

-----

No, he couldn’t sleep now! Couldn’t… couldn’t… sleep… now… slee-

No!

Ruka shook his head forcefully and crawled backwards until he felt Kashi’s body beside him. He had to stay awake! He had to protect Kashi like Kashi had protected him against… against…

Ruka yawned. Maybe a little sleep? Only a little and only to gather new strength to… to… to do whatever he had wanted to do?

“They’re quite stubborn”, a muffled voice said. “I’ve expected them to be out cold by now.”

Ruka blinked. There was something… something important… about Kashi… Kashi… mmmh… so warm… such a nice mate… Kashi… such a… nice… mate…

-----

Mmmmh… Ruka was next to him. Kashi yawned again. He could sleep next to his mate. Right here… right now… right next… to Ruka… and then… when they woke up again… then he would be with Ruka again… and never leave him… and Ruka would never leave him either…

-----

Kashi…

-----

Ruka…

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

tbc

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:
Sorry for the long wait, I had too much work to find time for this. I hope I’ll get the last chapter done in less time.

Nayru

Claws And Teeth, Chapter 2

2008-01-05T11:40:42Z

Claws And Teeth

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 2

Kashi paced up and down in front of the mean moving wall separating him from his mate. Why didn’t Naruto-human and Ruka come back to him? The moon was over and the sun had reappeared quite long ago already. What were they waiting for?

Maybe Naruto-human had taken his mate and left?!

Kashi froze in fear. What should he do then?! How should he find Ruka if the orange human had taken him away?! He didn’t want to lose the brown one! And he also didn’t want any other mate! He wanted Ruka and Ruka only and-

The wall moved!

Mewing in nervous but hopeful anticipation, Kashi watched closely how Naruto-human emerged from the other room and behind him…

Ruka!

Kashi mewed happily. His mate was still with him!

-----

Oh, that sounded like Kashi wasn’t angry at him. Ruka mewed in relief. He’d feared that the other would be angry at him for leaving him alone the last moon. He’d been so worried even that he’d paced up and down in front of the moving wall for very long until his human had finally awoken and opened it again.

But that was nothing Kashi had to know. Nono.

And now… Ruka wasn’t quite sure what to do now. How should he behave towards the silver one? He couldn’t be too friendly, else Kashi would think that he could claim him easily. But he also couldn’t be too cold not to make the other sad again. Seeing Kashi sad would be even worse than having to fight him off.

Carefully Ruka moved towards Kashi, then gently prodded his nose against the other’s and softly mewed a greeting.

-----

Mmmmh… That was a perfect start for this sun… Kashi mewed happily. Seemed that Ruka had decided not to favour Naruto-human anymore. Now he only had to make sure to show his mate that he’d chosen the better one. The best one.

Kashi pondered a little, then came up with the perfect plan: He would hunt food for his mate! That way he could show Ruka that he was a very good mate and-

“I’ll go and get something yummy for us”, Naruto-human announced. “I bet you’re starving.”

Kashi growled his disapproval. That human should better be careful not to anger him too much. And he was no match for Kashi in hunting food! He would show Naruto-human that he was the best hunter and Ruka that he was the best mate for him.

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t get into fights, okay?” With that, the orange human opened another moving wall, stepped out of his lair and closed the wall again before Kashi could follow.

Hey! He mewed angrily. How should he hunt food for his mate when he couldn’t leave the lair? It wasn’t as if the orange human had food to hunt down in here! That was cheating, Naruto-human!

-----

Something yummy, Naruto-human had promised! Ruka mewed happily. He hoped that it would be the stuff from the sun before again. He’d liked that.

Hm? But why was Kashi looking so angry now? Hadn’t he liked the yummy food? Ruka frowned. He didn’t like to see the silver one angry. Or sad. Or hurt. Or worried. Or nervous. Or disappointed. Or-

He shook his head. That was definitely enough now.

But maybe he could cheer Kashi up if he found something else to eat? Ruka mewed. That was a very good idea. There had to be something in his human’s lair. Humans seemed to be a species that stored food reserves, really. Why would they need such big lairs else?

Determined to find something to make his silver companion happy again, Ruka turned towards another hole in a wall to search the other parts of Naruto-human’s lair.

-----

Oh? Where was his mate going now? Kashi didn’t like that Ruka left him alone already. He’d better follow, just to make sure that the other… erm… wasn’t attacked. Yes, right.

Kashi frowned when Ruka strolled through a hole in the wall into another room. He’d not been in here before and it looked… weird. There were many big things made from wood, some even hanging on the walls. And another thing that looked like a cage with a transparent front. Kashi didn’t have a good feeling about that…

-----

Looked weird in here… Ruka looked around but saw nothing that looked like food. Maybe he could smell something? He closed his eyes and sniffed thoroughly, then sighed in disappointment. Nothing of the yummy stuff from the sun before… But maybe there was something on top of one of the wooden things there. So… How to get up there?

Looking around thoroughly, Ruka mewed happily when he found a thing that looked like a flat, round surface on really short legs first and then a ledge on one of the wooden things near it. That should work.

Ruka nodded to himself, then jumped up on the small surface-on-legs-thing and gasped in surprise when it wobbled slightly beneath him, but soon stabilised himself again. He was on a mission and couldn’t let himself get defeated by a brown, weak, wobbling… thing!

Eyeing the ledge before him carefully, Ruka got ready to jump.

-----

Kashi eyed his mate warily. He didn’t really like what Ruka was doing but was afraid to stop him. What if his mate got angry? What if he wanted to climb around there like that very badly and hated being disturbed while doing so?

Concernedly, Kashi watched Ruka tense his muscles and then jump, fly through the air towards a ledge and then-

Kashi howled in shock. Too short!

-----

Honey! Honey honey honey!

Ruka desperately held onto the ledge with his front paws while his lower body dangled in the air. He could hear Kashi mew beneath him, sounding worried, and gathered all his strength to pull himself up. Only a little… and a little more… and now his hind legs… and now…

Done.

He sighed deeply in relief, but then frowned when he noticed that the ledge was hollow and there were shiny things in it. Oh, careful, some of them were sharp and pointy. Weird ledge…

But that wasn’t important now. Ruka was on a mission to find yummy food for Kashi.

-----

Kashi almost slumped to the floor in relief. His mate was safe and-

Hey? Where was Ruka going now? Kashi didn’t like that he disappeared to the back of the wooden thing and out of his sight. What if there were more dangerous things up there?

Determined to protect his mate, Kashi jumped up onto the smaller thing, then to the ledge. He gasped when he slipped slightly on the slippery, shiny things in it, but caught himself almost instantly and looked around for his mate.

There. Ruka was walking around on the wooden things and seemed to search for something. Kashi mewed questioningly and followed.

-----

Hmmm… Things… things… and more things… ‘bottle’-things and round things and flat things and big things and small things and… even more things. But no food.

Honey!

But there were things with… with other things in them. Maybe that was food?

Curiously Ruka moved closer to a transparent thing with white stuff in it. He sniffed, then prodded it with his nose and afterwards with his paw until the thing finally fell over and the white stuff poured out over the surface of the wooden things and down to the floor. Carefully he tasted, then frowned.

Eergh! Salty.

-----

Oh, that was why. Kashi smiled. His mate was hungry and therefore searching for food. But it seemed that the white stuff wasn’t yummy at all. Hmmm… but maybe something in another one of the big, transparent things? Kashi tried to make another one fall over, then tasted the spilled contents when he succeeded but spit out immediately after.

Phew! Much too sweet.

He looked up and shook his head towards his mate, seeing Ruka look back disappointedly. Kashi mewed encouragingly. There were still many transparent things left. He would find something to eat for his mate.

Kashi grinned when a thought hit him. And he would show Ruka that he, the mighty Kashi, could even find food for his mate when there was supposedly nothing to find. Ha! He wanted to see how Naruto-human would try to beat that!

So… That thing looked good. There were small, round, brown things in it that looked a little like pebbles. Maybe they tasted good?

-----

Oh. Kashi was helping! Ruka purred in approval. Now they would find something to eat even sooner! Enthusiastically, he started to knock more transparent things over and tasted the contents.

Blergh! That white powder tasted like nothing.

Eew! The other white powder prickled on his tongue and tasted like nothing, too.

Oh! This was yummy! Ruka mewed happily. He’d found some rather flat things that tasted quite sweet, but not too much. He wished he’d have some water to make them softer though… Or milk! Milk would be perfect!

-----

Mmmh! The pebbles were really good! Kashi chewed on some more. They were quite sweet, but there was another taste in them that he thought he knew but couldn’t name. But Ruka would sure like them! And if Kashi also found some milk, they would be perfect.

Happily, Kashi called out for his mate, but then his shoulders slumped when he saw that Ruka had already found something to eat. He’d wanted to find food for his mate!

-----

Hm? Ruka looked up. Oh, Kashi had found something good, too? But why was he looking so sad now? Maybe the brown pebbles weren’t what he’d wanted?

Ruka would have to find out. He walked over to his companion, then tried some of the brown pebbles, chewing carefully, before his eyes widened. They were good! Very good!

Ruka mewed in praise of Kashi’s skills to find food.

-----

Oh. Oh! Ruka liked the food!

Kashi mewed, overly happy. Ruka liked his food! Ruka liked the food that he had found for him!

Relieved and happy and triumphant, Kashi jumped around his mate through the mixed contents of the several transparent things that were spilled all over around them and on the floor. He’d found the best! He’d found the best for his mate!

-----

Ruka purred happily at his companion’s obvious joy. Seemed that Kashi was happy with the food they’d found together. They were a really good food-hunting team. Or food-finding team. And they’d really gone through much trouble for it. The eew-stuff was spilled all over here and-

“MY KITCHEN! WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!”

Oops…

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Kashi was annoyed.

“… and then I came home and my whole kitchen was wrecked! There was salt and sugar everywhere, and flour and even baking powder! And all my cornflakes and chocolate puffs were spilled! It was a total mess!”

Oh, really. The orange human didn’t have to over-exaggerate everything. And he was telling that story for the fifth time that day by now.

“I bet Kashi chased Ruka around to bully him and they somehow got into the kitchen and up the shelves and knocked everything over!”

Again those unfair accusations! He would never bully his mate. And Naruto-human had absolutely no evidence that Kashi and his mate had made the mess in the food room. Really.

“Isn’t it so? Poor Ruka.”

Kashi snorted. No, it hadn’t been so. And there was no need for Naruto-human to hug Ruka that tightly. But Kashi could have even forgiven the human for doing so, if he hadn’t-

“Ruff!”

“Akamaru says that Ruka looks like he’ll suffocate soon.”

A DOG! How could the orange human invite a DOG?!

-----

Ruka gasped for air desperately while at the same time he tried to shrink into Naruto-human’s chest. There was a dog! Why had his human invited another human with a dog? Ruka didn’t like dogs, especially not dogs that were as big as he was.

“Rrruff!”

“No, Akamaru, that’s not Iruka-sensei’s pet”, the human belonging to the dog said. “That’s Iruka-sensei himself.”

“Ra-wrof!”

“Fine, if you don’t want to believe me, I can’t help you.”

Ruka tried to worm his way out of Naruto-human’s grip as inconspicuously as possible. Maybe he could escape when the dog was occupied somehow? And then maybe hide somewhere? He didn’t like the way Akamaru-dog was looking at him…

-----

That brown animal smelled like Iruka-sensei-friend. Akamaru liked Iruka-sensei-friend. Iruka-sensei-friend always rubbed Akamaru’s back and scratched Akamaru’s ears when Akamaru and Kiba-best-friend met Iruka-sensei-friend. But where was Iruka-sensei-friend now?

“What about something to drink?”, Naruto-friend asked.

“Sure.” Kiba-best-friend nodded.

Akamaru watched how Naruto-friend set down the brown animal, then stood up and left the room with Kiba-best-friend. Now Akamaru had a chance to investigate where Iruka-sensei-friend was. Kiba-best-friend had to be completely bonkers if Kiba-best-friend thought that Akamaru would believe that the brown animal was Iruka-sensei-friend. Now really!

But Akamaru would bet all the chewing bones Akamaru owned that that brown animal knew where Iruka-sensei-friend was. Akamaru just had to find out.

-----

Kashi watched the humans leave the room. Good. Now he could show that dog who was the boss around here and whose mate the dog didn’t have to look at like that. Kashi bristled his fur menacingly and stood up, then jumped on the couch next to Ruka and hissed at the offender.

To his greatest delight, Ruka immediately moved close to his side and pressed his body against him.

To his greatest surprise, Akamaru-dog didn’t seem to be intimidated the least.

Kashi frowned. Was that dog dense or did he not have any survival instincts at all? He was determined and dangerous, dammit!

-----

Oh, Kashi was there to help him. Ruka sighed in relief and pressed his body closer against the other’s, feeling himself relax at the nice warmth and the strength emanating from Kashi. Together they would sure find a way to defend themselves against Akamaru-dog.

When he felt Kashi move beside him and inch to the left slowly, Ruka followed closely, his eyes fixated on the threat before him. But Akamaru-dog was following them!

-----

Now there was that other animal with the brown one. Akamaru didn’t know that silver one’s smell as well as Iruka-sensei-friend’s, but Akamaru was quite sure that it was familiar, too. Somehow Akamaru connected that smell with Pakkun-friend… Maybe that was one of Pakkun-friend’s pack? But Pakkun-friend was a dog like Akamaru…

But however, Akamaru would first search for Iruka-sensei-friend and then, after that and after having received a nice belly-rub from Iruka-sensei-friend, Akamaru would try to find out who that silver animal belonged to. Yes, that was a good idea.

-----

Okay… Now Kashi only had to get his mate away from that dog. Slowly, he inched to the left to get some space between them and the threat and then make a run for it. Kashi didn’t like the thought to run away from an opponent, but he had to make sure that Ruka stayed safe no matter what.

“Akamaru, don’t scare them, alright?”, Kiba-human’s voice rang out to them.

Kashi hissed. He wasn’t scared! He was just concerned about Ruka. That wasn’t the same!

-----

Ruka was scared. But even worse, Ruka was concerned that Kashi could start a fight with Akamaru-dog and get hurt. Ruka didn’t want that. Ruka didn’t want Kashi to get hurt, and he had to do something to prevent that, but what?

Ruka tensed when the dog took yet another step towards them and Kashi hissed. It wouldn’t take long anymore for Kashi to attack! And then he would get hurt! Ruka didn’t want that, he wanted nothing less and he had to do something right now!

Without any further thinking, Ruka bolted forwards, jumped in front of Akamaru-dog, hissed and broke in a headless run. He just hoped that the dog would follow him and leave Kashi alone.

-----

That brown animal wanted to play! Akamaru liked playing! Especially playing hunt!

Akamaru gave chase.

-----

Nooo! What was his mate doing there?! And that dog was hunting Ruka now! Kashi couldn’t let that happen! Kashi had to defend his mate!

“Hey, what’s happening there?”, Naruto-human’s voice rang towards him.

Kashi ignored him. He couldn’t spare any attention to that now, he was busy trying to distract the dog from his mate so Ruka would be able to escape. But neither Ruka nor the dog seemed to take notice of him running after them over the couch, under the table and through the room Naruto-human slept in. Damn!

Kashi jumped slightly when suddenly a loud, harsh ringing sounded, but then kept trying to reach his mate.

-----

That sound! Ruka knew that sound! That sound meant-

“Hey, that must be Shino and Hinata-chan!”

Yes, it meant that there would come more humans. And it also meant…

Ruka took a turn, then another, then bolted when he heard a clicking sound. In a matter of seconds, he was through the moving wall Naruto-human had disappeared behind some times before and ran down a long cave he didn’t know with many moving walls left and right. But it didn’t matter where he ran as long as he took that dog with him and away from Kashi.

-----

Uh-oh. That was the bad door. The one Akamaru wasn’t to walk out without Kiba-best-friend when not at home.

Akamaru came to a screeching stop. Hunt over?

-----

Ruka!

Kashi yowled after his mate while he jumped over the unmoving dog. Where was his mate going? Kashi didn’t know what was behind that moving wall. And now Ruka even ran through another one.

But it didn’t matter. Kashi had to be with Ruka.

So he followed.

-----

Left! And now right! And there, another moving wall! And now-

What was that?! Many humans! And animals! And so many feet stomping left and right from him! But Ruka couldn’t stop now. He had to lure that dog away from Kashi!

So he kept running.

-----

The brown animal was gone. And now even the unfriendly silver animal ran away. And Naruto-friend was shouting something Akamaru couldn’t understand because Naruto-friend seemed to be very upset.

Akamaru sighed sadly. No hunting anymore and maybe Akamaru even was in trouble. Akamaru hoped that at least the brown animal was alright.

-----

Ruka! Ruka!

Kashi ran after the tip of a brown tail he could barely see in front of him. He had to find Ruka! And then bring him back to Naruto-human. As much as he disliked the orange human always touching his mate, Kashi didn’t know a place safer for Ruka than Naruto-human’s lair and his mate had to be safe no matter what! Kashi didn’t think he could stand to lose Ruka.

-----

So, left now! And now, now right! And right! And… and… and…

Ruka stilled. Looked left. Looked right. Looked left again. Turned around and looked left and right again. Walked back a little. Stilled again.

Ruka couldn’t suppress a soft whimper when he realised something. He was lost. No Naruto-human. No Sasuke-human and no Sakura-human.

And no Kashi.

Ruka whimpered again. No Kashi.

-----

“They’re gone!”, Naruto-friend shouted. “I can’t find them!”

Akamaru whimpered softly. Akamaru hadn’t wanted that.

-----

Where was the tail?! Kashi looked around quickly but couldn’t see any sign of Ruka. Maybe he was around that wall? Or behind the next? Or maybe there? Or maybe Kashi should go back to the lair and get Naruto-human?

If he found the way back, that was…

Kashi mewed softly. Naruto-human? Sakura-human? Sasuke-human?

Ruka?

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Ruka sniffled miserably when he yet again turned around a wall and found that he still didn’t know where he was. He was lost for so, so long already. He was cold. And dirty. And slightly wet from a puddle he’d stumbled into earlier. And he was alone. And really hungry by now. Ruka missed Naruto-human and Sakura-human and even Sasuke-human. And, most of all, Ruka missed Kashi.

What if Kashi had gotten injured? What if Kashi was lost, just like him? Or even worse, in danger? What if-

Ruka jumped, then whirled around and hissed when somebody touched his back. He immediately clawed at his attacker and was just about to run away when he realised whom he’d clawed. Again. For the third time, to be precise.

-----

His poor nose! So mean!

Kashi howled in shock and pain at having his nose abused again. Hey, that was his nose! It was special, alright? And precious since it was his only nose! It wasn’t fair of Ruka to scratch him once again! He hadn’t done anything and it had taken so long to find him, and now-

Whoa!

And now Ruka was sprawled over him and purring and mewing and rubbing his nose and licking his face. Okay, maybe getting scratched wasn’t so bad…

-----

Kashi! Kashi Kashi Kashi Kashi Kashi! Kashi! Kashi was alright!

Ruka purred happily. Kashi was fine! And Kashi had found him! Together they would find their way through all those humans and feet and animals and rolling things back to Naruto-human’s lair.

Ruka sighed deeply and snuggled his face into his silver friend’s fur. He was so relieved.

-----

Okay, getting lost wasn’t really bad. As long as it was together with Ruka.

Kashi sighed and closed his eyes to fully enjoy his mate petting him. This was nice. He was still wet and slightly cold, but it was better now that he had Ruka back and knew that his mate was fine. With all those humans and things and animals running and rolling around, he had feared the worst. But Ruka was alright and that was all that mattered for hi-

When he heard a weird noise, Kashi opened his eyes again. And caught sight of trouble.

“Raghr-wruff!”

Big trouble.

-----

Ruka looked up from Kashi’s neck and froze. Dogs. Two dogs. Two big dogs. Even bigger than Akamaru-dog. And they were ugly. Really ugly. And they looked as if they would like a Ruka-snack and a Kashi-snack.

Ruka jumped up and hissed while he positioned himself between Kashi and the dogs. No way! There was so no way that he would let them hurt Kashi! Now that he finally had his friend back, he wouldn’t allow anybody to take him away again or hurt him!

-----

So cute!

Kashi couldn’t help a happy mew at seeing Ruka wanting to protect him. But his mate didn’t have to. Kashi could take care of those two dogs and then Ruka could admire him. Yes, good idea.

When one of the dogs made a step forward, Kashi quickly jumped in front of his mate and bared his fangs menacingly. Just as he’d expected, the gnarly thing didn’t back away but got ready to attack. Not wanting to wait and let the dog make the first step, Kashi jumped, extended his claws and aimed for his opponent’s nose, knowing from experience how much that hurt.

Only to suddenly get tackled out of the air and thrown against a solid wall by the second dog. Kashi gasped at the painful impact and even felt everything get black around him for a moment. Damn. Not going as planned.

-----

Kashi!

Ruka yowled in shock at seeing his friend taken down. And now the two dogs even seemed to ignore him in favour of finishing Kashi off!

Ruka growled. Three things. First, he hated it to be ignored or underestimated. Second, he hated it to see an unfair fight like two against one. And third, that was his friend Kashi! His friend Kashi!

He would teach those bastards to hurt his Kashi!

Ruka jumped onto the nearest dog’s back and immediately started to unleash his anger.

-----

Kashi blinked. Then blinked again. Then again, just to make sure he wasn’t out cold and dreaming. But yes, that was indeed Ruka there. Gentle, cute, friendly Ruka.

Or, to come closer to reality: Fierce, violent, angry Ruka.

Wow.

Wow!

Wow!

Kashi watched, completely enthralled, how his mate first scratched-bit-ripped-tore-clawed at the first dog, then went over to the second when his victim hastily scrambled to escape. The second dog didn’t need just as much… encouragement as the first, probably being already sufficiently impressed by Ruka.

And then suddenly everything was over again and there were only Kashi and a panting Ruka left.

-----

Ha!

Ruka took a deep breath.

Ha!

Those dogs would think twice now before again trying to hurt his friends. He’d so showed them that Kashi was not to touch. Kashi was his! His his his his hi-

…

His friend, that was. Not his mate or anything, no, just his friend. Not his mate. No, not his ma-

“Ruka!”

“Kashi!”

Hu? Ruka looked up into three familiar faces. His humans! He snorted. Typical! Now that he’d taken care of the trouble, they came out. But he was still very happy and relieved to have them back. Now Kashi would be safe.

-----

Oh, the humans. They were rather late, Kashi decided. But however, they would take him and Ruka back to Naruto-human’s lair where it would be safe. Although he now had a very different view of Ruka. Seemed as if his mate didn’t need him to protect them.

Kashi grinned. Perfect. He wouldn’t want it any other way. His life was definitely getting better and-

“Ruka, what happened to you?! Did Kashi do that to you?!” Naruto-human glared at him. “Bad Kashi!”

Kashi sighed and let his head fall down. Grrreat.

-----

Stupid Naruto-human. Ruka shook his head and sighed. Humans were so dense…

But however, Kashi had tried to protect him and no matter that he’d not been lucky, Ruka was grateful for it. And that screamed for a reward.

And, furthermore, Ruka enjoyed snuggling with Kashi.

-----

So mean! Ruka and he had been so good against those dogs. And Ruka had been so brave. And now Naruto-human had to come and destroy everything by assuming that he’d been bad. So mean! Maybe now Ruka would think less of him and-

…

And nuzzle him.

Kashi purred. Then he purrrrrred.

Purrrrrrfect!

-----

Ruka sniggered when he felt his friend’s chest vibrate beneath his nose. He and Kashi were safe, Kashi was happy and they would go back to Naruto-human’s lair and finally get something to eat now. Maybe even that nice food from before.

Perfect.

And now he would pass out.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Kashi turned up his nose. That weird food again?! He’d had that… stuff the sun before and this sun for early, a-little-later and now for late food. The orange human had to like that food a lot. Or just not know anything else… Probably Naruto-human thought that those wobbly things were the only good food. That would explain why he’d shouted so much after he’d found him and his mate eating something else earlier that sun. And the orange human sure had shouted a lot. Humans…

Kashi sighed, then his gaze fell onto his mate. Ruka was just taking that weird, flat thing on top of the food between his teeth carefully, then ate it in obvious bliss.

Kashi looked down at his own sample of the light, flat… thing with the little swirl on it. He’d eaten it the times they’d been fed before but he couldn’t really understand why Ruka liked it so much. But since the best was just good enough for his mate…

Very carefully, Kashi took the piece of food between his teeth, then tilted his head and let it fall into Ruka’s bowl. He waited until his mate had noticed the treat, then tried to look as harmless and as less offending as possible. He wasn’t quite sure how Ruka saw him by now, but maybe if he behaved this sun, Ruka would stay and sleep next to him this moon. The other had been very friendly and even cuddly ever since they’d had their fight with the dogs, so Kashi allowed himself to hope. A little.

-----

Ruka frowned. Why had Kashi given him that yummy thing from his food? It was the best of all that was in the bowl, so why did he give it away? He watched the silver one closely, but the other didn’t give a sign that he wanted anything in return. Ruka shrugged. He would just eat the yummy treat and then see what happened.

Purring in anticipation, he bent his head down, half-heartedly alerted just in case Kashi should try to bite him, then fished out the yummy thing and started chewing, purring again. He loved that stuff! Pity that there was only one per bowl.

What brought him back to his earlier question. Why had Kashi given it to him?

Still chewing, Ruka turned his head around to look at his companion. He saw the other watch him closely, then heard him mew happily before Kashi turned his attention back to his own food.

Ruka frowned and swallowed. So it really had been a treat. That was… that was really nice of Kashi! Ruka purred to himself. So nice.

-----

Kashi was happy. Ruka had eaten his treat, Ruka had looked pleased and Ruka had purred! And all that for only one weird piece of food! He would give that thing to his mate every time from now on!

Still grinning happily, Kashi turned back to his own food and started to wolf down the long, thin, wobbly things first. He would leave the best – the meat – for last.

-----

Ruka watched Kashi from the corner of his eye. He noticed that, like the times before, the other would first eat the worm-like things quickly before he would take his time to savour the meat. Ruka grinned. He wasn’t as patient as his companion. He preferred to eat the best first.

But maybe… Ruka looked down at the strip of crunchy meat on top of his food. Kashi had given him the best piece of his food, so it was only fair if he gave him at least the second-best in return, right?

Having made up his mind, Ruka took the piece of meat on one end and turned his head to offer it to his silver companion, then mewed around the treat in his mouth.

-----

Kashi looked up when he heard his mate call for him only to crash with his nose into something warm. He heard Ruka mew apologetically and a little shocked, then saw him take a step back and noticed that he held a piece of meat between his teeth. And it wasn’t even just any piece of meat. It was the best piece of meat that was inside their food bowls!

Kashi frowned and tilted his head. But why was his mate carrying it around? It would get cold.

Determined to find out what Ruka wanted, Kashi mewed questioningly. He frowned again when his mate only moved his head into his direction and wiggled the meat in front of his face. Now what could that mean?

He saw how Ruka repeated his movements, then thought hard. His mate. A piece of meat. And Ruka was wiggling it around in front of his face, just as if he wanted-

Kashi stared at his companion. Could that be true?!

-----

Ruka mewed again, a little impatient. He wished that Kashi would hurry up and take the meat. It wasn’t easy to hold it in his mouth and not eat it.

Ah, now the other seemed to have understood. Ruka mewed happily, encouragingly.

-----

Now that mew sounded like an invitation… Kashi pondered for another breath, then leaned forward slowly and opened his mouth to bite into the tasty, hopefully-a-treat-for-Kashi meat. When he didn’t see anger in Ruka’s eyes, he sank his teeth deeply into the meat and sighed in bliss. He was truly lucky to have a mate like that…

Soon. To soon have a mate like that.

But right now Kashi was content to get a yummy treat from Ruka.

-----

Good. Kashi had accepted the treat. Ruka grinned and just wanted to retreat his teeth from the meat but then thought better. Wouldn’t hurt to have a little fun…

He sank his teeth a little deeper into the piece of food and tugged at it playfully.

-----

Hm? Had Ruka changed his mind suddenly? Kashi tensed. Or had he misinterpreted the signs? Was his mate angry now?!

Afraid to have angered the other, Kashi threw an unsure glance at Ruka, then frowned, teeth still in the meat, when he saw a sparkle in his companion’s eyes that looked like… mischief? Kashi frowned deeper, then grinned. So his mate wanted to play…

Growling softly, Kashi pulled at the meat between them and purred in delight when he felt Ruka do the same. He pulled a little more and a little more until the meat ripped apart right in front of his mate’s teeth.

Winner! Kashi grinned triumphantly.

-----

Honey! Ruka chewed the meat in his mouth quickly and swallowed. Was the fun already over? He didn’t want that!

He watched Kashi look at him smugly, the long piece of meat still hanging out of his mouth, and decided that this game was nowhere near over. Instead, Ruka got ready to attack.

-----

So his mate wanted to play more… Kashi got ready to defend his meat with all that would be necessary.

When Ruka jumped him, Kashi dodged gracefully and took two steps back, then looked at his mate, a broad grin on his face. The other was a gorgeous sight to behold, his eyes sparkling in mischief, his shiny fur just a perfect little bit bristled and his stance positively graceful.

He got ready to jump back again when he saw the muscles of Ruka’s back flex but was suddenly stopped by a hand on the scruff of his neck that lifted him up rather roughly. Kashi mewed around the meat in disappointment and confusion. What?

“Bad Kashi”, he heard Naruto-human scold him. “First you scare Ruka so much that he runs away, then you bully him around while he’s lost and now you even steal his meat.”

Scare?! Bully?! Steal?! Kashi mewed, half indignant and half miserable. He would never do that! And the meat had been a treat! A treat from his mate! Why wasn’t he allowed to take a treat from his mate?! And why couldn’t he play with Ruka anymore?!

“You’ve got your own bacon, you greedy Jounin”, Naruto-human told him and set him back to the floor but still held him down by his neck.

Kashi could only watch how the mean orange human first took the piece of meat from his mouth, then the other from his bowl and then threw both into Ruka’s. Why did he do that? If Ruka had wanted it, Kashi would have given it to his mate! Why-

Kashi growled. Did Naruto-human try to take his mate away from him by giving him food?! He would-

“If you scratch or bite me, you’ll sleep outside tonight, hear me?”

That was so mean! Kashi mewed miserably. That human was much stronger than him. And he hadn’t even done anything wrong. Why did never anything go right for him? At this rate, he should just forget about Ruka sleeping with him on the pillow this moon…

-----

Naruto-human wasn’t nice to Kashi! Ruka growled angrily. He didn’t like that his human and his silver friend weren’t getting along well. And Kashi hadn’t done anything wrong this time. Naruto-human just didn’t understand.

Trying to explain the situation to his human, Ruka took the two pieces of meat from his bowl and placed them back into Kashi’s, then mewed determinedly.

“You don’t have to give it to him”, Naruto-human said. “I won’t let him boss you around anymore, don’t worry.” He reached out to take the meat away again.

Ruka hissed angrily and scratched the air right in front of his human’s hand as a warning. That was Kashi’s meat! Nobody would take it away from his mate as long as Ruka was there to-

…

‘MATE’?!

-----

His mate was defending him! Kashi mewed encouragingly. So this whole stuff wasn’t going so bad for him after all!

“You want to give it to him?”, he heard Naruto-human ask incredulously.

Tsk. Those humans were so stupid. But sure his mate wanted to give him the meat!

“Alright, alright.” The orange human sighed. “You know, I’ll just let you handle your stuff on your own.”

Perfect idea. Seemed as if even humans had bright moments sometimes. Kashi mewed approvingly when he was freed from the grip around his neck, then gracefully strolled over to his bowl where he took the larger piece of meat and offered it to his mate. Only after Ruka had shaken his head did he eat it, then also ate the other one before he looked up at the orange human again in triumph.

Ha! Kashi’s meat and Kashi’s mate!

“I don’t get it”, Naruto-human told him and walked off through the hole in the wall.

Well, Kashi had expected that. Shrugging, he wolfed down the rest of his food, then looked at his mate. He frowned when he saw that Ruka wasn’t looking at him at all. In fact, he was even avoiding his gaze!

Kashi sighed. He didn’t know what, but he’d certainly done something wrong again. And that probably meant another night alone.

-----

Why had he thought of Kashi as his mate?! Distractedly, Ruka munched on his food and did his best not to look at the other. This was so confusing! He didn’t even want to be anybody’s mate!

Or did he?

Ruka allowed himself a quick glance towards Kashi only to see him stare at his empty bowl miserably. Ruka frowned. He didn’t like it when the other was sad. He wanted to see him happy. He wanted him to prance around him and wanted to hear him purr and wanted to lie as close to him as possible and wanted to rub his nose into his fur and-

…

Okay, but that didn’t mean anything!

And even if he wanted Kashi as his mate… What would that mean? Would that mean that he would have to submit to Kashi? Would he really have to let him bite his neck? He didn’t want to submit to anybody, he wanted to be able to decide on his own. Even if it was Kashi, he didn’t want to be dependent on him, so he didn’t want to submit to him. But could he… could he maybe just be his mate without submitting to him like that? Was that possible?

Ruka mewed in confusion. This was so… complicated. He didn’t understand it at all.

-----

Seemed that his mate was uncomfortable with him around. Kashi sighed miserably. Best he left him alone now, no matter how much he wanted to stay with Ruka for as long as possible. But if he was upsetting him…

With a last longing glance at the other, Kashi turned around and crawled onto his pillow and under the blanket. Well, at least the cloth smelled a little like his mate since Ruka had sat on it earlier…

Sighing again, Kashi closed his eyes and prepared himself for another lonely moon-run.

-----

Oh, Kashi was going to sleep already. Ruka frowned. Maybe that was a good idea. He should sleep now and then think about everything again tomorrow.

Nodding to himself, Ruka turned around and went to go to sleep.

-----

Hm? What was that? Kashi opened his eyes when he felt the pillow dip on his right, then froze.

Ruka was coming to him!

Kashi held his breath while he watched his mate crawl under the blanket, shift a little and then settle down. Ruka sighed contently before he inched even closer until his side was flush against Kashi’s own, then mewed sleepily and closed his eyes.

Kashi didn’t dare move. His mate was going to sleep next to him! Not with the human behind the moving wall! No, with him! He felt a broad grin spread over his face. Take that, Naruto-human!

Sighing in deep content and bliss, Kashi snuggled into Ruka’s warm body and closed his eyes. Mrrrrrh…

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

tbc

-

AN:
Just in case that wasn’t clear enough: Ruka jumped in the kitchen from a small stool up onto an open drawer filled with forks, knifes, spoons and such. And the ‘light, flat thing’ on the ramen is supposed to be that fish-cracker that’s on the noodles sometimes. I read that its name in Japanese is ‘Naruto’ and found it funny if Ruka likes it best.
Nayru

Claws And Teeth, Chapter 1

2007-12-22T16:46:29Z

Title: Claws And Teeth
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: T
Summary: An accident, an experiment gone wrong, and suddenly there’s a whole new perspective of life for them. And fur.
Spoilers: None
Status: Chapter 1 of 4
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

Claws And Teeth

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 1

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CAN’T?!”, a very loud voice boomed.

He groaned softly and frowned. Now that wasn’t nice. He’d been sleeping so well right now, and furthermore had had this really, really nice dream with… about… with…

He couldn’t remember. Grrreat.

“Naruto, would you please calm down?”, somebody else said. “Yelling doesn’t solve our problems.”

“BUT LOOK AT THEM!” The first voice again.

How annoying. He cracked one of his eyes open and blinked. There were one, two, three, four figures in the room, one big one and three smaller ones. The big one had really big… teats? The smaller ones were… orange, pink and moody, to name his first impressions.

“I see them”, the pink one said. According to voice and body stature, it was a quite young female. At least as far as he could guess.

He yawned, stretched and scratched his ear. Now really, why was he here? He was already bored and he’d only been awake for some breaths. He could spend his time with something much more interesting. Like… like chasing something, that was fun. Or even better: Lying in the sun and sleeping. Mmmh… yes, that sounded good.

Having made up his mind to go and do just that, he straightened up and moved to jump down from the big, soft surface he presently was on. Pity that there probably wasn’t such a thing outside. Lying on such a soft surface and in the sun would be-

“Whoa! He’s trying to run!”, someone shouted suddenly, then hands grabbed him before he really could make a run for it.

“You have to stay here, Kakashi-sensei!”, the orange figure, probably a young male, told him and looked at him reproachfully.

‘Kakashi-sensei’? Now what the heck was that again?

“Yes, Kashi”, the pink one purred and took him from the other’s arms to hug him tightly. “You’re not supposed to walk around on your own.”

‘Kashi’? And what was-

…

Oh no! Oh freaking no! That wasn’t the… the… that thing, right? That n-thing. … That ‘name’-thing he had been given by those… those… humans, now was it?! Now really, if the humans thought that having a name was necessary, they should name their own kind, but why did he need something like a name? And one like ‘Kashi’ furthermore?

“‘Kashi’?”, the orange human asked. “Sakura-chan, why did you call him ‘Kashi’?”

Yes, why?

“Because I can’t call him ‘Kakashi-sensei’ anymore, now can I, Naruto?”, that Sakura-human gave back.

That ‘Kakashi-sensei’ again… He frowned. Now that was a really weird name. And much too long, that was. He could call himself lucky that it was already someone else’s name.

“And since he’s so cute”, Sakura-human continued, “I’ll call him ‘Kashi’.”

Cute?! Oh. Freaking. Grrreat. He sighed. But well… ‘Kashi’ wasn’t that bad. And if the humans thought that he absolutely needed a name, ‘Kashi’ was probably as good as some and certainly better than most.

Sighing in defeat, It-Seems-That-Now-I’m-Kashi went boneless in Sakura-human’s grip, hoping to manage to simply flow out of her hands.

“Okay, Sakura-chan”, Naruto-human murmured. “But it’s still weird to call him that… What do you think about it, Sasuke-teme?”

“Hrn”, the moody human only supplied.

Kashi looked from one of them to the other. Were they done now? Now that he had a name, could he go and lie in the sun in peace?

“And Iruka-sensei will be ‘Ruka’”, Sakura-human chirped.

Kashi snorted. So he wasn’t the only one to suffer and be named. He looked around in search for that mysterious ‘Ruka’ until his eyes caught sight of a bundle of dark brown fur on another one of those big, white, soft surfaces. Seemed the other was asleep and didn’t know about his luck and new name yet.

“I will not let you call Iruka-sensei ‘Ruka’!”, Naruto-human shouted.

Kashi winced at the volume. Humans were so loud. Now really, he was just glad that he wasn’t one of them.

But back to his still sleeping companion… Kashi ignored the bickering humans and let his gaze travel over a long, slim body and tail, admiring the shiny brown fur. Now that was definitely a nice-looking one. Maybe he should try to become friends with him? Chasing somethings and lying in the sun were even more enjoyable if you had someone to keep you company, and-

“STOP IT!”, the big human yelled suddenly, “ALL OF YOU!”

Kashi mewed pitifully. He had sensitive ears, mind you, big human. He tried to cover his ears with his paws, but then his eyes fell onto his companion again. The other, Ruka, just opened his eyes slowly and blinked, then he looked around until he met Kashi’s gaze.

Kashi froze the moment he looked into the other’s dark brown eyes, still a little hazy from sleep, and suddenly knew what he would, what he just had to do.

Screw becoming friends. He had to make that one his mate!

-----

He blinked slowly. So mean… why did somebody have to yell? He’d just had such a nice dream. Something about… about…

Great. Now he’d forgotten it. Honey!

Grumpily he looked around to see where he was and whom he could scratch for waking him up. There were four humans, one big and obviously female one and three smaller ones, probably two males and one female. Although he wasn’t entirely sure about that dark, moody-looking one…

Oh, and there was someone else. One of his kind, with silver fur and really weird eyes, one blue and one red. And… why was the other staring at him so intensely? That was kind of creepy…

“Iruka-sensei’s awake!”, the orange human shouted suddenly, then bounced towards him and yanked him up from the nice, soft… thing he was on. “It’s me! Naruto!”

He frowned. First, what was that ‘Iruka-sensei’? Second, why was that human so… orange? And third, why did he have the really strong impression that he should know him?

“Naruto, stop it!”, the pink human shouted. “Before you hurt Ruka!”

Yes, right. Naruto-human should really stop yanking him around like that. Hmm… seemed that he was ‘Ruka’. Well, there were definitely worse names than that. Like that ‘Iruka-sensei’… poor guy.

“Oh!” Naruto-human immediately let him down to the soft surface again. “I’m sorry, Iruka-sensei!”

Hu? Did Naruto-human yank that ‘Iruka-sensei’ around, too? Ruka frowned. But however, he could lie on this soft… something again. That was nice.

“You have to change them back, Tsunade-obachan!”, he heard Naruto-human shout.

“And how?”, the big human asked. “Thanks to you, I don’t even know how I changed them for the first time!”

“But… but you have to”, Naruto-human murmured. “I don’t want Iruka-sensei to stay like this…” He moved to sit next to Ruka and stroked his back.

Ruka purred deep in his chest and closed his eyes. Now that was nice. He still didn’t know why this bouncy orange human was so familiar, but he already knew that he definitely liked him.

-----

Kashi didn’t like that orange human at all. How could he dare to touch his mate?!

Kashi growled and moved to jump into the overbearing human’s face but was stopped by the hold Sakura-human still had on him.

“Oh, poor Kashi”, she cooed, “are you jealous? Do you want to be petted, too?”

Kashi hissed and clawed at her arm, effectively causing her to yelp and drop him. With all the feline grace he could muster, he landed on his paws, then jumped, climbed up a very surprised Sasuke-human’s pants and shirt and finally reached the orange human and his mate.

“Oh look, how cuuuuuute!”, he heard the pink human squeal. “He wants to play with Ruka!”

Yes, Kashi definitely wanted to play with Ruka. He wanted to play ‘Icha Icha’ with him and-

Kashi frowned. Where had that come from? And just what was ‘Icha Icha’?

Shrugging and mentally shaking his head, Kashi decided to ignore this thought for the moment and instead approached his mate. Later he could try to figure out what exactly ‘Icha Icha’ was and in which way playing it was so enjoyab-

“I don’t think so.” Suddenly someone grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and lifted him up, then he was facing the big human.

Kashi mewed in utter confusion. What was that about? What had he to do with that female that couldn’t wait until he’d reached and claimed his mate?

“But he only wants to play with Ruka”, Sakura-human whined.

Yes, he only wanted to play with Ruka. Why wasn’t he allowed to? Ruka was going to be his mate, mind you, big human. Kashi mewed miserably. So mean.

“I bet.” The big human snorted. “Since they’re getting along so well when they’re normal.”

Kashi mewed again, indignant this time. He would get along very well with Ruka, he would protect his mate and hunt food for him and make sure that he was warm when the moon was up and most of all never let anybody else touch his mate. He would be very good to him!

Aaand he was normal, thank you very much.

“Oh. Maybe you’re right, Tsunade-sama”, Sakura-human murmured. “But maybe we should give it a try?”

“Maybe.” Tsunade-human gave Kashi a suspicious glance which he returned with an affronted glare. “Since I have no idea how to change them back.”

“You don’t?!”, Naruto-human shouted suddenly. “You’re supposed to be the best in that stuff!”

“Well, I am”, Tsunade-human huffed indignantly. “And I would know exactly how to change them back if I knew how I changed them to begin with.”

“But you-”

“And I would know how I changed them if somebody hadn’t swapped the labels on some of my ingredients in my laboratory as a stupid excuse of a prank. I really hope that that somebody is very pleased with himself now.”

“I’m sorry”, Naruto-human murmured.

“Oh, that’s great. Well, since somebody is sorry now, it won’t be a problem anymore to change them back.” Tsunade-human glared at the orange one and tightened her grip on Kashi’s fur, making him mew in pain.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t want this to happen.”

“Can’t you change them back at all?”, Sasuke-human asked suddenly.

Kashi stopped his struggling against the mean, big human’s grip to stare in surprise at the moody human. That one could actually talk?!

“I guess I can.” Tsunade-human sighed. “But I’ll have to analyse the remains of the powder to find out what it contains exactly before I can make an antidote.”

“Why did you have to make it a powder at all?”, Naruto-human grumped. “If you had made pills, Iruka-sensei wouldn’t have been affected, too.”

“Well, I made it a powder because it would show effects faster than a pill. And like that it could be used on more than one shinobi in battle. The ingredients are rare and I thought that having cat-like reflexes could perhaps be useful for the whole team”, Tsunade-human answered, the tone of her voice causing the orange human to flinch. “And if you hadn’t pulled a prank on Iruka-sensei and let him chase you around, he wouldn’t be affected now.”

“How could I know that he would run right into Kakashi-sensei?”, Naruto-human grumbled. “And that that baka had just opened the powder box to… to… to whatever.”

Kashi yawned. Now that was a really boring conversation. And he didn’t even understand much of it, just that those ‘Iruka-sensei’ and ‘Kakashi-sensei’ were probably humans and certainly in big trouble. But that wasn’t his problem, right? Rrright. His problem right now was to get out of Tsunade-human’s grip and to his mate as soon as possible before anybody else realised what a good catch Ruka was and tried to steal him.

Kashi lifted his paw to claw his way out of his captivity. And then he would hurry to Ruka and-

“Oh no, you don’t”, Tsunade-human told him and suddenly gave him a brain-shaking slap on his head.

OOOOOWWWW! Mean, big human! Kashi hissed and scratched at her.

“Brat.” The big human just threw him away from her.

Kashi felt himself impact on a soft surface, then bounce off it again. As fast as he could, he turned and sank his claws into the white cloth beneath him to get a grip, then looked around. He mewled in delight when he saw where exactly he had landed and moved to approach his slumbering mate right in front of him.

-----

Humans sure could talk a lot… Ruka yawned and snuggled closer to the nice, orange, petting one. As long as they weren’t screaming and the bouncy one kept stroking his back, he was perfectly content.

Hm? Now what was that? An impact or something? Ruka considered opening his eyes but then thought better. Naruto-human hadn’t moved, so whatever it was, it probably wasn’t important.

Hm? But what was that now? There was-

Ruka jumped and instinctively clawed at his offender with all that he had when suddenly someone pressed their nose into the back of his neck.

-----

OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW! Kashi howled in pain. Why had his mate done that?! He only had wanted to bite the back of Ruka’s neck and claim him as his, so why had the other scratched him that badly?

Mewing miserably, Kashi touched his hurting nose with his left front paw, then flinched when he felt something warm and wet on it. Ruka had scratched him bloody!

Kashi threw a reproachful look at his mate. Bad Ruka! Hurting your mate wasn’t nice at all.

-----

Oh. That somebody had been the other one of his kind. Ruka looked at him in surprise, then felt a sharp pang of pity and guilt. The other was bleeding! He hadn’t intended to-

“Ruka hurt Kashi!”, the pink human shouted suddenly. “Did you see that?!”

So the other’s name was Kashi. Ruka mewed apologetically. He was really sorry that he’d hurt him. He had just been so surprised by the sudden touch on his neck.

“That was amazing!”, Naruto-human shouted. “Kakashi-sensei wanted to pull a prank on him, but Iruka-sensei paid him back!”

Again those two ‘sensei’-humans. Ruka decided to ignore the humans altogether and to better go and apologise to Kashi. The other one looked really upset.

-----

Kashi patted his nose again and flinched at the pain. So mean! And it hurt really badly! Why had his mate clawed him? Could it be that he didn’t want-

Kashi shook his head. No way! There was no way that Ruka didn’t want to be his mate. Now really, he was strong and flexible, he had good teeth, shiny fur and neither fleas nor worms. He was the perfect mate, dammit! And he would show him.

Determined to win Ruka in a fight if it should be necessary, Kashi looked up, but then froze. Ruka was coming to him! Kashi grinned triumphantly. Seemed like his mate had seen that there was no escape and no better mate than him. But he wouldn’t give in too easily. Ruka should see who was the dominant male here!

Watching closely, he observed how Ruka approached him slowly, gracefully. Kashi could see how the strong muscles in the other’s back moved and flexed under the shiny fur, only slightly marred by a scar on his back. And that… yes, there was a slightly lighter strip of fur running over his mate’s nose. Nice. He really had chosen a perfect mate for himself.

Kashi stood his ground while Ruka came closer until he sat right in front of him. He watched how the brown one lifted one of his front paws and touched his nose gently, then looked at the now bloody paw. Then Ruka looked up at him and mewed apologetically.

Kashi grinned and lowered his head a little to show that he was willing to forgive his mate. He found that he definitely liked it that his mate had quite a temper. As long as he wouldn’t overdo it again like this, it promised to be really entertaining.

When Ruka lifted his head and slowly licked over his nose, Kashi heard himself purr. Mmmmmh… that was nice. Seemed like his mate had finally accepted him as alpha-male. Now he only had to stake his claim and then they could go on to much more… pleasant things.

Kashi lowered his head to his mate’s neck and bared his teeth.

-----

Ruka relaxed when he heard Kashi purr but didn’t stop his licks although the taste of the other’s blood wasn’t pleasant at all. Seemed that he was forgiven. He felt really relieved. The thought that he could have made the only one of his kind he knew mad at him had been very upsetting. But now that Kashi wasn’t angry anymore, they could become friends and maybe lie in the sun together.

Ruka jumped a little when Kashi shifted and again a nose was pressed into his neck, but then forced himself to relax again. Kashi probably just wanted to sniff him or inspect the scar on his back. He wasn’t quite sure where he’d got it from but thought it had been something about an attacked kitten maybe or-

When suddenly sharp teeth grazed his tender skin, Ruka’s reflexes kicked in: He hissed, whirled around and clawed at Kashi. That silver bastard! How could he dare to try to bite him?! And there of all places! Did he think that Ruka would let just anybody who happened along claim him, most of all such an arrogant, better-than-thou bully?!

-----

OWOWOWOWOW! Kashi howled in pain and jumped back to save his now twice abused nose. Why had his mate done that?! He’d been so submissive before! Why did he resist him now?

He saw Ruka hiss at him, his fur bristled, his tail twitching agitatedly and his eyes burning menacingly. Kashi frowned. Why was the other so angry? Could it be… that maybe Ruka really didn’t want to become his mate?

Kashi mulled the thought over in his mind. Well, it was possible, but not very likely. But still… Ruka had scratched him… twice even… Ruka didn’t let him claim him… Did that mean…?

Kashi threw another look at the brown one, then sighed when he saw that Ruka’s fur bristled even more and he took a step back. Seemed as if he had to admit it to himself: Ruka didn’t want to be his mate. Boo-hoo…

…

Not yet that was.

Kashi suppressed a smirk. He would be damned if he let that little minx escape his claws. Ruka was his and his alone, and he would do anything to get his paws on him.

Mind made up to try a different tactic on his reluctant mate, Kashi took an apologetic stance, trying to seem as harmless as possible, and approached Ruka slowly.

-----

He was coming again. Ruka hissed when he saw Kashi approach him and took another step back. The other’s stance wasn’t aggressive, but still… Ruka wouldn’t let his guard down. All senses on high alert, he slowly settled down again, ready to jump, eyes still on the silver one coming closer, whole body ready to attack and scratch Kashi’s eyes out if necessary. He would be honeyed if he let himself be bossed around by some stray who thought he could play alpha-male here! He didn’t know what exactly Kashi wanted or why he wanted it from him, but he would so not let anybody just claim him at first sight and then… then… then whatever. No way!

Ruka watched closely as Kashi came nearer until he was only a step away, then settled down next to him. Kashi threw him another apologetic look and yawned hugely, showing off perfect teeth, then stretched and rolled to his side before he closed his eyes, his body going boneless.

Ruka kept watching carefully but couldn’t help it when he relaxed slightly at the picture of pure content the other was giving. And he had to admit that Kashi was a really good-looking one. Apart from great teeth and shiny fur, he didn’t seem to have worms or fleas and seemed to be quite strong, a perfect mate definitel-

But Ruka wouldn’t let himself be claimed! No way!

When Kashi didn’t make any attempt to attack and claim, Ruka allowed himself to relax completely. He inched a little closer towards Naruto-human in hope for some petting and wasn’t disappointed. He purred in bliss.

-----

Ah, Ruka felt quite comfortable around him again. Kashi smirked to himself while he watched his soon-to-be mate through half-lidded eyes. It wouldn’t be hard to seduce the other, he would just do what Prince Petan had done to get Princess Puka in Icha Icha Paradise Volume 7, and then sweet Ruka would be-

…

Kashi frowned deeply. Prince Petan? Princess Puka?? Icha Icha Paradise Volume 7??? What the heck were those… things and why did he-

“What will happen with them while you’re trying to find the antidote?”, Naruto-human interrupted his thoughts.

“Well, they can’t stay in the hospital”, Tsunade-human answered. “Animals aren’t allowed here.”

“Can I take them home with me?!”, Sakura-human squealed, much too delighted for Kashi’s liking.

No way! Young female humans meant being carried around and never being left alone and maybe even getting… Kashi shuddered at the thought. Maybe even getting dressed! He would rather stay with that mean, big Tsunade-human.

“Iruka-sensei comes with me!”, Naruto-human exclaimed and suddenly dragged Ruka to his chest.

Kashi sank his claws into the white cloth beneath him in a sudden onslaught of anger and jealousy. Did that orange human have to touch his intended mate so often?!

“Then I’ll take Kashi!”, Sakura-human chirped.

Oh. No. Kashi hissed and bristled his fur in anger. He wouldn’t go with the pink human! He would go wherever his mate was going! Although he had the sinking feeling that it would mean to live with the loud, bouncy, always-touching-Kashi’s-mate orange human…

“Seems that he’s not very enthusiastic”, Tsunade-human observed.

Kashi snorted and rolled his eyes. Weren’t humans oh-so-clever?

“Oh.” Sakura-human’s smile faltered and Kashi felt a little twang of guilt in his stomach, but then she smiled again. “Don’t you want to come with me, Kashi?”, she cooed. “We could have very much fun.”

Yes, Kashi didn’t doubt that. Only that it would probably be her having the fun at expense of his pride.

“You want to come with me, Kashi, don’t you?”, the pink human purred. “You sure don’t want to go with anybody else?”

Oh, she was giving him the choice. Kashi was a little surprised but mewed happily in response. Then he turned and strolled gracefully towards the orange human and Ruka and settled down in Naruto-human’s lap, blissfully aware of how close he was to his mate.

“Seems he wants to come with me and Iruka-sensei”, Naruto-human murmured.

Sure. Kashi would go with Naruto-human and with that Iruka-sensei-human, too, if it was necessary. As long as he was going where Ruka went, he didn’t care how many humans would be around.

“Oh”, Sakura-human breathed.

Kashi mewed apologetically when he saw the disappointed look on her face. He hadn’t wanted her to be sad, but… He had to make sure to claim his mate before anybody else got the chance to steal Ruka away from him!

“You can visit us whenever you want, Sakura-chan”, Naruto-human offered.

That was a good idea, Kashi had to give him that. That way, he could make his move on his mate and the pink human wouldn’t be so disappointed. Oh look, she was smiling and nodding. Kashi purred. He liked that she wasn’t sad anymore.

That and that she could come now and then and pet and comfort him when Naruto-human was monopolising Ruka again. Kashi was pleased with this outcome.

-----

Ruka huffed. He wasn’t pleased with how this was turning out. If Kashi came with him and Naruto-human, he probably would have to share all the petting. And furthermore, he still wasn’t completely convinced that Kashi had given up his idea of claiming him. Well, at least Sakura-human would come from time to time and get the other occupied. Ruka sniggered to himself. Maybe she would even bring nice little dresses for Kashi…

“Are you sure that you can keep them alive, dope?”, the moody human asked.

Ruka frowned a little. He’d been sure that he’d imagined it earlier, but it seemed that the dark one could really talk, too.

“But sure I can, Sasuke-teme!”, Naruto-human told him indignantly. “I would never let Iruka-sensei die!” He tightened his hold around Ruka, making him gasp for air.

“Alright, brats”, Tsunade-human threw in. “So both go with you, Naruto, and Sasuke and Sakura will help you take care of them.” She snorted. “And now get out of here! I’ve got work to do if you want your senseis back.”

Ruka purred contently while Naruto-human removed Kashi from his lap, then stood up and carried him out of the room. His purr became mischievous when he saw that Kashi was being carried after them by Sasuke-human, both looking like they were competing in looking grumpier than the other.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

“Here it is!” Naruto-human bounced back into the white room with the cold, hard floor.

Kashi looked up, mildly interested in what the human had brought. Hm, a thing. ‘Bottle’, he thought Sakura-human had called a similar one earlier. There were signs on this one, but Kashi couldn’t read them, he didn’t want to either. All he wanted was to get a little nearer to his mate, but Ruka seemed determined to keep a certain distance between them. How was he supposed to seduce his mate like that?!

“Where did you get it?”, Sakura-human asked, then stood up and turned a… thing that was stuck in the outer wall above another, lower wall, as far as Kashi could see. Immediately, water shot out of another thing and flowed down behind the lower wall.

“My neighbour’s got a baby. I borrowed the stuff from her.” Naruto-human bent down to pet Ruka.

Again.

Kashi growled. His mate! No touching!

“Look, Iru- Ruka”, the orange human murmured and showed the bottle to the brown one. “I’ve got baby shampoo for you. It won’t sting in your eyes.”

Not sting in his mate’s eyes? Kashi frowned. What did Naruto-human want with his mate’s eyes? They weren’t for him to touch either!

-----

Not sting in his eyes, hu? Ruka frowned at the ‘bottle’-thing. He wasn’t quite sure what the humans wanted to do with him and Kashi, but he wasn’t really happy with the thought that his eyes would be involved…

“The tub’s full enough now”, Sasuke-human announced.

“Alright.” Naruto-human bent forward and took Ruka up.

Oh, carrying again. Ruka purred. Being carried around by Naruto-human meant being petted by Naruto-human. He liked that.

Hm? Why was his human bending down again? And why was he-

Hey! Ruka wasn’t sure if he wanted that. No, he was quite sure that he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to be set down in the puddle there. It was certainly freezing cold and-

Warm.

Ruka blinked. The water was warm. And clean. And it felt quite nice actually. Maybe sitting in this puddle in the white basin wasn’t that bad after all…

-----

No! No! Bad, Sakura-human! Kashi didn’t want to be set down behind the white wall! Eeeww, and there was water! It was all wet and he definitely didn’t like to get wet and-

Oh. Warm.

Kashi frowned. He still didn’t like to sit in the water. Granted, it was warm and seemed to be clean, but he would rather be where his mate was and-

Oh. Ruka.

Kashi liked to sit in the warm water! Kashi liked to sit in the warm water right in front of Ruka!

-----

Why did Sakura-human have to set Kashi into the puddle, too? Ruka didn’t like to sit so close to the other. What if Kashi tried to bite him again? This basin was really narrow, and Ruka couldn’t see anything he could climb up and escape with.

“And now you have to close your eyes, Ruka”, he heard Sakura-human say.

Close his eyes?! No way! Ruka wasn’t stupid. He would never close his eyes while Kashi was near! Now really, were the humans so dense that they didn’t see in what kind of danger he was?

Warily, Ruka took a step back when Kashi approached him slowly, but then he was caught by two hands on his back and-

Coldcoldcold!

Ruka hissed and tried to claw at the human holding him. Why did they rub this cold… something into his fur? He didn’t like the cold at all!

“I’m sorry, Iruk- Ruka”, he heard Naruto-human say. “Is it very cold?”

Yes, it was. Ruka mewed reproachfully. Stupid human.

“It’ll warm soon. But we have to clean you both, just in case there’s still powder left in your fur.”

Clean? Ruka could clean himself, thank you very much. But this powder Naruto-human talked about… He had heard something about that earlier… Hmmm… Right! Those Iruka-sensei-human and Kakashi-sensei-human had gotten in big trouble because of it.

Ruka mewed and forced his body to relax while his human rubbed the cold something into his fur. He didn’t want Naruto-human to get into trouble.

-----

Kashi watched closely while Naruto-human rubbed something into his mate’s fur, then frowned in concern when that something got bigger and white and bubbly. He wasn’t quite sure if he liked that…

“And now you, Kashi”, he heard Sakura-human announce.

Oh no. Oh no! Kashi tried to escape the pink human’s grip and climb up the white wall, but he slid down again almost instantly. A trap! The humans had trapped him to make him slimy and bubbly!

“Don’t worry, Kashi. I warmed it with my hands first.”

So what? Kashi didn’t want a cold something in his fur and he didn’t want a warm something in his fur. It was his fur, dammit!

Kashi tried to escape once again and jumped up the white wall, but only slid down. He looked around nervously to find another escape, but then caught sight of his mate and froze. Ruka was purring! Ruka was purring and had his eyes closed! While Naruto-human gave him a belly-rub with the something!

Kashi growled deep in his chest. He was the only one allowed to give his mate a belly-rub! He and only he! Naruto-human had no right to-

Urgh!

“See, Kashi”, Sakura-human cooed while she rubbed the slimy stuff into his fur, “it’s not bad.”

Yes, it was bad! It was bad and eew and he didn’t like it and-

…

Well, maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe… maybe it felt kind of nice.

-----

Ruka opened his eyes slowly when Naruto-human stopped rubbing his fur. Was it over already? He liked belly-rubs.

“And now I’ll rinse it out”, his human told him, straightened up and took a long thing on a string from the wall.

Ruka sighed. Seemed the rubbing was already over. He wouldn’t mind getting more…

“Careful. Close your eyes.”

Ruka looked up and saw how Naruto-human turned a knob on the wall again, then water shot out of the thing he was holding. How handy. His human had rain to switch on and off in his lair.

-----

Mmmmmh… it definitely felt nice… Kashi purred in bliss while Sakura-human scrubbed his fur. When he heard something like rain, he looked up and saw Naruto-human hold a stick with water coming out of it. Handy.

“Ruka first?”, Sakura-human asked, then she stopped rubbing Kashi – to his greatest disappointment.

“Yup.” Naruto-human moved the water-stick to his free hand, then frowned. “Stupid plumbing. It’s already cooling… I’ll hurry.” He held the rain over Kashi’s mate.

Kashi looked how the white, bubbly stuff was rinsed out of Ruka’s fur and watched the water flow over his mate’s muscular back. Mmmmh… now that looked nice. His mate was definitely a sight to behold with wet fur…

-----

Nrgh… the water was quite cold. Ruka kept his eyes shut, but still leaned more into the spray. The more water he got onto himself, the sooner he would be done, he hoped. And he felt very good now that his fur was clean.

“And now your head. Keep your eyes closed.”

Ruka mewed when the water flowed over his head. Naruto-human didn’t have to remind him of that. He knew that opening his eyes while under water wasn’t-

Cold. Freezing. Hurt.

Ruka gasped, then coughed a little when he swallowed water. Where had that come from? The water wasn’t freezing cold, it was just a little colder than he would have liked and-

Enemies. Hurt. Fear.

He felt his heartbeat speed up and his breath become ragged. There were… memories, but they weren’t his. Or were th-

Freezing water. Enemies. Many. Fear, so much fear. His friends dead, all dead. Alone.

Ruka couldn’t breathe suddenly. He had to get out of the water! He had to move and get out! He couldn’t breathe!

He couldn’t move.

-----

Hehe… His mate looked funny with the fur of his head pressed flat down. Kashi chuckled softly to himself. And how his ears twitched. It looked really cute, although a little as if-

…

Without further thinking, Kashi jumped forward suddenly and crashed with his head against Naruto-human’s hand holding the water-stick, effectively causing the human to let it fall down. Kashi gasped in pain when the stick landed on his back but ignored it and instead turned around to his mate immediately.

He’d been right. His mate was in fear.

Kashi jumped to Ruka’s side hastily and nudged his head against the other’s. Whatever it was that was frightening his mate, he had to show Ruka that he was safe here. That Kashi would protect him.

-----

Enemies, so many, and he was all alone and his friends were all dead and there were so many enemies and he was hurt and the water was so cold and it was all around him and he couldn’t breathe and he was hurt and he couldn’t move his leg and he was so frightened and he was all alone and he wanted to be home and-

Pain!

Ruka yowled when a sudden sharp pain in his left ear broke his stupor, then jumped up, whirled around and opened his eyes hastily. Between black and white dots before his eyes he saw Kashi look at him worriedly, then the other suddenly punched him into his stomach with his head and threw him onto his back.

Ruka took in a sharp, gasping breath, then another and a third. He saw the spots before his eyes disappear and felt his chest burn from the lack of air.

-----

Kashi leaned over his mate’s head and looked down at Ruka’s chest. When he saw it rise and fall heavily, he let out a sigh of relief. His mate was breathing again.

Still a little tense and worried, Kashi bent his head forward and rubbed it against Ruka’s, then licked the other’s nose, ignoring the unpleasant taste of the white, bubbly something. He had to make sure that his mate stayed with him and didn’t go back to where he’d been just breaths before.

-----

Warmth… warmth against his head, against his nose.

Ruka took another deep breath. He was in Naruto-human’s lair. He was safe. He wasn’t in a cold lake. Nobody was dead. Kashi was with him.

Taking another breath, Ruka rolled until he was on his stomach, then straightened up on shaking legs. He felt Kashi move and then rub his head against him, and the touch managed to calm him down further. It actually felt nice how Kashi rubbed his face into his neck and-

Ruka froze again.

Kashi would bite him! And he didn’t have the strength to defend himself!

-----

Kashi mewed soothingly when he felt his mate stiffen again. Ruka didn’t need to be afraid anymore. He would defend his mate from anything that could hurt him. He wouldn’t let anybody hurt Ruka.

“What happened just now?”, he heard Sasuke-human ask.

“I don’t know.” Sakura-human sounded concerned.

“He didn’t breathe properly. And he was frozen in fear until Kakashi-sensei bit him”, Sasuke-human said. “Those are the typical signs of a shock. But why-”

“I forgot… Iruka-sensei had a mission once”, Naruto-human murmured. “He told me about it. His two team-mates and his sensei were slaughtered before his eyes, and he was thrown into a frozen lake and almost drowned.” The orange human bent down and stroked Ruka’s fur tenderly. “He was twelve”, he whispered. “It was his first mission outside the town.”

“Oh”, Sakura-human breathed.

“I’m sorry, Iruka-sensei”, Naruto-human said softly. “It was too much cold water at once, I guess. I’m sorry.”

Kashi mewed in confusion. He didn’t understand why the humans talked about that Iruka-sensei-human so often. Especially when they should be talking about his mate. Reluctantly, he took a small step away from his mate and mewed angrily. The humans should take care of Ruka, not talk about unimportant things right now!

-----

Ruka frowned in confusion when he felt Kashi step back. Why hadn’t the other bitten him? He could have easily claimed him.

“I’m sorry”, he heard Naruto-human say again but didn’t pay attention to it and instead looked at his silver companion.

Ruka frowned again. Why was Kashi looking so angry? Was he angry at him? But no, Kashi was looking at the three humans. But why was he angry at them? Ruka shook his head. He didn’t understand the other at all, Kashi was a mystery to him. But at least he hadn’t bitten him, and that was good.

Right?

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

Kashi growled. This wasn’t going as planned. Not at all. He’d been under Naruto-human’s… care for the whole sun now and hadn’t had a single breath alone with his mate because the orange human was always bouncing around.

And even worse, the human was determined to spoil Ruka rotten.

It seemed that Naruto-human thought that the brown one couldn’t be bothered to walk towards his food – no, it had to be brought to him. And walking around in the lair? No way, Ruka had to be carried around the whole time. And, in the orange human’s opinion, he certainly couldn’t survive without being petted constantly.

Kashi didn’t like that. Kashi wanted to bring his mate his food and even carry him around. And most of all, Kashi wanted to be the one to comfort his mate.

And no, Kashi wasn’t jealous at all.

He sighed. At least he had a big, fluffy pillow with a nice, soft blanket and he’d gotten food earlier without having to hunt. Or at least something like food… Was food supposed to have much salty water around it, only a little meat and lots of beige, long, thin… things? But it hadn’t tasted as bad as it had looked, and according to the speed Ruka had wolfed down his bowl, his mate liked it very, very much.

Kashi decided to store that information away for later and make another attempt to come close to his mate, if only for some body contact. And maybe a little more licking? He purred. That would be nice…

Gracefully, Kashi stood up from his pillow and walked over to the big, fluffy thing Naruto-human and his mate were sitting on, the ‘couch’ how the orange human had called it. He jumped up and approached them slowly.

“Oh, Kakashi-sen- I mean, Kashi.” Naruto-human grinned at him but didn’t stop petting Ruka who was lying in his lap and purring blissfully.

Kashi did his best not to growl or hiss or simply scratch-the-human’s-hand-off. He was the only one who was allowed to make his mate purr, dammit! And if the orange one didn’t stop scratching Ruka’s neck right now, he couldn’t guarantee for anything. Naruto-human had no right to touch his mate, least of all there! After all, he hadn’t been the one to help Ruka in the white basin! Kashi had protected his mate and had helped him and he was the only one allowed to help him and protect him and touch him!

Dammit!

“Do you want to keep us company?”

Sure he wanted, stupid human. He wanted everything that brought him close to his mate. Kashi swallowed down his anger and instead mewed in consent. Maybe he shouldn’t blame the humans too much for being dense and oblivious. They were only humans after all.

“Then come.” Naruto lifted his arm. “If you both move close, you can lie next to Iruka-s- next to Ruka.”

Now that sounded good. Maybe humans weren’t so dense after all. Kashi mewed in delight and hurried to move closer, then lay down next to his mate, sighing in bliss. When he felt Ruka inch away a little, he scooted back closer, revelling the feeling of his mate’s warm body against his.

-----

Now that was definitely too close for Ruka’s liking. Despite the fact that Kashi hadn’t bitten him when he’d been too weak to defend himself, he still didn’t trust the silver one completely and was very aware of the narrow space that would make it hard to protect his neck.

That and he didn’t like the idea of having to share Naruto-human’s petting.

“Isn’t that nice?”, he heard said human ask. “I’m happy that you’re getting along so well.”

Ruka sighed. Well, if he made Naruto-human happy with it, he would even bear Kashi so close to him. And he had to admit… Kashi had helped him when he’d needed help… and not taken advantage of him… and having a nice, warm body against his wasn’t that bad either…

He sighed again, this time in delight, and closed his eyes. He knew he was a lucky one. He had a very nice human, he’d had incredibly yummy food before and, well… He supposed that he was also lucky to have Kashi around. The silver one had been quite… tolerable the whole sun-move. Maybe they could become friends after all.

-----

Kashi sighed in bliss and snuggled even closer to his mate’s warmth. Sooo nice… and Ruka’s fur was incredibly soft… and he smelled really, really good… Kashi felt himself drift into sleep.

“Oh, it’s late”, Naruto-human’s voice invaded his hazy thoughts. “We should go to sleep now.”

Kashi yawned. That was a really good idea. He would just sleep here where it was warm and then-

Wait a moment!

He lifted his head, a triumphant smirk on his lips. Going to sleep… and there was only one pillow here for them… Kashi mewed happily. He was going to sleep right next to Ruka without anybody else around!

-----

Mmmh… Sleep sounded good right now. Ruka heard Kashi mew his approval next to him and did the same. Maybe he would be allowed to sleep right here? That would be nice…

But no, Naruto-human was squirming. Ruka sighed. Well, the big, fluffy pillow had looked good, too. And it was really big, so he and Kashi would have plenty of-

Oh honey! Did he really have to sleep next to Kashi the whole moon-run?! And what if the other tried something? Something… something… something weird? Ruka didn’t want that! Although he didn’t know at all what that ‘something’ could be and had to admit that maybe he was a little curious, but only maybe and only a tiny little bit and-

“I’ll get you some water in case you’re getting thirsty in the night”, Naruto-human told them, then gently lifted first Kashi, then Ruka up from his lap and onto the couch and stood up.

Ruka threw a glance at his silver companion and got an innocent look in return. He snorted. ‘Innocent’, yeah sure! If only one hair on that smug bastard was innocent, he was no Chuunin and would let Konohamaru and his gang teach his next class of throwing shuri-

Ruka frowned. Now where had that come from?!

“Come on! Lie down here, then I’ll cover you both so you don’t get cold.”

Reluctantly, Ruka stood up and jumped from the couch, then walked over to his human, sensing Kashi right behind himself. What was he going to do? Granted, he could sleep on the couch, but that would be cold and not even nearly as fluffy as the pillow and it would be lonely and there would be no warm body with soft fur next to him and-

What was he thinking?!

-----

Kashi followed Ruka closely, purring in anticipation. He would sleep right next to his mate! The whole moon-run! Kashi was happy!

“Come on, you two”, Naruto-human urged.

Right, right. Kashi nodded in agreement and sped up his pace. The sooner they got onto the pillow, the longer he could enjoy lying next to his mate.

Well, his soon-to-be mate. But that still made Ruka his mate!

For a little breath, Kashi pondered making another attempt to claim Ruka as his during the moon-run, but then shook his head to himself. Even if he managed to really bite the other in his sleep… he knew that it wouldn’t count and most of all, it wasn’t how he wanted it. He wanted Ruka to want to become his mate. He wanted him to want to be claimed. So biting his mate’s neck while he slept was out of question.

Kashi stopped in his walk to the pillow and frowned. When exactly had ‘Kashi wants Ruka to be his mate’ changed into ‘Kashi wants Ruka to want to be his mate’?

Kashi shrugged. However, he was going to spend a whole moon next to the one he’d chosen to become his mate, and that alone was very, very good. Everything else would solve itself the moment he would win Ruka as his mate, so why bother?

Nodding to himself, Kashi jumped up onto the pillow and shifted until he was comfortable, then waited impatiently for Ruka to follow.

-----

Very slowly, Ruka approached the pillow, then climbed up and lay down carefully as far away from Kashi as possible. He just had to be careful not to roll over the edge while he slept, but he could do that by not moving a single muscle, no problem.

“You’ll fall down like that”, he heard Naruto-human tell him, then he felt himself being lifted and laid back down onto the pillow right next to Kashi. “That’s better.”

No, it wasn’t. Ruka dared to glance at his silver companion from the corner of his eye, only to see a positively delighted look on Kashi’s face. Great.

“Now good night, you two.” Naruto-human stroked over both their backs once.

Ruka couldn’t help but growl a little when the caress made Kashi purr softly. That wasn’t right! He should be the one to make Kashi purr! He and he alone! And furthermore-

Ruka blinked. Then blinked again. Oh, he had so not thought that right now! He had thought that… that… that he should be the only one to be petted by Naruto-human! Yeah, right! Just that, nothing else!

But however… He had to either find a way to make sure that Kashi didn’t try something funny or find a place to sleep that wasn’t too cold and uncomfortable. And both possibilities were impossible to-

…

A triumphant grin formed itself on his face. Oh yes, that was simply perfect!

-----

Mmmh… Perfect… Kashi snuggled closer to his mate and closed his eyes. Warm and Ruka and soft and Ruka and smelled good and Ruka and-

Hu?

Kashi opened his eyes when he felt his mate get up and leave the pillow. What was Ruka doing? And why was he following Naruto-human instead of staying with Kashi?

-----

Ruka mewed pitifully and clawed softly at his human’s leg, then mewed again.

“Hm?” Naruto-human stopped in his way through a hole in the wall and looked down. “Something wrong, Iruk- Ruka?”

Ruka mewed again and prodded the leg with his head. He didn’t really like pretending to be cute-scared-helpless-little, but he had to take desperate measures.

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

Ruka mewed enthusiastically. Smart human!

“Hmm…” Naruto-human looked from him to Kashi, then shrugged. “I guess it’s okay. Kaka- Kashi should be fine here on his own.”

Yes! Ruka ran around his human’s legs triumphantly. Now he would be safe from whatever Kashi was planning and he would be warm and comfortable!

-----

NOOOOOOOOOO! Kashi stared at his treacherous mate. How could Ruka choose that human over him?! Had he done something wrong?! He hadn’t even moved his head anywhere near the back of his mate’s neck!

Mewing pitifully, Kashi curled up into a ball and watched sadly as Naruto-human lifted his mate up and carried him into the next room. That wasn’t fair. He’d been so happy to sleep a whole moon next to Ruka and now he had to sleep alone.

Kashi sniffled miserably and curled up even more. So mean, Ruka…

-----

He hadn’t wanted that. Ruka watched miserably how Kashi looked at him longingly. He hadn’t wanted the other to be sad. He’d just been… a little afraid of him.

Ruka pondered going back and crawling onto the pillow next to Kashi again, but then his human separated him from the other room with a big, hard, moving wall.

Sorry, Kashi…

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

tbc

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:
I’m in no Christmas mood this year, so no Christmas fics from me. But I was itching to write something and then figured that I had promised this fic to some people months ago (sorry!), so now seemed to be a good time to finally get it done.
Just in case you were wondering, I am absolutely sure that cats can snigger and smirk and all those things. Or at least that if an animal can do that, it’s a cat. Especially a Kashi-cat or a Ruka-cat.
This story will have four chapters (at least if I manage to stick to my plan this time), all about this length. I hope to get the next one done until New Year at least but I can’t promise anything. (Especially because a friend of mine keeps nagging me about another fic I shall write and why didn’t I start it yet and why did I do this first and so on… Oh, and there’s the job, too.) But anyway, there will be a next chapter, and a third and fourth, too, because I’m determined to stick to my Never-Abandon-A-Story-Policy in 2008, too.
Merry Christmas to all of you and a Happy New Year. I hope you’ll all get many, many wonderful presents and spend a nice and relaxed time with those dear to you.
[EDIT: I just fought ff.net to submit this chapter there. Honestly, I'm thinking of never publishing anything there ever again. This new and oh-so-fancy software they have there doesn't support my internet provider, is ridiculously slow (and that's not the fault of my really, really fast and strong PC, just in case you were wondering) and I can't copy-paste anything into the uploaded files. So, in case I forgot a sentence or something in the AN, I either have to write it there myself or upload the whole document again, even if I have it perfectly written on my PC already. Maybe I'm on a short fuse today but I'm seriously pissed by that.]

Nayru

See That? Mine!

2007-12-07T20:49:59Z

Title: See That? Mine! - Sequel to Mine and Kiss What's Yours
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: IrukaxKakashi
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Iruka suggests to have a little fun in the mission room. Kakashi's surprised but not unwilling. But isn't there something underneath the underneath?
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

See That? Mine!

by nayru_kleinefee

Kakashi hums a little while he makes his way from the main gate of Konoha to the Hokage Tower over the roofs. Despite being S-rank, his mission has gone surprisingly smooth, without him being injured or forced to seriously harm or kill anybody. And now he will even have a whole week off missions to spend in bed. And – what is best – he has his own beautiful, scar-nosed angel to be in his bed with him for most of the time. Yes, Kakashi is happy.

A little hop in his steps, the Copy-nin jumps down from the building next to the Hokage Tower and runs over the street and into the tall building towards the mission room. He knows that his lover will be there on duty and he can’t wait to be welcomed back home by deep brown eyes, gentle hands and delicious lips. Grinning a little lecherously under his mask, he starts making plans for the rest of the evening which will start in about half an hour when his Chuunin’s evening shift will end.

Not that he would mind to start earlier… Kakashi’s grin widens. Having his Ruka in the mission room… having him panting and moaning while bent over the desk… That would be Iruka Fantasy Number Forty-Seven. And Kakashi definitely would like to try to get a Number Forty-Five thrown into it, too – going down on Iruka in the mission room. Mmmh…

But that will most likely, not to say certainly stay a fantasy forever. His Chuunin isn’t fond of risking to get caught while having sex… Not that Kakashi wants that, no, no, never will he allow anybody to see even a tiny little bit more of Iruka’s delicious skin than strictly necessary! But really, he’s not a Jounin for nothing. If he doesn’t want to get caught, he doesn’t get caught, period. But Iruka in the past always didn’t really like that logic. The Copy-nin sighs. Poor him.

But back to the present. Silently opening the door to the mission room, Kakashi peeks inside and smiles when he catches sight of his lover sitting at the desk, alone in the deserted room. Iruka has his chin propped up on his left hand, the elbow on the table, and is looking at the clock on the wall with a frown and a pout. It takes all of the Copy-nin’s willpower not to storm into the room, pounce on his lover and take him right there and then. Seeing his Chuunin pout every time strengthens his suspicion that Iruka is indeed an angel fallen from the sky. Although in the bedroom his lover quite often proves to have at least a little streak of a devil, too…

Schooling his features back to an at-least-innocent-enough look not to be scolded by his lover for fantasising about having sex in the mission room, Kakashi enters and waves at the Chuunin when he looks up. “Yo.”

“Kashi.” A blinding smile spreads on his lover’s face. “You’re back. Are you alright?”

“Everything’s perfect.” Kakashi grins. Now that he is able to hear his Chuunin’s voice finally, he feels completely at home and every trace of tension fades. “Missed you, Ruka, my angel.”

“I missed you, too.” Iruka stands up and walks over to him, then pulls down his mask and kisses him deeply.

“Mmmmh…”, Kakashi sighs and embraces his lover tightly. “Missed that…” Warm and nice and gentle and tender and home and-

“And what else?” His Chuunin grins up at him.

“Want me to tell you?”, Kakashi asks back and nips at his upper lip. God, he is a lucky man. Not only is he back and unharmed, also is his lover in the mood to play.

“What about you show me?”, Iruka whispers into his ear, then licks it slowly before he rather roughly pulls the surprised Copy-nin closer against his chest and bites his earlobe.

“Here?”, Kakashi gasps in surprise. Despite him fantasising about it, he would have never thought of really suggesting to have sex in the mission room, not to speak of his Chuunin suggesting it.

“You don’t want me to skip my shift, now do you?”, Iruka asks, a smirk audible in his voice. “Such a naughty, naughty Copy-nin…” He leans his head back and flashes his lover a playful grin, then snakes his hands under the Jounin’s shirt, stroking the sensitive skin of his back.

“But… but… here?”, Kakashi asks wide-eyed. “Your shift ends in less than half an hour. What if the next one on duty walks in on us?” Despite saying that, he can feel his member react rather enthusiastically to his lover’s low, sex-dripping voice.

“We’ll be quick”, Iruka only declares and moves to get rid of the Jounin’s vest.

“But… but…”, Kakashi stammers, not quite sure when he’s become the one to be hesitant about getting intimate in public places.

“Come on…” His Chuunin bites his jaw gently before he pushes up the Copy-nin’s shirt and crouches down to nuzzle the pale chest with his nose, from his stomach up to the edge of the shirt and back down until barely above the waistband of his pants.

Shivering uncontrollably under the sensation of feeling hot breath wash over his skin, Kakashi is seriously considering to use a jutsu to dispel a possible henge by now. But there is no doubt that it is indeed Iruka in front of him. Talented fingers find all his sensitive places, the addictive smell can only belong to his Chuunin and the Copy-nin can’t believe that anybody other than his lover could have lips even remotely as soft and delicious as those now ghosting over his chest.

“I take it you don’t refuse anymore then?”, Iruka whispers huskily and lifts his head to kiss him deeply, deliciously, promisingly before he pushes the Jounin back against the mission desk and starts nibbling at the side of his neck.

“Iruka”, Kakashi whispers, desperately trying to get his thoughts back in order and his spinning head down from the high the kiss has sent him to. “What if somebody comes in here?” Despite his words, he is almost at the point to not give a damn anymore, and he knows that if his Chuunin keeps moving his groin against him like that only a little longer, he soon won’t be able to even remember anymore what he’s been worrying about. And if Iruka only could nibble a little lower, there where the invisible mark of his claim on him is, then he would-

Oh god, almost… almost… please… oh hell, lower, plea-

He feels Iruka’s teeth against his neck in what has to be a smirk, then his lover leans his head back. “Kashi…”, he almost whines before he lowers his head slightly, looks up at the dazed Copy-nin from beneath his eyelashes and pouts. “You’re so reluctant… Don’t you want me?”

“Gnh!”, Kakashi gasps and instantly crushes his lips on his lover’s. His beloved Chuunin’s pout is something he just can’t resist, no matter how hard he tries. There is only so much a man can take, and those lips in a pout definitely are too much.

“You sure?”, he pants when he breaks the kiss for much needed air although he by now isn’t sure at all anymore whether he would be able to stop even if Iruka told him to. Desperate to feel his lover’s skin on his, he tugs at the Chuunin’s vest until the resisting cloth finally surrenders. Iruka’s shirt however doesn’t have as much luck and ends in shreds, mirroring the Copy-nin’s patience.

“Yesss”, Iruka whispers into his ear, then yanks the Jounin’s shirt over his head and off. He grins. “Besides, Genma’s got the next shift. He’s never come less than twenty minutes late yet.”

“Good”, Kakashi groans, half at the information and half at feeling Iruka’s warm skin on his chest finally. He moves his hands down his lover’s back and grips his rear hard, forcing his groin to rub against his own.

“Aaaren’t… we eager…”, his Chuunin pants with a smirk on his lips, then swiftly pinches his left nipple hard before he licks the spot, that spot, his spot, between the Copy-nin’s left shoulder and neck.

“Ah!”, Kakashi gasps, then once again when Iruka suddenly opens his pants and takes him in his hand.

“I know you fantasised about this…”, he whispers into the Copy-nin’s ear while he slowly starts to stroke him. “I found your list some weeks ago…” Iruka grins lecherously. “Number Forty-Four, isn’t it?”

“F-forty-Sev-ven…”, Kakashi pants, surprised and amused and delighted about his lover’s reaction to his fantasies. “Having y-you… in the mission… room…” Oh yes, he is lucky, so unbelievably lucky to have such a playful-

“Oh, I wasn’t talking about that.” And then suddenly Iruka kneels down and takes him in his mouth.

“Oh- oh my…” And all he can do is desperately grab for the desk behind him and then hold onto it for dear life. Oh god, Forty-Four, Forty-Four.

Oh, and Forty-Four is even better than he’s ever imagined, and Iruka… damn, he always forgets how good his Chuunin is with his mouth, how easily Iruka can make him whimper and beg and shout and tremble, how quickly he can have him completely at his will.

“And now…”, Iruka breathes against his shuddering skin and lets go of him despite the Jounin’s protesting whimper, “and now Forty-Six.”

And Kakashi dies right there and then.

“Turn around”, his lover orders while he stands up again. “Now.”

“Yes…” The Jounin obeys on shaking legs and places his hands on the mission desk. Oh god, oh god, he will get Forty-Six!

“Your little list was rather inspiring…”, his lover whispers into his ear, and Kakashi can feel his erection press into his still clothed butt. “We have to try some more of your ideas soon…” And then he licks the Jounin’s special spot again and turns him into trembling, absolutely pliant putty in his hands.

“Please…”, Kakashi whispers and desperately rubs his behind against his lover’s groin. “Please, just… I need you…” He doesn’t care about lists anymore, or numbers or ideas, he only needs Iruka now, deep inside him. It has been long, too long, since the Chuunin has claimed him the last time.

“Be patient…”, Iruka chuckles in his ear, then the Copy-nin sees his hand reach out for the drawer of his desk, open it and take out a little tube. The Chuunin somehow manages to open it one-handedly while his other hand impatiently tugs down Kakashi’s pants and boxers to his knees, and the Jounin moans when he feels the rough cloth of his lover’s pants scratch over his tender skin.

“Iruka, please…”, he whispers and spreads his legs wider, leans his body forwards more, anything, anything to make him go faster.

“So wanton…” Iruka laughs huskily and kisses along the Jounin’s spine. “I love to see you like this, so needy and willing…” And then he touches his lover’s opening with slick, slightly cold fingers, making him shudder violently and moan.

“Nh!”, Kakashi gasps when he feels two fingers enter him and can’t keep his muscles from tensing at the invasion. And it hurts, much, but it’s still all he wants.

“Oh, my baby”, Iruka whispers softly, all teasing gone suddenly, and kisses his tense back. “It’s been a while, hm?” He slowly, carefully pushes his fingers deeper.

“A… little…”, Kakashi pants, then his lips form a strained grin. “And they… call me… ‘lazy’…”

“What do you mean?”, Iruka whispers and carefully twists his fingers inside him while his other hand gently massages the Jounin’s upper thigh, teasingly avoiding his aching erection.

“If people knew that… you like it best to lie on… your back and let me… lift your legs over my shoulders and take… you…” Kakashi gasps a laugh. “They would never… call me ‘lazy’ ever again…” But hell, is Iruka hot like that, in this supposedly submissive position but with his eyes flashing demandingly every time the Copy-nin doesn’t give him exactly what he wants, doesn’t move as fast, as hard, as slowly, as tenderly as he wants him to. And he’s every time more than willing to just take what he wants, to flip them over suddenly and ride his lover just the way he wants to in case Kakashi teases him too much or makes him wait too long or simply doesn’t obey.

“Is it my fault that you’re so damn good at fucking me senseless?”, his Chuunin asks softly, a smirk audible in his voice.

“Irukaaa…”, Kakashi moans, shuddering. His lover rarely uses such language, and hearing him say things like these in such a polite, serious, completely calm voice… “P-please…”, he whimpers in a trembling voice.

“So I’m lazy, hm?”, Iruka murmurs, then adds a third finger and before his lover can even feel the pain, pushes in deeper and-

“Yes!”, Kakashi shouts helplessly. “Yes, there, Iruka!” Oh god, oh god, there, right the-

“And what if I’m too lazy to give you what you want?” The Chuunin mercilessly pushes against his prostate once again, hard. “What if I’m too lazy to take care of you?”

“N-no…”, Kakashi whimpers desperately. “Please…” He can’t stand it anymore, can’t wait anymore, needs Iruka now.

“Shh…” His Chuunin laughs softly. “Don’t worry…” He leans forward, pushes his fingers deeper once again and licks over Kakashi’s sweet mark. “I could never resist you…” And then he leans back, gently pulls his fingers out and the Jounin feels knuckles brush over his buttocks.

“Iruka… hurry…”, he pleads softly and spreads his legs as wide as he can with his pants around his ankles, inviting and urging his lover to finally, finally claim him, take him.

“Yes, we don’t have much time, do we?” Iruka chuckles into his ear, then gently parts his buttocks with one of his hands. “Don’t want to get caught, hm?”

“N-no…” Not knowing at all and caring even less what his Chuunin is talking about, Kakashi grips the desk harder and presses his body back when he feels his lover’s hard arousal at his opening finally, then gasps when Iruka slips inside. “Ha! Iruka…” It hurts and stings and burns and feels so good, and he needs more, more, deeper and harder and-

“Mh… Kakashi…”, his Chuunin pants back. “S-so tight…” He wraps his arms around the Copy-nin’s waist, hands on his chest, and slowly pulls him up against his body, still pushing deeper and deeper. “Damn…”, he moans when he’s finally inside completely. “I almost forgot… how good this feels… You and your… stupid, perfect skills…”

“Never heard you… complain before…” Kakashi laughs breathlessly, his whole body aching and trembling in need and arousal. “Now move…”

“Just… a little-”

“Move.” Kakashi rolls his hips, unable to wait any longer, now that he finally has what he wants. “Iruka, now.” He moans when his lover’s member brushes over his prostate and the touch sends a deliciously throbbing ache into his erection.

Iruka doesn’t answer, just moves his right hand up until he can take the Jounin’s chin and tilt his head to the right, then bites his special mark and thrusts.

“Yesss!”, Kakashi hisses and forcefully pushes his hips back on his Chuunin’s next thrust. He strains his neck to turn his head around as much as possible and tries to kiss his lover.

“So… damn… good…”, Iruka pants, tilts his head and kisses him deeply before he leans forward more, pushing the Copy-nin’s body down, and sets a hard, fast pace for them, each thrust aimed perfectly, perfectly.

“Yes… Iru… ka… I- ah! You… ha…” Kakashi throws his head back and arches his body while he feels his lover hit his prostate again and again and again, sending him into reeling arousal. Feeling his muscles tremble and his skin prickle, he moves his right hand from the table to wrap it around his begging erection and-

“No”, Iruka hisses and swiftly bats the hand away with his right. “Mine”, he growls and grabs the Jounin’s member, squeezing hard.

“Iruka!” Kakashi loses his hold on the desk and thus hangs limply in his lover’s arms for a moment before he finds the strength to push himself up again. He moans deep in his throat when Iruka doesn’t stop stroking him, thrusting into him, hitting his prostate every time and sending him deeper and deeper into helplessly shuddering arousal.

“Damn… Kaka… shi…” Iruka bites his back, his shoulder blade, his neck, every bite a little sting, a little throb of pleasure. “Al… most…”

“Yes”, Kakashi whispers. “Yes… Iruka…” He uses the last of his strength to clench his muscles and grins when he hears his lover groan at that.

“You… little… minx…”, Iruka whispers breathlessly and quickens his pace, stroking and rubbing and thrusting faster and deeper and harder.

“Your… minx…”, Kakashi pants back, then yelps when his Chuunin squeezes him again.

“Indeed…” Iruka bites his sweet mark gently, then nibbles it until Kakashi’s arms once again shake uncontrollably and he almost collapses on the desk, only barely being held up by his lover’s arms and his own trembling ones.

“Aah… Iruka…”, he pants, feeling his stomach starting to tighten and his hands clenching to fists. “Iruka, I-”

“I love you”, his lover whispers suddenly, “Kakashi, I love you… so much… my beloved…”

Kakashi comes. His world explodes in blinding pleasure and suddenly there’s nothing, nothing except Iruka shouting his name, filling him with his warm semen and clutching him to his chest. And then he feels all strength leave his body and himself being laid down tenderly on the desk and Iruka lying down on him, both their panting breaths in sync and the only noise in the world.

“God…”, he hears his lover pant softly after a while, “god, Kakashi…”

“Mmmh…”, the Jounin just hums back contently. He can feel his mind still being in that nice, cozy place far, far away, that place where there are only him and Iruka and that he is sent to every time Iruka takes him, claims him, makes him his.

“I’m not sure I can stand on my own just now”, Iruka whispers breathlessly.

“I’ll hold you”, Kakashi whispers back. He would chuckle but hasn’t enough breath to do it.

For some moments, they just stay like that, Kakashi half lying on the mission desk and Iruka on him, still inside him, until – far too soon for the Jounin’s liking – Iruka straightens up slowly.

“Gnh”, Kakashi gasps softly when his lover slides out of him. Ouch…

“Hurts?”, Iruka whispers and soothingly strokes over his sweaty back.

“M-mh.” The Copy-nin shakes his head and straightens up slowly, wincing. Okay, maybe a little.

“Liar”, his lover accuses lovingly before he gently, carefully cleans his butt, groin and thighs with something Kakashi can’t see. Then his hand comes in sight, cleans the table from his semen with a handkerchief and disappears again. “Turn around to me, okay?”

Kakashi does as whished but winces again when he carelessly leans his butt against the desk. Alright, maybe it hurts more than just a little.

“Come here.” Iruka crouches down to pull up the Jounin’s boxers and pants before he stands up again, embraces him and then slowly turns them both around until he is leaning against the desk and Kakashi has his back towards the door and can lean against his lover’s chest.

“Mmmh…”, he sighs and wraps his arms around his Chuunin’s waist. “Nice, my angel.”

“Isn’t it?”, his lover laughs softly. “And I know something to make it even better.” He slides his hands into the back of Kakashi’s still open pants and cups both buttocks gently.

“Oh, a butt massage”, the Jounin jokes. “That’s indeed nice.”

“I have something even better”, Iruka whispers, then removes his hands and Kakashi feels him move them behind his back before they’re back on his skin again, tingling pleasantly now while they slip under the cloth of his boxers and onto his buttocks again.

“What’re you doing?”, he asks curiously. Whatever it is, it feels really good. Really, really good.

“Learned a new jutsu recently.” Iruka kisses him sweetly. “Should come in handy.” His hands slide over the Jounin’s skin, over both buttocks to the cleft between them. The tingling tickles on the skin and makes Kakashi squirm slightly in delicious pleasure. He just wants to ask what exactly his lover is doing with him when one of the hands slides deeper, towards his opening, and he feels two fingers caressing the tender skin there.

“Oh”, Kakashi breathes, almost moans. This feels good, so very, very good. The tingling is sending little, gentle waves of pleasure through him and now even eases the pain until it isn’t more than a faint, dull throb, almost nothing.

“Like that?”, Iruka whispers, smirking.

“Mmmh…”, Kakashi sighs, then frowns in slight disappointment when his lover removes his fingers and lets his hands rest on his buttocks again, without the tingling sensation. But the pain stays soothed. And this is so handy, really, although he wonders wh-

“Where did you learn that?”, he asks quickly, trying not to growl the question. But who the hell taught something like that to his Chuunin, huh? Who dared to-

“Shh, my love…” Iruka smiles softly and shakes his head. “You know I’m yours and yours only, don’t you?”

“I… yes…” Kakashi hides his face in his lover’s neck sheepishly. “‘m sorry”, he mumbles against the skin, then licks it lightly.

“Listen, love.” Iruka starts to massage his buttocks gently. “Anko taught me a jutsu against sore muscles after I helped her move and carried her furniture into the fourth floor a week ago. I just gave it a little thought and modified it slightly. Alright?”

“M-hm…” Kakashi lifts his head and kisses his Chuunin softly. “Okay. But only if you promise to only use it on me. And that very often.”

“Promise.” Iruka smirks. “I take it you’re pleased with it?”

“Very.” Kakashi kisses him again before he nuzzles his throat contently. “Show me later?”

“But sure.” His Chuunin grins at him while he rubs his buttocks a little harder but still gently. “I really wonder how many of your thousand jutsus are designed for sex…”

“Not that many. But I’ll show you every one of them”, Kakashi chuckles. “I think I could modify some more even and-”

The sound of the door opening makes him freeze instantly. What- Who-

Mission room. Shit!

“Hey, Iruka-sensei. As you see, I’m on time to-” A gasp.

Kakashi hides his maskless face deeper in his Chuunin’s neck, feeling himself blush from embarrassment and anger. No! No! Why does that bastard have to come on time just this one day?! God, Iruka will be completely smashed from embarrassment and probably refuse to ever again have sex anywhere else except their bedroom and-

“Genma-san”, he hears his lover say calmly. “Would you please turn around so we can get dressed?”

“I… you…”

“Genma-san… Turn around?”, Iruka repeats without taking his hands out of his lover’s pants, even without stopping his massage.

Kakashi frowns deeply. Either his lover has suddenly lost all inhibitions – which is so not possible – or the man currently talking isn’t his Chuunin at all – which isn’t possible either, now really. But still it has to be one of those because the only other possibility is…

Naa.

“Thanks a lot”, Iruka says when Kakashi hears shuffling from the door, then his Chuunin whispers softly, “You can dress now, Kashi”, before he gently zips and buttons up his lover’s pants, takes a step back and goes to retrieve both their clothes from the floor.

Kakashi stands there motionlessly, staring at his Chuunin’s calm, unhurried movements. But his lover wouldn’t…

“What’s wrong, Kashi?”, Iruka asks. “Hurry up and get dressed so we can go home.” The last word has an utterly promising and seductive undertone.

Dazedly, Kakashi takes his shirt and mask from his lover’s hands and slowly puts them on again, watching his Chuunin slip quickly into his torn shirt without any sign of a blush on his face. But he can’t… There is no way Iruka has-

‘He’s never come less than twenty minutes late yet.’

Kakashi blinks.

“You’re early, Genma-san”, Iruka says softly.

“You… you told me to come on time…”, Genma stammers.

“Every day for the last two years. That never made you”, the Chuunin points out while he opens a window.

‘He’s never come less than twenty minutes late yet.’

Kakashi blinks again. But Iruka hasn’t…

“You said you would shave me bald in my sleep if I ever came late again”, Genma says, but Kakashi only half registers hearing the words while he keeps his eyes fixated on his Chuunin.

“Oh.” Iruka smiles softly, dangerously. “I completely forgot about that.”

“You were quite insistent”, Genma tells him. “I really wonder how you could forg-” His eyes widen and he falls silent.

‘He’s never come less than twenty minutes late yet.’

Not: ‘He never comes less than twenty minutes late.’

Kakashi’s eyes widen just as the Special Jounin’s. Iruka has!

“We’re terribly sorry for the inconvenience, Genma-san”, the Chuunin assures just then. “If we had known that you would walk in on us, we would have never done anything. In here, I mean.” His voice is still perfectly calm in his lover’s ears, but his eyes hold a challenge, a dare, a threat.

“No, Iruka-sensei”, the Special Jounin forces out through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry for… for not…”

“For not being on time earlier?”, Iruka offers. “That’s no problem, Genma-san. I’m sure that you know now what time it is.”

“Yes.” Genma turns abruptly and sits down on the chair the farthest away from Kakashi and his Chuunin. “I know.”

“Perfect.” Iruka smiles brightly before he turns towards the Copy-nin. “What about we go home now, Kashi?”, he asks and hands him his vest, then takes his hand.

Kakashi only nods, then follows his Chuunin out of the room and through the hallway, his mind still both on reeling speed and completely stunned.

“Would you like to grab some takeout on our way home?”, he hears Iruka ask. “Or do you want me to cook some-”

Kakashi chooses that exact moment to get his bearings back together, slams his Chuunin’s back against the wall of the hallway, yanks down his mask and crushes their lips together in a deep, hard kiss. He feels Iruka wrap his arms around his neck instantly, then his lover’s legs around his waist.

“You…”, Kakashi pants after he’s reluctantly released his Chuunin’s lips, their bodies still deliciously close against each other, “you took… advantage of me…”

“I didn’t hear you… complain earlier…”, Iruka pants back, grinning, before he melts their lips together again and uses his hold on the Copy-nin’s waist to move his groin against the Jounin’s.

“You know I’m… not very aware of… my surroundings after… you take me…”, Kakashi accuses breathlessly, thrusting forwards forcefully with his hips.

“I know.” His lover smirks. “You can only be well-aware or well-fucked.”

“You…” Kakashi bites his jaw hard, making him gasp. “You knew I wouldn’t sense Genma and took advantage of that.” And the thought makes him harder and harder now.

“What if I did?” Iruka looks at him defiantly. “I told him that you’re mine again and again and again, and still he was looking at you too often. With that look in his eyes.” He leans his head forward, pulls down the Jounin’s vest over his left shoulder and bites the tender, sensitive skin of his mark hard through the shirt.

“And that gives you the right to love me up in front of him?”, Kakashi gasps when waves of pleasure wash through him at the bite. But yes, it does. It does so much. And he will let his lover do it again every day from now on if the Chuunin wishes, as long as he will always want to stake his claim on the Copy-nin.

“Not in front of him.” Iruka glares at him. “I will never let him see you the way you look then”, he growls, then bites him again. “Never.”

“So you had everything planned, even the time, even how we stood when he came in…” Kakashi grins and rocks his hips against his lover’s hard. “Such a devious little angel I have here.” And he is his, his devious little angel, only his.

“So you’re angry at me now?”, Iruka whispers and bites his lower lip playfully, then leans forward and kisses him slowly, sensually.

“Yes.” Kakashi returns the kiss hungrily, pressing his Chuunin even more against the wall. He really is a little angry – angry at himself for being played, angry at Iruka for playing him. And, god, he is pleased with all of that, with having a jealous, possessive, demonic angel all to himself, and he is hard, so hard that he wants nothing more than to take said angel right here and now, no matter who could walk in on them this time.

“Will you take revenge on me?”, Iruka asks and kisses him again, then he looks into the Copy-nin’s single visible eye, suddenly all big, round eyes, pouting lips and shy, bashful innocence, and whispers, “Please not, I promise I will do anything you want to make you forgive me. Even… even Twenty-Seven. Or Fifty-Three. Or…” A devilish smirk appears on his lips and threatens to ruin his act but he quickly catches himself and is back to ‘innocent, cute, very fuckable Chuunin’ in no time. “Or Fifty-One.”

Kakashi almost takes him right there and then. As it is, the only thing making him wait just a little longer and jutsu them home first is the knowledge that there are soft ropes and warming lube under their bed.

Oh yes, they will so do Fifty-One, and not only once.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:
Sorry for the long wait, I know I promised this much earlier, but I have much work to do at the moment. I still try to find time to write something and I’m working on some things right now, but I can’t even guess when I’ll manage to get something done.
Anyway, I hope this was worth the wait still. I have two more ‘sequels’ planned, but they’re nowhere near finished, sorry. I’ll do my very best.

Nayru

Not Gone, Just Busy

2007-12-05T18:06:32Z

Only a little sign from me. My new job's a hell of paperwork, my head's spinning all the time... and I hardly find time to write anymore. But anyway, I'm trying and I've almost finished the third part for the kind-of series I started with 'Mine' and 'Kiss What's Yours'. I only need to do some editing and then I'll hopefully be able to post it soon.
Nayru

Your Wish Is My Command, Chapter 6

2007-10-30T18:44:33Z

Title: Your Wish Is My Command
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: NC-17 for later chapters
Summary: Iruka gets hit by a jutsu and is left unable to make a decision on his own. When someone to look after him is searched, Kakashi can’t flee fast enough. Poor him?
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for the events before the time-skip.
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

Your Wish Is My Command

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 6

“I’m sorry that you had to wait so long for the invitation, Genma-san.” Iruka smiled at the Special Jounin.

“Please don’t worry about that, Iruka-sensei.” Genma grinned, looking a little strained. “I had the flu, too.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that and- Oh, Kakashi, could you stop that? Hinata-chan certainly wouldn’t like to hear about this.”

The Jounin did his best to look oblivious. “Stop what?”

Iruka sighed. “Maiming, mangling, squashing, slaughtering your piece of cake. Which Hinata-chan made herself.”

“I’m eating”, Kakashi assured, feeling a little guilty. The sweet little girl had been beaming when she’d brought the cake.

“Yeah, sure.” Iruka snorted softly. “And you have to look as if somebody stole your Icha Icha while doing that.”

“I’m eating”, Kakashi mumbled. And no, nobody had stolen his Icha Icha. But Genma was stealing his time with Iruka.

“Oh, dear…” Iruka chuckled. “Anyway, I’m going to make new tea. Please excuse me, Genma-san.” He stood up and walked towards the door to the kitchen. “Oh, Kakashi, would you help me, please?”

“Alright.” The Copy-nin stood up, forced his fork into the last bigger piece of his cake with a glare at the paling Genma and followed Iruka.

“Trying to look scary again?”, the Chuunin asked softly the moment the door closed.

“It was ‘menacing’.” Kakashi pouted.

“Trying to look menacing again?” Iruka turned to him and shook his head.

“No.”

“Sure…” Iruka chuckled and embraced him. “You’re driving me a little nuts right now. Can’t you believe that Genma only made a mistake?”

“That’s not the point…” Kakashi nuzzled his face into the Chuunin’s neck.

“Not?” Iruka sighed but tilted his head to give him better access. “Then can you at least be a little less menacing? And try to be nice to Genma? I really can’t see him fidget anymore whenever you move your fork.”

“I can try…” Kakashi looked up and pressed his mask lips on Iruka’s.

“I could reward you for being nice…” Iruka smirked. “Although I know I shouldn’t.”

“What kind of reward?” Kakashi grinned.

“Mmmmh…” Iruka licked his lips. “What would you like me to do?”

“Ah… let me think…” Uh-oh, dangerous ground.

“Better think fast.” Iruka gently bit his jaw. “The water’s almost boiling.”

Yes, the water too. Kakashi cleared his throat. “Apple pancakes.”

Iruka blinked. “Apple pancakes?”

“With vanilla sauce.” That would be at least the second best thing he could think of.

The Chuunin started to laugh. “You’re rather… peculiar.”

“And chocolate chips on them.”

“Hey!” Iruka laughed more. “That’s enough now.”

“Okay.” Kakashi tightened his hold around him. Enough, indeed.

----- ----- -----

“Iruka?”

“M-hm?” The Chuunin turned with a smile.

“Iruka…” Kakashi sighed. “I’m sorry, but I have to go on a mission.”

“You… oh.” The smile vanished.

“It’s very important that I go, Iruka”, Kakashi told him softly and embraced him. “Tsunade-sama has to send me.” He would have to rescue three hostages from their captors before the ultimatum would run out.

“I understand.” Iruka hugged him. “Do you have to leave soon?”

“Right now. I’m sorry.” Kakashi kissed his hair.

“Don’t be sorry, there’s no reason for that. We’re both shinobi.” Iruka sighed. “Please come back safe.”

“I promise that I will do my best to come back to you.”

“I promise I’ll be here waiting for you”, Iruka answered and looked up, a small, warm smile on his lips. “Now kiss me goodbye and leave before I change my mind and lock you up in my bedroom.”

“I will use that excuse the next time I’m late for something.” Kakashi grinned and leaned in to kiss him softly. “Wait for me.”

“I will.” Iruka nuzzled his nose one last time.

-----

“Hey, boss.”

“Pakkun.” Kakashi sat up in his sleeping bag. “How is Iruka?”

“He’s alright. Your ‘Eternal Rival’ is watching over him.” Pakkun rolled his eyes, indicating clearly what he thought about green, youthful Jounin.

“Did he-”

“Yes, he sends a message for you.” The pug rolled his eyes again. “He says, I quote, ‘Tell Kakashi to come back to me soon.’ Puppy eyes. ‘And that I miss him.’ Wide eyes and waving hands. ‘Or no, don’t tell him that I miss him, he would only worry.’ Frown. ‘Tell him… tell him I’m fine and can’t wait to have him back.’ Smile, then pout. ‘And that I will kill Gai-sensei if he says that I’m ‘his Eternal Rival’s most important mission to accomplish in the Springtime of his Youth’ one more time.’ More pouting.”

Kakashi laughed softly. “My poor Iruka.”

“Yes, indeed.” Pakkun shook his head. “So, what do you want me to tell ‘your poor Iruka’?”

“Oh, there’s no need for that. I’ll be with him the day after tomorrow anyway, probably around morning.” Kakashi grinned. He’d successfully completed his mission in record time since he’d been very motivated to do so. And now he would take another well-earned nap and then hurry back into Iruka’s apartment and arms.

“But sure you’ll want to tell him that.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Kakashi shook his head. “It’s possible that I’ll get delayed and then he would only worry. I will better surprise him.”

“Oh. But then you certainly want to send him your… I don’t know, some sappy declarations or something?”

“I’m never sappy”, Kakashi declared. “And I don’t know why that’s any of your concern and-” He broke off and looked at the pug suspiciously. “You know, you seem awfully anxious to get back to Iruka…”

“Me?” Pakkun looked at him, eyes big and innocent. “You’re imagining things, boss.”

“Spill”, Kakashi ordered.

“Really, boss, there’s nothing t-”

“Spill.”

“Self-made hamburgers for dinner”, Pakkun confessed.

“Greedy little-”

“And Iruka-sensei asked if I wanted to stay the night. He said he feels lonely without you.” Pakkun flinched. “And then he said that I shall not tell you that he does.”

“Oh”, Kakashi breathed. “Iruka feels lonely without me?”

“Yes, boss.”

Kakashi mentally calculated the distance from his position to Iruka’s apartment. “Go back to him and keep him company”, he ordered then while he started to pack his things. “I should be there somewhere around tomorrow afternoon and evening, but don’t tell Iruka in case I don’t make it till then.”

-----

“Back. Mission accomplished. Report tomorrow. Going to see Iruka”, Kakashi said hastily the moment he entered the office, already turning around again to jump back out of the window.

“Better don’t be late, brat!”, he heard Tsunade shout after him.

-----

“Yo, Gai”, Kakashi greeted while he hastily yanked off his stiff vest. “Thanks for taking care of Iruka for me. Bye, Gai.”

“My Eternal Rival! I-”

“Bye, Gai.” Kakashi shoved him out of the door rather roughly, then slammed it shut. “Bye, Pakkun.”

“Sure, boss.” The pug snorted and left in a cloud of smoke.

“Kakashi!”, Iruka scolded. “That’s- Gah!”

“Missed you”, the Jounin whispered and tightened the embrace even more until he heard him gasp for breath. “Missed you, Iruka.”

“Mi… missed you, too”, the Chuunin gasped.

“Mmmh...” Kakashi let go a little to nuzzle his face into Iruka’s neck. “Mmmmmh...” Perfect, so perfect. He’d missed this so much.

“Kakashi”, Iruka whispered softly. “Welcome back. I’m happy that you’re with me again.” He tilted his head to kiss the Copy-nin’s temple, then gently pulled down his mask.

“Me too.” Kakashi embraced him tighter and happily invited the Chuunin’s tongue inside his mouth, then purred into the kiss when hands gripped his hair.

“You purr”, Iruka laughed. “Hatake Kakashi, famous Copy-nin, purrs.”

“So what? I bet you purr, too.” Mmmh… Iruka purring…

“Never!”

“Is that so?” Kakashi grinned. “I bet I can make you purr.” He walked forward slowly until the Chuunin’s back hit the wall of the living room, then leaned his head forward to nuzzle his throat.

“Mmmh…”, Iruka sighed. “That’s nice… but it won’t make me purr…”

“We’ll see.” Kakashi nuzzled his neck, then his ear and afterwards chewed on the lobe. This brought to him more sighs and a little gasp, but no purr. Damn.

“Do that again”, Iruka whispered breathlessly and lifted one of his legs to stroke it up and down over the Jounin’s.

“Only if you purr.” Kakashi nipped at the ear one last time before he moved his mouth to lick the shell slowly, deliberately. But this was not good enough. He had to get Iruka into a better position to find a way to make him purr.

“Mmh… Whoa!”, Iruka gasped when Kakashi first gripped his buttocks, then lifted him up. The Chuunin wrapped his legs around his waist and laughed softly while he was carried towards the bedroom.

“There’s nothing to laugh about”, Kakashi told him while he carefully laid him onto the bed. “I’ve not given up yet.” A rather small part of his mind was trying to tell him that this probably was Not A Good Idea, but he did his best to ignore it. He wouldn’t do anything… drastic, he was just making up for the time he had been away on that mission.

“I’m not going to purr”, Iruka declared, grinning.

“We’ll see.” Kakashi lay down on him and buried his face on the side of the Chuunin’s neck, nuzzling, nipping and kissing the tender skin there while his hands slowly massaged Iruka’s strong chest through his shirt. He’d missed this so much, to hold Iruka close, to touch him, to smell him, to taste him.

Iruka gasped and moaned softly, and even gave a little whimper at a slightly more forceful nip on his throat. Kakashi could feel shivers run through the body beneath his own, and then the Chuunin wrapped his arms around him and gently lifted his head by his hair to kiss him deeply, closing his eyes while Kakashi did the same.

“Kakashi…”, Iruka sighed, his breath caressing the Jounin’s lips and face and making him open his uncovered eye. “Please… make love to me.”

Kakashi froze completely.

“Kakashi?” Iruka opened his eyes. “Kakashi?”

He couldn’t do that. He wasn’t allowed to do that. Kakashi looked at Iruka’s face, flushed and oh-so-perfect, and swallowed hard. He couldn’t do that.

“Kakashi.” Iruka lifted his hands and placed them on the Jounin’s cheeks. “What’s wrong?”

Wrong? Wrong?! Everything, everything was wrong, because he wanted to make love to Iruka so very, very much, but that would be wrong. But he still wanted it, wanted to make Iruka his.

“Kakashi”, Iruka whispered softly and stroked over his face soothingly, tracing the edge of his headband still hiding his left eye. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I… I can’t”, Kakashi choked out and desperately embraced the Chuunin to clutch him against his body while he hid his face in his neck. “I can’t make love to you.”

“But why n-”

“I can’t risk to hurt you, Iruka. I can’t risk to take advantage of you again. I can’t be sure that what I do is right, but still I can’t stop it, and I keep doing things that I know are wrong, but I can’t help it. I can’t… I… I…” Kakashi felt that he was breaking down there and then, the fear and insecurity and tension of the last weeks together with the slight fatigue from the mission finally becoming overwhelming.

“I want it”, he whispered, “I want it so much. But I can’t, Iruka, I can’t, I’m not allowed to. I can’t be sure that you want it, that you don’t only think you want it because you feel that I want it, that I need it. I need you, so much, so very much. I need you looking at me like you do and talking to me like you do and caring about me like you do, and I need to feel this, all of this, but I can’t be sure that you want it, too, and that… and that…” He gasped for a strangled breath.

“I need you, Iruka. I need you and I want you and I can’t stand the thought that I might hurt you and that I might make you sad and that you might leave me because of that. I want you and I want you to want me back and I want… I… I want you and… I only want you, only-” He broke off and once again felt his whole body freeze.

No. No, please. He hadn’t wanted to do that, to say that. And he didn’t want to see those eyes, those wonderful eyes empty. He didn’t want to see Iruka empty and-

“But I want it, Kakashi. I want you, only you.”

Kakashi’s eyes opened wide.

“I’ve already wanted you before the jutsu affected me. And now I want you even more, and I need you, too, and-”

“Say it again”, Kakashi whispered.

“I need you, Kakashi”, Iruka whispered back.

“Say… say the word again. Please.” He didn’t move, not a single muscle, his body so tense that it hurt all over.

“I-” A soft gasp, then silence.

“Please say it”, Kakashi pleaded desperately, afraid to look up.

“I… I want you, Kakashi.” Iruka voice was soft, disbelieving, hopeful, hesitating, unsure.

“Again.”

“I want you.” A soft, relieved laugh. “I want you, Kakashi.”

Kakashi gasped softly, a painful, trembling sound. But it didn’t matter, he didn’t care about the pain, he hardly felt it.

“I want you to stay with me, Kakashi”, Iruka told him softly. “Just as you’ve promised. I want you to be with me and stay with me and never leave me. You promised. And I want that.”

“I want that, too.” Kakashi lifted his head up and looked at him, feeling his heart pound in his chest from happiness and relief and gratefulness and joy mingling with each other and making his head spin. He lowered his head slowly until he could kiss Iruka softly, sweetly.

“Do you feel different?”, he asked when they parted again.

“Happier, much better.” Iruka smiled up at him. “But because of you, not because the jutsu vanished. I don’t know when that happened.” He frowned softly. “Could even have been days ago, Gai-sensei didn’t try the word on me to find out.”

“Doesn’t matter”, Kakashi whispered. “You want me, that’s all that matters.”

“I’ve wanted you the whole time.” Iruka tenderly stroked over his cheek. “Why did you think I wouldn’t?”

“I… I thought that maybe the jutsu made you feel my desire for you to want me and then made you act accordingly”, Kakashi confessed. “I was so afraid to do anything that could hurt you later because you hadn’t really wanted it. I was afraid you could hate me.”

“Is that why you so often stopped it when we were about to come close?”, Iruka asked softly.

“Yes”, Kakashi whispered. “I was afraid to take advantage of you, but sometimes… sometimes I couldn’t resist. Please don’t be angry.”

“Kakashi… Why should I be angry?”

“I… Because I in a way thought that you weren’t able to decide freely what you wanted to do. I did what everybody else did, what you hated.”

“How could I be angry?” Iruka kissed him tenderly. “You are a good man, Hatake Kakashi. You always think of me first, and that…” He swallowed hard and his eyes started to shine wetly. “Nobody’s ever done something like this for me.”

“How… how good for me”, Kakashi told him, trying to make him laugh a little and afraid that he would start to cry, too, if Iruka did. “This way, I didn’t have to make anybody disappear to take you from them.”

“I won’t let anybody take me from you.” Iruka smiled. “And you from me neither.”

“Mmmh… I feel safe now.” Kakashi grinned.

“Me too.” Iruka’s smile softened. “I feel so safe when you’re with me.” He gently pulled the Jounin’s head down and kissed him slowly. Without loosening his left hand’s grip in the silver hair, Iruka moved his right down Kakashi’s back and tugged at his shirt until the Copy-nin reluctantly broke the kiss and pulled off the cloth, along with his mask and hitai-ate. And then he let Iruka’s shirt follow, just to be even.

“Mmmmh… I like how your skin feels on mine”, Iruka sighed while he traced the faint scars on his pale chest. “I can’t wait to feel it on my whole body.”

“Whatever you want.” Kakashi grinned before he quickly opened his pants, then moved his hands to get rid of the Chuunin’s while he tugged his own down with his toes.

“Is that one of the stunts you have to be able to pull when you want to become Jounin?”, Iruka laughed and lifted his body up so Kakashi could pull down his boxers and throw them… somewhere. Anywhere. Not that he cared.

“It’s handy.” Kakashi grinned while he got rid of his own boxers, then sat up next to Iruka and just looked at him. He’d already seen most of him when the Chuunin had come from the shower or while they’d been intimate on the couch, but this was something completely different. Now he could see all of Iruka, gloriously naked, and it was so, so much better.

“I want to count all your scars one day”, the Chuunin whispered, tracing one on his collarbone. “And then I will kiss every one of them.”

“Why not start today?”, Kakashi suggested.

“I have other plans already.” Iruka flashed him a lustful smirk, then pushed him backwards until the Jounin lay sprawled on the bed. He climbed onto his lap, straddling him, and Kakashi shuddered when he felt his warm weight on his already sensitive groin.

“Perfect…”, he moaned and placed his hands on the Chuunin’s hips, then groaned when Iruka trailed soft, teasing fingertips over his rapidly stiffening member.

“You’ll feel so good…”, Iruka breathed huskily, his gaze locked with the Copy-nin’s. “So good inside me…”

Kakashi felt his body shudder violently and his member harden immediately while his hands tightened their grip on Iruka’s hips. God, the thought alone… And he knew it would be impossibly good with Iruka, like nothing he’d ever experienced before, because he’d never felt so close, never cared so much before.

“I’ll feel you inside me tonight”, Iruka whispered while he took one of the Jounin’s hands from his hip and placed it around his stiff member, letting Kakashi feel him harden more and more. “I’ve wanted that for so long already, Kakashi. Even more than being inside you. But we’ll do that soon, too.”

Kakashi’s eyes widened. He wasn’t sure if the tremors running through him came from anticipation or nervousness at Iruka’s last words. But then Iruka leaned down to kiss him, to claim and possess his lips forcefully, and he found that he would do anything Iruka wanted and that he also knew that everything Iruka wanted to do would be good, so very good.

“I want to have you in me tonight”, Iruka panted against his lips. “And I want to sleep in your arms tonight and wake up beside you tomorrow. I want that, Kakashi. I want that.” He kissed him once more, gentler and slower this time.

“Yes”, Kakashi panted and quickly moved his hands to hold his head and lips in place. He wanted to hold Iruka in his arms that night and wake up beside him in the morning. And he wanted to do that every day from now on.

“I’m so happy that you’ll be yourself tomorrow”, he murmured softly, arousal pushed aside for the moment by a much more tender feeling. “That the jutsu won’t affect you anymore.” And the next day, Iruka would be like this, completely fine and himself, and the day after that, too, and the days after that.

“I’ll be myself and wanting you still, don’t worry”, Iruka whispered, then smirked. “And now shut up unless you decide to moan my name.” He started to lick and nip his way down Kakashi’s body. “I’ll accept whimpering and shouting, too.”

Kakashi closed his eyes and more than happily obeyed the Chuunin’s demand while he felt Iruka move over his chest and then stomach. God, it felt so good to know that Iruka wanted him, that he was alright again. And Iruka would still want him the next day, and then do this again because he wanted it. And Kakashi could be sure about that, completely sure, completely… sure…

“What if the jutsu’s not gone but only weakened enough for you to resist the word?”, he wondered out loud and immediately wished he hadn’t.

“What?”, Iruka asked, looking up at him from right above the Jounin’s groin with an disbelieving look on his face.

“What if it comes back during the night?” Kakashi took a deep breath. “What if you’re affected again tomorrow?” Or even right at this moment?

“You’re kidding, right?”, Iruka asked.

“I… I…” Kakashi looked at him. What if the jutsu was still there? What if it would come back in the morning, strengthened? But if that really was the case, Iruka was stronger than it. Iruka was fine now, and he wanted him.

“I will not let you go now”, Iruka declared.

But could he be sure? Could he be sure that Iruka was completely able to decide without Kakashi’s desires having any influence on him? Could he be completely, completely sure? Could he be sure enough to take the risk of hurting him?

Kakashi sighed. The answer was easy, painfully easy.

“You’re thinking again, aren’t you?”, Iruka growled. “I already told you that you’re thinking too much.”

“Iruka, I…” Kakashi looked at him. He didn’t want to say this, he really didn’t. “We can’t.” He couldn’t risk it.

“We can”, the Chuunin growled back. “And we will.”

“I can’t.” Not if he couldn’t be completely sure.

“You can’t?” Iruka wrapped his hand around him, making him gasp. “I don’t think so.”

“Iruka, I- Iruka!” Kakashi arched his back when suddenly tight, wet heat surrounded him, then was so sure he had to die when an agile tongue pressed against the slit of his member and teeth scraped gently, carefully.

Iruka hummed around him while he squeezed him with one of his hands and used the other to tickle his left upper thigh. He lifted his head slowly until Kakashi could feel the cold air on his wet skin, then a tongue licking teasingly over the tip of his erection. But what made him gasp even more was the lustful, promising, almost devilish smirk on Iruka’s lips.

“I.” Iruka licked him once again. “Want.” He started to crawl up his body. “You.” He licked over the Jounin’s lips. “Inside me. Now.” He lowered his hips and rubbed their arousals against each other.

“Irukaaa…”, Kakashi groaned. He wanted… so very much… but he couldn’t… he shouldn’t…

“I have condoms and massage oil in the bathroom”, Iruka coaxed. “All I need now is your… consent.” Another smirk. “Give me what I want.”

“Iruka, I… I can’t… be sure… not completely…”, Kakashi panted breathlessly. “I want you, but I can’t be sure.” He closed his eyes, afraid that he had hurt Iruka. But he couldn’t give in to his desires now, he couldn’t risk to hurt Iruka even more.

For a long, too long moment all he could hear were his and Iruka’s breathings and the frantic, anxious pounding of his heart.

“Damn, you idiot”, he heard Iruka growl then. “You make me feel as if I’m raping you.” Then the Chuunin lay down on his chest. “I’m not happy now.”

“Sorry”, Kakashi whispered hoarsely and embraced him, impossibly relieved.

“I’m very much not happy now.” Iruka bit him sharply. “In fact, I’m very unhappy now. And I will only be happy again if you make it good again.”

“Sorry”, Kakashi whispered and turned them around until he lay half on him. “I’ll make it good.” He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop now, knew that he had to pleasure Iruka, not only to make it good but also because he felt the overwhelming need to see him while the Chuunin found his release. He would have to force his conscience to take that.

“You’ll better do that.” Iruka pouted and glared up at him. “I’m no happy Chuunin if I don’t get what I want.”

“I’m sorry, Iruka.” Kakashi kissed him softly to stop him from pouting.

“Why do you have to be so damn careful with me?”, Iruka murmured. “Why do you have to be so damn considerate? Why do you have to make me feel so damn good with that?”

“I can’t risk to hurt you”, Kakashi told him softly. “Even if it means to make you angry.”

“I’m not angry.” Iruka sighed. “How could I? When you’re so good to me?” He sighed again. “It makes me feel… precious.”

“You are precious to me”, Kakashi whispered and tenderly traced his eyebrows, cheekbones, nose and finally lips with one fingertip. His eyes widened and his mouth opened in a silent moan when Iruka opened his mouth and took his finger in, licking it and sucking on it gently.

“Right now”, he whispered and released the moist but very happy finger, “I would prefer to be moaning.” He arched a challenging eyebrow, a smirk tugging on the corner of his lips. “And precious.”

“You’ll get whatever you want from me”, Kakashi gave back breathlessly. He let his right hand stroke over the Chuunin’s cheek and neck, then chest, stomach and hip until he reached his hard member and gripped it gently. Starting to stroke his length, he leaned his head forward and captured Iruka’s lips in a slow, deep kiss, trying to show him how grateful he was that he was understood.

“I’ll have you… tomorrow”, Iruka panted. “The moment you’re… comp- mmh… completely sure that- ha… that I’m fine…” He placed his left hand on the back of the Jounin’s neck and held him in place to kiss him again.

“Whatever you want”, Kakashi whispered back. “When I’m completely sure, you can have from me whatever you want.”

“I’ll rememmmh… remember that”, Iruka told him. “Whatever… I want…” He moved his right hand downwards to the Jounin’s groin.

“No”, Kakashi murmured. “Just let me make you feel good.” He tightened his hold around him, earning himself a low, breathy moan, then tried to remember and imitate what Iruka had done with him the last time. He moved his hand slowly first, then alternated with some hard, fast strokes, watching Iruka gasp and his eyes widen. When he squeezed, carefully at first, Iruka made some absolutely delicious noises, only to be described as something between shout and whimper, and Kakashi decided that whatever it would take, he would hear them again and again.

“Ka… ka-ah! K’shiii…”, Iruka half panted and half whimpered while he tightened his hand’s hold in the Jounin’s hair and pulled him closer for a deep, hard kiss. “Don’ you… d-dare to ssstop…” On another hard stroke, he threw his head back and moaned loudly.

No, Kakashi knew that he would never stop this, not for anybody or anything. He longed to see Iruka get lost in pleasure, longed to see his eyes get hazy from bliss and his body boneless from sated exhaustion. It was the best state Iruka could be in.

Kakashi continued to alternately squeeze and rub in soft and hard strokes while he lowered his head as much as he could to kiss and nip Iruka’s neck and his left collarbone. On a particularly good spot right between collarbone and throat, he started to suck, gently first, then more forcefully. He wanted to mark Iruka as his, no matter how ridiculous that might be. He wanted to see something of himself on the Chuunin, wanted to know that there was something labelling him as his, his, his, for nobody else to touch in any way.

“Yesss…”, he heard Iruka hiss. “M-mark… me…”

His body trembling at hearing these words, Kakashi sucked harder until he was sure that there would be a glorious love bite visible, then hurried to get his lips onto Iruka’s again. He could feel the Chuunin’s breath come in short, panting gasps and felt anticipation building in him to see Iruka find his release.

“Let go”, he coaxed. “Iruka, let go. Let me see.” And then he squeezed and stroked hard and fast and squeezed again until he felt the Chuunin shudder violently.

Iruka squeezed his eyes shut and arched his back, then shouted Kakashi’s name while his hand tightened a little painfully in the Jounin’s hair. His whole body shivered, his muscles flexed and his skin erupted in goose bumps while Kakashi felt warm seed flow over his hand and saw the Chuunin’s chakra ripple furiously. Then he suddenly went limp and boneless with a long, low sigh which held the Copy-nin’s name.

Kakashi watched him, just watched him while he slowly caught his breath again, let go of the Jounin’s hair and finally opened his eyes. And yes, that was it, that was the look he always wanted to see, the look that not only showed tenderness and trust and care but also this certain sort of oblivious, sated bliss that indicated that for Iruka, there was only Kakashi at the moment and nobody and nothing else.

“Kakashi…”, Iruka whispered softly, making the Jounin shiver, then slowly pulled his head closer and kissed him lazily.

“Iruka”, Kakashi whispered back and wrapped his arms around him to press him against his body, not caring that he was smearing semen over his chest and on Iruka’s back.

“You haven’t come yet”, Iruka murmured. “I thought you would also take care of yourself.”

“Don’t worry”, Kakashi told him. “I can now.” How could he have even thought of himself while the Chuunin had been making those noises and looking like he had?

“Let me…” Iruka moved to crawl downwards.

“No.” The Jounin gently stopped him. “I… not today.” Not before he couldn’t be completely sure.

“Hm.” Iruka frowned a little before he kissed him again, then smirked at him, a little exhausted maybe but still devilish. His eyes locked with the Copy-nin’s, he took his right hand in his, lifted it to his mouth and slowly started to lick the remains of his semen off it.

“Oh… Oh my…” Kakashi couldn’t breathe for a moment, then just knew that he had to die or at least lose consciousness right there and then when Iruka took one of his fingers in his mouth all the way, swirling his tongue around it, and then the next.

“Now show me”, he whispered when he had cleaned every finger and the palm. “Show me, Kakashi.”

“Sh-show you?”, the Jounin panted. “What?”

Iruka just smirked again, then slowly moved his hand holding Kakashi’s down until it reached his aching erection. “Show me”, he demanded again. “I want to see you.”

“Irukaaa…”, Kakashi breathed in a trembling voice but felt his hand wrap around himself and start to move nonetheless. He could see Iruka watch him with hungry eyes, his lips slightly parted. When the Chuunin slipped his tongue out to lick over them, Kakashi moaned softly, desperately.

“Do you know how delicious you look right now?”, Iruka whispered. “Touching yourself and moaning and panting and… god, Kakashi, I want to take you in my mouth now, I want to taste you on my tongue.”

“P-please”, Kakashi panted and tilted his head to kiss him. “Please, Iruka…” He needed to taste him, needed to feel Iruka’s tongue on his. He wanted to pull him close to do that, but he needed his left hand to stabilise his shaking body and couldn’t take his right hand from his erection, not with Iruka looking at him like that.

“But I can’t do that now”, Iruka continued. “I want to look at your face when you come and I can’t do that when I have you in my mouth.” He leaned his head forward until there was barely any space between his lips and Kakashi’s. “But I’ll do it tomorrow, Kakashi. Tomorrow I’ll do with you whatever I want. You promised.”

“Y-yes”, Kakashi forced out. “What… whatever… y-you… want…” So close, Iruka’s lips were so close, and he couldn’t reach them, couldn’t stop his body from shaking uncontrollably to get closer to them. “P-please…”, he begged.

“Yes, Kakashi”, Iruka whispered soothingly and then finally leaned forward and kissed him, slipped his tongue between the Jounin’s unresisting lips and let him taste his addictive, unique flavour, and Kakashi felt his body tremble even more, his arousal increase and his erection throb more insistently.

“I’ll feel you inside me tomorrow”, Iruka whispered against his lips, then bit the lower gently. “And it will be so good, Kakashi. I’ll make you feel so good, I’ll make you scream my name when you come inside me, and I’ll scream yours. And then I’ll have you take me again. I want you to take me until I’m not able to walk anymore, Kakashi. I want to feel that I’m yours, that you made me yours. Will you do that?”

“Yes!”, Kakashi moaned, stroking himself faster, harder, without rhythm or coherent thought anymore. “I’ll make you… mine…” He kissed Iruka again, hard, deep and desperate, so desperate for release now from this sweet, delicious torture.

And then, without breaking the kiss, Iruka suddenly moved his hand and placed one of his fingertips on the very tip of his erection and gently moved it in a small circle, and the sudden, soft touch in contrast to his own frantic rubbing was enough to send Kakashi into a shuddering, trembling, absolutely mind-blowing orgasm. He yelled out Iruka’s name but couldn’t hear it because Iruka was still kissing him, felt his hand tighten painfully but still perfectly around his member and then everything became black for a moment before he found himself lying on his back, still panting harshly.

“I didn’t really expect you to black out”, he heard Iruka chuckle beside him.

“Hm.” Kakashi wasn’t sure but thought that he probably should be embarrassed. But then he decided that he was too sated and dizzy to care. Mustering up all his remaining strength, he turned his head to look at Iruka.

“I’ll just ride you tomorrow then”, the Chuunin announced, smirking. Then he lifted his left hand and opened his mouth, obviously wanting to lick the fresh semen from the tips of the first three fingers, his eyes locked with the Copy-nin’s.

“Don’t”, Kakashi pleaded weakly. “I might die if you do that.”

“I have to find out how you taste. For tomorrow”, Iruka told him and then licked his fingers clean.

After some moments of enraptured staring, Kakashi blinked out of his frozen stupor. “You’re such a meany.”

Iruka laughed. And then he took a deep breath and laughed more. And then he leaned forward, kissed him deeply and showed Kakashi that he tasted rather bitter.

“Tomorrow”, the Jounin panted after they broke the kiss. “Promise me that you’ll be like this tomorrow. Yourself.”

“I’ve always been myself, the whole time.” Iruka smiled at him gently. “I only somehow couldn’t really make clear to you what I wanted and that I really wanted it. But now that I can do that again and can tell you, I won’t let anybody take that from me ever again.”

“I won’t let that happen”, Kakashi promised and stroked over his cheek tenderly, then traced the outlines of the love bite he’d made earlier with his fingertip. “You’re mine now.”

“I am.” Iruka kissed him softly. “And I wouldn’t want it any other way.” He trailed one of his fingers over the Jounin’s chest until he reached the already cooling semen there. “We have to wash that off. It will be itchy soon.” And with that, he got up from the bed and disappeared in the bathroom.

Kakashi sighed contently and closed his eyes. Perfect. Everything was perfect now. And he wanted to believe that everything would be perfect the next day, too. He was tired of always fearing the worst and blaming himself for doing something he hadn’t been able to stop. He wanted to believe that Iruka would be alright the next day. He had to believe it.

He didn’t open his eyes when he felt Iruka come back and a warm, wet cloth on his chest, stomach and groin, not even when the Chuunin called him a ‘lazy, blacking-out Jounin’ and poked him in his side playfully. He knew that he had to be quiet and seem harmless to catch his prey.

So, when Iruka came back, probably from getting rid of the washcloth, and sat down on the bed, Kakashi pounced. He grabbed the yelping Chuunin around the waist and dragged him to his chest, then held the by now laughing Chuunin there while he one-handedly dragged the sheets over them. When he deemed Iruka wrapped up enough not to get cold, he lay down half on him, threw one of his legs over his and his arm around his waist, determined not to let him go anywhere, came whatever might. And the next day, Iruka wouldn’t want to go anywhere but would want to stay with him.

“Comfortable?”, Iruka chuckled.

“Very.”

“You’re rather heavy.”

“I’m not moving”, Kakashi declared and closed his eyes. There. He was asleep now. The next day could come, and then Iruka would be all fine and himself and know what he wanted and want him.

“Kakashi?”

“Hmmm?”

“You never made me purr”, Iruka told him smugly.

“Damn.” But the next day, yes, the next day he would do that. And Iruka would want him to. And tell him that he wanted it. And the jutsu would be vanished completely, and he would be completely sure. And he would know that it had been vanished that day already, that he hadn’t done anything Iruka hadn’t really wanted.

----- ----- -----

The next morning, Kakashi found himself sitting in his kitchen while he sipped his already cold coffee and stared out of the window without seeing anything… anxiously waiting for Iruka to wake up. If only the Chuunin still felt the way he had seemed to the last night. If only Kakashi hadn’t made the biggest failure of his life by giving in to his desire and hurting Iruka with it. If only-

A yawn. “Good morning.”

Kakashi felt the mug slip from his hands when he jumped up in surprise and whirled around to look at Iruka. He heard the ceramic fall to the floor and shatter, but seeing the other – eyes still hazy and sleepy, hair tousled and the only clothes on his frame a pair of low-slung boxers – made the Jounin instantly forget everything else but the Chuunin in front of him.

“Kakashi!”, he heard Iruka exclaim and saw his eyes open wide. “Your feet!”

“Hm?”, Kakashi murmured.

“You’ll burn yourself!” Hastily, Iruka took a step forward and pushed the Copy-nin backwards, away from the spilled coffee, then frowned. “Hu? It’s cold? How long have you been here?”

“Hm?”, Kakashi repeated, distracted by the sensation of Iruka’s warm hands on his naked chest.

“Kakashi?” The Chuunin eyed him worriedly. “Is everything alright?” He lifted his left hand and touched the other’s forehead. “Don’t you feel good?”

“I… I feel good…”, Kakashi murmured and closed his eyes at the touch. If only…

“You don’t look like it.” The warm hand moved lower and stroked over his cheek tenderly. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong”, the Jounin whispered, wishing desperately that it was the truth. “How do you feel?”

“Me? Fine, why do you ask?”

“What do you want for breakfast, lunch and dinner?”, Kakashi asked without opening his eye, hoping and praying. Oh all merciful heavens, if only…

“For breakfast, lunch and dinner? Why do you ask now what I w-” He heard the Chuunin gasp, then silence followed.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi asked softly and opened his eye, painfully afraid that he would meet empty brown ones.

His eyes widened and his heart skipped several beats when instead he looked into lively, playful, sparkling eyes and a beautiful smile.

“You’re a good man, Hatake Kakashi”, Iruka told him, smiling. “And if I may choose, I want – I want, do you hear me? I want a kiss. Right now.”

“Oh, thank you”, Kakashi gasped in utter relief, then leaned forward and embraced the Chuunin until he could bury his face in Iruka’s soft hair. He felt his heart race in relief and joy and gratitude and excitement and so many feelings at once that it almost made him dizzy.

“I don’t want you to thank me”, he heard the Chuunin laugh softly while he hugged him back. “I want- no, I demand a kiss, Kakashi.”

“Yes”, the Copy-nin breathed, leaned his head back and complied. He brushed his lips over his lover’s softly at first, then pressed more when Iruka growled impatiently and finally parted his lips for the Chuunin’s tongue.

“Mmmmh…”, Iruka whispered into his mouth after they reluctantly parted for air. “More, Kakashi…” He stepped even closer until he was flush against the Jounin’s chest and slowly moved his groin against his front. “More… you promised…”

“Iruka…”, Kakashi moaned and claimed his mouth in a deep kiss before he pushed the Chuunin backwards until his back connected with the wall of the living room. Without letting go of his lover’s deliciously addictive lips, he let his hands roam over the muscular chest before him, eliciting little arousing gasps.

“Kakashi”, Iruka panted and rubbed his quickly growing arousal against the Jounin’s equally hardening front. “I want you…” He continued his hips’ movements and trailed his hands over the Copy-nin’s back, his fingernails scratching slightly.

“First…”, Kakashi panted, “first… Tsuna… de… already late…” He could hardly restrain himself from complying to his lover’s wish; just the thought of taking the Chuunin, making him moan and writhe and scream his name, his and only his, just like Iruka had promised the night before, was almost too much for the remains of his self-control. But he had to be completely, completely, completely sure.

“Don’t wanna…”, the Chuunin whined and pouted. “Want you… now…” He lowered one of his hands and trailed it to the Copy-nin’s chest, then lower until he reached his arousal. “Give me what I want”, he whispered and started to stroke it through the cloth of the boxers.

“N-no”, the Jounin forced out between gasps while he steadied himself on the wall with both hands. “F-first Ts- Aah!”

“Give me what I want”, Iruka repeated and smirked. “I wonder what I could do to convince you…” Without breaking eye-contact, he slowly got to his knees, then tugged down the Jounin’s boxers before-

“Oh god, Iruka!”, Kakashi moaned hoarsely and closed his eyes when he felt the hot wetness engulf him. He couldn’t help but thrust a little at the pleasure his Chuunin was providing. “Iru… Iruk- Ah!”

Iruka hummed softly around him, making the Copy-nin throw his head back and groan deep in his chest. When the Chuunin started to move his tongue in excruciatingly slow circles, Kakashi heard himself whimper and gasp, then beg and shout, and felt his hand find its way into Iruka’s hair. This was heavenly sweet torture, this was paradise and hell at once, and he never wanted this to end and still wanted so badly to feel the ecstasy Iruka was promising, wanted-

“You disgusting bastard! I trusted you!”

Kakashi jumped in shock at the booming voice and heard Iruka gasp beneath him and felt him let go. Before the Jounin could so much as turn around to the intruder, an inhumanly strong hand had already gripped his neck and he was yanked back from his lover brutally before a fist connected with his jaw and the force of the hit sent him flying through the room until he crashed with his head against the opposite wall.

“How can you dare, you bastard?!”, were the last words he heard before he passed out.

-----

Oh god, his head hurt… Kakashi groaned right after he felt himself regain consciousness. Holy hell, why did his head hurt like he’d had a whole bar worth of sake or overused his Sharingan eye worse than ever or-

“Kakashi?”, a soft voice whispered. “Is it very bad? Do you want me to give you something against the pain?”

“Iruka?”, Kakashi croaked, then flinched when his own voice resounded painfully in his throbbing head.

“I’m here.” The Jounin felt a warm hand take his, the contact somehow managing to ease his pain. “Don’t move too much. Your skull is fractured and even with Tsunade-sama’s help it will need at least some days to heal.”

“What happened?”, Kakashi whispered and tried to open his uncovered eye. At the third attempt, he finally succeeded and caught sight of his lover and a white room. Urgh… he hated hospitals… but at least Iruka was with him.

“Tsunade-sama knocked you out. She wanted your report and when we didn’t show up for my check-up, she came to the apartment to check on us. She broke the door and came in when she heard… shouts from inside”, the Chuunin told him softly, blushing, and moved his free hand to stroke over the Copy-nin’s hair. “She saw us and because she didn’t know that I was fine again already, she thought you were raping me and taking advantage of me.”

“I would never… do that, Iruka…”, Kakashi whispered.

“I know.” He saw Iruka smile warmly. “And I explained everything to her. She’s still angry that we didn’t report immediately this morning and wants to talk to you about that, but she is also very sorry, Kakashi.”

“She better is…” Kakashi closed his eye again. He wasn’t really sure whether he should be angry at the Hokage for assuming that he would ever take advantage of Iruka like that or be glad that she cared so much about the Chuunin that she even went to beating up an elite Jounin to protect him.

“And I’m sorry, too, Kakashi”, the Chuunin told him. “If I hadn’t insisted on… on staying instead of going to her for my check-up, nothing would have happened to you.”

“It’s fine…” Kakashi grinned despite the pain that caused in his head. “‘s not that I… refused much…”

“True”, he heard Iruka laugh softly. “But I’ll still make it up to you.” A soft kiss was placed on the Jounin’s masked lips. “I will pamper you and get you extra blankets and hot-water bottles and make tea and chicken soup for you. I will even read your dirty book to you if you want that. And when you’re well again, I will do anything you want, anything.”

“Don’t have to…”, the Copy-nin whispered.

“I know, stupid.” Another kiss. “I won’t do it because I feel that I have to. I will do anything you want because it’s what I want to do. All those weeks, you’ve done everything just for me, made sure that I was safe and never thought of yourself. I want to give some of that back to you, Kakashi, not because I feel that I have to but because I want do it for you.”

“Want that…”, Kakashi murmured while he felt himself start to drift back to sleep.

A gentle hand combed through his hair and then Iruka carefully pulled down his mask and kissed him tenderly. Kakashi smiled. He had a cracked head, a monstrous headache and would be getting a scolding from the Hokage – who’d seen him happily getting his little Copy-nin spoiled by another man and was the head of the village’s gossiping community, by the way – quite soon, he summed up while he decided to use his last conscious moments to make plans on what to do with the ‘anything’ Iruka had promised.

His life never went smooth. But he wouldn’t want it any other way.

THE END

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

AN:
Lucky poor Kakashi, isn’t he?
This chapter’s been hard to write, not only because I have incredibly much to do at the moment (I worked freaking nine hours in a row today!), but also because I at first planned to let them have ‘real’ sex. But I was never happy with that since I had the impression that it would have been too smooth for Iruka saying, ‘Hey, I’m fine again now, so take me. I want it’, and Kakashi just jumping the opportunity. (Or the Chuunin, rather.) It wouldn’t have fit with him being so very careful and doubting all the time. Therefore his kind of sex (because I think it still counts as sex what they did).
(Oh, and I really enjoyed making Iruka take the lead and being pushy. It’s fun.)
Anyway, thank you all very much for your support and comments. It especially made me happy to hear that you thought the same about the doujinshi that inspired me to write this.

Nayru

Your Wish Is My Command, Chapter 5

2007-10-07T09:00:47Z

Your Wish Is My Command

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 5

“Genma can’t come”, Kakashi said and closed the door behind the messenger. “He’s on a mission.” Oooh, such a pity…

“Oh.” Iruka’s face fell a little. “Such a pity. I’ll make lunch for us two then.” He disappeared into the kitchen.

Oh, this wasn’t good. Unhappy Iruka wasn’t good at all. Kakashi had to do something. But what? Hmmm… Yes!

The Jounin quickly formed the seals for his summoning jutsu. “What about a day with Iruka, me and lunch?”, he asked, distinctly suspecting that ‘Iruka’ and ‘lunch’ probably were the keywords.

“Sounds good”, the cloud of smoke answered.

“Iruka, look who came over to visit you”, Kakashi called out into the kitchen.

“Hm?” Iruka poked his head out, then a bright smile lit his face. “Pakkun!” He immediately crouched down and gathered the pug in his arms. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you, Iruka-sensei.” Pakkun wagged his tail happily when the Chuunin started to scratch his ears.

Kakashi couldn’t help but smile softly at seeing Iruka happy again. He felt a little bad for asking Pakkun to come over since… Well, if he was honest with himself, it partially had been to have somebody to distract Iruka and even more himself from the promising temptation the respective other meant. But while he looked at Iruka’s smiling face and heard him laugh, he knew that it had been right. Not what he wanted or what was really right in a moral sort of way, but right in a way that would protect Iruka from any pain and hurt.

“What about we go for a walk in the forest?”, he suggested to chase the guilty thoughts away. “We could take sandwiches with us and make a picnic.”

“Perfect idea.” Iruka smiled at him before he set Pakkun back down on the floor. “I’ll prepare the food.”

“I’ll help”, Kakashi said. He liked to see Iruka cook. It was almost like a dance, the Chuunin was so very sure in everything he did in the kitchen. Unless he burned his fingers, which he did rather often. But then Kakashi could kiss it better.

“You’ll just stare at me again”, Iruka accused. “You never do anything.”

“I wait for a good opportunity to take a bite.” Kakashi took him in his arms and nibbled at his neck. “Yummy.”

“Pervert.” But Iruka laughed, turned around and kissed him after saying that.

-----

“Feels good to be outside”, Iruka sighed and took a deep breath while they walked through the giant trees just outside the village, Pakkun a little way in front of them.

“M-hm”, Kakashi agreed, then took the Chuunin’s hand into his and held it, entwining their fingers. Now it felt even better.

“Someone could see us”, Iruka told him softly but didn’t move to get his hand back.

“Shall they.” Kakashi smiled at him. “I don’t care.”

“Really?”

“Not a bit.” Kakashi tugged at the Chuunin’s hand until Iruka was right beside him, then laid his arm around his waist. “As long as all they do is looking. No touching Kakashi’s Iruka.”

Iruka didn’t say anything but he snuggled closer to him, and Kakashi didn’t need more than that.

-----

“Your chakra’s changed, boss.”

“Hm?” Kakashi didn’t take his eyes from Iruka who was standing in the small river next to their picnicking spot and tried to catch a fish for dinner.

“Your chakra. It has changed”, Pakkun repeated.

“How?”

“It’s all directed at him.” The pug moved closer to him. “When I first met him, your chakra was still as always, circling around you. But now it’s like his.”

“Like Iruka’s? What do you mean?” Kakashi looked at his dog.

“His chakra was already directed at you when I first met him. It was still circling around him but somehow also… feeling out for you. And now yours is the same towards him.” Pakkun snorted. “And if you’re close to him, your chakras mingle. Now that’s tasting weird.”

“Tasting? How come chakra and words can taste?”

“Words can taste?”

“Never mind.” Kakashi smiled softly when Iruka dove his hands into the water once again only to get even wetter without catching anything. “So, our chakras mingle?”

“Yes. But not mingling like in mixing, you know, because they still stay separated.” Pakkun shrugged. “If you want a better word, you could say that they embrace whenever you two are close.”

“Ah.” Kakashi nodded. He’d never heard of something like that before, but it felt good to think about his chakra and Iruka’s embracing.

“I think he caught something”, Pakkun announced. “Ah, or maybe not.”

“You should use your chakra”, Kakashi shouted towards the river.

“And where’s the challenge then?”, Iruka asked back, dripping wet and grinning broadly. “Everybody can catch a fish by using their chakra.”

“Likes challenges, hu?” Pakkun snorted a laugh. “Now I understand why he chose you, boss.”

Kakashi just shrugged. He still didn’t understand why Iruka had chosen him, and he was rather sure that he would never understand that. But he was grateful for it nonetheless.

-----

“I can’t believe you’re so reckless”, Kakashi growled. “And I can’t believe I let you stay in there for so long.”

“Don’t be so grumpy”, Iruka murmured and kicked the second blanket off his body. “I feel fine.”

“You’re cold like a fish from standing in that river for so long.” Kakashi put the blanket back in place. “Stay in bed now and be good.”

“Kakashi, I feel fine”, Iruka assured. “I’m just a little cold, that’s all.”

“You’re just a little cold, hu?” Kakashi snorted. “I’ll get you a hot-water bottle.”

“Kakashi, that’s really not necessary.”

“Well, I think it is.”

“Kakashi, that’s…” Iruka shook his head. “The moment you leave the room, I’ll get out of bed.”

“You’ll not.”

“I will.”

“Will not. I will tie you to the bed if necessary.”

“Yeah, sure.” Iruka laughed. “Kinky but unlikely. Unfortunately.”

Kakashi sighed. “Just stay in bed, will you please? You were shaking from the cold when you came out of the river. I know it’s already spring, but you could catch something.” He sat down next to the Chuunin and stroked over his head. “Just let me make sure that you don’t get sick because I didn’t look after you.”

“I can-”

“I know you can take care of yourself”, Kakashi interrupted softly. “And I know you can decide on your own. It’s just that I wa- wish that you are perfectly fine, okay? I know I’m overreacting, but that’s just because I’m afraid that you’ll get sick because I didn’t pay enough attention. Once in the water, one quickly doesn’t notice the cold anymore, and I should have realised that while the air’s warm already, the water’s still too cold for a bath.”

Iruka looked at him, then sighed. “Alright, I’ll stay in bed if it makes you happy. But no hot-water bottle.” He grinned suddenly and wrapped his arms around the Jounin’s neck. “I know something better to keep me warm. You can be my full-body warming Jounin-pillow.”

“How could I refuse that?”, Kakashi laughed and quickly crawled under the two covers and into two awaiting arms.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi smiled softly and closed his eyes when he heard Iruka’s voice singing gently in the kitchen. He sighed. This was how he wanted to spend all his free days, just lying on the couch and listening to Iruka sing. The Chuunin’s voice was soft and tender, and although Kakashi couldn’t understand the words of the song through the door, he felt the intention behind them, the tell of love and care they told.

“Hey”, Iruka startled him out of his light doze. “I made you hot chocolate.”

“Thank you.” Kakashi smiled up at him, sat up and carefully took the mug. “Sit with me?”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Iruka sat down and snuggled against his side.

“How do you feel?” Kakashi placed his free hand on the Chuunin’s forehead. Good. No signs of a fever.

“I told you I feel fine.” Iruka took the hand and placed a kiss on each fingertip. “Stop worrying.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s alright, you worrywart.” Iruka kissed his palm before he let go. “Careful, the chocolate’s hot.”

“Okay.” Kakashi carefully took a small sip, enjoying the bittersweet taste. “It’s perfect. You make the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had.”

“Flatterer”, Iruka murmured.

“No, it’s true.” Kakashi took another sip. “What’s your secret?”

“It’s my mom’s recipe.” Iruka sighed softly. “You have to use milk, not water. No, never water. Water for hot chocolate is eew-eew.” He made a face and then grinned.

“So little Iruka was getting spoiled with hot chocolate made from milk.” Kakashi grinned back. “No wonder you’re so sweet.”

“I got even more spoiled. If you have someone special to make the chocolate for, you can use only half chocolate powder and half melted chocolate.” Iruka looked up. “And if you have someone very special to spoil, let’s say an annoying, wonderful Jounin you really, really like, you can use only milk and melted chocolate.”

Kakashi looked at him, the mug of chocolate in his hands and then back at the Chuunin. “You’re a god, you know that?”

“I know. But keep talking.” Iruka grinned, then looked at the mug. “Share?”

“A little maybe.” Kakashi grinned back and held the mug out for the Chuunin to drink.

“Greedy Jounin”, Iruka accused and took a sip, then another.

“Hey, that’s enough now”, Kakashi chuckled. “My chocolate.”

“My Kakashi”, Iruka told him and grabbed the mug. “Therefore my chocolate.”

“Be careful”, Kakashi laughed. “You’ll spill my chocolate.” He stabilised the mug but the Chuunin refused to let go.

“My chocolate”, he insisted and took a rather large sip, some of the sweet liquid sticking to his upper lip due to their struggling.

“You can keep the mug”, Kakashi decided at the sight. “I’ll just take the chocolate.” He let go of the porcelain and instead leaned forward and licked the chocolate off Iruka’s lips.

“More?”, Iruka offered and took another sip before he put the mug down on the low couch table. He looked at the Jounin and arched an eyebrow, not having swallowed yet.

“More.” Kakashi instantly captured his lips, feeling them open slowly beneath his own, and then tasted the warm chocolate inside his Chuunin’s mouth. Who needed mugs anyway?

“More”, he heard Iruka sigh softly after they’d shared the chocolate, “Kakashi, more.” And then the Chuunin pushed him backwards gently and moved to sit on his lap, straddling his thighs.

“Can’t reach the mug”, Kakashi chuckled while he wrapped his arms around the other’s waist.

“You taste like it enough for me.” Iruka leaned down and pressed his lips against the Jounin’s in a chaste, sweet kiss first before licking over them, demanding entrance. When Kakashi obeyed happily, the Chuunin bit his lower lip playfully before sliding his tongue in to search for any remaining taste of chocolate.

“Iruka…”, Kakashi whispered when he leaned back and instantly pulled the Chuunin close again for another kiss. He sighed in approval when he felt Iruka’s warm hands slip beneath the hem of his shirt and caress his stomach and chest.

“Kakashi…”, Iruka whispered back, and the Jounin decided that he liked nothing more than hearing him say his name like that, wrapped in tenderness and care. He could definitely listen to that all day.

Kakashi frowned slightly when he had to break the kiss because Iruka removed both their shirts, but then he found that, yes, that had to have been the best idea ever, because now he could feel the Chuunin’s warm skin on his own and his heartbeat against his chest. He let his hands roam over Iruka’s broad, muscular back and chest and relished in every low sigh and little gasp he gained with that. And now he would find out what it took to make his Chuunin sigh a little more, and what places it would take to caress to make him moan a little and-

Kakashi stilled. Bad idea.

“Mmmh, don’t stop”, Iruka whispered into his ear while his hands trailed invisible pattern over the Jounin’s chest. “So nice…” He tilted his head for another deep, sensual kiss.

Kakashi kissed back just as hungrily, not able to resist that, while his thoughts were racing. He had to stop this, no matter how much he liked it and how good it felt. If he didn’t stop, he would lose his self-control and probably go further than he was allowed to, further than he could risk. But he wanted this so much, and Iruka… Iruka seemed to want it just as much, and it wasn’t that far he would go, he would stop as soon as-

Kakashi gasped softly in surprise when he felt fingers on his belt, undoing it swiftly, and then on the waistband of his pants. Okay, that was bad now, really bad, and nice-perfect-good-moremoremoremo-

No! He couldn’t do that. Not until he could be completely sure that Iruka wanted it.

“Iruka”, he gasped, “Iruka, I-”

Iruka only silenced him with a deep, demanding kiss while he opened the Jounin’s pants slowly, one of his hands lightly stroking over his still cloth-covered member. Then Kakashi heard something clink and saw from the corner of his eye how Iruka threw his own belt on the couch beside him before he felt knuckles brush over his hardening front while the Chuunin opened his own pants.

“Iruka”, Kakashi panted and closed his eyes, knowing that the sight of the flushed, gorgeous man on his lap wouldn’t help his self-control at all. “Iruka, I can’t-”

“No”, Iruka interrupted him. “No, I won’t let you leave now.” He bit the Jounin’s ear hard, making him yelp. “I don’t care what you think you have to do now, but I won’t let you go.”

“But-”

“No.” Another sharp bite, at his neck this time, but then Iruka kissed the spot almost apologetically and nuzzled it with his nose.

“But I have to… to…” Kakashi desperately searched for an excuse, anything to prevent risking to hurt the Chuunin. He could feel his body tremble and his hands shake and twitch in the desire to touch Iruka, but he had to resist, he had to-

Kakashi’s eyes widened when Iruka suddenly seemed to shrink on his lap, curling against his chest.

“You’re still not comfortable with me being a man”, he whispered with a trembling voice. “I can’t change that, Kakashi. I almost wished I could, just to make you feel better, but I can’t. And… and it hurts to see you rejecting me, but I understand that I have to-”

“No!”, Kakashi gasped. “That’s not it!” Nonono, he’d hurt Iruka. He had never wanted that, never.

“It’s alright, Kakashi, I understand it.” Iruka sighed and moved to get up. “It’s just… Sometimes it seems as if everything’s alright, and then suddenly it isn’t, and… it’s just hard to accept, but-”

“No.” Kakashi pulled him against his chest again before he could leave. “No, Iruka, it’s not that.”

“But… but you… whenever we are about to come close, you suddenly say something to stop it, and then… I thought you still…” Iruka closed his eyes and hid his face against Kakashi’s neck.

“I didn’t do it because I felt uncomfortable”, Kakashi whispered truthfully. “I… I just…” He sighed and decided to go with a part of the truth. “I’m just… I don’t really know what to do. Everything’s so different.” He had never cared that much, had never had to be so careful.

“Is… is that true?”, Iruka whispered softly against his neck.

“Yes, I promise.” Kakashi tightened his embrace.

“Then you’re not uncomfortable with me being a man?”

“No, I’m not.” Kakashi gently stroked with his hands over his Chuunin’s back, then around him to his chest, massaging the strong muscles there. “I like every part of you and I will never wish to change you.”

Iruka sighed against his neck. “Promise?”, he murmured softly and gently nipped at the pale skin.

“Promise.” Kakashi smiled and embraced him again. It wasn’t about gender with Iruka, not at all. It was just Iruka he wanted, and he couldn’t care less about the fact that they were both men. It had taken some time, but he had finally understood that.

“I also like you the way you are.” Iruka kissed his neck, then his jaw. “Very much.” He let his hands travel over the Jounin’s chest, slowly going lower.

“That’s… good”, Kakashi whispered weakly, closing his eyes. Somehow, he was now even deeper in it than before. And how should he deny it to Iruka now? It would hurt him again, no matter if the Jounin made up an excuse or told him that he didn’t think that Iruka was able to know what he really wanted.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t like”, Iruka whispered into his ear. “Just do what you feel good doing and tell me if I do something you don’t like.”

“M-hm.” Kakashi swallowed. Iruka doing something he didn’t like wasn’t the problem right now, it was more Iruka doing so many, many things he liked so very, very much what was troubling him.

“You like this?”, Iruka murmured and then started to gently massage the Jounin’s groin.

Kakashi gasped softly and opened his eyes. His mouth dry and his breath hitching, he nodded weakly. He liked this much more than he was allowed to, he knew that, and he had to quickly find a way to stop it or-

“And this?” Iruka slipped his warm hand into his boxers.

“Y-yes”, Kakashi panted breathlessly and gritted his teeth when warm waves of pleasure washed through him. Everything was so good, so very, very good, and also so very, very wrong, and he didn’t know what to do.

“Would you like to touch me?”, Iruka whispered. “But you don’t have to.”

“I wa- I… yes.” Kakashi tilted his head to kiss him while he slowly moved his hands over the Chuunin’s back to his stomach and then lower to the waistband of his pants, but then hesitated unsurely and took a deep breath. Alright, he had never done… that before with another man, but this shouldn’t be difficult. It would just be like touching himself, and he wanted to pleasure Iruka, so this would be easy. Right? And… and then Iruka would gasp again and moan, and-

“Mmmh… good…”, Iruka moaned softly against his lips before he started to gently stroke the Jounin in his pants.

Kakashi gasped and arched his back at the caress, then quickly ripped off his hitai-ate to look at Iruka with both his eyes and remember everything. Taking a deep breath, he slipped his hands inside the Chuunin’s boxers and a little hesitantly still wrapped his fingers around him. Okay, this would be just like touching himself, nothing special and just-

But then Iruka gasped and threw his head back with a low moan, and that made it special for Kakashi, so very special, because his Chuunin was… was… God, he couldn’t even begin to describe it. He just could look and memorise as much as he could of how Iruka was moving and gasping and moaning and arching his back and biting his lip and writhing beneath his touch. And he was doing that for Iruka, only he was making him look like that and sound like that, only he.

“Iruka…”, Kakashi whispered, his eyes still captured. The Chuunin looked gorgeous, perfect, like everything he’d ever wanted.

“Kakashi…”, Iruka panted back and leaned forward again to kiss him. “Don’t stop… please…” And this one word held so much, want and lust and desire and devotion and so much more.

Kakashi swallowed hard before he claimed the Chuunin’s lips again, never ceasing to gently pleasure him. He longed to see Iruka get lost in this pleasure again, longed to make him feel it again. And that… that would be all he would do. He would make Iruka find his release, and then just look at him, and then he would do what he’d done the time before. He wouldn’t let himself take pleasure from Iruka, he wouldn’t risk to take advantage of him.

“Ha… Kakashi…” Iruka bit his lower lip. “Almost… al… most…”

“Let go”, Kakashi whispered back. “Let go, Iruka.”

“Mmh… you… you first…” The Chuunin flashed him a lustful, devious smirk, and then-

“Iruka!”, Kakashi shouted and arched his back towards him when he felt the fingers around him do things that made his head spin and his blood boil suddenly.

“I couldn’t… see you the last time…”, he heard Iruka whisper into his ear. “This time… I’ll look at you…” And then he squeezed and rubbed and did wonders to Kakashi’s body and disasters to his self-control.

“Iru… ka…”, he barely managed to whisper. He couldn’t let that happen, he had to resist.

“Yes… show me, Kakashi.” The Chuunin’s voice was breathless, husky, demanding, coaxing at the same time.

“Iruka…”, Kakashi repeated weakly, noticing absent-mindedly that his hands were still moving although he didn’t know how he was able to get enough thoughts together to do that. He couldn’t make out what exactly Iruka was doing with him, but it didn’t matter because it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And although he knew that it was wrong, he didn’t know a single thing he could do to stop it anymore.

“Show… me”, Iruka demanded again, his breath hitching. “Show m- Ah! … N-now, Ka- ha… Kakashi.” And then he bit down hard, possessively on the Copy-nin’s lower lip.

Kakashi heard himself give a loud, wordless shout at that, feeling the slight pain and the burning arousal and boiling lust inside him mingle, wrap around each other and then explode suddenly. His eyes opened wide, and he was utterly grateful for that because he could see Iruka throw his head back with a growled, almost animalistic moan before the Chuunin fell forward and collapsed against his chest, panting harshly.

Sighing deeply, Kakashi closed his eyes and lifted his heavy hands to wrap around his Chuunin’s body, frowning slightly at the sticky wetness on them and in his pants, the slight throb of his lip and the bruise that was sure to appear soon but that would thankfully be hidden under his mask. But it didn’t really matter, not when Iruka was warm against him, heavy on his lap and so wonderfully, perfectly close to him and completely his, only his.

After taking some deep breaths, he opened his eyes again, and now that he wasn’t distracted, he could see what Pakkun had been talking about. With his Sharingan, he could see his and Iruka’s chakras whirl and circle around their bodies, but also dance and spin where they were close, mingling and parting, dissolving in each other and coming free again. The sight made his head spin but he couldn’t look away from the fascinating play. He wished he could show it to Iruka, because describing it would never be the same as witnessing.

“Didn’ see…”, he heard Iruka murmur against his left collarbone after a felt eternity.

“Hm?”, Kakashi questioned softly and finally forced his eyes away from the chakras and instead looked down the Chuunin’s broad back.

“Didn’ see you.” Iruka slowly lifted his head and even found the strength to pout.

“Poor Iruka.” Kakashi smiled softly. “Maybe next t-” He broke off when he remembered what he’d been determined to not, no, never do. And had done still.

No. Nonono. What had he done to Iruka?!

“M-hm.” The Chuunin lazily nuzzled his throat. “Next time.”

“Iruka…” Kakashi swallowed hard while guilt burned like acid in his stomach. What had he done? He’d just given in to his selfish desires, hadn’t resisted like he should have. What if he had done something Iruka hadn’t really wanted? What if he had taken advantage of him? What if-

“You hands are sticky”, Iruka told him softly.

“Sorry”, Kakashi choked out. “I’m sorry, Iruka.” He could hear his voice break.

“Not that bad”, the Chuunin murmured and snuggled even closer to him, sighing softly and completely oblivious in his sated bliss. “Just stick to me forever and never leave me.”

“I… I wa- … please let me”, Kakashi whispered. God, he was praying and hoping so very much that Iruka would still want him, still let him be with him after the jutsu would have vanished completely. That he wouldn’t blame him for not resisting. He had tried, had tried so much, and still he hadn’t been strong enough.

“Stay with me, Kakashi”, Iruka whispered and looked up, looked into the Jounin’s mismatched eyes with a look full of longing, care, hope and something deep, deeper than anything Kakashi had ever seen in any pair of eyes directed at him. “Never leave me.”

“I won’t”, Kakashi breathed, capturing that look with his cursed, blessed Sharingan eye, that breath-taking look that made his heart race. “I promise.” And he would be stronger from now on, would never again do something that could hurt Iruka later, could make him sad. He would do everything possible to be worth the trust Iruka set in him.

----- ----- -----

“Iruka?” Kakashi nuzzled the neck before his face. “Iruka…”

“Hrmnph.”

“Iruka, you have to wake up now. We have to go for your check-up.” Another nuzzle, but then Kakashi froze when he noticed that the Chuunin’s skin was sweaty and heated. “Iruka?”

“Hrnn… Don’…”

“Iruka, please look at me.” The Jounin sat up in alarm.

“Mrmmm…”

“Iruka, you’re burning up”, Kakashi gasped when he felt the Chuunin’s forehead with his hand. “We have to get you to Tsunade-sama.”

“M-mmh…” Iruka curled even more into the sheets.

“Iruka, have you felt sick yesterday already?” Kakashi gently shook his shoulder. “Iruka, please. You have to tell me.”

“A little… evening…”, the Chuunin murmured. “Sleepy now…”

-----

“It’s just a flu, nothing serious”, Tsunade declared. “Just keep him warm and feed him chicken soup, and he’ll be fine again in some days.”

“Are you sure?”, Kakashi asked softly while he dragged the blanket just a little bit higher under the Chuunin’s chin. “That it’s nothing serious, I mean?” And it was all his fault for letting him stay in the cold water and sitting with a sweaty and… well, sticky Iruka on the couch for too long. He should have taken him somewhere warm immediately or-

“Don’t worry, mother hen.” The Sannin chuckled. “Half of the shinobi have the flu at the moment. Has he been with any of them lately?”

“Anko was here the day before yesterday.” For ‘chatting’ she’d called it. More like for babbling Iruka’s ears off and keeping him from snuggling.

“Ah, there you have it. She’s sick, too, at the moment.”

“Hrn.” Kakashi snorted. She deserved to be sick, that Anko. How could she dare to infect his Iruka?

“Seems your mask prevented you from becoming ill, too”, Tsunade guessed. “You should keep it up for the next days so you can take care of your precious Iruka and not get sick, too.”

“Okay”, Kakashi murmured reluctantly. And how was he supposed to kiss Iruka then? “So, bed rest and soup?”

“Yes. And I’ll give you some fever-reducing medicine in case it gets worse. And-”

“Ka… shi?”

Kakashi immediately was beside the Chuunin. “Shh, Iruka. I’m here. Go back to sleep.”

“Too warm…” Iruka tried to get the blanket off his body.

“No, don’t do that”, Kakashi whispered. “You’ve got the flu, Iruka. You have to stay warm.”

“Flu?”

“M-hm.” Kakashi stroked over his sweaty hair. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

Iruka frowned. “Always have… to do that…”

“I don’t mind at all”, Kakashi told him softly. “In fact, I like to take care of you. That way, I can make sure that you’re alright.”

“Thank… you…” Iruka’s eyes closed slowly.

“No, thank you”, Kakashi whispered back, so softly that only the Chuunin could hear it. “For letting me care.”

Iruka just smiled tiredly.

“You know, if some of the people having you in their bingo books could see you now, they would laugh their asses off”, Tsunade declared.

Kakashi ignored her. What did she or anybody else know? They could never understand what Iruka made him feel.

“You know”, Tsunade said softer, more seriously. “You’re right to try to wrap your Iruka in cotton wool.” She patted the Jounin’s shoulder gently. “Hold him fast, Kakashi, care and let him care. He’s probably the best that will ever happen to you. And the other way round, too, I guess. Be happy that you found each other.” And before the Copy-nin could respond anything, she turned around and left.

----- ----- -----

“I hnate bneing snick”, Iruka declared grumpily on the third of his flu-induced bed-days.

“I can understand that.” Kakashi chuckled. “I don’t like ‘bneing snick’ either.”

“Don’ make fnun of mne.” Iruka pouted.

“But you’re so cute when you’re grumpy”, Kakashi laughed softly. That and grumpy was so much better than sweaty and weak and feverish.

“Meany.”

“‘Meany’? ‘Mea-’ I’m sorry, but did you just call me ‘meany’?”

“Yes.” Iruka pouted more.

“And then you have the nerve to tell me that you’re not cute? When you’re even cute while insulting me?”

“Mean meany.” Iruka turned his head away and sniffled indignantly.

“Aw, don’t do that to me”, Kakashi whined. “You know I’m suffering when you ignore me.”

“Den don’ bne a meany.” Iruka peeked at him from the corner of his eye.

“I’ll be good now”, Kakashi assured. “No meany anymore.”

“Hrn.” Iruka snorted but turned around. “Meany”, he murmured before he blew his nose, then sniffled.

“Would you like something to eat now?”, Kakashi asked. “Or a tea?”

“Tea”, Iruka decided. “Kakashi?”

“Hm?” The Jounin stopped in his movements to get up and instead sat down again.

“Thank you. For taking care of me.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Kakashi stroked his cheek tenderly. “I have nothing I would rather do.”

“But… but still.” Iruka looked down at his hands. “You do so much for me, and-”

“Iruka.” Kakashi placed a finger on his lips. “Iruka, I wa- I like to take care of you. I like to be with you. For the first time in years, I feel as if I am where I belong.”

“Really?”, Iruka breathed, his eyes wide.

“Yes, really.” Kakashi smiled. “I like to take care of you, Iruka. And when you’re fine again, and I mean completely fine, then I will be there for you still and still stay with you. If you wa- if you would like that, that is.”

Iruka nodded immediately, grinning but also blushing. “You know I wan-” He broke off and blinked, then sighed. “Would like that.”

“Perfect.” Kakashi leaned forward and gave him a masked kiss. He belonged here, he knew that. And he wished that Iruka would allow him to stay despite what he’d done.

----- ----- -----

“Hey, Kakashi.”

“Hm?” The Copy-nin looked away from the Chuunin in the kitchen to the crouched figure on the windowsill. “Hey, Jiraiya. In town again?”

“Only today for a meeting with my publisher. I’m leaving tomorrow morning with the kid again.”

“Then Naruto’s probably coming over soon? Iruka will like that.” Kakashi smiled. The Chuunin had almost completely recovered from his flu again and would certainly be happy for a distraction since Kakashi was determined not to let him go outside for another day or so.

“Probably. And I already heard you have to babysit”, Jiraiya said, grinning, while he entered the apartment and sat down on the couch next to the Jounin. “Sounds like fun.”

“It’s not babysitting”, Kakashi told him. “I take care of Iruka and make sure that he’s alright.” And if the other was here to do anything fishy with the Chuunin in his charge, the Sannin would find himself thrown out of the window before he could even have said ‘Icha Icha’.

“Whatever.” Jiraiya shook his head. “Where is he?”

“In the kitchen and making dinner.” Kakashi grinned. “If you’re lucky, he’ll invite you.”

“Good cook?”

“Very.” One of the reasons why he’d agreed to Iruka getting up and making dinner that day despite of him still recovering. Another reason had been big, pleading eyes looking at him and a pair of irresistible lips pouting.

“Then I have to make sure to behave.”

“That won’t get you anywhere”, Kakashi laughed. “If he doesn’t w- like the idea of you staying, he just won’t take out a plate for you, and that’ll be it.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. Some days ago Anko came to visit and made some… rather dirty jokes about teachers and pupils”, the Copy-nin said. “And Iruka didn’t say anything, just took the third plate off the table again.”

“Priceless!”, Jiraiya laughed. “So Iruka-sensei’s famous politeness really isn’t stronger than the jutsu?”

“No.” Kakashi sighed. “In his… condition, you can either demand something with that word and he can’t refuse – and I’ll kill you if you try that – or you can just hope that he likes the idea and decides to do it.”

“Someone’s getting protective, eh?”, Jiraiya asked. “Very unlike you.”

“Maybe”, Kakashi murmured, then looked up when Iruka entered the room.

“Good evening, Iruka-sensei”, Jiraiya greeted him. “How do you feel today?”

The Chuunin smiled and answered, “Very good, thank you, Jiraiya-sama. How is Naruto?”

“Great. But you can ask him yourself, he’ll certainly come here soon”, Jiraiya said.

“Oh, that’s wonderful.” Iruka smiled brightly. “Then I’ll make more dinner.”

“What do you w- Why are you here, Iruka?”, Kakashi asked softly while he still enjoyed seeing the beautiful smile on his face. “Would you like me to do something?”

“I… I only…” The Chuunin bit his lower lip and threw an unsure glance at the Sannin, but then took a step forward until he was right in front of the Copy-nin. He bent down and placed a soft kiss on his masked lips before he smiled and went back into the kitchen.

“Wow”, Jiraiya murmured after some silence. “Is he doing that often?”

“M-hm…”, Kakashi sighed absent-mindedly and craned his neck to catch a glimpse at Iruka through the door. He looked back at his companion when he heard the Sannin laugh.

“You know”, Jiraiya told him, “you really seem to have it bad.”

“I know.” Kakashi sighed. “I just wished I knew whether he really… really does this because he…”

“Feels that way?”

“M-hm.” The Copy-nin nodded and sighed. “I don’t know if this is really what he wa- … You know.”

“I don’t see why he should kiss you although he doesn’t want i-”

“Shh!”, Kakashi hissed. “Don’t say that word!” He hurriedly got up from the couch to look at the Chuunin, but to his greatest relief Iruka was still moving around in the kitchen and didn’t seem to have heard the Sannin. Sighing, Kakashi went to sit down again.

“I’m sorry”, Jiraiya murmured.

“It’s alright. He didn’t hear.” Kakashi shook his head. “And it’s not that it would be a catastrophe if somebody said the word to him, it’s just…” He sighed. “It hurts when he gets that empty look in his eyes.”

“I understand.” The Sannin grinned. “You know, this would make a really good Icha Icha story. A woman unable to deny anything and a noble hero trying to defend her from the villains who try to take advantage of her.”

“And where’s the porn in that?”, Kakashi asked. Icha Icha without porn… Now really, Jiraiya was a nice guy, but the Jounin didn’t read his books for their storylines.

“Well, the hero would only make sure that no other than he gets the woman, but he could have lots and lots of passionate sex with her.”

“You would make him rape her?” The Copy-nin arched an eyebrow in surprise and more than only slight disgust. He hadn’t know that his old friend would ever step that low as to write rape as entertainment.

“No! She’s deeply in love with him since the beginning!”, Jiraiya assured.

Kakashi shook his head. “It would still be rape.”

“No, it wouldn’t. Not if she lov-”

“Yes, it would!”, the Jounin interrupted briskly. “She wouldn’t be able to deny anything and wouldn’t do it because she wants to but because he wants her to. Where’s the difference between that and taking advantage of a drunk or drugged or using force?”

“But…” Jiraiya frowned deeply. “Well… okay…”

“See?” Kakashi sighed. “And even if he does something on his own accord, I can never be sure if he really wants it.”

“You really have it bad, Kakashi.” Jiraiya patted his shoulder. “I would even say that you have it worst.”

“What shall I do?”, the Jounin whispered.

“I really don’t know.” The Sannin laughed. “I’m not really an expert in affairs of the heart… But I think that if you let Iruka-sensei take the lead, it will be fine. I can’t believe that he would do something like kissing you without wanting it.”

“Maybe.” Kakashi shook his head but didn’t say anything more. If it had only been kissing, he wouldn’t be blaming himself so much now for not resisting.

“Dinner is ready”, he heard Iruka announce, then the Chuunin stepped up towards him and again gave him a kiss.

“How many plates?”, Kakashi asked.

“Four.” Iruka gave him another kiss, his lips this time lingering longer on the Copy-nin’s, then the Chuunin smiled a gentle, wonderful smile that left Kakashi breathless.

“Seems you’re lucky, Jiraiya”, he whispered without taking his eyes from Iruka.

“No. Seems you’re lucky, Kakashi”, he heard the Sannin answer and couldn’t help but agree.

-----

“And then we met those street bandits”, Naruto told his former senseis excitedly. “Ten, no twenty at least! And they were all, ‘Aren’t we big and scary, and now give us all your money’, and all that. But I showed them!”

“But sure…” Iruka looked at his former student doubtfully but with a fond smile on his lips. Kakashi couldn’t quite suppress a smile. The Chuunin was the perfect listener. He found the right times for staring in admiration, for gasping in surprise and even for voicing his doubts that the things Naruto narrated were indeed the truth. It was a gift on its own to be able to watch him.

“It’s true!”, Naruto assured. “Tell him, Ero-sannin!”

“Don’t call me that, brat”, Jiraiya growled back. “And we both know they were hardly half a dozen.”

“But they were big! And strong!” Naruto waved his hands agitatedly. “And I fought them all on my own!”

“You did?!”, Iruka asked, his eyes wide and sparkling with mischief although they also looked a little tired already. “Really?! And Jiraiya-sama didn’t help you?”

“No! That old pervert was busy peeping at some girls bathing in the river!” The blond boy huffed.

“Hey! I was researching. Researching! Alright?” Jiraiya huffed, too, then pouted.

“You were peeping”, Naruto gave back. “Especially at that blond girl with the big-” He broke off and turned beet red.

“Look who’s taking on some new habits”, Kakashi murmured loud enough for everybody to hear.

“Naruto!”, Iruka scolded. “I’m not happy to hear that!” But the Copy-nin could see a small smile tug at the Chuunin’s lips.

“I didn’t really look!”, the boy defended himself. “And they didn’t look any good at all!”

“Ah.” A devilish grin appeared on the Chuunin’s face. “No resemblance to Hinata-chan then, hu?”

“Iruka-sensei!”, Naruto wailed.

“Hinata-chan?”, Kakashi listened up. “You mean that quiet little Hyuuga-girl from Kurenai’s team?”

“She’s not that little anymore. And Naruto is sooo not interested in her.” Iruka winked and grinned.

“Iruka-sensei!”

“I see…” Kakashi scratched his masked chin, enjoying tormenting the boy immensely. “I wonder if they kissed already…”

“Kakashi-pervert-sensei!” Naruto’s face discovered a new shade of red, it seemed.

“I don’t know.” Iruka shrugged. “But I don’t think any of them would really mind to give it a try. Or more than one.”

“Iruka-senseiiii!” The boy let his head fall to the table. “Why are you doing that to me?! I mean, Kakashi-sensei and Ero-sannin… but you?!”

“It’s the jutsu”, Iruka declared, grinning. “Made me lose all my inhibitions and good manners.”

“Really?”, Naruto asked, peeking up at him.

“Mmmh… Nope. I guess that’s just me.”

Naruto groaned. “I bet that’s Kakashi-sensei’s bad influence.”

“I hope so”, Kakashi declared, grinning.

“Pervert”, Naruto grumbled.

“Did you visit her already?”, Iruka asked. “To tell her that you’re alright? I bet she would like that.”

“We’re leaving tomorrow morning already…”, Naruto murmured.

“Then why don’t you visit her right now?”, the Chuunin suggested. “It’s not too late for that yet.”

“I can’t just visit her…”

“And why not?”

“Because… because… What should I say?”

“Just that you are back.”

“Right. I go there and just tell her, ‘Hey, Hinata-chan, I’m back. Bye.’” The boy sighed.

“Not like that, stupid.” Iruka rolled his eyes. “Just… just say, ‘Hey, Hinata-chan. I’m back for some hours and I thought I could just come over and see how you’re doing.’ And then tell her something about your training or about the places you’ve visited. It doesn’t matter what you tell her, just show that you think of her.”

“That’s…” Naruto frowned. “And you’re sure that she’ll like that?”

“Absolutely. She will certainly be very happy to see you and to know that you think of her.”

“Okay…” The boy frowned deeper, then suddenly grinned happily. “That’s a very good plan, Iruka-sensei! You’re the best!” He jumped up and embraced his former teacher happily. “The old pervert suggested to read Icha Icha to her.”

“Well…” Iruka looked at the Sannin, and Kakashi noticed an odd glint in his eyes. “What would you expect from a man who’s scared to ask the woman he’s after for years already out for a date?”

“Wha… That’s…” Jiraiya’s face turned red immediately. “Better be careful about what you’re saying, Chuunin, or-”

“And who doesn’t see that she’s only waiting for him to do that? Who’s too blind to see that all he needs to do is be serious with her and ask her out? So that she doesn’t have to drown her sorrow in sake and then whine about him being a ‘blind, perverted idiot’ to the Chuunin doing her paperwork?” Iruka threw the Sannin a challenging look.

Kakashi witnessed something just as shocking as a silent Naruto then. A stuttering, gaping Jiraiya, blushing like a teenage boy when the little wheels in his head almost visibly started to rotate.

“And if he would only ask said Chuunin”, Iruka continued mercilessly, “he would be told that today is Friday and that on Fridays, a certain woman stays late in her office to do paperwork. On her own.”

Kakashi could hear the clock in the kitchen tick away the seconds while the Sannin across from him just sat there and stared into space. He really wondered how long it would take.

“Whoa, Iruka-sensei!”, Naruto murmured while he poked his frozen teacher into his side without getting a reaction. “You’re amazing!”

“I do my best.” Iruka grinned, but it looked tired. Kakashi decided to give him some more minutes with the boy and then put him into bed.

“How do you know so much about women?”, Naruto asked.

“You just have to listen, Naruto”, Iruka told the boy gently. “You have to listen to everybody, women and men, to understand them. And you also have to hear what they don’t say sometimes.”

“What they don’t say?” Naruto frowned. “I don’t think I understand that…”

“You still have much time to learn that.” Iruka ruffled his hair affectionately.

“Hey, hey, Iruka-sensei!”, Naruto called, grinning cheekily. “How come you don’t have a girlfriend then?”

“Oh… That’s… because…” The Chuunin blushed and threw an unsure glance in Kakashi’s direction.

“Iruka doesn’t need a girlfriend”, Kakashi said and took his hand into his. “And he won’t get one either, because I got him first.” Hey, they would have had to tell the boy some time, so why not right now?

“You?!”, Naruto shouted.

“Me”, Kakashi gave back. So the boy wanted to make a scene. Fine. Should he. But he wouldn’t let him say something that could hurt Iruka.

“Iruka-sensei!” Naruto turned towards his former teacher. “Why him?! Couldn’t you choose someone… less perverted? Like… like Genma-san? Or Kotetsu-san?”

Kakashi stared. Okay, that was… rather unexpected. But not unwelcome. Although he felt a little miffed that Naruto thought that he was more perverted than Genma who was sticking his ‘senbon’ practically everywhere and Kotetsu who had probably already christened every hard surface in Konoha with the help of Izumo and Shizune.

“Naruto, I’m happy with Kakashi”, Iruka told him softly, making the Copy-nin’s heart beat faster.

“And does he treat you well?”, the boy inquired, glaring at his former Jounin instructor. “If he doesn’t…”

“He does.” Iruka smiled at him fondly. “Don’t worry, Naruto. I can take care of myself.”

“Okay, Iruka-sensei. As long as you’re happy…” Naruto sighed deeply. “But I really wish you had a better taste”, he declared.

“Well, I like my taste well enough”, Iruka gave back, smirking at him. “And you shouldn’t judge my taste without even having seen what I chose…”

“Whoa, Iruka-sensei! You saw it?!”, Naruto gasped.

“I did not only see it, I even kissed it.” Iruka grinned.

“Aaah! I didn’t ask for that!”, the blond boy wailed. “Just for how it looks.”

“Could we stop referring to me as ‘it’?”, Kakashi growled.

“Sorry.” Iruka gave him an apologetic kiss.

“Hrn.” Kakashi pouted.

“Don’t do that”, the Chuunin whispered into his ear. “You know I can’t resist that…”

“Stop!”, Naruto shouted. “I don’t need to see you two making out in front of me, really!” He sniggered and once again poked at Jiraiya. “Although it would maybe cure the old pervert.”

“It’s my apartment”, Iruka declared. “I can make out whenever, wherever and with whomever I choose to.” He looked at Kakashi and grinned. “Any objections?”

“Maybe to that ‘whoever’-part.” The Jounin embraced him possessively. Kakashi’s Iruka.

“Mmmh… I might be in the mood to negotiate about that…”

“Alright, alright, that’s enough now!”, Naruto shouted. “Hey, Ero-sannin!” He slapped the man on his shoulder. “Say something to that! Tell them they can’t be all smoochy-kissy with us still here!”

“Hu?” The Sannin blinked. “I…” He blinked again, then his eyes widened suddenly. “I have to go! Somewhere!”, he declared and hurried out of the window, even leaving his sandals behind.

“Was about time”, Iruka murmured.

“Old pervert…” Naruto sighed, then stood up and collected the man’s shoes. “I’ll go then, too.”

“Visiting Hinata-chan?”, Kakashi asked, grinning.

The boy blushed. “Maybe…”

“Would you like to come back afterwards and sleep here?”, Iruka offered. “Kakashi’s futon’s still in the closet.”

“Can I?”

“But sure.”

“Thank you, Iruka-sensei!” The boy jumped the Chuunin, almost throwing him to the floor in the process if Kakashi hadn’t prevented that in the last moment.

“I’ll just leave the window to the living room open for you, alright?”, Iruka gasped softly.

“Alright!” Naruto let go of him and jumped to the window. “See ya! Good night!”

“Good night!”, Kakashi called after him, embracing Iruka tighter. “You missed him, hm?”

“Very much”, Iruka sighed. “I wished he could stay.” He turned around. “But now that I have you, I guess it will be easier to see him leave again.”

“Sure.” Kakashi kissed him. “I’m surprised he took it so well. Us, I mean.”

“I already told him about my… preferences years ago. I couldn’t risk that he one day walked in on me and another man and thought that it was unnatural or wrong. I couldn’t stand him being disgusted of me.”

“I can’t believe that he would ever think about you like that, don’t worry”, Kakashi whispered into the Chuunin’s ear, then carefully walked towards the bedroom, pushing Iruka with him.

“The dishes”, the Chuunin protested softly.

“Can wait”, Kakashi declared. “I can see that your eyes are really small. I have to have you sleep now, else I risk that Naruto thinks I’m not taking good care of you.”

“But you are.” Iruka kissed him softly. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me”, Kakashi whispered. “It’s all my pleasure.”

----- ----- -----

On their next check-up, Kakashi tried his best to ignore the fact that his Hokage looked rather… relaxed. Not to say, laid.

Iruka sniggering behind his back the whole time didn’t help his composure.

Life was unfair.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

AN:
I’m sorry for the long wait, but my new job started and I have much to do and even more to learn. And in two to three weeks I will have to go to court and substitute for the public prosecutor in a real trial! I don’t know if I’m excited or terrified.
Furthermore, I wasn’t sure whether I really wanted Kakashi to ‘give in’ and kept rewriting it again and again. But hey, he’s only human and really tried his best, ne?

Nayru

Your Wish Is My Command, Chapter 4

2007-09-18T09:47:41Z

Your Wish Is My Command

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 4

“Kakashi…”

Kakashi frowned. He didn’t want to wake up. He’d dreamed something incredibly good, so good that he never wanted to wake up again. He just wanted to stay in this dream in which Iruka was with him and wanted to be with him and was kissing him all the time and-

“Kakashi…” And then soft lips on his.

The Jounin snapped his uncovered eye open only to find that he was still dreaming of Iruka. And then he blinked and remembered, and it was even better than dreaming.

“Finally.” Iruka pouted down on him. “I’m so bored, Kakashi.”

“And then you go and wake me up?”, the Copy-nin chuckled. Perfect idea.

“Not at first.” Iruka grinned. “I at first tried to snuggle up to you, but you clutch the blanket so much around you that I couldn’t get under it. And you wouldn’t let go, so I had to wake you up.”

“I never let go of something I really like to have in my arms”, Kakashi told him and immediately pulled him close. “Guess I forgot to warn you, but now it’s already too late for you to run away. Poor Iruka.” But lucky Kakashi.

“Too bad.” The Chuunin chuckled and cuddled closer. “Then I think I will just stay here.”

“Perfect”, Kakashi whispered. “Just stay here and never leave aga-”

A loud knock at the door interrupted him and made both him and the Chuunin freeze.

“Do you think that’s Tsunade-sama?”, Iruka gasped. “Already?”

“I don’t know.” Kakashi frowned deeply while he thought about what to do. “I will go and see who’s at the door. You go into the bathroom and hide there, just in case, alright?” Hiding wouldn’t get them anywhere if it should be indeed the Sannin at the door, but like this he could at least try to keep Iruka out of anything that could turn out ugly.

“Okay”, Iruka whispered, then hastily left the bed and hurried towards the small bathroom. Already there, he turned around again and went back to the bed, leaned down and kissed the Jounin deeply before he disappeared into the bathroom.

Kakashi took a few deep breaths, took his mask from the nightstand and put it on, then also a pair of pants before he slowly went to the door and opened it, recognising the very familiar chakra signature immediately.

“Hokage-sama.”

“Where is he?”, the Sannin hissed, and the Copy-nin could see Raidou stand behind her, fidgeting nervously, and two ANBU.

“I’m sorry?”, Kakashi asked calmly.

“Hatake, you will tell me where he is immediately. And then you will let him go, hand yourself over to the ANBU and let yourself be escorted to the prison.”

“And you’re accusing me of what?” Kakashi couldn’t even feel fear or anger anymore, just determination. He wouldn’t let her take Iruka away from him again. He wouldn’t let that happen.

“Kidnapping, taking of hostages and maybe even rape.”

“Rape?!”, Kakashi shouted incredulously. “You can’t be serious!”

“Hokage-sama”, Raidou murmured. “I really can’t believe that Kakashi-san would ever-”

“You shut up!”, Tsunade yelled. “You will get your share, don’t worry. I trusted you to watch over Iruka-sensei, and I highly doubt that he could get taken away under your nose without you noticing.”

“I won’t let you take him from me”, Kakashi declared calmly. He so didn’t care about any accusation, about rank or duty. He only cared about Iruka, and Iruka only, and he wouldn’t allow anybody to take his Chuunin from him, no matter if they were Hokage or ANBU or anything else. He had been stupid not to stand up against Tsunade the day before, had been stupid to leave Iruka and make him sad, but Iruka had come to him, to him, and he wouldn’t let go of him ever again.

“Oh?” The Sannin snorted. “I really wonder how you will-”

“I won’t leave Kakashi”, Iruka declared suddenly behind the Copy-nin, then moved to stand beside him, glaring.

“Iruka-sensei.” Tsunade sighed. “I’m relieved to see that you’re alright.”

“I’m perfectly fine.” The Chuunin snorted. “I came here on my own free will.”

“Iruka-sensei. You know that the jutsu-”

“I made a decision. Nobody had any influence on me in that matter.”

Tsunade smiled gently. “It’s alright now, Iruka-sensei, you will come with me now and-”

“No.” The Chuunin’s face stayed hard.

“Iruka-sensei, I know that you probably think that it’s alright to stay with Kakashi, but it’s only the jutsu making you think that. If you’d take your time and just come with me to think about everything, you would soon realise that-”

“Shut. Up”, Iruka told her calmly.

Kakashi blinked in surprise and saw Tsunade and Raidou, even the two ANBU under their porcelain masks do the same.

“You know, I’ve had enough of this shit”, the Chuunin declared, and his eyes gleamed dangerously. “I hate it that some people assume that they know what’s best for me without even asking me. It really pisses me off that everybody but me seems to know what I should or shouldn’t do.”

“Iruka”, Kakashi tried to soothe him, “don’t you think you maybe-”

“Oh no!”, Iruka hissed. “Don’t you dare to start doing that, too.” He glared heatedly at Tsunade. “You will not take Kakashi with you, you will not take him away from me and you will not accuse him of these… these stupid… things!”

“Iruka-sensei, you aren’t able to think clearly”, Tsunade said softly. “I will-”

“You will not!”, the Chuunin shouted suddenly. “I don’t care what you think about this! I don’t care that you’re the goddamn Hokage of the goddamn village! I can make my own decisions, the hell! I’m not helpless! Do you think you know what I need?! Do you think you know what’s best for me?! Then listen, lady, because I won’t say this twice: Kakashi is good for me. Shit, Kakashi is best for me, goddammit! And I’m perfectly able to decide what I wa-” A blink. “What I wa-” A frown. “Goddammit!” He stomped with his foot.

Kakashi blinked repeatedly, completely stunned. He absentmindedly remembered Tsunade telling him something about Iruka being less able to control his emotions, but this… He swallowed while he watched the Chuunin, his eyes sparkling menacingly and his face showing pure outrage. Wow…

“I hate this”, Iruka said a little calmer. “I hate being under the effects of the jutsu. It makes me sick to know that I am not able to defend myself against it.” He swallowed hard. “But… but when Kakashi’s with me, everything becomes better and easier to bear. Because I know that he will protect me. I know he made mistakes, I know he took advantage of me once. But I also know that he regrets it and that he will never do it again. And… and…” The Chuunin swallowed again and a tear ran down his cheek.

“Iruka”, Kakashi whispered softly while he desperately tried to keep himself from wiping that tear away and hugging the Chuunin until everything would be good again. “Iruka, don’t get so upset, please. We will sort this out. Together, Iruka.”

“Together… Can’t you understand it, Tsunade-sama?”, Iruka whispered. “Can’t you see? That I need this? That I need Kakashi? Because… because he’s there for me, because he doesn’t assume that I am completely helpless. And he’s the only one… the only one who doesn’t pity me…”

“Iruka”, Kakashi choked out and now gave in and took him into his arms to make him stop hurting. “Nobody pities you.”

“They do. I can see it.” Iruka leaned against him. “I can see it when they look at me. All they see is a little, helpless Chuunin not able to deny what’s demanded from him. Someone to pity because he’s not able to defend himself.” He shook his head. “You never did that. Even before we got close, you never looked at me with pity. You always looked at me with care and tenderness, but never with pity.” The Chuunin wrapped his arms around Kakashi’s waist and hid his face against his chest.

“And when… when I tried to come close to you at first, you didn’t do anything to push me away”, he whispered, his voice muffled by the Copy-nin’s shirt. “But not because you pitied me and didn’t intend to crush a helpless, little Chuunin even more. And everybody else probably would have let me do whatever I felt like just not to make my life even more miserable, but you didn’t pity me, Kakashi. You didn’t see what the jutsu had done to me, but instead you saw me, and only me. And you decided to be with me for how I am and not for how the jutsu made me.” He tightened his hold.

“It hurts, Kakashi”, Iruka whispered. “It hurts that everybody seems to think that I can’t see what’s good for me. And it hurts that it hurts you when you are accused of taking advantage of me although everything you do is to make sure that I am safe and can become strong again. It’s not right that they do this to you, that they try to take you from me. It’s not right that they pity me and accuse you and hurt us both. But I don’t know how to make it right, Kakashi, I don’t know how to keep them from hurting you.”

“It’s alright, Iruka”, Kakashi whispered and felt his Sharingan eye cry. “We will find a way to make it right.” He looked up at the four figures standing motionlessly in his doorframe. “Please leave now. Iruka told you what he thinks is best for him. I won’t hurt him and you shouldn’t either.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “We will meet you tomorrow morning for Iruka’s check-up, Tsunade-sama.” Then he shut the door right into their faces.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi watched the sleeping Chuunin beside him while he stroked with one of his hands over his hair again and again. Iruka’s face looked peaceful and content, and the Copy-nin couldn’t help but wish that it would always look like that, that he would never have to see him sad or angry like the former day.

“But you were brave yesterday, Iruka”, he whispered softly. “So strong and brave. Not helpless or pitiful at all.”

“I was so angry”, Iruka whispered and opened his eyes slowly. “She will probably kill me.”

“You’re awake?”, Kakashi murmured. “And you tricked me?” He chuckled softly.

“M-hm.” Iruka snuggled closer and cuddled up against his chest. “It felt so nice how you stroked my hair.” He pouted playfully. “And now you’ll stop because you know I’m awake.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t stop if you like it that much.” Kakashi grinned and started to gently stroke the Chuunin’s soft hair again. “And I meant what I said. You were amazing yesterday.”

“I try.” Iruka sighed. “When will we have to go to Tsunade-sama for my execution?”

“We still have some time left, I think”, Kakashi said, checking the clock on the nightstand and seeing that they were already late. “Much time. And, by the way, I really doubt that she’ll dare to ever anger you again. I had the impression that you even terrified the ANBU.”

“Yeah, sure.” Iruka snorted. “Very funny.”

“I mean it.” Kakashi chuckled and tilted his head down to kiss him softly. “I saw them shaking in fear.” More standing still in shock, but that was the ANBU equivalent of terror. Seemed as if they hadn’t often before seen a Chuunin give their Hokage a rather impressive piece of his mind…

“Stop making fun of me”, Iruka whispered, then grinned. “Better kiss me?”

“Much better.” Kakashi grinned happily and obeyed instantly, gently parting the Chuunin’s lips with his tongue. He heard Iruka sigh into the kiss and it made shivers run through him, then the Copy-nin gently pushed him backwards until he could roll onto him, arms still around each other and lips melted together.

“Kakashi”, Iruka sighed, and the Jounin felt hands stroking over his back and legs wrap around his waist, and he could feel Iruka even closer to him. And then the hands moved lower and rubbed and squeezed his buttocks gently, and he moved his own to stroke over the Chuunin’s broad chest, hidden by the soft, grey fabric of his sleeping shirt.

“Iruka”, Kakashi whispered and kissed those wonderful, soft, delicious lips again, deciding that he never wanted to taste anything else ever again. He could feel Iruka tighten his legs’ hold around him, and it was good, it was close and warm and perfect, and he didn’t even notice it when he started to move his hips against the Chuunin’s slowly.

Iruka sighed, then again when he lifted his hips and fell into the Jounin’s rhythm, and then he bit his lower lip before he kissed him once again. And Kakashi couldn’t think of anything else than of how good it felt to have Iruka with him, to feel his lips, his touch, his warmth on him, and how he would never let go, never leave, would never allow anybody to take his Chuunin from him.

When Iruka’s sighs became soft moans and even whimpers sometimes, Kakashi increased the speed of his movements, relishing in every gasp, every breathless whisper that fell from the Chuunin’s lips. He desperately wanted to take off his headband to look at Iruka with his Sharingan eye, to memorise everything, but he refused to take his hands off the body beneath him, refused to let go. And he could hear himself whisper into Iruka’s ear, whisper his name again and again, could hear his own breath hitch and soft gasps on every move, but it didn’t mean a thing, meant nothing, nothing, because Iruka meant everything to him.

And when the Chuunin suddenly arched his back towards him and closed his eyes and bit his lower lip and then gave a long, low sigh, Kakashi could feel himself shudder and hastily yanked off his headband to watch him gasp and pant softly, to watch Iruka with both his eyes, his beautiful, wonderful Iruka. Oh, he wanted to see this face again and again, wanted to hear those breathless gasps, wanted to see the pleasure take hold of the Chuunin, pleasure that he alone had caused. And he wanted to feel it, too, wanted to feel how it was to experience this with Iruka, wanted to find his release in the Chuunin’s arms, wanted… wanted…

Kakashi stilled.

“Kakashi…”, he heard Iruka whisper softly, breathlessly, “Kakashi…”

Kakashi looked down at the Chuunin’s face, his unbound hair, closed eyes and flushed lips. He wanted Iruka, so much, he wanted him, wanted to hold him and touch him and feel him and feel how it would be to find completion in his arms, just like the Chuunin had done in his.

But had Iruka wanted this? Really, truly wanted this? And not only done it because Kakashi had wanted it, wanted him, like Tsunade had suspected?

Or had he taken advantage of Iruka again?

“Kakashi”, the Chuunin whispered and wrapped his arms around his neck. “Kakashi, so good…”

“Iruka…”, Kakashi choked out and buried his face into sweaty brown hair. “Iruka, did you really wa- … did… was this what… what…”

“It felt so good”, Iruka murmured. “So, so good, Kakashi. Did you like it, too?”

“I… yes, Iruka”, Kakashi whispered. “I… I just… I… What we did… did you wa- did you… really like it?”

“Yes…” The Chuunin drew him close and nuzzled his face in his neck. “Very much, Kakashi.”

“Good.” Kakashi nuzzled his throat gently. Iruka had liked it, had enjoyed it. That meant that he hadn’t taken advantage of the Chuunin, right? And… and he hadn’t done it for himself. He hadn’t even reached an orgasm, so he couldn’t have taken advantage of Iruka. Right? Right?!

“Kakashi? Didn’t you…”

“Hm?” Kakashi lifted his head, then hastily used his chakra to increase his blood flow and let the sign of his arousal disappear slowly. “Don’t worry about me, Iruka”, he whispered evasively, not wanting to lie to him.

“Then it’s good.” The Chuunin smiled gently, blushing a little, before he lifted his head to kiss him.

“What about you take a shower now?”, Kakashi suggested. “And then we go to Tsunade-sama for your check-up?”

“We could shower together”, Iruka offered, blushing deeper.

“Tempting.” Kakashi forced a smile on his face although it hurt, so very much. “But we’re already late and should better hurry.”

“We can’t be that late.” Iruka turned his head to catch a glimpse at the clock. “It can’t be later than-” He gasped. “It’s that late already?! But you said-”

“I could have misread the time…” Kakashi grinned sheepishly, enjoying the Chuunin’s shocked expression immensely. Because it was better than hurt.

“Sure.” Iruka snorted. “Get off me and let me shower.” He rolled the Jounin off his body and stood up. “I can’t believe it”, he muttered while he went to the bathroom. “I’m late for my execution.”

“You could always yell at her again”, Kakashi suggested. “Oh, and if you’re at it, call her ‘lady’ again, I think she really enjoyed that.” He certainly had.

“Very funny.” Iruka turned around and glared at him, but then the look in his eyes softened. “I meant everything I said yesterday”, he said softly and went back to the bed to kiss the Copy-nin sweetly. “That you’re with me helps me to endure this.” Another kiss. “And I know you’ll never hurt me or take advantage of me.” A nuzzle. “Everything you do is only to protect me and help me become strong again and make me feel better.” A grin and a blush. “And right now you made me feel very much better. We definitely have to do that again soon.”

“M-hm.” Kakashi nodded and swallowed hard. He knew he shouldn’t but he wanted that. So very much.

-----

“Please excuse us, Hokage-sama”, Kakashi said while he held the door to her office open for Iruka to enter. “We’re sorry that we’re late, but Iru- but we wa- decided to walk.” That was at least partly the truth, only that they had been late before already.

“Walk?”, Tsunade asked. “Don’t you think that’s too dangerous?”

“I have earplugs”, Iruka told her while he removed the second one, grinning brightly. “Sneaky, eh?”

“Indeed.” The Sannin arched an eyebrow. “How do feel today, Iruka-sensei? You seem to be rather… in high spirits.”

“Oh.” Iruka blushed brightly. “That’s… that’s…” He threw a glance at Kakashi. “I’m just… so happy to be with Kakashi again.”

“Is that so?” Tsunade didn’t seem convinced.

“Yes.” Iruka’s smile became more serious, but still it was more beautiful than anything Kakashi had ever seen. “He gives me the strength that the jutsu seems to take from me. Even just walking around in the village with him makes me feel as if everything’s alright.” He turned around and held out his hand for the Jounin to take it. “I haven’t felt this… warm and safe and… and good in years”, he whispered hoarsely.

“Iruka-sensei…” Tsunade sighed. “I-”

“I will not let you take him from me”, Iruka interrupted her. “I won’t let that happen, and I will-”

“It’s alright, Iruka-sensei.” The Sannin held her hands up defensively. “I didn’t intend to take your Kakashi from you.”

“Oh.” Iruka blinked. “Good.” Then he chewed on his lower lip and whispered, “My Kakashi…”, as if trying to taste the words.

Kakashi smiled under his mask and gently squeezed the Chuunin’s hand in his, deciding that he wanted nothing more than to be ‘Iruka’s Kakashi’ for as long as Iruka allowed.

Tsunade smiled, too. “Iruka-sensei, you will stay with Kakashi until the jutsu will have vanished again. If that’s what you wish, that is.”

“Alright.” Iruka nodded carefully. “And…”

“No ‘and’”, Tsunade told him. “I won’t try to decide for you again.” She sighed. “Iruka-sensei, I… I apologise. I’m really sorry that I just assumed that you were completely unable to decide on your own. It’s… Please believe me that I always only wa- intended to do what’s best for you. Although I did everything wrong, it seems.”

“Oh.” The Chuunin smiled. “It’s alright, Tsunade-sama.”

“It’s not. But still thank you.” She nodded. “Would you now please let me and Kakashi have a few words?”

“I don’t wa- I don’t think Iruka should be left out”, Kakashi contradicted. He didn’t like the thought that the Chuunin might feel as if he still wasn’t taken seriously. And he didn’t like the thought of Iruka going where he couldn’t see him.

“This’ll be something just between the two of us”, Tsunade declared.

“I still-”

“It’s alright.” Iruka smiled reassuringly. “I’ll wait outside.” He turned to leave.

“Don’t forget your earplugs”, Kakashi shouted after him right before the door closed. Who knew what dangers were waiting outside the door? Lecherous ANBU maybe or sneaky assistants or-

“You care about him?”, he heard Tsunade ask.

“Yes.” Although ‘caring about’ wasn’t enough of a word to describe it anymore, Kakashi guessed.

“I do, too.”

“I know.”

“If you take advan-”

“I won’t.”

“Just in case you should, I promise you’ll regret it.”

“Just in case I should, I won’t need you for that.”

Several moments passed in which Jounin and Hokage just looked at each other, trying to read the other’s mind.

“Good.” Tsunade nodded finally. “I think that’s all. You can go now.”

“Good.” Kakashi nodded and bowed shortly, but then hesitated. “Tsunade-sama?”

“Yes?”

“What you said… about Iruka only doing things because he senses that I want him to. Do you really think that’s true?” Please not, oh god, please not. He didn’t think he could stand the thought of Iruka not truly wanting him back, of having taken advantage of the Chuunin.

“I did. That is, until yesterday.” The Sannin sighed.

“Then you think it’s not like that now?”, Kakashi asked hopefully.

“I… I can’t say that with complete certainty.” Tsunade sighed again. “But I’m… rather sure that it’s not the case.”

“But I can’t be completely sure?” And he had to be completely sure, he had to.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Kakashi sighed. “But Iruka probably knows and does what he wants as long nobody says the word to him?” Like knowing that he wanted him and therefore letting him close?

“Probably. Something happened?”

“Nothing.” Kakashi shook his head, shame and guilt and fear burning inside him.

“Then just make sure not to do something Iruka-sensei doesn’t want.” Tsunade smiled softly. “And now out here. Go to your Iruka.”

Kakashi’s Iruka. Yes, Kakashi wanted that. And he would do anything not to risk to lose that.

-----

“I can’t believe that everything went so smoothly”, Iruka sighed the moment he closed the door of his apartment behind himself and Kakashi.

“You were already prepared to give her another scolding, weren’t you?”, the Jounin teased. He would have liked that.

“Hrn.” Iruka snorted and shook his head. And then he pounced suddenly.

“Whoa!”, Kakashi gasped when he found his back pressed against the hard wood of the door. “Iruka, wha-” Soft yet forceful lips and an eager tongue quickly silenced him.

“My Kakashi”, Iruka growled against his lips, making the Jounin’s eyes widen. “My Kakashi. And I won’t let anybody take you from me ever again. Do you hear me? You’re mine now and I won’t let you go ever again.”

“Iruka…”, Kakashi gasped. Wow, this was new. Iruka being forceful and possessive and aggressive and… Wow. Wow. He liked that quite a lot.

Too much, to be precise.

“My Kakashi”, Iruka repeated and kissed him once again, practically claiming him with his lips. He closed the space between them and pressed the Jounin further against the wood, sliding his hands to fist in his silver hair.

Kakashi closed his eyes and just let Iruka do with him whatever he wanted for a while, enjoyed teeth and lips and hands and tongue and everything he craved for so very, very much. He felt that he was just about to forget everything but Iruka, and a part of him screamed to just let go and do that, to forget and enjoy and not think and just feel. And he wanted that, wanted that so much, just for a while, just for a little while and… and…

“Iruka?”, he whispered when they parted for air.

“Yes?” The Chuunin’s voice was husky.

Kakashi opened his eye and looked into deep brown eyes full of lust and desire and at full, kiss-flushed lips. He swallowed hard and willed his self-control to survive just a little longer. It was hard though, almost too much for him, until he reminded himself of how he had seen Iruka cry the day before and how much worse it would be if the Chuunin would cry because he’d abused him.

“I thought we could… go for a picnic”, he forced out the first thought that came to him.

“A… a picnic?”, Iruka asked incredulously.

“Yes.” Kakashi did his best to look oblivious. “I’ve been planning to take you for one for days, and today we have such good weather.” Pathetic.

“And you thought about that just now?”

“…Yes.” Kakashi took a deep breath and made one last desperate attempt to save himself. “I couldn’t help but think about how perfect you would look lying on the forest floor with the sun falling on you through the trees.” Alright, so he was actually quoting Icha Icha right now. But he was desperate.

Iruka kept staring at him and Kakashi already thought that he would have to explain himself and say the truth that time when the Chuunin started to blush slowly. “Oh”, he breathed. “That’s… I…”

“So you like the idea?”, Kakashi asked carefully. The more he thought about it, the more he liked it himself. Just imagining Iruka lying on a bed of fallen leaves and soft grass with rays of sun speckled over him, all over his tan skin, was enough to make his heartbeat speed up.

Kakashi swallowed. Maybe it hadn’t been a good idea at all.

“Sounds wonderful”, Iruka whispered and smiled softly, still blushing. “Let me just get a blanket and make some sandwiches.” And with that, he kissed the Jounin’s lips once again and then went to his bedroom.

Kakashi sighed deeply and slid down on the door to collapse on the floor. He didn’t know how he should resist this for any second, minute, hour, day longer, and for an uncertain amount of time even. He’d never before felt this much out of control, in the danger to lose himself and just act on impulse, just give in to his desires. But he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t just do what he wanted. Not when he couldn’t be completely sure that Iruka wanted it, too.

-----

“Kakashiiii…”

“Nope.” The Jounin tightened his hold.

“Kaaaakaaaashiiii…”

“No way in hell.” Ah, soft hair right in front of his face, begging to be nuzzled. How convenient.

“You’re mean.” And a grumble.

“I’m lazy right now.” Kakashi yawned. “It’s so nice to lie here with you on the grass with a full stomach.” That and it was safe.

“Would be even nicer if you finally would let me turn around”, Iruka told him.

“Equally nice”, Kakashi corrected. “But not nicer, so there’s no reason to move.” And it was safer for Iruka like this, with his back to his chest and not able to do all the things that would have Kakashi spinning and wanting too much.

“Lazy Jounin”, Iruka accused but there was a smile in his voice. “At least give me a belly-rub?”

“What are you, a cute little Chuunin-dog?”, Kakashi asked back but did as wished.

“Whateverrrr…”, Iruka sighed at the caress, then stretched his body slowly in the embrace and convinced the Copy-nin that he rather was a feisty little Chuunin-cat.

A dangerously tempting feisty little Chuunin-cat when sighing and moving like that.

Kakashi sighed. But he would be strong.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi’s thoughts were racing. He had to think of something, had to find a reason why he couldn’t- oh. Oh. That was nice. That was very nice.

“Kakashi…”, Iruka whispered into his ear while he gently rubbed, stroked and tickled invisible pattern over the Jounin’s back. Then he lifted his head from the couch and kissed him.

Kakashi closed his eyes and kissed back passionately. Those damn kisses. Those damn, perfect, delicious, irresistible kisses. They always made him lose his self-control. But he had to stop this fast. He couldn’t go any further.

“Iruka?”, he gasped, using the last of his willpower to lift his body from the Chuunin’s.

“Hm?” Iruka looked at him with big eyes, surprise and something else in his gaze. “What’s wrong, Kakashi?”

“Nothing.” The Jounin tried a reassuring smile. “I just… thought you would like a foot massage.”

“Not as much as I would like you lying on me and kissing me again.” Iruka lifted his hands and tried to draw him down again.

“Oh, but I’m good at foot massages”, Kakashi assured rather desperately.

“Kiiiiss…”, Iruka whined softly, pouting.

“Please.” Kakashi batted his eyelashes, trying to look playful, and forced a lecherous grin on his face. “To be honest, I plan to make you all happy and boneless and then have my wicked way with you.” It hurt to even only say it, no matter that he didn’t mean it.

“Hm, alright then.” Iruka grinned and let his arms fall down again.

“Okay.” Kakashi hastily sat up and moved to the Chuunin’s feet, lifted them into his lap and started to knead the first one gently. He was immediately rewarded with a low moan.

“Mmmmh… you’re really good…”, Iruka sighed softly.

“S-see?”, Kakashi choked out, trying to force the images out of his head that were caused by the sounds the Chuunin made.

“Mmmmmmmh…”, Iruka sighed again and closed his eyes, then settled for little, low gasps and soft moans while Kakashi worked his magic. By the time the Jounin thought both feet relaxed enough, he was asleep.

“Please forgive me”, Kakashi whispered while he stood up carefully, then kissed his hair. “But I can’t risk to hurt you.” He bent down and gently lifted the sleeping Chuunin in his arms to carry him to the bed.

----- ----- -----

Panting heavily, Kakashi sank down against the closed door of the bathroom. How should he survive this? Wasn’t it enough that he had to live with an ever-present temptation he wasn’t allowed to give in to? Did that temptation now really have to go over to walking around shirtless?

----- ----- -----

“Thanks for the fast service”, Kakashi called while he took the bag with the ramen cups.

“Thank you for the order”, the owner of the Ichiraku’s answered.

“And thank you for taking care of Iruka-sensei”, his daughter said softly. “Please make sure that he becomes fine and can come here again soon.”

“I will.” Kakashi eyed her closely. That was just concern for the- for his Chuunin, wasn’t it? Or was there more?

“He’s always so kind and gentle”, the girl continued. “I hope he’ll be alright again soon.”

“I’m sure the first thing he’ll do when he’s fine again will be coming here”, Kakashi assured. And he would come with Iruka. She was probably just worried, but one could never be too careful…

He turned and jumped up on a near rooftop, then went for the Chuunin’s apartment, smiling softly under his mask when he thought about how Iruka would smile when he would surprise him with the ramen. He’d just said that he’d go and get food, but not what exactly. Iruka would be so happy.

Ah, and Genma probably liked ramen, too.

A small frown crossed the Jounin’s face. Genma was fun to have around and all, but… Well, was it very selfish to wish that the Special Jounin hadn’t come earlier to visit Iruka? The Chuunin had been rather pleased at that, but still… Kakashi would have liked to spend the day with Iruka alone.

Kakashi shrugged. It couldn’t be helped, and maybe it was even better that he wasn’t alone with Iruka. It had been… increasingly difficult for him to resist against the ever-present temptation the Chuunin meant for him. More than once he’d found himself so very too close to giving in, enchanted by the way Iruka looked, smiled, laughed, smelled kissed blushed-felt-offered-tasted-

Kakashi swallowed. Not going there, not going there… He knew giving in would be heaven, would be perfection, bliss, fulfilment, but… but it might also be hurt, betrayal, abuse.

The thought alone made him hurt all over.

He wouldn’t risk to hurt Iruka, never. He couldn’t risk that, couldn’t risk to lose the Chuunin like that. He would rather leave him than hurt him.

Sighing, Kakashi opened the door to Iruka’s apartment and went into the kitchen to place his bag on the counter.

“Iruka?”, he called. “Iruka, guess what I have for you.”

Only silence answered.

“Iruka?” Kakashi frowned. “Genma?”

Again, only silence. And then a-

Kakashi froze. That… Had that been… a moan? Had he heard Genma moan just then? But that couldn’t be, why would the Special-

It happened again.

Immediately, the Copy-nin whirled around and flew into the living room, but then froze again at the sight in front of him.

Then Kakashi saw red.

-----

Kakashi looked down to the floor of the Hokage’s office between his feet. He should have known that it was a bad idea to leave Genma, to leave anybody alone with Iruka. He should have known that it would end this way or even worse if he wasn’t there to protect his-

“What were you thinking?!”, Tsunade shouted. “He’s lying in the hospital now! You broke his nose and two of his ribs!”

Kakashi stayed silent and just looked into her eyes calmly. He sensed Iruka flinch behind him on every shout and felt the overwhelming desire to hug and comfort the Chuunin but resisted although it took all of his willpower.

“So”, Tsunade hissed finally. “Anything you have to say?”

“Genma took advantage of Iruka”, Kakashi told her as calmly as possible. “I left them for only ten minutes to get Iruka ramen from Ichiraku’s and when I came back, Genma had told him to massage his neck.” He felt his hands clench to fists and shake violently at the thought, at the memory of his own abuse of the Chuunin this caused.

“Oh.” Tsunade’s eyes widened.

“He had used the word to force him, I could see it in Iruka’s eyes”, Kakashi continued through gritted teeth. “And Genma was… he was moaning… and… and I… and I…”

“Kakashi”, Iruka whispered and moved to stand beside him. “Please don’t be so upset. Nothing bad happened and-”

“Did too!”, the Copy-nin interrupted him harshly. “He was abusing you! He was taking advantage of you!”

“Kakashi.” Iruka smiled softly. “It’s alright now. You were there for me.”

“But…” Kakashi swallowed hard. “But what if I hadn’t been? What if-”

“You know Genma, he’s not somebody to abuse anybody. And I know him for years and have given him a massage like that quite often before. He would never have gone farther than that, and I’m sure that he didn’t force me intentionally. I’m sure that the word just slipped and he didn’t notice.” The Chuunin took his hand gently. “And you were there, that alone counts.”

“But-”

“Shh.” Iruka squeezed his hand reassuringly. “It’s fine. I’m fine. And I know that you’ll protect me as long as I can’t protect me myself.”

Kakashi only nodded. He knew that he’d overreacted. But he hadn’t been able to hold himself back when he’d seen the empty look in Iruka’s eyes.

“So that’s what happened”, Tsunade said slowly. “I will have to talk to Genma then.”

“Tell him that if he ever dares to come near Iruka again, I will break his neck”, Kakashi hissed. He didn’t care whether it had happened intentionally or not, he just-

“You’re getting more protective every day, Kakashi”, Tsunade observed.

But he had to! “I-”

“I like that.” She grinned. “It shows me that Iruka is safe with you. In every way possible I mean.”

“I promise.” Kakashi nodded. He would protect Iruka from everybody wanting to take advantage of him. Even from himself.

“Good.” Tsunade nodded back. “Now go home, you two. I will take care of this for now.”

----- ----- -----

Kakashi groaned and shook his head. Of all possible excuses to escape the risk of going too far with Iruka he had to take one like that?! And he was supposed to be a genius!

Another sigh escaped the Copy-nin’s lips while he let his gaze roam over the roofs in front of him. Now where to find a Santa Clause costume in March?

----- ----- -----

“I’m going!”, Kakashi shouted towards the bedroom where Iruka was changing and went to the door, pulling his mask over his face. He opened and then immediately tried to close the door again when he saw who was there.

“Kakashi-san”, Genma said softly and quickly put his foot between door and frame.

“Leave”, the Copy-nin growled.

“Kakashi-san, I wa- I’m here to apologise to Iruka.”

“I’ll tell him.” Kakashi tried to close the door again.

“Please.” Genma looked at him pleadingly. “Can I see him?”

“No.” Kakashi kicked the Special Jounin’s foot out of the doorway, then shut the door in his face. There. Now Genma could never again hurt Iruka and never again take advantage of him and never again remind the Jounin of how he himself had done that and-

“Who was it?”, Iruka asked behind him suddenly.

“Nobody”, Kakashi lied, then scowled when that nobody had the nerve to knock again. He chose to ignore it.

“Kakashi?” Iruka arched an eyebrow.

“Yes?”

“The door?”

“Yes?”

Iruka rolled his eyes. “Alright, enough of that. Open.”

“Open what?”

“Kakashi…” The Chuunin glared at him. “I’ll get it.” He reached out.

“No.” Kakashi took his wrist before he could grab the doorknob. “Don’t.”

“Why not?” Iruka shook his hand free again. “Kakashi, you’re really going on my nerves now.”

“But…” The Copy-nin sighed. “Alright.” He turned towards the door again, made sure that he was standing between Iruka and his visitor and opened.

“Kakashi-san, I really have to-” Genma broke off when he looked behind the Jounin. “Iruka.”

“Genma.” The Chuunin smiled gently. “Would you like to come insi-”

“No.” Kakashi glared at the Special Jounin. “Just apologise and then leave again.”

“Kakashi!”, Iruka gasped.

“He won’t come near you”, Kakashi told him. “I won’t let him get any nearer to you ever again and-”

“Kakashi”, Iruka said sternly.

“No.” The Copy-nin shook his head although he now knew why Naruto had ever only talked about the Teacher Voice of the Chuunin in a low, almost frightened whisper.

“Kakashi.”

“But Iruka!” Kakashi resisted the sudden urge to look to the floor. “He used the word on you and I can’t let him come near to you and-”

“Kakashi.”

“But I don’t like it that he comes close to you…”, Kakashi murmured and found himself scratching the floor with his foot.

“Genma.” Iruka looked at the Special Jounin. “I’m sorry, but could you come back tomorrow? For lunch maybe?”

“I… I…” Genma looked from the Chuunin to Kakashi and back. “I only… I’m sorry, Iruka”, he murmured finally. “I didn’t intend to force you to do-”

“I know”, Iruka interrupted him gently. “I know, Genma. And Kakashi knows, too, doesn’t he?” He directed a stern look at the Copy-nin.

“I-” Kakashi broke off when the Chuunin’s brows drew together even more. “Yes…”

“And he’s terribly sorry for being rude, isn’t he?”

“Yes…”, Kakashi murmured.

“Perfect.” Iruka smiled brightly. “Lunch tomorrow, Genma?”

“I… I think I’d like that…”, the Special Jounin decided slowly. “I guess…”

“Wonderful.” Iruka nodded. “Would you now please excuse us?”

“Okay.” Genma nodded eagerly. “Bye!” And with that, he sprinted down the hallway and was gone.

“Iruka…” Kakashi carefully looked at the Chuunin after he heard the door close.

“Kakashi.” Iruka glared at him. “You will never again treat me like that.”

“But I-”

“You will never again make decisions for me like that.”

“I…” Kakashi sighed and shook his head when he realised what he’d done. “I’m sorry. I just… I was worried.”

“That I couldn’t take care of myself?” The Chuunin’s voice was soft suddenly, soft and hurt.

“No.” Kakashi wanted to take him in his arms but wasn’t sure whether he was allowed to. “Not like that. I just… I was worried that you could get hurt.” He shook his head. “And now I hurt you. Sorry.”

“Kakashi…” Iruka sighed and shook his head but then opened his arms. “Come here.”

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi repeated while he hurried into the embrace. “I just thought of how you look when you hear the word and how much it hurts to see you like that and that I used the word on you and-”

“Shh…” Iruka hugged him tighter and rubbed his back soothingly. “Just don’t do it again, alright?” He chuckled softly. “Although you look hot when you’re possessive.”

“I tried to look menacing”, Kakashi murmured. To scare that Genma away. And then scare everybody else away from Iruka.

“Oh, and you did. Very.” Iruka chuckled again.

“Hrn.” Kakashi hid his face in the Chuunin’s hair. He would love to lock Iruka away somewhere only he could go, somewhere nobody else could see or talk to or hurt him. But he would hurt Iruka with that, he knew that, and so he would have to accept it that other people came close to his Chuunin. It wouldn’t be easy, but he would learn to take that risk. And it was nothing compared to the risk he himself meant for Iruka.

----- ----- -----

“The bath’s free now”, Kakashi heard Iruka announce behind him.

“Alright, thanks.” He put away his book and stood up from the couch. “I will-” He gasped. Iruka was almost naked except for the towel around his waist and the one over his shoulders. And still dripping wet from the shower. And he definitely was a dream come true. A wet dream come true.

“Kakashi?” The Chuunin looked up from towelling his hair. “Something wro- Mh!”

“Nothing’s wrong”, Kakashi gasped when he reluctantly broke the heated kiss for air. “Everything’s perfect.” He tightened his embrace even more and claimed Iruka’s lips again. God, so perfect, so much tan, smooth skin, so wonderfully soft lips, such a hard, warm body, and all for him, only for him.

“Kakashi…”, Iruka moaned breathlessly and wrapped his arms around his neck. “Mmmh… Don’t stop…”

Never. Kakashi would so not stop this, not for anything in the world. He stumbled forward with Iruka in his arms, in a hurried search for the bed, but tripped over his own feet. He had to use all his shinobi training to catch them both before Iruka hit the floor, and carefully laid the Chuunin down instead.

Iruka just hummed happily at the change of position and squirmed beneath him until he could wrap his legs around the Jounin’s waist. He fisted his hands into the silver hair and thus held an unresisting Kakashi’s head in place to kiss him deeply.

God, what had he ever done to deserve this? Kakashi moaned while he let his hands stroke over every inch of naked skin available. Iruka, his Iruka, all naked and wet and oh-so-eager. And now he could finally claim him as his completely, this gorgeous, squirming Chuunin in his arms, and Iruka would be his, only his. And he would never let him go again, never, he would even somehow convince Iruka to let him move into his apartment, even after the effects of the jutsu would have worn o-

Shit.

Kakashi flinched. Not good. Not good.

“Kakashi…”, Iruka sighed into his mouth. “Do that again…”

He couldn’t think, couldn’t even remember what he’d just done. He had to stop this before he lost control even more, before he hurt Iruka.

“Don’t tease…”, Iruka whined softly. “Mean Kakashi…”

“Iruka… Iruka, I…” Kakashi blinked repeatedly, trying to think of something, anything.

“Hmmm?” The Chuunin licked over his lips, then towards his right ear where he started nibbling.

“You’re getting cold”, Kakashi told him hastily. “Here on the floor, I mean.” After all, Iruka was almost naked. And wet. And naked. And soft skin. And hard muscles beneath. And naked. And wet. And-

“Mmmh… What about we go to the bed?” Iruka smirked up at him.

Yes! Yes! To the bed! With a naked and wet and naked Iruka! And then-

“I… I’m smelly”, Kakashi forced out. “I have to shower.”

“You’re not smelly.” Iruka sniffed his neck. “I like how you smell.”

“But… but I stink”, Kakashi assured. “Bad.” Other than Iruka. Iruka smelled like warm, clean skin and wet hair and-

“You don’t stink.” Iruka sniffed him again, nuzzling his nose against his shivering skin. “And even if you did, I wouldn’t mind.” He nipped the Jounin’s neck. “I like your scent.”

“But… but I really stink”, Kakashi assured desperately. “I… I need to shower.” He didn’t know what to do else, couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“You really intend to shower now?”, Iruka asked softly and laid his head back on the floor, looking at him.

No, no, he didn’t want that. “I… I stink.”

Iruka just kept looking at him, his expression unreadable. Kakashi thought he saw disappointment, but there was something else, too. Insecurity maybe? Or even sadne-

“Would you like me to cook dinner while you take your shower?”, Iruka whispered, looking to the side. “I could make miso ramen.”

“That would be nice.” Kakashi liked miso ramen. Although it wasn’t at all what he wanted.

-----

“Kakashi?”

“M-hm?” The Jounin looked up but Iruka wasn’t looking at him and instead stirred his ramen.

“Does… does it bother you that I’m a man?”, he asked softly.

“No, it doesn’t.” Not anymore, he was finally smarter than that.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Really-really?”

“Really-really.”

“Promise?”

“Iruka.” Kakashi smiled before he leaned over the table and gave the Chuunin a small kiss. “Would I be kissing you if it bothered me?”

“I…” Iruka sighed. “I guess not.”

“See?” Kakashi gave him another kiss, and then a third.

-----

“Already in bed?”, Kakashi asked when he came back from the bathroom. “Are you so tired, Iruka?”

“M-hm.” The Chuunin didn’t turn to face him and snuggled deeper into the sheets, almost hiding beneath them.

“Hm. The earlier we go to bed, the longer I can have you in my arms”, Kakashi declared happily and went to join him. He slipped under the sheets and snuggled up against Iruka’s back, drawing him to his chest and wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Kakashi?”, he heard Iruka ask softly.

“M-hmmm?” He nuzzled his face into the other’s neck, sighing contently at the soft hair brushing over his face. “What is it, Iruka?”

“I… Does…” Iruka sighed. “It’s nothing. Good night.”

“Good night”, Kakashi yawned back.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

AN:
Okay, I hope I saved Tsunade from your wrath now. I see her as a nice, mother-like person who sees her shinobi as slightly annoying but adorable children, therefore the over-reaction here.

Nayru

Dreams

2007-09-14T22:00:17Z

Title: Dreams
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: IrukaxKakashi
Rating: M
Summary: It’s Kakashi’s birthday and nobody except a dream knows.
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

AN:
In honour of Kakashi’s birthday today. But I have to say that I made a friend cry with this and then hit me and tell me that I should be forced to write funny birthday fics, dammit. Sorry again.
Nayru

Dreams

by nayru_kleinefee

Kakashi sighed exhaustedly. Another day, another mission… another night alone, lonely. Only that this night wasn’t like any other, not really, at least not to him. Because, a look at the clock in a shop’s window confirmed, he had just turned twenty-six two minutes ago.

Not that that mattered.

Not to anybody except him at least.

The Jounin sighed again while he saw his apartment building appear in the night. He didn’t blame anybody for not knowing that it was his birthday. After all, he’d never told anybody, had never wanted anybody to know. Although… maybe he should have told his Genin team. Naruto would have certainly invited him for ramen the following evening. And maybe… maybe even he would have come along, maybe-

No. Kakashi shook his head while he stopped in front of his apartment door to search for his keys. He shouldn’t think of him. Because no matter whether he knew about his birthday or not, he would never care. Never. Not in the way Kakashi wanted him to care and not in any other. He had to accept that finally, that it was and would always be a dream.

A dream, nothing more.

Sighing once again, Kakashi opened his door and trudged into his apartment. He was dreaming of him too much these days, it was unhealthy, and most of all it wasn’t right. He really shouldn’t-

The Jounin froze when he finally noticed the presence in his apartment, then gasped when he identified the chakra signature. Could it be true? Could there-

No. Without looking up, Kakashi shook his head. Whatever this was – dream, illusion, whatever – it couldn’t be true. He would never come to him, never. Never.

“Kakashi-sensei?”, the illusion asked softly.

“What are you doing here?”, he asked back but didn’t lift his head. He could only pray that this dream would vanish as soon as possible before he had the chance to hope even more, to yearn, crave and desire even more.

“I… I wanted…” There was a noise, like shuffling, and Kakashi realised that the illusion had chosen to be on his bed.

“Yes?” He almost laughed bitterly. Could it get any worse than this?

“I… am here to wish you a happy birthday”, the illusion whispered softly.

“Nobody knows it’s my birthday today”, Kakashi told it bitterly. There, now he could be sure that this couldn’t be real. He looked up slowly and almost started crying because it still looked so real, so painfully real.

“I…” The illusion scratched its nose and blushed a little. “You know, I… I sneaked into the Hokage’s office and read your file some months ago…”

“Ah.” It hurt. It hurt to see the object of his cravings sit before him and know that it wasn’t real. It hurt to see the scar over its nose, the slight blush he yearned so much for on its cheeks and the soft hair he desired to touch so desperately right within arm’s reach.

“I… I know I shouldn’t have, but…” The dream laughed a little embarrassedly and blushed a little deeper. “Well, I… I just…”

“What are you here for?”, Kakashi asked briskly. He knew the answer already. That thing was there to torment him, to make fun of him. And he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

“I… I have a birthday present for you…”, the dream breathed.

“Ah. What?” Another night full of dreams of loneliness? Another dream in which he was caged and had to look at Iruka laughing with everybody but him?

“I…” The illusion took a deep breath. “Me.”

“You?” No, this was even worse, even more torturing.

“Yes, me…” The dream slowly got up from the bed and approached him. “If you want me.”

“You know I want.” Kakashi turned away. God, it hurt.

“You do?” There was a smile in the illusion’s voice. “Really?”

“Yes…” He needed all his strength not to start crying now.

“I… I wasn’t sure…” Gentle, warm hands touched his back, and they felt real, so real it hurt.

“I… you know I dream of Iruka every night…”, Kakashi whispered. “You know he’s all I can think of…”

“Kakashi…” The dream carefully turned him around. “Why do you talk like that?”

“Stop it”, the Copy-nin pleaded. “I know you’re not him.”

“Not him?” The illusion frowned. “Kakashi, what’s wrong?”

“Leave, please…” Kakashi walked away from it to collapse on his bed. “Don’t torture me anymore with these dreams…”

“But this is no dream.” The illusion followed him and sat down on his side. “You’re not dreaming.” It gently stroked over the Jounin’s hair.

“I have to be.” Kakashi closed his eyes. “He would never come to me.”

“But I’m here.”

“He would never want me.”

“I want you, Kakashi. I-”

“You’re not him!”, the Jounin shouted and sat up again. “Stop saying that!”

“Kakashi…” The illusion looked at him, then a tear formed in its eye and rolled down its cheek. “I didn’t know you were hurting…”

“Stop it”, Kakashi forced out, feeling the tear rip his soul apart despite him knowing that it wasn’t real, not really Iruka’s tear.

“Stop what?” The dream smiled sadly. “Caring about you? Loving you?”, it whispered.

“He doesn’t love me.” Kakashi shook his head.

“I do.”

“You’re not him.”

“I am Iruka.” The illusion smiled – Iruka’s smile and so perfect that it hurt.

“You’re not.”

“I am.” The dream softly stroked over the Jounin’s cheek and it hurt, it hurt so much, and felt so good.

“Please…”, Kakashi whispered. “I don’t want to hope anymore… it hurts too much…”

“Don’t say that”, the dream whispered. “Don’t say that I hurt you.”

“But you do…” Kakashi shook his head. “And I… I can’t…”

“Let me heal you”, the illusion whispered.

“You can’t heal me.” Nobody could, only Iruka, and he would never want to.

“Kakashi…” And then hands were on his mask, pulling it down, and he didn’t try to stop them because they weren’t real after all, and then… and then…

“Doesn’t this feel real?”, the illusion whispered when it broke the soft kiss. “Doesn’t this feel how only a real kiss can feel?”

“It wasn’t real…”, Kakashi whispered although it had felt like that. But that was only another kind of torture.

“It was. And I am real, Kakashi. Look at me.”

“No…” But he couldn’t stop his eyes, couldn’t resist the painful sight he craved for so very, very much.

“Here…” The dream took his hand and gently let his fingers touch its nose, its cheeks, its lips. “Don’t I feel real?”

“No…” Yes, it did. It felt so, so real, so painfully real.

“Kakashi, please.” The illusion tenderly kissed his fingertips, one after the other. “Believe me.”

“But you’ll be gone in the morning”, Kakashi whispered. “And it will hurt so much.” He didn’t think he could stand that.

“If you want it, I will stay with you.” The dream leaned forward and kissed him again. “Say that you want me to and I will stay with you, Kakashi. I… There’s nothing I want more.”

“I… I want it…” So much, so very much.

“Then I will stay with you.” The illusion smiled Iruka’s smile again. “And I will also do whatever else you want me to.”

“Can… can you hold me?”, Kakashi whispered.

“Yes, I can.” The dream reached out and took him in its arms, and they felt warm, so warm, and there was even Iruka’s smell now.

“You’re not him?”, Kakashi told himself but couldn’t help it when it came out as a question.

“I am Iruka, Kakashi.” And then there were lips again, and even more warmth, and this really, really felt like Iruka now although it was impossible.

“You promise?” Although it was impossible?

“I promise that I am Iruka and no dream”, he- it- he whispered.

“And you… will stay?” Although it was impossible?

“Yes, Kakashi.” The dream-Iruka tilted his head and kissed him again.

“And hold me?” Although it was-

“I want nothing more than that.” And then the illusionary Iruka tightened his embrace.

Kakashi sighed and closed his eyes. This couldn’t be real, he knew that, but still he felt himself hope. And it… it felt so real, this dream felt like Iruka so very much, and if it just could be real, then everything would be perfect.

But it wasn’t real. He knew he was lying to himself and he also knew that he wasn’t able to stop anymore. It wasn’t real, wasn’t Iruka, but he couldn’t go back now anymore, not when it felt so real. And this would be all he would ever have from Iruka, illusion or not, this would be the only time he would be able to be with Iruka. And as long as he had this dream, this illusion, as long as it lasted, he could at least try to pretend that it was real.

“I… Iruka?”, he whispered, and somehow even addressing the illusion with the Chuunin’s name felt real, felt right.

“Yes, Kakashi?”

“I… I want to be close to you”, the Jounin breathed. As close as he could, this one and only time.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He knew that it was wrong, that he shouldn’t do it if he wanted to be able to look the real Iruka in the eyes ever again, but he couldn’t fight the craving inside him anymore.

“You can have whatever you want from me”, Iruka whispered softly, then kissed him again, this time deeply and sensually.

“I… I want… please…”, Kakashi whispered, then allowed himself to stop thinking and just feel for a while, allowed himself to touch this Iruka, to kiss him and desire him, and then allowed him to undress them both until he could feel Iruka’s warmth on his skin.

“Kakashi…”, Iruka whispered and pulled the Jounin to lie above him. “Please…”

“No…” Kakashi shook his head. “I want… please… let me feel you…” This one time, this only time he had, he wanted to feel Iruka close to him, wanted to pretend that Iruka wanted him, that Iruka wanted to possess and claim him, just as he yearned for so much.

And then Iruka kissed him again and pushed him down and touched him and prepared him, and there was pain, sharp, delicious and exquisite, and he was writhing and gasping and calling Iruka’s name over and over. And Iruka was in him, moving inside him, whispering to him, promising and offering, and he was falling, spinning, shattering to pieces until there was nothing left that didn’t belong to Iruka anymore.

“I love you”, Iruka whispered, and Kakashi knew that he was dying just at that moment because it was all he’d ever wanted and just what he would never get.

“I love you”, he whispered back while he felt tears in his eyes and desperately tried to force them back.

“Don’t cry, my love”, Iruka murmured and left his body, making him whimper. And then fingers tenderly moved over his thighs until they touched his aching muscle, and the pain lessened.

“No…”, Kakashi whimpered. “Don’t…” He needed this pain, needed to feel it now and then not to feel it anymore in the morning when the dream would be over. He needed it if he ever wanted to be able to stop pretending, to stop hoping that it had been real.

“Shh, my beloved.” Iruka tenderly kissed his tears away. “Don’t cry anymore. I will stay here.”

“No…”, Kakashi contradicted softly, weakly, defeated, and then just closed his eyes and clang to his dream, his hope, his despair until he couldn’t fight the sleep anymore.

When he awoke with the sunlight shining on his face, the bed beside him was empty.

“I knew it…”, he whispered and felt tears starting to fall. “I knew it…” And it hurt, hurt even worse than ever before, because now he knew how it could be, how it would never be. And he would always only have this, this memory of a dream, and never, never would it become reality.

“Iruka… Iruka…” Even saying the name of his beloved hurt now, every thought of him was like a blade through his chest, and still he craved for this pain, this almost sweet pain, because it brought memories with it, of warmth and tenderness and care. And memories would be all he would ever have, all he could cling to in futile hope, painful, futile ho-

“Oh, you’re awake already.”

Kakashi’s head snapped up to stare at the vision crouching on his windowsill.

“I’m sorry. I really hoped I would be fast enough to come back before you woke.”

“I… Iruka?” But no, this couldn’t be. Dreams never came back.

“I called in sick for both of us.” A smile, so real, so painful. “I told them that you had the flu and that I had to take care of you because you refused to go to the hospital.”

“Iruka?” But… no, it wasn’t possible. Dreams never stayed, they always vanished in the sunlight.

“Kakashi, what’s wrong?” Iru- the dream frowned.

“Are you… are you real?” No, no, he couldn’t start hoping again, couldn’t afford that. He would break this time, he knew it.

“Am I… Kakashi!” And then suddenly there was warmth, just like the night before, and this smell, this soothing, wonderful smell, and those hands that were so gentle, so caring, and he couldn’t help it when his body started to shake uncontrollably.

“Shh… shh, my beloved…”, Iruka whispered and started to rock him gently. “Shh… I’m here… Kakashi… I won’t leave… not ever again… not now that I’m here… here where I belong…”

And finally, finally Kakashi was there, too, crying and trembling and breaking but there.

Nayru

Your Wish Is My Command, Chapter 3

2007-09-02T15:08:43Z

Your Wish Is My Command

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 3

“Hey, Obito, Sensei”, Kakashi greeted softly and sat down in front of the Memorial Stone. “It’s been a while, eh? Sorry. But I’ve been… busy.” He turned his head around to where Iruka was sitting contently under a tree with a book. “I’ve… I’ve got somebody to take care of at the moment. He’s… he…” He sighed.

“You know, Obito, I can see you laughing about me right now. I bet you’re rolling on the floor and crying because you laugh so hard. Just look at me, famous Hatake Kakashi doesn’t know what to do because a man keeps kissing him.” The Jounin shook his head. “And Sensei, I can see you smile that soft, knowing smile of yours, that one you always smiled when I didn’t understand life. Again.” He chuckled softly.

“I can remember that mission, Sensei, that mission on which we lost Obito. I was angry afterwards, and sad and confused and… And you looked at me and said, ‘Kakashi-kun, today life was cruel to you, don’t you think? And unfair and hard?’ And I just nodded and then threw that thing against the wall, I can’t even remember what it was, just that it was blue. And you said, ‘Life is like that sometimes, Kakashi-kun. Sometimes it’s cruel and unfair and hard. But then there are other times when it apologises to you and gives you something in return, something to make you understand that living is worth accepting those cruel times.’” Kakashi sighed.

“Life’s often been cruel and unfair and hard to me, Sensei. I know this sounds as if I was complaining, and maybe I am, but… but do you think that what happens right at the moment… do you think this is an apology? The apology maybe? Could Iruka be life’s apology to me? My reason why it’s worth living still?” He closed his eyes.

“And if that really is the case… do you think that I deserve it? That I deserve him? I’ve made so many mistakes in my life. I could have saved Obito, and maybe even you, Sensei, if I had made different decisions. And maybe I could have kept Sasuke from abandoning the village if I had just behaved differently. And with these mistakes I made, Sensei… do I deserve an apology? Do I deserve a chance like this?” Kakashi gasped and hit the ground with his fists.

“See?! I can’t even bring myself to accept it!”, he growled. “I’m not even able to accept that there’s somebody who’s maybe able to be my reason to live! And why?! Just because he’s a man! Just because of that! Iruka says it, that it doesn’t matter, and I… I somehow know that it doesn’t, but still… but still I…” Kakashi swallowed hard when the thoughts he’d tried to keep away from him so hard came crushing down on him suddenly.

“It’s so easy to say that, isn’t it?”, he whispered. “So easy to blame the fact that we’re both men. But the truth is… I’m afraid, Sensei. I’m afraid that I will be happy with him, that he will be my reason. I’m afraid because everything that was good in my life up till now ended before I even could understand how good it was. It all ended and everybody important to me died, and… and I don’t want that again. I don’t want him to leave me. I don’t want Iruka to leave me. And most of all I don’t want him to get hurt because of me. But how can I prevent that? Sensei? Obito? How can I-”

“Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei, is something wrong?”, a high voice suddenly startled him out of his dark thoughts. He turned around and caught sight of Kurenai’s Genin team standing around Iruka.

“What happened?”, Kakashi shouted much too loudly, making the three kids jump in surprise, then hurriedly stood up and ran over to them and the Chuunin. When he could look into Iruka’s eyes, he gasped and stumbled at the pain shooting through him suddenly.

“We… we didn’t… we never…”, the Inuzuka boy stammered, but the Jounin hardly heard him.

“Iruka”, he whispered and took the Chuunin’s hand in his. “Iruka, can you hear me? Everything’s fine, Iruka, I’m with you now. Don’t worry, okay?”

“Ka… kashi…”, Iruka whispered, then blinked and his eyes became normal and lively again. “What happened?”

“Nothing to worry about.” Kakashi smiled at him.

“We… w-we are s-s-sorry”, the little Hyuuga girl said softly.

“It’s alright.” Kakashi forced another smile on his face, reminding himself that the kids probably hadn’t known anything and for sure hadn’t intended to harm their former teacher. “Just don’t use a certain word when Iruka-sensei’s around, alright?”

“What word?”, the Inuzuka – Kiba, the Copy-nin remembered now – asked.

“It’s…” Kakashi contemplated to take out his book and search the word in there to show them shortly, but then decided that Iruka probably wouldn’t be very fond of that. “Go and ask Sakura about it, alright?”

“A-alright”, the girl answered, but didn’t look him in the eye.

Kakashi frowned and followed her gaze downwards to where he still held Iruka’s hand. He hastily wanted to remove his hand at first, but then decided differently and instead tightened his hold.

The girl blinked, then blushed a little before she turned around and hastily followed her team-mates already walking away.

“Are you finished here?”, Iruka asked softly.

“Not quite.” Kakashi turned to look at him, looked at deep, brown eyes, a gentle smile and care, so much care practically emanating from the Chuunin. What if all the answers he searched for were right in front of him? What if he’d just not asked the right person for advice? And what if it wasn’t his decision at all?

“Iruka?”

“Yes?”

“Iruka, do you… do you think that if somebody gives you an apology, more a… a wonderful, precious present, and you aren’t sure if you deserve it… do you think that it’s still alright to take it?”

Iruka frowned deeply. “That’s a weird question.”

“I know.” The Copy-nin smiled softly. “Can you still tell me what you think about it?”

“I think…” Iruka chewed on his lower lip. “I think that maybe if you do your best to be worth the apology and the present and the trust given to you with it, then it’s alright to take it. Is that what you thought of?”

Kakashi smiled. “That’s… I was hoping you would say something like that.” He stood up. “Please come now”, he said and dragged the Chuunin after him towards the Memorial Stone.

“Sensei. Obito.” Kakashi looked from the black stone to Iruka beside him. “Please help me. I know I need all the help I can get for this. I don’t w- I can’t lose this. I need this to work.”

“Kakashi”, Iruka whispered, “Kakashi, what do you mean?”

“I thought enough now”, the Jounin answered, then embraced him and formed the seals for the transportation jutsu behind his back. “And you were right, I was thinking too much”, he whispered when they arrived in the Chuunin’s apartment before he slowly, a little hesitantly still pulled his mask down, then leaned forward to kiss Iruka’s lips.

Kissing Iruka without his mask felt better than anything he could remember having experienced so far, Kakashi noticed. The Chuunin’s lips were soft on his, warm and gentle, and while kissing him, the Copy-nin could forget about everything else and just feel something like liquid, warm happiness pool inside him.

“Kakashi”, Iruka whispered against his lips, his eyes closed. “Kakashi…”

“Iruka”, Kakashi whispered back and embraced the Chuunin tighter before he kissed him once again. Mmmh…

“Kakashi, can we sit down?”, Iruka whispered afterwards.

“Yes.” The Copy-nin kissed him again. Mmmmmh…

“Where’s the couch?”

“Other side of the door. But the bedroom and your bed are right behind you.” Kakashi smiled. “Can’t you see where we are suddenly?” Maybe the Chuunin would like to be carried?

“Can’t open my eyes.” Iruka nuzzled his face under his chin. “You said you don’t like people to see you.”

“Oh.” Kakashi’s eyes widened. “But… but that was before… I mean… I mean you can now.” He swallowed. The last person he’d willingly shown his face to had been his sensei, more than fourteen years ago. But… but he wanted this. He wanted to show Iruka that he was willing to do anything to be worth him.

“Really?”, Iruka asked and tilted his head up but kept his eyes closed.

“It’s alright.” The Jounin took a deep breath. When Iruka opened his eyes slowly, he almost closed his own.

“You look good”, the Chuunin observed before he kissed him once again. “And your lips feel even better than I always imagined. Sit down now?”

“I… y-yes.” Kakashi sat down on the bed a little confusedly. Whatever reaction he had expected, this hadn’t been it.

“This hurt”, Iruka whispered and traced the scar running from under his hitai-ate over his left cheek. Then he leaned forward and kissed it.

“Yes.” Kakashi nodded. “But it’s old.”

“You mean I can’t kiss it better anymore?” Iruka grinned.

“You could try.” Kakashi grinned back. He didn’t know why, but suddenly everything had become easy with the Chuunin. Better even. Much better. Maybe this could really work, maybe Iruka could really be his reason to start living again instead of just existing.

Iruka crawled up on the bed and lay down, motioning the Jounin to lie beside him. When Kakashi did as wished, the Chuunin kissed his scar once again before he snuggled up on his left side.

“It’s weird…”, Kakashi whispered after a while, only half noticing that the words left his mouth. Weird, but not unpleasant, not at all.

“What’s weird?”, Iruka asked softly and nuzzled his throat with his nose.

“It’s still a little weird to lie here and cuddle with a man… and with you furthermore… I would never have imagined that some weeks ago.” And it felt unusual to have someone important again, to allow someone to become important, precious to him again. He would have to get used to that.

“Oh”, Iruka breathed, and Kakashi could feel him first freeze, then tense beside him. “Then why do you do this if you hate me?”, the Chuunin whispered, his voice barely audible.

“No!”, Kakashi gasped in shock. “No, Iruka, I don’t hate you.”

“But do you hate being here with me?”, Iruka asked and curled up in himself, his fingers digging into the cloth of the Jounin’s shirt. “And only do this to make me feel better?”

“I don’t hate being here with you, Iruka”, Kakashi told him softly and shifted until he lay on his left side facing him. He saw that the Chuunin had almost curled into a ball.

“But you said that it’s weird, most of all with me”, Iruka whispered. “If it feels weird, then you can’t like it, and if you don’t like it, then you maybe even hate it, and then you only do it bec-”

“But I don’t hate it.” Kakashi moved his left hand to stroke over the Chuunin’s back reassuringly. “It just feels a little… unusual for me still to do this with a man instead of a woman, you know? And I would never have thought that you and me would… would do this one day. But only because we were arguing and fighting so often before all of this happened.”

“Oh.” Iruka relaxed a little. “Then you don’t hate me? And don’t hate being with me?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Then you… like it? And decided to be with me because you like it?”

Kakashi smiled. He didn’t have to think about that anymore. “Yes, I like it, Iruka. It just feels… different.”

“And you like me?”, Iruka asked softly. “Do you like me, Kakashi?”

“Yes”, Kakashi whispered.

“Good.” The Chuunin lifted his head and smiled at him before he cuddled up against him again. “Good…” He yawned.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi asked after a while that had him fidgeting in indecision whether to ask or not.

“Hmmm?”, Iruka sighed, then yawned again.

“Do… do you like me?”, the Copy-nin whispered.

“Mmmmh…” Iruka yawned again and cuddled even closer. “Very much… very, very much…”

Kakashi lay beside him, wide awake, even after the Chuunin’s breathing had evened out and he’d fallen asleep, wondering how it was possible for the answer he’d known would come for sure to still cause this much relief inside him. But he wanted to feel this relief, to feel these sensations deep inside himself every day from now on. He wanted Iruka to stay with him, and he would do anything to assure that.

----- ----- -----

“You can’t do that!”, Kakashi shouted.

“I can’t?”, Tsunade hissed back angrily. “And what makes you think that your Hokage can’t assign you a mission? It’s my damn job to tell you what to do to do your damn job.”

“But… but I already have a mission”, Kakashi argued. “I take care of Iruka.” He should have known that being called without Iruka would mean trouble, he should have known that. His life never went smooth.

“I will have somebody substitute for you while you’re gone. This mission is urgent and it requires your abilities.”

“You can’t do that! We’re… I… He’s already used to me! It will hinder his recovery process if-”

“Listen, brat”, the Sannin growled. “I am the medic of the two of us, understand? And you can be sure that I know what’s best for my patients.”

“But Iruka-”

“He will get along just as well with somebody else. And you will take that mission, do you hear me, shinobi?!”

“ I… Yes, Hokage-sama”, Kakashi forced out through gritted teeth. “I will leave immediately after I will have told Iruka that-”

“You will leave immediately, period.” Tsunade glared at him. “I will inform Iruka-sensei.”

“But-”

“Leave!”

“Yes… Hokage… sama…” Kakashi balled his hands to fists outrageously. He knew perfectly well that it wasn’t right to blame the Sannin for separating him from Iruka, knew perfectly well that it was just his bad luck again. But damn, couldn’t that woman see underneath the underneath?!

-----

“I’m back, Hokage-sama.” Kakashi threw a bloody bag onto her desk, hearing its contents impact on the wood with a satisfying ‘thump’. “And I brought you a souvenir.”

“Hatake!”, Tsunade shouted, looking wide-eyed at the bloody cloth staining her papers on the desk. “What’s that?”

“You said you wanted his head”, the Copy-nin told her coldly. “I’m shinobi. I always follow my orders.” Especially if he was pissed and deprived of a certain kind of warmth.

“You… you… Say that’s not true!”

“How’s Iruka?”, Kakashi just asked. The Chuunin had been the only thing he had been able to think of outside of fights. He’d even dreamed of him – of his voice and his face on good nights and of losing him because he couldn’t be with him on bad ones.

“He’s fine!”, Tsunade spat. “He’s perfect without you! He’s making progress every day, if a little slow.”

“A little slow? Why?”, Kakashi asked worriedly.

“God, don’t over-exaggerate it, brat! Everything’s fine with him! Raidou takes good ca-”

Kakashi didn’t hear more when he jumped out of the window and sprinted over the roofs towards Iruka’s apartment.

Raidou!

-----

Panting a little from almost pushing his already exhausted body too much, Kakashi silently entered the Chuunin’s apartment through the window of his living room, his chakra masked. He glanced around and caught side of his enemy sitting on the couch, seemingly asleep. The Copy-nin slowly inched closer and drew a kunai out of his weapon pouch, then held it onto his opponent’s throat, his other hand over his mouth.

“Wake up!”, Kakashi hissed.

“Hm?”, Raidou questioned sleepily, then woke with a start, his hands flying to his weapon pouch.

“Don’t you dare move!”, Kakashi growled. “And no shouting, understand?” He lifted his hand from the other’s mouth.

“Kakashi-san?”, Raidou asked in surprise. “What are you-”

“What did you do with him?”, the Copy-nin interrupted him. “Where is he?”

“Iruka?”, Raidou guessed. “He’s in his bedroom, folding laundry, I think. But why are you-”

“What did you do to him while I was gone?”

“What… I didn’t do anything to him.”

“Did you touch him?!”, Kakashi growled.

“I… what… No.”

“Did you try?!”

“No! Kakashi-san, what-” Raidou broke off suddenly and gasped.

“What?!”

“So it’s true…” The scarred Jounin grinned despite the blade on his throat.

“What?”, Kakashi hissed.

“You fell for him.” Raidou shook his head, but stopped immediately when he cut himself slightly. “Hey, you can calm down now. I won’t try to take him from you.”

“Sure”, Kakashi snorted. “I know what you said to him. I know that you want him back.” But Iruka was his now, his.

“And you think I would take advantage of him while he’s like this?” Raidou sighed. “Kakashi-san, I’m not a monster. I would never hurt Iruka.”

“Don’t you dare”, the Copy-nin hissed but removed the blade slowly. “What happened while I was gone?”

“I took care of him, nothing more”, Raidou assured. “I just came over and looked after him, went shopping for him and kept him company and such. I didn’t even sleep here. And I swear I didn’t touch him.”

“You better not.” Kakashi went through the room and sat down on a chair opposite to the other Jounin, still glaring heatedly. If that Raidou had touched Iruka…

“I didn’t. And I didn’t try to take him from you either.” Raidou smiled and shook his head. “I don’t think I could have, even if I had tried. He’s completely head over heels for you, you know.”

Kakashi just snorted, but the words did make him feel warmer inside than he had for days.

“When I first came here and told him that you had to leave on a mission, I almost expected him to cry, so sad did he look”, Raidou said softly. “And then he asked if you would come back to him. I said that you would, but I’m not sure if he believed me.” He shook his head. “And in the following days, he talked less and less. He almost always sat on the windowsill over there and looked out, no matter if it was night or day. I guess he was waiting for you.”

Kakashi looked at his hands, guilt burning inside him. He hadn’t wanted Iruka to be sad because of him. He hadn’t wanted to go on that mission, but he had had to go.

“He will be happy that you’re back finally”, he heard the other Jounin say.

Kakashi nodded. “I know.” He would do everything he could to apologise for having made Iruka unhappy. He would make Iruka smile all day now and-

“You have to make him happy.”

The Copy-nin looked up at the sudden harsh tone in the other’s voice. “What?”

“Listen, Kakashi-san.” Raidou looked at him seriously. “Iruka’s probably the best person you’ll ever meet. You know that and I know that, and believe me, there are many others knowing that. And just in case we get to know that somebody hurt Iruka in any way… let’s say it won’t be pretty.”

“Are you trying to threaten me?”, Kakashi asked, his voice a dangerous whisper.

“I’m not trying”, Raidou gave back, unimpressed. “I am threatening you. Hurt Iruka and you will have to face the consequences, Copy-nin or not.” He tilted his head to the side slightly. “Kakashi-san, I was stupid to let go of Iruka once, and I know that I hurt him with it. But that doesn’t mean that I’m stupid enough to allow anybody else to make him sad. I will not let that happen, do you understand?”

Kakashi looked at him for a while, trying to decide whether he should laugh about the ridiculousness of the situation or be angry at the other Jounin for assuming he would hurt Iruka intentionally. Another look at Raidou’s serious face convinced him to laugh softly.

“You don’t have to worry, Raidou-san.” Kakashi shook his head. “I’m supposed to be a genius. I can see when there’s something impossibly good offered to me.”

Raidou first only looked at him, but then the scarred Jounin smiled softly. “Yes”, he sighed. “You see it.” He shook his head and sighed again. “I wished I did.”

“You left him”, Kakashi reminded him harshly. “You hurt him.” And nobody was allowed to do that, never, nobody was-

“I know.” Raidou smiled sadly. “I was so stupid. So… so insecure.”

“Insecure?!”, Kakashi asked incredulously. But stupid – yes, definitely.

“I… I was…” Raidou took a deep breath. “When I first met Iruka… it was his birthday party, he had just turned twenty-two, and Anko dragged me with her and introduced us. I immediately thought that he was… nice. Pleasant. And then…” A snort. “Well, you probably know that, Kakashi-san. There was alcohol, and suddenly I had a rather… enthusiastic Chuunin on my lap, kissing the living dayl-”

“Yes.” Kakashi glared. He so didn’t want to hear that.

“Ah, right. Sorry.” Raidou scratched his head sheepishly. “However. Nothing happened apart from kissing, and the next morning, Iruka asked me, ‘What do you want now?’ Just that. And I… I thought, what the hell, he’s nice, cute and that all, little bit young maybe, but overall fun. And thus I asked him to date me.” He shrugged. “Went fine, everything. He worried himself sick whenever I went out on missions and I felt wanted. He smiled when I came back and I felt better, no matter what had happened before.”

“But still you left him for someone else”, Kakashi growled.

“I told him that, didn’t I?” Raidou smiled sadly. “We’d been dating for three months already when I noticed that I had… changed. I came back to the village and had to see him. Not wanted to see him but had to. I had to see him happy, had to make him smile, had to see him every day, had to have him around as often as possible, and that… it frightened me.”

“It frightened you?!” Kakashi stared. What was frightening about that?!

“It frightened me. I… I realised that somewhere, somehow, Iruka had started to become everything for me. That young, innocent, cute little Chuunin I had thought was smitten for me in some kind of puppy love was on his best way to become the center of my life. And I, who I was older and therefore supposedly more mature, was frightened to my bones, so frightened that I lied to him, told him I had found someone else to run away from him and hide in my apartment for the next week.”

“You… you…” Kakashi wasn’t sure whether he should laugh or yell, or maybe even cry.

“I was so stupid.” Raidou swallowed hard. “I was so insecure about myself that I wasn’t sure if I could accept to live for him. I didn’t see that in return, he would have lived for me, that he some day had decided that he was willing to let me become everything for him. And now…” He sighed. “And now it’s too late. Now he chose to give you the chance to become everything for him.”

Kakashi looked down at his hands. Being everything for Iruka, the center of the Chuunin’s life… He found that he wanted that, that somehow Iruka had brought him to want to be that, to have to be that. But the thought didn’t frighten him but… but made him feel determined, warm, tingling all over, and so many more things at once.

“Promise me not to hurt him?”, Raidou asked softly, almost pleaded. “The last days, he… he only ever smiled when he talked about you. And his eyes, they were glowing whenever he thought of you. I can’t remember ever having seen him look at me like that, so… Kakashi-san? Promise me to never hurt Iruka?”

“I… I promise”, the Copy-nin whispered hoarsely.

“Good. Good.” Raidou smiled softly. “I think we-” He broke off and turned around when the door to the bedroom opened.

Kakashi immediately jumped up from his chair when he saw Iruka enter the room, a huge pile of folded laundry in his arms. The Chuunin didn’t look their way, just moved towards a cupboard and carefully put away some sheets. His face was almost blank and sad while doing that, and the sight hurt in the Copy-nin’s chest.

“Iruka”, he whispered softly. “Iruka, I’m back.”

Iruka lifted his head slowly until he looked at him, then he blinked. Once. Twice. Suddenly, the Chuunin gasped and let the rest of the laundry fall from his hands.

“Iruka.” Kakashi smiled softly. “Iruka, I’m back from my mission. I will stay with you again if you wa- would like me to.”

“Kakashi”, Iruka whispered, then he suddenly ran through the room and threw himself into the Jounin’s arms, wrapping his own around his neck. “Kakashi”, he repeated, “Kakashi.”

“Iruka”, Kakashi murmured back and buried his face into the other’s neck, inhaling his familiar, soothing scent deeply. “I missed you.”

“I… I missed you.” The Chuunin tightened his hold. “I thought… I thought you wouldn’t come back to me.” He gasped softly and buried his head against the Copy-nin’s chest, his body shaking.

“Shh”, Kakashi tried to soothe him while he felt every muffled gasp hurt in his chest. “Everything’s fine. It needs more than some missing nins to kill me.”

“But I- I- I was af-fraid that you c-could be killed”, Iruka sobbed softly against his chest. “And I also th-thought that… that when you- you- you come b-back, you m-maybe wouldn’t come b-b-back to m-me afterw-wards.”

“But why shouldn’t I?” Now that he had somebody waiting for him? Somebody who was everything for him?

“Bec-cause you didn’t s-say goodbye. You didn’t tell me that y-you would come back. And they s-sent Raidou to lo-lo-look after m-me. I th-thought you- you didn’t r-really l-like me and didn’t int-tend t-to come b-back to m-me. Because y-you d-didn’t say g-g-goodbye.” Iruka tightened his hold. “A-a-and m-my pa-parents didn’t say g-goodbye either. For th-the only t-time when… when… when they d-didn’t c-c-come back…”

“Oh, Iruka.” Kakashi hugged him tighter. “I’m so sorry. I wa- I wished I could have said goodbye to you and told you that I would come back to you, but I couldn’t. Tsunade-sa- The mission was urgent.”

“M-hm.” The Chuunin nodded against his chest, still shaking but slowly calming down. “R-Raidou said so, too. Bu-but still…”

“I’m sorry.” Kakashi moved his head and placed a soft masked kiss on the Chuunin’s temple. “I promise I will never leave again without saying goodbye to you.”

“And… and come back to me?”, Iruka whispered.

“Yes.” The Copy-nin smiled. “And I will promise you to do my best to come back to you every time.” He looked up when the apartment door opened, but only saw Raidou wave at him before the Jounin left and closed the door again.

“Please…” Iruka tilted his head up and kissed his masked lips. “Please come back to me.”

“I will”, Kakashi whispered and kissed him back. “I promise.” He had to. And he wanted that.

----- ----- -----

“Greetings to you, Honourable Former Teacher of my Beloved Students!”

Kakashi flinched. Perfect. Just what he needed for a nice, calm Sunday afternoon with Iruka. He slowly shook most of the water and soap from his hands before he pulled up his mask, opened a cupboard and took three more kitchen sponges out, then soaked them in the sink. Calmly, he continued to clean the dishes then while pondering and calculating angles from his position to his self-declared rival’s. Then he made a half-step to the left and nodded to himself.

“Good afternoon, Gai-sensei”, he heard Iruka through the open door to the living room. “How are you today?”

“I am in the Springtime of my Youth!”, the Green Beast declared, and Kakashi knew he was missing a good-guy pose. Poor him.

“That’s good to hear.” How Iruka could keep a straight voice to that was completely beyond the Copy-nin.

“I heard that my Honoured Eternal Rival is with you, Iruka-sensei!”, Gai continued. “Is that true?!”

“It is. Kakashi’s in the kitchen.”

“That is marvellous! I wan-”

Phlatsh!

Two gasps.

“Gai, did you talk to Tsunade-sama lately?”, Kakashi asked calmly while he took a new sponge to resume his cleaning.

“My Eternal Rival!”, Gai exclaimed. “How can you use such Dishonourable Methods as to throw something at me from a hidden position?!”

“I didn’t w- like to water the floor by carrying it”, Kakashi declared. “Did you talk to Tsunade-sama lately?”

“To our Honoured Hokage?! Why do you wa-”

Splutsh!

“Gai, please come in here.” Aaand a new sponge. Maybe he should get more? Or try to let the next one rebound from a wall? That would be fun.

“My Eternal Rival! I am shocked! How can you-”

“Come here, Gai.” Now or there would be a third Incredible Flying Sponge of Chuunin Protection.

“You will explain this to me, my Rival!”, the Green Beast declared while he entered the kitchen, rather sodden. “Such Unacceptable Behaviour for a Noble Shinobi!”

“Gai.”

“Yes, my Rival?!”

“Gai, did you hear what happened to Iruka-sensei?”

“Something happened to Iruka-sensei?! Do you mean some Mean Villain dared to harm the former teacher of my Beloved Students?! I will-” Gai frowned. “Now I remember!”, he declared then. “You are talking about the Filthy and Dishonourable Attack on the Gentle and Faithful Iruka-sensei! I have never seen such a-”

“Yes, you’re perfectly right, Gai”, Kakashi interrupted. “And then you probably know that there’s a certain word that he’s not to hear, right?”

“Yes, my Rival! Tsunade-sama, our Beloved Hokage, told me about it just in case I should have to take care of our Beloved Iruka-sensei!”

“What?”, Kakashi hissed. “When will you do that?” Did she plan to send him on a mission again soon? Away from Iruka? And then let Gai take care of the Chuunin? He wouldn’t let that happen, he would-

“She informed me just in case, my Rival!”, Gai boomed. “But I am deeply hurt that you seem to think that I could not Master that Challenge with the Strength of my Youth!”

“I didn’t think that, Gai”, Kakashi sighed. “I just…” He sighed again. “I take care of Iruka.” And nobody else!

“It is Truly Admirable that you take your Honourable Mission to defend Iruka-sensei so seriously, my Rival! I am sure that Iruka-sensei is very grateful for you Youthful Help!”

“I am”, Iruka declared suddenly and appeared behind the Green Beast. “Although I would prefer not to get soaked.” He held the slightly soggy front of his shirt away from his chest with his left hand, carrying the two dripping sponges in the other. “Ever heard of splashes?”, he asked Kakashi while he let the sponges fall into the sink.

“Oops?”, the Jounin tried, grinning. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t like to see Iruka in a wet shirt.

“Ramen from Ichiraku’s as an apology, and I’m placated”, Iruka offered, grinning back.

“Deal.” Kakashi’s grin broadened.

“Perfect.” Iruka took a step closer and gave his masked lips a quick kiss before he disappeared into the living room again.

Kakashi slowly turned around to the sink again and continued to clean. He was quite curious how long it would take Gai to stop gaping and start… whatever Gai-like thing he would do. The Copy-nin was hoping for a mature reaction, but-

“How long already, my Rival?”, Gai asked in a calm tone, very unlike his usual exuberant self.

“Iruka decided to do that quite soon”, Kakashi gave back, equally calm. “I needed more time to understand that it’s…” Perfect. Best. All he wanted. What had been missing before. “… good.”

“So you… want it?”, Gai asked in a low whisper that didn’t quite manage to conceal the threat.

Kakashi smiled softly. So Gai, too… He wondered who was part of the Iruka Protection Brigade else.

“I do. And Iruka does, too. I let him set the pace.” Kakashi looked at the other Jounin. “To make sure that he’s fine with it and doesn’t feel… taken advantage of.”

Gai looked at him for a long time, but then suddenly a bright, almost blinding smile spread on his face. “My Eternal Rival!”, he exclaimed. “It fills my Youthful Heart with Happiness and Joy to see you so Youthfully Devoted to take care of our Beloved Iruka-sensei!” A river of manly tears flowed from his eyes. “You have my Blessings!”

Kakashi cringed. “Thank you, Gai.”

“And I will no longer interrupt your Tender Bonding, my Eternal Rival! We will hold our Honourable Challenge at a better time!” He turned and stormed out of the kitchen. “And you, my Faithful Iruka-sensei”, Kakashi heard him boom in the living room, “do not be afraid of anything! My Eternal Rival will make sure that you are Safe and Sound in your Youthful… Youth!”

And then there was silence.

“Did he just give us his blessings?”, Iruka asked through the door.

“Did sound like that…” Kakashi shook his head.

“Hm. Nice.” A snigger. “I take it we found the one to give you away as my bride already.”

Kakashi gasped in surprise, then again in pain when a spoon fell from his hand and landed on his bare foot.

But Iruka’s rich, joyful, lively laughter and the apologetic kiss that followed completely made up for it.

----- ----- -----

“Give it back!”, Kakashi laughed, then laughed more when the command didn’t impress his opponent in the slightest.

“No!” Iruka jumped over the back of the couch and out of his reach. “You don’t even read it. You only pretend to”, he shouted, a broad grin on his face.

“I read it”, Kakashi contradicted. “You just don’t look close enough.” He ran around the couch to catch the Chuunin, but Iruka escaped his hands in the last moment, laughing delightfully.

“I looked close enough. You just stare at the pages and when I don’t look, you look at me.” Iruka gracefully danced backwards, waving the book in front of his face.

“In your dreams!” Kakashi grinned. He hadn’t had this much fun in years. In fact, he couldn’t even remember when he’d ever had this much fun, when he’d ever been able to be this free and exuberant with another person. But with Iruka he suddenly could. The Chuunin seemed to be able to give him the chance to live finally.

“You look at me.” Iruka laughed. “And I don’t know why you pretend not t-” He gasped when his back hit the wall of the living room.

“Gotcha.” Kakashi grinned triumphantly while he moved closer. “Did you really think that you could steal my precious novel and then get away with it?”

“‘Precious novel’?” The Chuunin snorted. “You certainly don’t talk about this dirty piece of… of… of adult reading material?” He faked a dodge to the left and then darted away to the right.

“No, you don’t.” Kakashi reached out quickly and caught him around the waist, then pulled him close, the Chuunin’s back against his chest. “Give me my book or I tickle you.”

“Tickle me and I throw it out of the window”, Iruka threatened, grinning broadly.

“The window’s closed”, Kakashi deadpanned. “Think of something better.” He pulled him closer. Mmmh… Iruka was always so warm, smelled so good.

“Tickle me and I won’t let go of the book, turn around and kiss you?”, the Chuunin offered.

“Now we’re negotiating.” Kakashi took the book from his hand, threw it onto the couch and turned the Chuunin around in his arms. He leaned forward slowly, waited impatiently until Iruka pulled down his mask, and then pressed his lips against the awaiting ones. When he felt arms around his neck, he sighed contently and closed his eyes. This was bliss…

When suddenly a warm tongue lapped gently at his lips, he jumped a little in surprise, but then opened his mouth slowly. To his mild surprise, Iruka just kept licking at his lower lip, barely slipping into his mouth, until Kakashi slid his own tongue out and let it be coaxed into the Chuunin’s mouth to explore it thoroughly. And then he just listened to Iruka sigh softly, just felt the Chuunin’s body close to his, just relished in every single sensation Iruka caused inside him without a care about anything but the man in his arms. Was there even more than Iruka?

As absorbed as he was, he only heard the knocking on the window when it was loud enough to probably shake the glass. Kakashi jumped and wanted to turn around, but found his head held immobile by Iruka’s hands.

“Your mask”, the Chuunin whispered.

“Right.” Kakashi nodded and hastily pulled the cloth over his face, then turned around to the window to face-

“My office! Now!”, a very angry Tsunade yelled.

Kakashi flinched. Damn!

-----

“How could you dare?!”, the Sannin shouted the moment the door closed behind Kakashi and Iruka. “Hatake, I will-”

“Kakashi didn’t do anything wrong”, Iruka interrupted her suddenly. “I wan-” He frowned and broke off. “I… I…”

“You see?!”, Tsunade yelled at the Copy-nin. “You took advantage of him and-”

“I didn’t”, Kakashi defended himself. “He wa- likes it!”

“Sure.” Tsunade snorted.

“He likes me”, Kakashi murmured defiantly.

“I don’t give a damn”, the Sannin told him. “He’s not himself. You can’t just do with him as you wa- wish!”

“I don’t do that!”, Kakashi shouted. “I only do what Iruka allows me to do!”

“And you think that he knows what he’s doing?” Tsunade glared at him. “What if the jutsu only makes him do what he thinks you would like him to do?”

“I… but I…” The Jounin stared at her disbelievingly. But that couldn’t be. That just couldn’t be. Iruka wanted to be with him, didn’t he? Iruka wanted to be his… his… his precious person, his important person. His everything.

Or didn’t he?

“I like Kakashi”, Iruka murmured. “And I like to kiss him, too. He didn’t force me to. And he promised to never take advantage of me again and-” He broke off and gasped.

“‘Again’?”, Tsunade asked, her voice dangerously low.

“I… I… I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t realise what I did to him at first”, Kakashi assured. “And I will never-”

“What did you do?”, the Sannin hissed.

“I… On the first day I used the word and made him massage my neck and cook dinner for me”, Kakashi confessed, looking down to the floor and blushing deeply in shame. “That was before I realised what I did to Iruka when-”

“Out”, Tsunade whispered. “Out, Hatake. I don’t wa-” She growled. “You won’t come under my eyes again for the next days.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama”, Kakashi whispered.

“And you won’t come near Iruka-sensei again.”

“No!”, Kakashi gasped. “No, please, I need-”

“I don’t care what you need!”, Tsunade yelled. “You won’t come near him ever again until he’s recovered completely again! And now out!”

“But Hokage-sama, I-”

“OUT!”

“But Tsunade-sama.” Iruka reached his hand out to Kakashi and gripped his sleeve. “But I don’t… I… Please, can’t Kakashi stay with me?” Tears formed in his eyes and rolled over his cheeks. “I feel safe when he’s with me. And he promised to never leave me and-”

“It’s for your best, Iruka-sensei”, Tsunade told him. “He’s not good for you.”

“But Tsunade-sama”, the Chuunin choked out, “I… I don’t… I don’t know what to do without him. Kakashi’s always there for me and he helps me and he cares about me and-”

“There will be no discussion, Iruka-sensei”, the Sannin said gently. “You will understand it when you’ll have recovered again.”

“But… but…” Iruka hurried towards Kakashi and embraced him, his body shaking. “Please don’t force him to leave me”, he whispered. “Please don’t leave me, Kakashi.”

“You will leave immediately, Hatake”, Tsunade told him. “Now.”

“I’m sorry, Iruka”, Kakashi whispered, his throat thick. “I’m sorry.” He gently lifted the Chuunin’s chin and smiled sadly. “I promise I will come back to you when you’ll have recovered completely again. If you still w- like me then, I will come back to you again. I promise, Iruka, I promise.”

“Don’t leave me, Kakashi.” Iruka buried his head against his chest again. “You promised to never leave me.”

“Iruka, I-”

“Hatake”, Tsunade interrupted him. “You will leave now or I will call ANBU to escort you to your apartment.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” Kakashi swallowed hard and reluctantly freed himself from Iruka’s arms, then closed his eyes and formed the seals to transport him to his cold, empty apartment. Like this, he didn’t have to see the tears in Iruka’s eyes, but he could still hear the sobs that ripped his soul apart. Or what was left of it.

----- ----- -----

Kakashi looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, saw skin even paler than usual, a bloodshed eye and a trail of tears flowing out from his other, closed eye. Stupid Obito to cry about this like a baby. Stupid Obito to cry when Kakashi desperately tried not to, when Kakashi was about to break.

“What if she is right?”, he whispered. “What if Iruka doesn’t want to be with me at all? What if he just acts like he does because he senses that it’s what I want and the jutsu makes him obey to my wishes?”

His reflection didn’t answer, just kept looking at him and crying.

“What if I don’t deserve him? What if I’m not worth him?” Kakashi laughed humourlessly. “Wait, I know that I’m not worth him. But what if he realises that one day? Or what if he never liked me? And just said he did because I was there and needed it?” He shook his head.

“But he started it”, he continued. “He was the one who started… this. He came close and kissed me and told me that he didn’t care about anything and that he… that he liked me. He said that he has liked me for months by now. But how could he? What’s in me to like? I can’t think of anything that’s worth liking about me, and I should know me best. But… but maybe he still does…” The Jounin sighed.

“I shouldn’t think of him anymore. I’m not allowed to see him anymore, and it’s probably better like this. Better for him. And when he’s recovered again… then…” Kakashi swallowed. “Then he won’t want me anymore… and it will be better like that. Better for him. And… and… and that’s all I want. I w-want him to… to have what’s best for h-him. And- and- and I’m… and I’m not what’s b-best… I’m-”

A knock at the door made him jump.

His heart pounding from the shock, Kakashi hastily rubbed his face, then pulled up his mask and put on his hitai-ate to hide most of his pain. A look into the mirror showed that he still looked exactly how he felt, but whoever was at the door would have to live with that. Taking another deep breath, the Jounin made his way through his apartment to his door, steeling himself before he took the doorknob and opened.

“Yo”, Iruka greeted him, grinning broadly and waving.

Kakashi stared at him, completely frozen. This… this couldn’t be. This was just a dream, or a cruel joke. Iruka couldn’t be here, he just couldn’t. And it didn’t matter that Kakashi could feel his heart beat faster and faster and faster in hope.

“I ran away”, Iruka declared happily. “Or better, Raidou let me run away. He even told me where I could find your apartment.” He walked around the stunned Copy-nin and entered his apartment, then looked around. “Nice. Bit small.”

“Iruka?”, Kakashi whispered, turned towards him and closed the door absentmindedly. God, he hoped so much that this was no dream, no joke, no illusion.

“I don’t care what Tsunade-sama says.” The Chuunin frowned angrily. “She doesn’t understand anything. You would never hurt me, I know that.”

“Iruka, how… how did you get here?”

“I walked.” Iruka grinned again. “How did you think I came here?”

“But… on your own?!”, Kakashi gasped. “What if somebody had said the word to you?”

“I had these.” Iruka took something out of his pocket. “Earplugs. Ain’t I super-sneaky?” He grinned even broader before he closed the space between himself and the Jounin and wrapped his arms around his waist. “I’m happy now”, he whispered. “Very happy.”

“Iruka”, Kakashi whispered back before he embraced him tightly enough to make him gasp. “Iruka, you… you came to me.”

“But sure.” The Chuunin placed his head against his shoulder. “I thought that if you aren’t allowed to stay with me, I could go and just stay with you.” He grinned. “Can I hide from Tsunade-sama here please?”

“Yes.” Kakashi smiled broadly, overly happy. “You can hide here. Just stay here with me.”

“Perfect.” Iruka lifted his head and looked at him. “Kiss?”

“Perfect.” Kakashi hastily yanked down his mask and captured the Chuunin’s lips with his, tightening his embrace even more. He could feel Iruka open his mouth instantly and let his tongue delve in and taste what was offered to him happily. Iruka had come to him on his own accord, had even disobeyed the Hokage just to be with him. That meant that Tsunade had been wrong, right? It meant that Iruka really wanted to be with him and didn’t only react to the jutsu and his desires. Right?

“What do you think will Tsunade-sama do when she finds out that I’m here?”, Iruka asked softly.

“I don’t care.” Kakashi nuzzled his cheek with his nose. “We won’t let her separate us again.” Now that the Chuunin was with him again, had come to him, he felt as if he could take on the Sannin, the whole world even, completely on his own.

“No”, Iruka whispered. “We won’t let that happen. Together, Kakashi?”

“But sure.” The Jounin grinned, feeling relief and happiness and joy and warmth flood his body. “Together we’ll find a way. And she won’t be able to stop us.”

“Sounds good.” Iruka smiled.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----

AN:
I’m terribly sorry for the long delay. Real life’s been trouble and furthermore somebody *coughs* laoighaire *coughs* wanted to hear more about Iruka and Raidou’s relationship, so I had to change ‘Well, I thought I found someone better but was wrong, poor me’ to what you just read. I like this Raidou better though, so I think it was definitely worth the trouble.

Nayru

Your Wish Is My Command, Chapter 2

2007-08-12T12:33:41Z

Your Wish Is My Command

by nayru_kleinefee

Chapter 2

“Good morning, Iruka”, Kakashi greeted the Chuunin the moment he emerged from his bedroom. “How do you feel today?”

“Tired, hungry and bored”, Iruka told him after a long moment of contemplation.

“Oh, we can’t let that happen, can we?” Kakashi grinned, happy to have something to delay what he was fearing to do and to distract him from the questions making his head spin since the last evening. “What about you take a shower now, we eat afterwards, and after we’ve been at the Hokage’s we find something to entertain you?”

A soft frown, then, “Okay.” Then Iruka turned towards the bathroom.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi stopped him, then fidgeted on his place while the Chuunin waited for him to talk. “Iruka… what… what do you want for breakfast, lunch and dinner?”, he choked out finally, his eyes to the floor.

Only silence answered, and the Jounin didn’t have to look up to know that Iruka’s eyes were empty again. He didn’t want to see it.

-----

“Iruka, would you like jam or honey on your roll?”, Kakashi asked, then held his breath in anticipation and didn’t move a muscle not to influence the Chuunin’s decision in any way.

For almost two minutes, Iruka just sat there, frowning and looking from the glasses in front of him to the Jounin and back. Then he finally said, “I would like… honey?”

“Perfect.” Kakashi knew that it had been barely a decision and that he was grinning like a fool, but he couldn’t care less.

-----

“I talked to Ibiki just now”, Tsunade said. “He told me that our assumptions were right. The jutsu lowered Iruka-sensei’s inhibitions immensely.”

“Ah”, Kakashi only murmured. He knew that already, had had a quite impressive demonstration the former evening.

“And there’s something else.” The Sannin sighed and looked at the Chuunin sitting on a chair and looking curiously at the many scrolls inside an open drawer of a cupboard next to him.

“What is it?”, Kakashi asked, watching Iruka reach out towards the cupboard and then take his hand back again unsurely.

“Ibiki found out that the jutsu also decreases the ability to hide or withstand emotions. I’m afraid that Iruka-sensei will act very much on impulse in the next time and won’t be able to hold back when a strong emotion is taking hold of him.”

“And that means?” Now Iruka was reaching out again and ran a finger over a particularly colourful scroll.

“I guess he’ll just… just act accordingly. Not hold back, you know.” Tsunade shrugged. “When he’s sad, he will show it, maybe even cry although he wouldn’t if everything was alright with him. Or if he’s angry, he’ll probably shout and lose his temper.” She grinned softly. “More than usual, I mean.”

“Oh.” Kakashi didn’t even want to think about seeing Iruka cry. It was so much better to see him glance at Tsunade from the corner of his eye and bite his lip while he seemed to try to find out whether it was alright to take the scroll.

“But he should also show you quite clearly when he’s happy. Like yesterday with Ton-Ton.” Tsunade smiled. “If the whole situation wasn’t such a mess, I would even say that it’s nice to see him so carefree for a change.”

“And… and if he likes something?”, Kakashi asked carefully. “I mean, if he likes doing something, then would he say so? And… and mean it?”

“I guess.” The Sannin shrugged. “That will certainly make it easier for you to find out what he likes to do.”

Easier to find out. Kakashi bit his lower lip to keep himself from laughing bitterly. Then he went over to Iruka and gently pried the scroll out of his curious fingers before the Chuunin could unroll more of its text than, ‘Highly confidential – For the Hokage only’.

Iruka pouted deeply and only stopped when the Copy-nin promised him to get him beef ramen from Ichiraku’s. For second breakfast. But when he saw Iruka smile, Kakashi found that he could cope with that.

----- ----- -----

“Iruka, what would you like to do now?”, Kakashi asked while he threw away the empty takeout boxes.

Iruka frowned. Then he frowned more. And then he looked at the Jounin with an utterly confused expression.

“It’s fine”, Kakashi told him softly. “Don’t worry, Iruka.”

It should be enough that he did.

----- ----- -----

Iruka was sitting on the windowsill again, Kakashi observed while he futilely tried to read his book. The Chuunin’s face showed an expression of content and peace, but also a little confusion, just like it always had done after he had started to take notice of his surroundings again. The Copy-nin would have liked to help him get rid of the confusion, but didn’t know how and, furthermore, was too confused himself. He still couldn’t grasp why Iruka had come so close the former day, had all but cuddled up against him. They didn’t know each other at all, they had never been friends, had always gotten into fights. So why had the Chuunin said that he liked to be close to him the last day?

And why hadn’t Kakashi wanted to disagree, to send him away?

It had felt weird, that much he knew. Weird to have a man so close to him. A man! If Iruka had been a woman, the Copy-nin could have told why he hadn’t tried to push him off, but… but why hadn’t he-

Kakashi jumped in surprise when suddenly the couch beside him dipped. He looked to his right to see Iruka sit beside him. The Chuunin looked back a little worriedly.

“Everything’s fine, Iruka”, Kakashi murmured hastily. “I was just thinking.” About the Chuunin, about his nearness, his warmth.

“Good.” Iruka smiled softly, then moved closer slowly.

“Iruka, do you think this is a good idea?”, Kakashi asked hesitantly but didn’t move to get away.

Iruka frowned a little. “Yes”, he said simply before he moved next to the Jounin’s right side and lifted his legs over his lap until they crossed the Copy-nin’s. Then he squirmed a little until he could lean the left side of his chest against Kakashi’s right and place his head on his shoulder before he wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Iru… Iruka”, Kakashi whispered breathlessly. “Iruka, why do you do this?”

“It feels nice”, the Chuunin told him after a little hesitation. “Warm. Safe.” He snuggled even closer. “And you smell good. Like fresh leaves.”

Kakashi swallowed hard, then looked at the pages of his book without seeing a single word. He only noticed that Iruka had left him to go to bed some minutes later when he felt cold suddenly.

----- ----- -----

“It tastes weird.”

“I’m sorry?” Kakashi looked up from cutting onions for lunch, almost nicking his finger in the process. He tried not to look too surprised at seeing Iruka speak on his own accord, but inwardly did a happy dance. A very manly, very Jounin-like happy dance.

“It tastes weird. That word, I mean.” The Chuunin frowned.

“What word?” Careful now, he couldn’t seem too interested in any particular fact of what Iruka was talking about, else he would risk to shatter this new, probably still fragile willingness to speak. It had taken Iruka almost a week to do so, so he had to be very, very careful. Although he really would like to know how a word could have a taste.

“That word. You know, the one I am not supposed to hear.”

“And that tastes weird?”, Kakashi asked, rather surprised that the Chuunin was aware of his condition.

“It’s like… like something I taste, and I know what it is and how to call it, but I can’t tell.” Iruka frowned deeper. “Or something like that.”

“Can you think the word?”

“I don’t know. I know and can think of its meaning, and then describe it with other words, but I can’t remember to have thought that particular word.” The Chuunin sighed. “It’s as if I have a black spot in my mind.”

“When… when you looked at my book, did you read the word there?”, Kakashi asked. ‘Want’ had to have been on the page opened. Hell, a word more often in Jiraiya’s books was probably only ‘di-’”

“I can’t remember”, Iruka whispered and sighed again. It sounded almost defeated and Kakashi cringed inwardly.

“It will be better soon”, he assured, cursing whoever had invented that damn jutsu. It would have been bad enough if it had only affected Iruka in the way it did, but that he knew about that made everything even worse.

“I hope so. I don’t like this… taste.” Iruka looked at the Jounin’s hands, then went to the kitchen counter and started to prepare the meat.

-----

“Are you finished with the vegetables?”, Kakashi asked while he stirred the meat and onions in the pan.

“Yes.” Iruka handed him a pot filled with various chopped vegetables.

“Thanks.” Adding them to the meat, Kakashi kept stirring the food while he watched the Chuunin from the corner of his eye. Iruka seemed to be much better than the last days. During the preparation of the meal, he’d talked freely and moved without hesitation. It gave Kakashi hope that everything would really be alright again for him.

“Smells good.” Iruka moved to stand beside him.

“We’re a good team in the kitchen, don’t you think?” Kakashi smiled. Iruka was a good cook with an extraordinary taste. He’d added spices to the food that the Jounin would never have thought of.

“M-hm.” Iruka nodded, then suddenly wrapped his arms around him.

Kakashi jumped at the unexpected touch and let the spoon fall to the stove with a loud ‘clank’. He hastily grabbed for it but missed and instead accidentally pressed the side of his hand against the hot pan. “Gah!”

“Kakashi!”, Iruka gasped and yanked the Jounin’s hand away from the stove and towards him. “You burned yourself!”

“That’s nothing”, Kakashi assured, blushing slightly. How embarrassing! He was a Jounin, for Konoha’s sake! Jounin weren’t supposed to jump like a scared rabbit at a touch and then miss a simple spoon just to burn their hands in the process.

“It’s burned.” Iruka dragged him by his hand towards the sink and let cold water run over the burn. “I’ll get salve and-”

“That’s not necessary.” Kakashi took his hand out from under the stream although it started to hurt worse immediately after. But he was a Jounin, he had his pride, dammit! He didn’t need to be pampered.

“But you have to-”

“Stop it, alright?!”, Kakashi snapped. “I’m fine and-” He broke off when he saw that Iruka had frozen at his command.

“I’m sorry”, the Chuunin murmured softly, sadly, and looked to the floor. “I just tried to help.”

“That’s… I…” Kakashi looked at his sad, hurt expression and felt bad, so very bad for snapping at him. “Look, I’m sorry”, he sighed. “I didn’t wa- intend to snap at you or order you around.”

“It’s fine”, Iruka whispered, his voice giving away that it wasn’t, and Kakashi knew that it wasn’t.

“I’m sorry”, he repeated. “Can I still ask you for that salve? And a plaster maybe?”

“In the first drawer”, Iruka told him, pointing with his finger but still looking hurt.

“Here in the kitchen?”, Kakashi asked while he opened the drawer and found the tube of salve and also a box of plasters after a short search.

“I burn myself often here.” Without looking him in the eye, Iruka took the salve and opened it, then also took the Jounin’s hand gently and applied the cool gel on the burn.

“Wow”, Kakashi chuckled to cheer him up a little, “and here I thought I was the only clumsy shinobi in the village.”

Iruka smiled softly while he gently massaged the salve into the burned skin. “I’m only a little clumsy. And only in the kitchen.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t tell either”, Kakashi offered, lowering his voice to a low whisper.

Iruka’s smile brightened until it was a grin and he looked up. “Okay”, he whispered back, covered the burn with a plaster, then held the Jounin’s hand up for him to see. “Better?”

“Yes, very much. Thank you.”

“Good.” And then, to Kakashi’s greatest surprise, Iruka lifted the hand to his face and tenderly kissed the plaster. “My mom always did that”, he told the stunned Copy-nin. “Always made me feel better.”

“Oh”, was all the Jounin managed to get out while he stared at his hand. The burned skin still prickled and hurt, but somehow… somehow it wasn’t that bad anymore.

----- ----- -----

One, two, three, four, five days, Kakashi counted. For five days he had sat on the couch every evening, and Iruka had come to sit so close to him for some time. And every time Kakashi had neither told him to leave nor known why he hadn’t. And it was so frustrating, so confusing not to know what he wanted. All his life he had known that, so why not now? What was there about this Chuunin that his genius mind couldn’t grasp? What was so special about him that he had these effects on-

“Kakashi?”, Iruka’s gentle voice interrupted his musings. “Don’t you feel good? You’re frowning.”

“Hm?” Kakashi blinked. It was still a little surprising to hear the Chuunin talk so freely on his own since Iruka had only started to do it that day. “No, everything’s fine, Iruka. I’m just… just thinking.”

“You think a lot in the evenings.” The Chuunin smiled softly. “Can’t you find an answer?”

“Doesn’t seem so.” Kakashi forced a smile on his face. “But it’s… it’s nothing important”, he lied.

“Okay.” Iruka smiled again. Then he stood up from his chair and walked over to the couch.

Kakashi opened his mouth to tell him not to come over, not to sit close to him, not to confuse him anymore. He would tell Iruka to not come close at all anymore, that he didn’t like it, that it wasn’t right. And he probably should tell the Chuunin that he had to find someone else to take care of him.

When Iruka sat down beside him, Kakashi didn’t say a word.

When the Chuunin wrapped his arms around him and threw his legs over his lap, then cuddled up against his side, the Jounin stayed silent.

When Iruka slowly lifted his head and looked him in his one visible eye, seemed to hesitate and then leaned his head forward very slowly, Kakashi didn’t move a muscle.

When he felt lips on his masked ones, warm and gentle, Kakashi froze completely and didn’t move until Iruka leaned back again, smiled softly and then left the room to go to bed.

----- ----- -----

“Good morning.” A yawn.

“Good morning, Iruka.” Kakashi hesitated. He would have to use the word again. And he could use it to find out what Iruka thought about him, why he had kissed him the last evening. “Iruka?”

“M-hm?” The Chuunin smiled at him.

“I… I wa- … I would like to know… I…” Kakashi sighed. “What do you want for breakfast, lunch and dinner?”

Iruka’s smile vanished instantly to make room for blankness.

Kakashi closed his eyes and swallowed hard to get rid of the painful lump in his throat and chest. There was more than one way to abuse. And he wouldn’t go any ever again.

-----

“Iruka?”

“M-hm?”

“Would you like jam or honey on your roll?”

“Mmmh…” Iruka frowned and it took several moments before he answered, “Neither. I would like cereals for breakfa- Kakashi? Is everything alright?”

“Yes!” The Jounin bounced up to get the box of cereals, a silly, happy, completely goofy smile under his mask.

----- ----- -----

“I’m still a little surprised that you two get along so well”, Sakura said for about the hundredth time that afternoon.

“But. We. Do.” Kakashi had to use all his self-control not to glare at his former student. Was it that unbelievable?

“Yes”, he heard Iruka agree, and the thought of how much the Chuunin’s condition had improved over the last days caused a small smile to curl the Copy-nin’s masked lips. Iruka still was hesitant to make decisions on his own accord, but not only did he talk quite often by now, also did he take on activities he seemed to like, such as reading, cooking and even singing. The Jounin had been very surprised at first to hear the soft, gentle voice ring through the apartment, but by now he enjoyed hearing it more and more every time.

“I’m glad.” Sakura smiled. “I always thought that it was a shame that you weren’t friends.”

“Such a luck then.” Kakashi forced a smile. Friends… He was quite sure that he and Iruka had become friends. What he wasn’t sure about at all was everything that went deeper than friendship.

“Naruto will be happy.” The young kunoichi smiled even wider. “He was always complaining about how you were getting on Iruka-sensei’s nerves all the time.”

“Brat…”, Kakashi murmured.

Iruka laughed softly. “Kakashi’s not that bad.” And as if to prove his point, he moved closer to the Copy-nin until he could snuggle up against his side.

“Oh”, Sakura breathed and Kakashi could see her eyes go perfectly round.

“Iruka…”, he whispered. “Maybe you shouldn’t do that…”

“But I like it.” Iruka tightened his hold around his waist and pouted.

“Kakashi-sensei…”, Sakura started hesitantly. “Since when… what… why…”

“Some days. This. Because he likes it”, Kakashi gave back harshly, wondering why he felt so defiant and even a little angry at her at the moment.

“I like this”, Iruka whispered and snuggled even closer. “I like being with Kakashi.”

The Jounin felt himself blush deeply under his mask, seeing Sakura do the same across the room. He cleared his throat. “So, Sakura… How’s your education with Tsunade going?”

----- ----- -----

“Iruka, what would you like to do now?”, Kakashi asked although he didn’t have much hope to get an answer. Iruka was alright to make a decision between two or more things offered to him or when he saw what was possible, but a decision completely independent from any suggestions hadn’t been in his reach again yet.

So, for a long time, Iruka only looked at him, frowning.

Kakashi sighed. “It’s fi-”

“I would like to go outside”, Iruka told him softly.

Kakashi stared. Then he stared more. That… tha- wha- wha-

“Can’t we?” The Chuunin’s voice sounded sad, disappointed.

“We… we…” Kakashi blinked. “We can!” He jumped up. Alright, out of the window would be best. And then over the roofs as fast as possible not to have anybody talk to Iruka, and then they would hopefully make it out of the village and into the forest without anybody seeing them and then-

“Where will you jutsu us?”, Iruka asked.

“Jutsu?”, Kakashi asked back, then groaned. “I’m so stupid!”

“You’re nice.” Iruka smiled warmly and stroked over his masked cheek. “Thank you, Kakashi.”

“A… always”, Kakashi murmured. Or at least he would try his best.

-----

Kakashi looked around worriedly. Where was Iruka?! He’d only lost sight of him between the trees for a second, and then he’d suddenly been nowhere to find anymore.

“Iruka!”, the Jounin yelled, feeling himself starting to sweat from concern. What if somebody had found the Chuunin? And then taken him away? Or noticed his condition and seen the possibilities? What if somebody was-

“Gotcha!” And then suddenly something impacted in his side and threw him to the ground forcefully.

Kakashi gasped and whipped his head around from his position on the forest floor on his back to see what was lying on his chest and-

“Iruka!”

“Ha! I caught you!” The Chuunin grinned down on him, then hugged him and snuggled against his chest. “Now you’re mine”, he declared.

“I… that’s…” Kakashi wasn’t sure what to say to that. He wasn’t even sure what to feel or think about it. Only that he would have to remember that keeping Iruka inside for a week resulted into a hyperactive, playful Chuunin.

“Again!” Iruka jumped up from his chest and ran off. “You won’t be able to catch me!”, he yelled back over his shoulder.

“In your dreams.” Kakashi scrambled to his feet and sprinted after his prey.

-----

“Kakashi?”

“Hm?” The Jounin looked up from his Icha Icha he’d pretended to read while he’d been watching Iruka, then smiled when he spotted a leaf still in the Chuunin’s hair from their walk, more run through the forest. “What is it?”

“I…” Iruka bit his lower lip. “Naruto told me about your nin-dogs.”

“Did he?” Kakashi put down his book and waited for more to come.

“Could… could you call them?”, Iruka asked softly.

“Sure I can.” Kakashi grinned, happy that the Chuunin had requested something on his own. “May I ask why?”

“I… I would like to get to know them. Naruto said they’re nice.”

“Well, they can be.” Kakashi’s grin broadened. “But all of them would be a little too much at once, I guess. What about I summon only Pakkun for a start? He can talk best.”

“Please do so.” Iruka smiled at him happily.

“Alright.” Kakashi took out a kunai from his back pouch and pressed the blade against his thump until blood came, noticing Iruka flinch a little at that, then he formed the seals for the summoning jutsu and pressed his hand flat onto the couch table. Immediately, a cloud of smoke rose and the silhouette of his pug appeared.

“What is it, boss?”, he asked and yawned. “Scared of your own apartment suddenl-” He broke off and frowned. “Not your apartment.”

“Indeed”, Kakashi gave back dryly. “Iruka’s apartment.” He looked up at the Chuunin looking at the pug curiously. “Iruka, this is Pakkun. Pakkun, this is Iruka. He wa- He asked to get to know you.”

“Hey”, Pakkun greeted. “Nice to meet you. You’re that loud kid’s former teacher, right?”

“That’s right.” Iruka smiled at him. “It’s nice to meet you, too, Pakkun.”

“Then do you mind if I ask why you wan-”

“Pakkun!” Kakashi grabbed the pug before he could end his sentence. “Never say the word ‘want’ if Iruka listens to you, alright?”, he whispered into his ear. “Never, that’s very important. I’ll explain later.”

“Fine, fine, boss”, Pakkun snorted. “And now let go of me, alright? I don’t really like to be cuddled like some little girl’s teddy bear.”

“Fine”, Kakashi growled and set him down again. He didn’t really like to be compared to a little girl cuddling a teddy bear.

“You don’t like to be touched?”, Iruka asked softly, sounding a little disappointed. “I thought all dogs like to… to have their ears scratched or… or to be given belly-rubs.”

“Well…” Pakkun tilted his head. “I don’t really mind that, at least not if it’s done well. But I highly doubt that that’s the reason why the boss summoned me. Or why you wa- asked to see me.”

“I… I…” Kakashi could see Iruka blush deeply. “But I…” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Pakkun. I guess I… I didn’t understand that you’re… you’re not an ordinary dog. I’m sorry.”

“Iruka”, Kakashi called softly. “Iruka, why did you ask me to introduce you to Pakkun?”

“I thought I could… I thought I could…” Iruka whispered something, his voice too soft to be heard.

“Iruka.” Kakashi smiled. “Tell us, will you?”

“I…” The Chuunin sighed. “I never had a pet, you know. My parents were always away on missions and I was too young to take care of one on my own, and when I was older…” He swallowed. “Then they weren’t with me anymore. But when I remembered that you have dogs, I thought that I maybe could…” He looked away, blushing again. “I wondered how it is to…”

“Iruka, would you like to pet one of my dogs?”, Kakashi asked, smiling softly. It was so very Iruka to be hesitant to ask for something so trivial, to be shy about it. It was endearing.

“Yes”, Iruka breathed. “But it’s alright. If Pakkun doesn’t like that, I mean. I can understand that.”

“I can summon another dog, I’m sure one of the others will be happy to get-”

“Would you like to feel my paw?”, Pakkun interrupted. “It’s very soft and bouncy.”

-----

Kakashi wasn’t sure how things had come to where they were now. At first, Iruka had hesitantly, shyly touched Pakkun’s paw and assured that it was indeed very soft and bouncy. And then the Jounin hadn’t wanted to believe his ears when the pug had asked to be scratched behind his ears. Pakkun hadn’t even let him do that once he hadn’t been a pup anymore! And then a belly-rub. A belly-rub! And, as if that hadn’t been enough to turn his whole worldview upside down, Pakkun had happily played hide-and-seek with Iruka.

No, Kakashi wasn’t jealous. After all, whom should he be jealous of? Iruka? Just for him being allowed to play with his dog? No way! And jealous of Pakkun? Just because he’d been cuddled and petted by Iruka? Why should he be jealous of that? Hu? It wasn’t as if he wanted Iruka to cuddle with him, now was it?

Was it?

“This is nice”, Iruka whispered softly. “So nice…” He yawned.

Kakashi looked down at the Chuunin’s face, still a little flushed from his play with his dog, and couldn’t help but smile softly. Iruka was lying on his back on the couch and had his head placed on the Copy-nin’s upper thigh while Pakkun was lying on his stomach, obviously enjoying immensely how the Chuunin stroked his back. Kakashi found that he liked the picture.

“Am I too heavy?”, Iruka asked, his voice thick from sleepiness.

“Not at all”, Kakashi whispered back. The Chuunin was warm and having his head on his thigh felt a little… unusual, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“Mmh…”, Iruka sighed and then Kakashi watched him close his eyes. It didn’t take long until his hand stopped stroking Pakkun’s back and fell limply by his side.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi asked softly but didn’t get an answer apart from a sleepy grumble. “Why did you let him pet you?”, he asked his pug instead. “You never let anybody do that.” And Gai had once almost lost a finger when he’d tried to. That had been fun.

“Why do you let him lie on you?”, Pakkun asked back. “You never let anybody do that. And I also never saw you stroke anybody’s face.”

“Hm?” Kakashi suddenly noticed that he’d absentmindedly stroked a stray strand of hair from Iruka’s face and felt himself blush. “I… I…”

“He’s nice.” Pakkun carefully moved down from Iruka’s stomach. “Smells nice, too. I wouldn’t mind to have him around more often.” And with a last look at the Copy-nin he was gone.

Kakashi looked down at the sleeping Chuunin next to him. What was so special about Iruka, he couldn’t help but wonder. What was so special that he could even make the stoic Pakkun act like a little pup again? So special that he could even make the supposedly imperturbable Copy-nin not know what he was doing?

-----

Kakashi awoke with a rather nasty pain in his neck and at first didn’t know where he was. He blinked and slowly turned his head, winced at the pain, then recognised Iruka’s living room. Seemed as if he had fallen asleep on the couch. Sitting. And, a look to his thigh confirmed, with Iruka’s head still on his lap. Heh.

“Hrnmph…”, Iruka murmured in his sleep, frowning, before he rolled to his side. He scrunched up his nose, and Kakashi couldn’t help but think that it had to be the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

“Hrmmh… hnn… hnaa…” Iruka’s nose scrunched even more. “Chuu!”, he sneezed suddenly, and Kakashi immediately knew that he had been wrong earlier, because that had to be the cutest thing ever.

“Hm?”, the Chuunin questioned sleepily, blinking.

“Hey, sleepy”, Kakashi whispered softly. “What about you go to bed now?”

“Bed?”, Iruka murmured, still blinking, before he sat up slowly.

“Bed”, Kakashi laughed. “I can understand that you felt like moving today after having been caged in here for more than a week, but maybe the twentieth round of hide-and-seek was a little much for our sleepy Chuunin? After running around in the forest for hours before that, hm?” He really didn’t know why he was talking like that, he’d never done that before. But… it somehow seemed right at that moment. He blamed it on his own tiredness.

“Don’ make fun of me”, Iruka murmured, yawning. “Could have played with us.”

“I don’t think Pakkun would have ever again respected me if I had crawled on my fours under the table.” Kakashi grinned at the memory.

“You’re just too oh-so-mature.” Iruka made a face and then even stuck out his tongue.

“Iruka-sensei”, Kakashi gasped in faked shock. “And that from a responsible teacher!”

“Only when I’m at work.” The Chuunin grinned.

“Ah, such indecency.” Kakashi pressed the back of his right hand against his forehead and feigned indignation. “Shocking.” He winced when his neck reminded him of his earlier sleeping position.

“Stiff neck?”, Iruka asked sympathetically. “Turn around, I’ll make it better.”

“Oh, that’s… you don’t have to.” Kakashi suddenly was painfully reminded of what he’d done to the Chuunin on their first day.

“I don’t mind.” Iruka sat up on his knees. “Come on, turn around.”

“I better not.” Kakashi shook his head.

“Why not?”

“I…” Here it was, the moment of truth. “You don’t remember, but I… I made you massage my neck once. And cook dinner for me.” Kakashi couldn’t bring himself to look at the Chuunin next to him. “I’m sorry.”

“You… made me? You mean, you used the word?”

“Yes”, Kakashi breathed. “I regret it, really. I shouldn’t have done that. I promise I will never again-”

“Why did you do it?”

“Because I was stupid, egoistic. I didn’t really think about it, didn’t understand what I did to you, but when I did, I…”

“It’s fine”, Iruka whispered. “I forgave you already.” His hands were placed on the Jounin’s shoulders gently. “I didn’t know what you did back then, but I could see that you were very sorry. That’s why I forgave you.”

“Thank you”, Kakashi whispered softly. “I promise I will never again do something like that to you.” He turned his head to look at Iruka while the Chuunin’s warm hands did wonders to his aching neck.

“I know.” The hands slowly moved from the Jounin’s shoulders around his neck and met on his chest, Iruka embracing him from behind. “I know, Kakashi.” He tilted his head and gave him a soft kiss on his masked lips. “I trust you.”

Kakashi swallowed hard while he watched Iruka stand up and leave the room to go to bed. Trust. Trust was something he wasn’t willing to give easily. But somehow, Iruka had already taken it from him.

----- ----- -----

“I’m back!”, Kakashi announced when he entered Iruka’s apartment with his arms full of groceries. “And I have a surprise for you.” Perfectly ripe, unbelievably sweet and juicy, deep red cherries.

“What is it?” Iruka poked his head out from the bedroom.

“Can’t tell you.” Kakashi grinned. “Else it’s no surprise.” And no fun.

“What is it?” Iruka went towards him and followed into the kitchen.

“Sensei…” Kakashi shook his head. “A little more patience would be suitable for-”

“Don’t care.” Iruka took one of the bags from him with only a little bit of hesitance and a tiny look at the Jounin for consent, then stuck his nose inside. “I like surprises.”

Kakashi laughed. “You’re rather nosy. But you won’t find it in there.” The Chuunin would if he would just look into the small paper bag right in front of his face, but he wouldn’t tell him just that.

“Swap.” Iruka exchanged the bag in his hands with the one Kakashi held, then went to taking out the groceries one by one. “Milk… miso paste… carrots… apples…”, he murmured.

Kakashi watched him, grinning broadly. He would never have imagined that the supposedly stern and mature Iruka-sensei could have such a playful streak in him. But it certainly explained why every mini-shinobi in the village adored him so much.

It maybe even explained why Kakashi could hardly restrain himself from pouncing on the Chuunin and hugging him senseless.

“It’s not in here”, Iruka’s voice woke him from his musings. “Unless you think you could surprise me with bread and cooking oil.”

“It’s not in there?”, Kakashi asked innocently. “I wonder where it could be…” He slowly, obviously hid the other bag behind his back.

“Gimme?” Iruka’s eyes were glued to the half-hidden bag and he held out his hands but his voice was a little unsure still.

“You already chose one of the bags”, Kakashi reminded him.

“You tricked me. I… Gimme?” The Chuunin’s eyes became bigger and looked at him pleadingly.

“Cry me a river.” Although the eyes were quite impressive. But that Umino Jutsu of Breaking wasn’t enough.

“Gimme?” A pout was added.

“Don’t think so.” But it was getting harder to resist.

“Gimme.” The pout increased and the lower lip even quivered a little.

“Nope.” Now that show was impressive, Kakashi had to give him that. Aaand there hadn’t been a question this time. No, it had been a demand almost. Yes!

Iruka went from pouting to glaring. “Gimme or I… I…” He frowned. “Or I’ll hide your dirty book.”

“It’s in my vest.” But a good try. And an attempt at blackmail was so, so, so much better than pleading!

“I’ll oversalt the soup for dinner.”

“I can get takeout.” The book-thing definitely had been better.

Iruka growled softly and crossed his arms in front of his chest, but then suddenly grinned in what could only be described as a positively demonic way. “Gimme my treat or I’ll wait until you’re asleep and then shave your eyebrows, dye your hair turquoise and write ‘I will never again deny Iruka a surprise’ on your forehead.”

“Yeah, sure”, Kakashi snorted. But it was inventive.

“You think I can’t do that?” Iruka arched an eyebrow. “Who do you think shaved Genma bold last year?”

“That was you?!” Kakashi stared at him. That prank was legendary. The Special Jounin had never been able to find out who had done it and neither how it had happened.

“I could do that with you, too, but that would be too easy.” Iruka smirked and held out one of his hands. “Treat or turquoise.”

Kakashi looked at him. That Chuunin had to be kidding, he couldn’t really think that he was able to pull that stunt on him. Hell, he was Sharingan Kakashi, Copy-nin, master of a thousand jutsus! And Iruka was… was…

Looking reeeaaally confident and smug.

And Kakashi hated turquoise.

“I would have given it to you anyway”, he told the smirking Chuunin and took the paper bag with the cherries out of the bigger bag.

“I know.” Iruka took the treat, grinning. “But isn’t it so much more fun this way?” He opened the bag and immediately smiled brightly. “Cherries! Thank you!” He put one in his mouth and munched on it happily.

“Hey!” Kakashi laughed, happy that they had finally reached a point where Iruka would demand something. “Leave some for me, will you?”

“Here.” Iruka held one out for him, but then his smile faltered when he seemed to remember that the Jounin wore a mask. “Oh. Erm…”

“For dessert?”, Kakashi suggested, knowing that Iruka was too considerate than to try to take a peek at his face.

“Okay.” Iruka nodded and put the cherry back into the bag. “Miso soup with eggplants for dinner?”

“Perfect.” Asking for something, blackmailing to get something, demanding something – so perfect. Everything went smooth.

-----

“Why do you wear that mask?”

Kakashi coughed on his mouthful of soup he’d just meant to swallow. He gasped when he finally managed to get air back into his lungs, then choked out, “Iruka… why did you ask that?” He was very happy that Iruka was willing to talk on his own again, but sometimes his lack of inhibitions was quite unsettling…

“I was wondering.” The Chuunin shrugged and grinned – something he was doing more often with every passing day. And something that always made the Copy-nin’s breath hitch, just because it looked like life, warmth and joy personified.

“I guess you’re not the only one”, Kakashi answered evasively. He didn’t particularly enjoy talking just about that topic.

“You don’t like to talk about it.” Iruka nodded. “That’s fine if you don’t wa-” He broke off and frowned deeply.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi asked worriedly.

“What did I say?” The Chuunin frowned, then grinned sheepishly. “I guess I forgot.”

“It’s fine, Iruka.” The Copy-nin smiled in relief. In the last days, Iruka had tried to say the word ‘want’ a couple of times and always reacted like this. He wished the Chuunin would have been able to say it, but as long as trying didn’t make his eyes look empty, it was good enough for him.

“So… for how long have you been wearing that mask then?”, Iruka asked, throwing the Jounin into another coughing fit.

“Iruka, I… I don’t really w- like to talk about it.” Kakashi looked down at his hands. If his harsh answer had upset the Chuunin, he didn’t want to see it.

“Oh. I’m sorry, Kakashi.”

“It’s alright.” The Jounin smiled reassuringly at him.

“That’s good.” Iruka smiled back, then he lifted his hand to touch Kakashi’s masked lips with his first two fingers before he leaned forward slowly.

Kakashi froze. So far, Iruka had kissed him five times, always one kiss in the evening just before the Chuunin had gone to bed. This was new, and he wasn’t quite sure how to react.

When he felt gentle lips on his masked ones and warm hands on his cheeks, Kakashi closed his eyes only on instinct and for the first time moved his lips against Iruka’s. The thought of kissing a man still bothered him quite a lot, but then he just stopped thinking about it, and there were only soft lips, gentle hands and a pleasant warmth inside him left, and he sighed softly.

But when suddenly fingers slipped under the edge of his mask, Kakashi gave a shocked start, jumped back off his chair and pushed Iruka away from him without thinking. The Chuunin gasped before he swayed on his chair and fell backwards with it, hitting his head hard on the cold floor.

“Iruka!”, Kakashi shouted in shock and hurried to his side. “Iruka, did I hurt you? I’m so sorry! Iruka, I didn’t mean to do that!” God, what had he done?

“It’s… it’s alright…”, Iruka murmured and sat up slowly. When he touched the back of his head with his hand, he flinched.

“I’m so sorry, Iruka”, Kakashi repeated. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Still not able to think much, he simply lifted the Chuunin from the floor and then up in his arms and carried him to his bed.

“Kakashi…” Iruka buried his head on the Jounin’s chest, if a little hesitantly. “You don’t have to carry me.”

“Oh.” Kakashi stopped beside the bed and blinked. “Right. Sorry.” He hadn’t thought at all, it seemed. He’d just been so worried about Iruka.

“But it’s nice.” The Chuunin laughed softly.

“That’s… that’s good.” Kakashi smiled hesitantly, still deeply confused. “You should rest now, I think.” He bent down and gently placed Iruka on the bed.

“I’m sorry, Kakashi”, Iruka said softly. “I shouldn’t have done that. I was… I was just wondering”, he whispered.

“About how I look like?”, Kakashi asked a little sadly. People always wondered about that. Just as if there wasn’t anything else about him than his face.

“No”, Iruka told him to his greatest surprise. “I was wondering for quite long already how it would feel to kiss you without that mask. I wouldn’t have looked, but I would really like to know. Just touching your lips or kissing you through the mask doesn’t tell me.”

Kakashi looked into the Chuunin’s honest, deep eyes which he just knew didn’t hold any lie in them. He realised that it would have been the perfect moment to make a decision, to either leave the room, leave Iruka or to try to make this work. Whatever ‘this’ was.

“You’re frowning again”, Iruka said softly. “I wished I knew what it is that you think about so often.”

“It’s you”, Kakashi answered without thinking about it. “You confuse me.”

“I confuse you?” Iruka frowned. “Why?”

“Because… because you just go and do all these things”, the Jounin voiced his confusion. “You just cuddle with me and kiss me and tell me all these things that are so confusing. And that although we barely know each other. Although we’ve done nothing but fighting before all of this happened. Although we’re… although we’re both men. Doesn’t that bother you at all?”

Iruka frowned deeply, seeming to think about it all. “I cuddle with you and kiss you because it feels good”, he said finally. “And I think we know each other quite well by now, having lived with each other for more than a week. And that we’re both men… does that matter?”

“Doesn’t it?”, Kakashi asked back. Shouldn’t it?

“Not to me.” Iruka shrugged.

“Why not?”

“Because I like you. I don’t care about more than that. Would be stupid.”

Kakashi frowned, mulling that over. It sounded so clear, so easy the way Iruka said it, but life just wasn’t easy, or was it? And this whole situation made everything even more complicated. What if everything changed again the moment Iruka was freed from the last effects of the jutsu? What if-

“I think you’re thinking too much”, Iruka whispered, startling the Jounin a little.

“Maybe you’re not thinking enough about it. Maybe you’re just taking everything too easy, thinking that it’s fine just to jump onto the next person that happens alo-” Kakashi broke off hastily, flinching hard, when he realised what he’d said. “Iruka, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s alright”, the Chuunin assured, but the look in his eyes gave away that the words had hurt him.

Kakashi just acted on impulse, just to make that hurt disappear from Iruka’s eyes and also from within his own chest. He leaned forward and gently captured the Chuunin’s lips with his masked ones, closing his eyes almost instantly and solely focusing on the kiss. Without noticing it completely, his arms wrapped themselves around Iruka’s waist and drew him closer.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry, Iruka”, he whispered. “I didn’t mean it, I swear. I’m so sorry that I said something like that. It’s just so… so confusing and I… I…” Not finding the right words, Kakashi just settled for kissing Iruka again.

“Do you think you have to think about it more?”, the Chuunin whispered after they broke the kiss.

“I don’t know.” Kakashi looked into his brown eyes. “I think. Is that alright?”

“M-hm.” Iruka nodded and smiled at him.

----- ----- -----

“Iruka?”

“Hm?”

“Iruka, have…” Kakashi bit his lower lip under his mask. “You said yesterday that you don’t care that we’re both men. Have you been with a man before?” He hadn’t been able to think about anything else than… this for the last two days. Whatever ‘this’ was.

“Yes.” Iruka nodded, then turned his attention back to his book.

“Oh.” Kakashi wasn’t sure what to think now. On the one hand, it explained why the Chuunin was so open about their… possible relationship. On the other hand… on the other hand it made him… angry. And sad almost. But he couldn’t grasp why. “Who was it?”

“Raidou”, Iruka answered. “About two or three years ago.”

“And… how was it?” Confusing? And still… still somehow nice and warm? But still so very confusing? Or maybe-

“Nice. I liked him a lot.” Iruka frowned, then the look in his eyes became sad. “He left me for someone else.”

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi whispered, willing his voice not to shake from anger and hatred caused by the sad tone in the Chuunin’s voice. How could that Raidou dare to hurt Iruka like that?! How could he-

“He told me some months ago that he regrets leaving me”, Iruka whispered. “And that he would like me to come back to him.”

“Why didn’t you?”, Kakashi asked.

“I… I already liked someone else back then.” The Chuunin’s voice was barely audible.

“Whom?”

“You.”

“Me?”, Kakashi asked incredulously. “But… but we didn’t know each other at all back then.”

“I know.” Iruka shook his head. “I just… liked you.”

Kakashi just nodded. He had never been able to understand how anybody could like him. He wasn’t like Iruka, there was nothing likeable about him. The Chuunin was gentle and warm and friendly and lively and caring, he was perfectly likeable. Even Kakashi had started to like him quite a lot and-

Kakashi shook his head. He couldn’t manage this on his own, he knew that. He desperately needed advice.

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A/N:
Okay, a little later than expected. I apologise, but real life...
I think this chapter is a little unorganised with all the jumps between the scenes, but I hope it wasn’t too confusing for anybody other than Kakashi. ;-)

Nayru